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UnevenEdge

fuck convention, just do you


Mix

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25 minutes ago, StarPanda said:

It's all physics man, you just have to position it the right way and boom 

Always lift with your legs tho

always lift with your legs and place all the weight directly on your spine....and boom >.>

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Actually, I got super powers from pain killers back in the day.  When i first moved here, my neighbor was throwing a party and he was selling off his furniture because he got new shit when we moved in and had his old shit in his garage.....He had a really nice couch that i thought would go nicely in my garage for my man cave.  At any rate, we were getting fucked up and I was like "Help me take it to my house....He said "Man, I'll help you tomorrow....I'm fucked up".

But I wanted it then and there.....So somehow, I took the cushions off and flopped it, seated side first onto my shoulders and maneuvered my way though his garageand across the street to my house......When I got there, I realized I couldn't open the door without him so he went in through the front and opened the garage for me......I plopped it down and went back for the cushions.  

He just kept looking, and said "Htf did you do that"......I was just like, "I dunno".....So a year or so ago, I was throwing it out....It had never moved since that night, and I could barely push the thing, and it took 3 of us to get it on the kid's grandpa's truck.....Drugs, man.....Weird shit.

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57 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

Actually, I got super powers from pain killers back in the day.  When i first moved here, my neighbor was throwing a party and he was selling off his furniture because he got new shit when we moved in and had his old shit in his garage.....He had a really nice couch that i thought would go nicely in my garage for my man cave.  At any rate, we were getting fucked up and I was like "Help me take it to my house....He said "Man, I'll help you tomorrow....I'm fucked up".

But I wanted it then and there.....So somehow, I took the cushions off and flopped it, seated side first onto my shoulders and maneuvered my way though his garageand across the street to my house......When I got there, I realized I couldn't open the door without him so he went in through the front and opened the garage for me......I plopped it down and went back for the cushions.  

He just kept looking, and said "Htf did you do that"......I was just like, "I dunno".....So a year or so ago, I was throwing it out....It had never moved since that night, and I could barely push the thing, and it took 3 of us to get it on the kid's grandpa's truck.....Drugs, man.....Weird shit.

shit, I believe it....drugs is pretty crazy stuff brah

if only there wasa drugs to take for the sleeps...some sort of potion or pill for sleeping...yes, that would be nice

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4 hours ago, Vamped said:

=_=

If I cant pay my brother and his friends to move stuff for pizza and beer or borrowinv my car ... Ill just have to pay for 2 men and a truck. Im too old. 

If you can't get even random strangers walking by your house to help you move stuff for pizza and bear, that's not a world I want to live in...

To this day I still don't understand the home movers business model....Never hired them, never will

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2 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said:

I worry about his back tho >__>

Back, shmack.....I read somewhere that the curvature of the spine is designed to be able to handle weight far exceeding that of the....camel.....shit, that's right, the article was about camels.....ahhh, same thing, he'll be fine

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24 minutes ago, Mix said:

If you can't get even random strangers walking by your house to help you move stuff for pizza and bear, that's not a world I want to live in...

To this day I still don't understand the home movers business model....Never hired them, never will

Inviting randos walking past my house to take inventory of my household possessions and then transport them to a new location kinda sounds like setting myself up to get robbed later. 

 

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1 hour ago, SwimModSponges said:

... Why would you just do you at a fuck convention?

I mean, everybody else is there to fuck; you're just that weirdo on the sidelines doing himself.

You're the creepy guy at the fuck convention.

lil late, a better version of this joke was already made

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1 hour ago, Vamped said:

Inviting randos walking past my house to take inventory of my household possessions and then transport them to a new location kinda sounds like setting myself up to get robbed later. 

 

You need to read Malcolm Gladwell's new book Talking to Strangers

I'm not saying i've read it, but I like to recommend books to people so they think I read and am an into-actual 

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20 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Wouldn't a fuck convention where you do you just be a masturbation convention?

Be sad to attend a fuck convention and no one was interested so, like, you had to do you. 

But now, like, I may as well record the session cause nobody loves me better than me, unless I am currently hating me, so uncivilized. And now it's a tutorial for potential partners. Not many takers for it, not openly. So then we upload it online, probably to a porn site, cause I won't be censored dammit! 

Lo and behold, finally I get some eyes on my prize. And wouldn't you know it, suggestions, too! A lot of suggestions. 

Too many suggestions. 

My god these suggestions. 

 

I learn a valuable lesson that there's always more than one way to love myself so I accept the more...reasonable requ--suggestions. And before I know, I have a whole catalog! What a wealth of knowledge for any future paramours! 

Also what are tokens for? I keep getting tokens during my live tutorials. 

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2 hours ago, Mix said:

If you can't get even random strangers walking by your house to help you move stuff for pizza and bear, that's not a world I want to live in...

To this day I still don't understand the home movers business model....Never hired them, never will

I'd move just about anything if I was lured in for pizza and there was a bear.

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