EmpressAngel

It's Bleach, it'll still have filler.

Some of us have room in our hearts for both, you cynical fuck.

I worked in a Walmart toy section from 2011-13 and I remember us having boxes of leftover Thundercat toys. I think most of them were some kind of Panthro's car playset thing, but my memory's pretty fuzzy on the exact items. I'd put dozens of them on the clearance shelves and I think we sold a grand total of two of them. I'm pretty sure by the time I left that job there was still an entire pallet of unwanted Thundercat toys shoved in a corner of the back room. Also this entire thread is cringy as fuck, y'all.

I'm back. Hero- I wish All Might would catch me like that when I swoon. No seriously how am I supposed to recover from that "SWALLOW MY DNA" line? This new girl is cute and this dude is very loud. Texas Smash those robots, son! Jojo- I love watching Hol Horse suffer. Really wish my husband hadn't gotten hit by yet another goddamn truck. I enjoy Mondatta doing his best Solid Snake impression. Don't worry Avdol I'll nurse you back to health. Polnareff continues to be the worst. His total failure makes me feel better about myself. And then Iggy mauled a small child. Hunter- Wait isn't that Killua's sister? Welcome to Trash Island. Well fellas this here is some fucked up shit. Sorry Titscorpion while I can definitely appreciate that outfit I'm rootin for the other guys here. Protect that kid at all costs because you don't want Killua's hot dad to get mad. Ooooh this is a fun power. I vaguely recognize this guy's battle music has some classical piece mixed in but damn if I know what it is. Clover- Fuck me it was a mistake watching this on my own. This whiny bastard has a point, where the fuck is the wizard king here? I'm still hoping 90% of the cast dies. How dare you interrupt this fight so that Asta can live. All these teams still sound like they came out of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Oh my god stop giving your undead soldiers such stupid names. Okay I can appreciate the Lesbian Squad. Naruto- Man I hope this angry lightning guy kills the shit out of Sasuke. Sasuke confirmed as the fucking worst. I hate this girl so much. Friendly assist from the sand buddies. I woud follow this angry man and his missing arm into hell and back. Please just team up and kill Sasuke. Eat a dick, Uchiha.

Listen buddy if I choose to get destroyed by that 560-pound hurricane of pure force then that's just how I go out. Maybe it just doesn't transfer if it senses the receiving body is too weak?

My computer's having problems this week so I've only managed to get Hero Academia watched: All Might is best dad. I am definitely ready to take that 560 pound hurricane of pure force at any time. I'm so proud of our tiny buff son. I had more thoughts but All Might started screaming "SWALLOW SOME OF MY DNA!" and how is my brain supposed to recover from that?

I know I'm late but All Might was screaming about swallowing his DNA and my brain came to a screeching halt for awhile there.

That's a fucking oxymoron if I've ever heard one.

Lucy literally just looks like Nami with blonde hair and more panty shots. Pretty much everything I've seen of Fairy Tail just seems like that kid in school who copies your homework but changes just enough to try and convince the teacher he did his own work. Also, this:

Hey you can't pin this on me he was like that before I got here. Yes. Dad Might, Avdilf and I will be very happy raising our adorable adopted kids together.

