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UnevenEdge

I fucked up


Le Guignon

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55 minutes ago, Lasty said:

You didn't know... It was an offhand comment that happened to be circumstantially insensitive. Don't beat yourself up.

She was right in front of me.

I somehow didn't notice or it didn't click until several moments later after I had spoken...

 

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50 minutes ago, Radical Left said:

Ah, the makings of a situation that will keep you awake 20 years later for no reason at all....Talking sucks.

I told someone about it and she buried her face in her hands it was so bad and was like "how do you come back from that?"

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9 hours ago, Le Guignon said:

She was right in front of me.

I somehow didn't notice or it didn't click until several moments later after I had spoken...

 

I mean, like, don't beat yourself up, but also don't forget this feeling you're feeling. In the future, that feeling will help you read the room by providing incentive to not feel like that again.

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13 hours ago, Le Guignon said:

There was a cute, large, white, and fluffy dog at the store.

I exclaimed "Oh my gosh.  Aw!  It's like a cloud with legs."

Then I realized his owner was in a power chair and she had no legs. Zero legs. 

We briefly looked at one another but said nothing and I ran away in abject horror.

Why do I possess vocal cords?

Weak! You apologize sincerely and say you were distracted by her beautiful cloud dog. That eases the awkwardness because it's the truth, and people tend to relax when you comment on how gorgeous their pets are if you actually mean it. *Shakes my head in disappointment* How could you let embarassment interfere with your small chance of petting cloud dog?

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I guess I don't see what the problem was, at least until you made it one by running away.  You were talking about the dog, right?  The dog had legs.  There's no reason not to describe it as you did just because its owner had none.  It's not like you yelled, "OMG, you have no legs!  Where are your legs?!"  That would've been bad. 

If only you'd just smiled at her and asked, "Is this your dog?" or if it was obvious from a leash or something, just gush over how pretty it was and ask its name or any of the things you'd have said if the owner had legs.  People with disabilities know they have them and they know you know, so there's no need to triptoe around it like the elephant in the room.  Like it's ok to say "See what I mean?" to a blind person.  Or sign, "Did you hear the news?" to a deaf person.

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3 hours ago, Gina Szanboti said:

I guess I don't see what the problem was, at least until you made it one by running away.  You were talking about the dog, right?  The dog had legs.  There's no reason not to describe it as you did just because its owner had none.  It's not like you yelled, "OMG, you have no legs!  Where are your legs?!"  That would've been bad. 

If only you'd just smiled at her and asked, "Is this your dog?" or if it was obvious from a leash or something, just gush over how pretty it was and ask its name or any of the things you'd have said if the owner had legs.  People with disabilities know they have them and they know you know, so there's no need to triptoe around it like the elephant in the room.  Like it's ok to say "See what I mean?" to a blind person.  Or sign, "Did you hear the news?" to a deaf person.

Oh no, she like gasped and stared with her mouth open and we stared at one another and I didn't understand why. I went back to what I was doing for several moments before it dawned on me and I glanced back to confirm she was legless.  At that point enough time had elapsed where it was extra awkward and we were both edging away in opposite directions. Then I walked away because I'm not good at talking and it's better for me to just not.

I don't know if she heard all of what I said or the just " Aw!" and "with legs" part because of my mask, the distance, and background noise tbh...

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5 hours ago, DragonSinger said:

Weak! You apologize sincerely and say you were distracted by her beautiful cloud dog. That eases the awkwardness because it's the truth, and people tend to relax when you comment on how gorgeous their pets are if you actually mean it. *Shakes my head in disappointment* How could you let embarassment interfere with your small chance of petting cloud dog?

Nah.   Experience has taught me not to attempt to apologise to strangers aside from a brief "sorry" if I physically injure them.

I don't pet strange dogs anyway.  I just tell them how cute they are from a distance.

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3 hours ago, HardcoreHunter said:

She more than likely didn't care that you made the legs comment. People don't like it though when others talk to or pet a service animal. They get trained to ignore that stuff, but they don't want them taught bad habits. 

I was talking to her about her pet though.  It was also clearly not a service dog since it was trying to eat steak off the shelves and sniffing other customers that walked by.  

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42 minutes ago, Le Guignon said:

Oh no, she like gasped and stared with her mouth open and we stared at one another and I didn't understand why. I went back to what I was doing for several moments before it dawned on me and I glanced back to confirm she was legless.  At that point enough time had elapsed where it was extra awkward and we were both edging away in opposite directions. Then I walked away because I'm not good at talking and it's better for me to just not.

I don't know if she heard all of what I said or the just " Aw!" and "with legs" part because of my mask, the distance, and background noise tbh...

Oh, you actually made this more awkward than I imagined. When the other person is moving away, it's harder to apologize without making it weirder. 

58 minutes ago, Le Guignon said:

Nah.   Experience has taught me not to attempt to apologise to strangers aside from a brief "sorry" if I physically injure them.

I don't pet strange dogs anyway.  I just tell them how cute they are from a distance.

So you know proper dog etiquette, but you gotta get a better reaction when seeing someone without limbs while in an embarassing situation with them. Oh and I know this was probably a service animal which was why I said there was only a small chance of petting it. I keep my distance and only pet the dog if the owner offers first.

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9 hours ago, DragonSinger said:

Oh, you actually made this more awkward than I imagined. When the other person is moving away, it's harder to apologize without making it weirder. 

So you know proper dog etiquette, but you gotta get a better reaction when seeing someone without limbs while in an embarassing situation with them. Oh and I know this was probably a service animal which was why I said there was only a small chance of petting it. I keep my distance and only pet the dog if the owner offers first.

I've only ever been in two other weird situations with people missing limbs before.

One I was helping facilitate a cooking class for the non-profit I worked at for at risk and disenfranchised youth.  We were chopping onions and the girl (who was probably two years younger than me or so and that I did not know) told me to grab her fake arm.  I did as she asked and she detached it so I was just standing there holding it.  I don't know what I expected but that kinda surprised me.  I guess she could chop better by putting her stump on the top of the knife.

The second was with a dude I worked with who had me hand him stuff sometimes and I got stump brushed several times and he hit me in the boob once.

I also helped bandage a leg stump abcessed from shooting up in it once.  That wasn't so weird as gross tho.

I think I generally handle limbless people okay enough?

Edited by Le Guignon
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