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My dad said he was going to live long enough to see my niece graduate


GuyBeardmane

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And he did.  And less than four hours after I took this picture tonight, he died in a gas station parking lot on the way back home from her graduation.

I am feeling numb and empty and sick to my stomach and I guess I want people to send me pity and well wishes, but at the same time I just don't want to do anything or see or talk to anybody.

Things suck.

20180601_212532.jpg

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Man I know saying "I'm sorry" isn't going to make you feel any better but I truly am sorry. 

mourn away

I'm no expert but the fact that he lived to see her graduation seems like he went out on a really high note if a high note exist when losing a loved one

I know for a fact when one of my Parents passes away I'm going to lose my shit so if you ever want to PM me and just tell me about how cool he was I'm willing to listen

 

 

 

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My condolences to you and your family. I wish you all the warmth and love in the universe to help you through this tough time. Know that in his passing do not morn his loss, but celebrate the person he was. Who he made you into today and the people and the lives he’s touched. Know that even though we may not have known him, that he was still a shining light in a world that is helplessly dark.

❤️

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26 minutes ago, Adminderaptorpat said:

I am sorry to hear that, as inspiring as it is that he made it.

Was his health failing or was it happenstance? How is your neice handling it?

She's torn up right now.  The whole family is.

His heart's been failing for a long time.  He had gall stones and the doctors wouldn't perform the surgery because his heart was so weak they were afraid they wouldn't be able to bring him out of anesthesia.  Bad knees, bad shoulders, diabetes, high blood pressure.  He was living on borrowed time.  It was only after my niece's birthday last year asking if he was gonna be around for graduation that he made her that promise.

While we were heading back home from her graduation we stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break.  He started losing his balance while walking back across the gas station and fell in the parking lot.  Had his portable oxygen on and was trying to catch his breath.  A bunch of strangers came up to help him up, and when we picked him up and got him into his wheelchair he just fell over on me and stopped breathing and was already getting cold.  Called an ambulance and they took him to the nearest hospital.  Tried a shot of epinephrine and all it did was make his pacemaker fire off, and he had DNR in his living will, so that was that.

I feel guilty for not insisting we get his wheelchair out before we even got out of the car.  I feel like there's something I could have done differently instead of him dying.  I know it's silly to feel like that but I'm still blaming myself.

 

And I really do thank everyone for your condolences and everything.  It really does help.

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Honey it’s not your fault. These things...I know this is gonna sound awful....these things are fate...he lived and held on for her. And it was his time...he can safely pass with no regrets... don’t let this destroy you...plus he was able to pass in a place that wasn’t the fucking hospital...I don’t wanna go in those cold unfeeling rooms....I wanna go with the people who love me

Edited by Still Me
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4 minutes ago, Still Me said:

Honey it’s not your fault. These things...I know this is gonna sound awful....these things are fate...he lived and held on for her. And it was his time...he can safely pass with no regrets... don’t let this destroy you...plus he was able to pass in a place that wasn’t the fucking hospital...I don’t wanna go in those cold unfeeling rooms....I wanna go with the people who love me

i'm going to have to agree with this. based on what you said, there's literally nothing you could do. i felt the same way after my grandmother died, i thought i did something wrong. over time you'll realize that you didn't, but it's only natural to feel that way right after something like this.

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My grandmother had a few stories about people who held out for something, like one who held out on her death bed until her son flew home and got to her, that kind of thing.

It's a powerful motivator to have something or someone to need stick around for, but it's a bit of a two-way street.

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4 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

She's torn up right now.  The whole family is.

His heart's been failing for a long time.  He had gall stones and the doctors wouldn't perform the surgery because his heart was so weak they were afraid they wouldn't be able to bring him out of anesthesia.  Bad knees, bad shoulders, diabetes, high blood pressure.  He was living on borrowed time.  It was only after my niece's birthday last year asking if he was gonna be around for graduation that he made her that promise.

While we were heading back home from her graduation we stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break.  He started losing his balance while walking back across the gas station and fell in the parking lot.  Had his portable oxygen on and was trying to catch his breath.  A bunch of strangers came up to help him up, and when we picked him up and got him into his wheelchair he just fell over on me and stopped breathing and was already getting cold.  Called an ambulance and they took him to the nearest hospital.  Tried a shot of epinephrine and all it did was make his pacemaker fire off, and he had DNR in his living will, so that was that.

I feel guilty for not insisting we get his wheelchair out before we even got out of the car.  I feel like there's something I could have done differently instead of him dying.  I know it's silly to feel like that but I'm still blaming myself.

 

And I really do thank everyone for your condolences and everything.  It really does help.

Don't do that to yourself man. There's nothing you could have done differently. None of this was your fault. You did everything you could. 

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