The_annoying_one

Is working to patent the phrase “Well, isn’t this just a wet pickle?”

Went on a long theological rant about the intricacies and hypocrisies of organized religion when the In-N-Out employee asked, “Would you like fries with that?”.

I took some spaghetti noodles, chopped up a few chicken strips, and added alfredo sauce. It almost felt like a kids meal, but it was good.

Went to law school, but dropped out when he realized the bar exam wasn’t what he thought it was.

Gave Ghostrek $27 and a dictionary for his birthday.

Keeps a jar of worms in the refrigerator for emergencies.

Happy birthday.

No matter what major steps I take to curb my spending habits, life still finds a way to keep its foot planted firmly on my neck. I know I’ll be okay because I always manage to somehow pull through, but when does this bullshit end? Eh…I’m just in one of my “poor me” moods today. I’ll get over it eventually.

Took Mr. Hoonie to Disney World because he ate all of his veggies for a whole week.

Ends every conversation with “Okay, well…I need to go fart now…”

Pizza is so much better when it’s cooked well done.

Frozen pizza once again. My food situation’s gonna suck until I get paid next week, but it’s whatever. I’m not starving or anything like that.

Today would have been my mom’s 67th birthday, and I keep getting random emails about Mother’s Day deals. Why must karma fuck with me like this?

Is on a mission to paint every patch of grass she sees blue.

Called in to Unsolved Mysteries when he lost his favorite shirt.

Frozen pizza again, I guess. Just hope I don’t burn this one.

Thinks lava lamps contain actual lava.

Likes to go to the movie theater, just to yell at the projectionist to turn down the volume.

These ******* censors are ******* necessary these days because people tend to spam the **** out of bad ******* words here!

His idea of a fun Friday night is going to the discotheque and stopping for burgers and shakes on the way to the nearest farm for some cow tipping.

Named his pet rock Homer Simpson Jr.