The_annoying_one

Rides into town on a donkey.

Has conversations with himself.

Wears cargo shorts over sweatpants.

Has a premium OnlyFeet membership.

Has seen every episode of This Old House at least three times.

Been streaming movies and shows on my laptop instead of my TV lately. I kind of think I prefer it this way.

Is secretly responsible for every single complaint Bret Hart ever uttered about Bill Goldberg.

Seriously needs to think about publishing a book full of posts like the one above this.

This’ll be the last time I use Grubhub. Order’s taking an hour when Wendy’s is just a few miles away and they keep changing my delivery time.

In one of those positions where I have virtually nothing worth eating in my house but fast food for a third night in a row sounded pretty horrible. Had to eat something, though, so I went with nasty Wendy’s. It’s fine, though. Nobody to blame but myself here.

Says hello to people by glaring menacingly at them.

Opens a bag of Lay’s potato chips, eats just one, closes the bag, then emails Lay’s about their lie of a slogan.

I’m in my bedroom right now and I hear a weird tapping kind of noise. It almost sounds like a clock ticking but I have no clock in here. Whatever. EDIT: I turned off my ceiling fan and it stopped. Just disregard my stupidity here.

Carries suitcases full of luggage around everywhere. No one knows whose luggage it actually is.

Is that why people always tell me to go touch grass?

Travels everywhere on a pogo stick.

Collects egg shells.

Brings his own hot sauce and drinks whenever he goes somewhere to eat.

McDonald’s I’ve had a massive headache all day and completely noped out on cooking anything. Also, the exact same meal was $7 cheaper on DoorDash than the official McD’s app. What kind of bullshit is that?

Ordering fast food instead of buying groceries to cook is probably wasteful but will almost always be preferable to me. I despise cooking.

Becomes best friends with every scam caller who contacts him.