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UnevenEdge

I was accosted today by two little girls who wanted to teach me Jesus.


Skinko

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I think the Mormons have realized that people are less likely to tell a child to fuck off. So now they're sending them to pester us instead of doing it themselves, and we have to deal with it, in lieu of slamming the door in a child's face and looking like an asshole.

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I think the Mormons have realized that people are less likely to tell a child to fuck off. So now they're sending them to pester us instead of doing it themselves, and we have to deal with it, in lieu of slamming the door in a child's face and looking like an asshole.

 

Honestly even when they're adults they don't  bother me. 

 

I've never had a problem with them leaving when I tell them I'm not interested. 

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I think the Mormons have realized that people are less likely to tell a child to fuck off. So now they're sending them to pester us instead of doing it themselves, and we have to deal with it, in lieu of slamming the door in a child's face and looking like an asshole.

 

:|

 

[move] TONIGHT ON 60 MINUTES: A string of child molestations has rocked the Mormon Church[/move]

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Despite the crass veneer I exhibit here, I find myself constantly entertaining door to door assholes.  I keep thinking "just shut the fucking door" but next thing you know I'm inviting them in because it's hot outside.

 

I mean I never "buy" what they're "selling" but I like wasting all of our time for some reason.

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Despite the crass veneer I exhibit here, I find myself constantly entertaining door to door assholes.  I keep thinking "just shut the fucking door" but next thing you know I'm inviting them in because it's hot outside.

 

I mean I never "buy" what they're "selling" but I like wasting all of our time for some reason.

 

Told this story on here awhile back, but basically I goaded two Jehovah's Witnesses into coming to my house every week for months, inviting them inside many times for snacks and drinks, even chatting about games and showing them my collection. After they said they would bring the service to me the following week I told them I was an atheist (I'm actually a nihilist). Never heard from them again.

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Who cares if you look like an asshole.

I guess it's less about looking like one, and more about feeling like ones. I can tell an adult that God is fake, to their face, and feel nothing. Not the case with kids. I like kids. And I know they're going to grow up and realize that God is just as real as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

 

Or they won't. Maybe they will be religious for their entire lives, and when they become adults, and our paths cross again, then I'll be a cunt to them.

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I guess it's less about looking like one, and more about feeling like ones. I can tell an adult that God is fake, to their face, and feel nothing. Not the case with kids. I like kids. And I know they're going to grow up and realize that God is just as real as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

 

Or they won't. Maybe they will be religious for their entire lives, and when they become adults, and our paths cross again, then I'll be a cunt to them.

 

:D :D I fuckin HATE kids...hell this one time I was walking out of this store call Hastings (which fucking closed)...told these kids having a bake sale that I couldn't buy anything cause I was diabetic...

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:D :D I fuckin HATE kids...hell this one time I was walking out of this store call Hastings (which fucking closed)...told these kids having a bake sale that I couldn't buy anything cause I was diabetic...

 

OMFG I do that all the time.....They are always like "would you like to buy some cookies sir" and I give them an appalled look and say "Sorry, I'm diabetic"  Then I come out of Walmart with a box of Krispy Kremes and a blueberry/lemonade shush from the giant pretzle kiosk.

 

But I really hate the neighborhood kids when they are selling something at school......I don't even lie to them, I just say "look, you know damned well my kids are selling this same shit"

 

And I fucking miss Hastings.....So much awesome nerdy shit and books....How could they possibly close? 

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I've heard that they started sending children.  You could try telling them how they're being brainwashed and how they're being used.

I could, although I think that would just make me a hypocrite. Besides, they're not my kids, and it isn't my place to teach them about how what they're doing is intrusive. At best.
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I could, although I think that would just make me a hypocrite. Besides, they're not my kids, and it isn't my place to teach them about how what they're doing is intrusive. At best.

 

They're going to your house so sure it is.  Plant the seed of doubt.  Their parents shouldn't be sending them off to strangers houses.

Not just because they're being a bother but also because it's dangerous.

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I think the Mormons have realized that people are less likely to tell a child to fuck off. So now they're sending them to pester us instead of doing it themselves, and we have to deal with it, in lieu of slamming the door in a child's face and looking like an asshole.

 

Manipulative shit like this pisses me off, and if there were any adults nearby who had accompanied the children, I would curse them the fuck out.

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They're going to your house so sure it is.  Plant the seed of doubt.  Their parents shouldn't be sending them off to strangers houses.

Not just because they're being a bother but also because it's dangerous.

I should point out that I was talking about slamming the door as a general thing people might do. I didn't slam a door, as I have no door. They actually tracked me down as I was on my way to an appointment. I can't confirm if they were making stops at houses or not.

 

But I guess doing it out in public is safer? Because people are passing by? Question mark? I dunno. I'd like to give the parents the benefit of the doubt, though no part of this narrative has given me a reason to.  :|

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Manipulative shit like this pisses me off, and if there were any adults nearby who had accompanied the children, I would curse them the fuck out.

See, for me, if a parent was with them, I can at least say, "Okay, they're teaching children to intrude on people with their shitty beliefs, but at least they aren't completely alone talking to strangers."

 

They were completely alone talking to strangers.  :|

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One time I got caught off guard answering the door to these two gorgeous 20-something girls who seemed excited to see me.  They asked how I was doing and how I liked living in this city.  The BS alarm was already going off full force by the time they whipped out their bibles and pamphlets.  Joke was on them, though.  I am very aware that I'll never snag anything better than a 1 or a 2.  Maybe a 3 if alcohol is involved.  Told them I was sorry but I already worshiped the devil and shut the door in their faces.  Then went and fapped while drinking a beer and watching them leave through the window.

 

Yeah no I apologized profusely and told them "sorry that's just not my thing" and did my awkward-ass bowing thing I do while half-waving.  Then retreated to my room to analyze every second of the encounter and what I did wrong while trying not to fantasize that one of them would come back later because I remind her of her dad.

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There is a way to get on their 'Never Go There' list. I think this was with Jehovah's Witnesses but same difference when it comes to door-to-door soul profiteers.

 

My boss at my first job told this story and it's retarded enough to be true. He used to work really long hours at a restaurant he helped manage ages back and that often included overnights so he'd get home hot and tired as hell. One morning he got home after a real bitch of a shift, the day was already starting out hot so he basically stripped and passed out. Then someone knocked on his door. And kept knocking. It woke him up just enough and that was the end of his patience with people at that point. Whips open the door and starts swearing. It was some 12 year old Jehovah's Witness. She took off and he went back to bed. It wasn't until he fully woke up hours later that he realized that he had answered the door completely nekid.

 

He has never had a Jehovah's Witness knock on his door since and he's moved quite a few times.  >:D

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I wish I had my Grandfather's talent.  He'd sit patiently & listen to their spiel, then start spouting Scripture right back at them & they'd start thumbing through their stuff, trying to keep up - eventually leaving & questioning their beliefs.

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