Hero- Yes, show us the depressing flashback again. Hug that boy. Oh goddammit he's dying. And now he's Small Might. Aw fuck the slime monster's still here. Oh great here comes this dick boy again. Eat the bullies, monster. I think he broke. Ouuuuch. Oh no poor dude. I can definitely live with only getting destroyed three hours a day. I want to hug him but I'm afraid I'd break him. Wow that's harsh. I hope he's still got some time left in BIG SEXY mode. Let the douche child die. ONE PUUUUNCH. Hiiii Mt Lady! Fire Hydrant Man is the real MVP here. Small Might might need some therapy. Seriously, give this boy a hug. Poor Small Might. Ohhh this is a bad idea. EAT BACKPACK, SLIME MAN. No, you really should have stood back and let him die. I'm glad All Might was wrong about this. HI BIG SEXY. God I love him. Now that's an attack. I'm slightly disappointed that his shirt didn't explode off. Okay he was already sick before I got here, you can't blame this one on me. Fuck off, douche boy. That's some big talk for a kid who had to get his ass saved by the quirkless loser. I love him. Soooo what's going on in his pants when he powers down. You're a hero to All Might, kiddo. All Might is your dad now. Jojo- How is Hol Horse still alive. I'd probably let Dio murderfuck me too, have you seen those abs. God why is he so evil and sexy. Horse boy gonna get himself eaten. Huh, that's some weird healing problem. Cowboy you are way out of your element here. It's time to jump out a window to avoid fucking him. Oh crap it's a plane don't let Joseph near it. Note to self don't take Horse Man's cab. HOL HORSE THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TRAVEL WITH KIDS. You are literally the last person who gets to scold a child about being a coward. He deserves to be barfed on. Mondatta is adorable when he's not doing that creepy giggle thing. Dude it's a stand don't question it. "And then Hol Horse jump-kicked the lady in the neck. Hol Horse respects all women. Oh hey, he saved her life. And that's how Hol Horse got another girlfriend. Meanwhile, the main characters fail. Oh no Holly y'all gotta speed this up. I hope Avdol beats the shit out of him. CHILD BOX. What in the hell is this prediction. If you shoot Avdol again I'll kill you myself. Kill him, Polnareff. Joke's on you his partner is a small, terrified child. Piss on him too, Avdol. This is such a weird show. This is the most awkward moment of their lives. I LOVE THIS SONG. Hunter- Fuck off, Thundercat. Joke's on you, Knuckle has the most terrifying power of all with student loans. Punch him in his weird cat dick! I hope that's poison smoke. That's a lot of buff shirtless dudes this is my favorite attack. STUDENT LOANS, MOTHER FUCKER. Oh you dumb bastard, you can't outrun interest. Ohhhh that can't be good. DON'T OPEN THE BOX. Uhhh kiddo I think you're a little beyond helping him. Hey Kite you okay there buddy? Ohhhhh Kite is very much not okay here. Well that sure is depressing. Gon honey get away from there he's gonna kill you. Even as a mindless fight monster, Kite is still a better parent than Ging. Y'all that is a lot of punching you should probably step in here. Awwwwww Gon. FUCK. I am very concerned here. Timeskip! Hey where is the old guy anyway? Tigers are pretty great. I got a real bad feeling about this. Everyone's going to get eaten. Aw crap I hope the old guy's not dead. Oh hey, that creepy bitch is stalking around the backround. I love that old guy. Yay he got his powers back. Dude don't be an asshole. Punch his spleen out, child. Gon doesn't fuck around. I love my adorable kids. Surely this will go off without a hitch. Clover- EVERYBODY ZOMBIE NIGHT. Yeah, everybody knows about the screaming dipshit who can't even do magic. Oh great the douche squad is here. Aim for their heads, ya idiots. I can't stop looking at those boobs. There's so many zombies, maybe she'll actually manage to land a hit on one. Eh, Iggy has the better sand powers. Great, it's a whole flock of bitch clones. STOP SCREAMING YOU DUMBASS. At least somebody is entertained by Asta. Dude there is no way anybody is gonna be threatened by a zombie minion named Jimmy. Ha, bird just dabbed. Well shit, I couldn't turn down a free gelato. Good job now your face is rotting. Okay at this point it's her own fault for not running away by now. God girl you're fucking awful. Thank you dude. "Quit being a whiny bitch and grow a spine." This bird is still the best character. I'm surprised she actually managed to help without failing. This show makes me wish I was deaf. Wow what a shock, Jimmy sucked. This zombie has no limbs and sounds like a dying whale, he's having enough trouble as it is. EAT LIGHTING, BITCH. Naruto- Aw crap it's that orange douche. Please just take Naruto. I don't remember who Nagato is. Oh goddammit didn't we already hear the Uchiha family story? I enjoy this angry man. Whelp so much for flytrap Travis. God I hope they find Sasuke and stab him. When does the kid turn back into the giant cute dude? The ninja storntroopers are on your trail. Oh you're irritated, welcome to every minute I spend watching this show. I hate this girl so much. Chakra thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. FUCK THIS FLOOR. I like his wrestling championship belt. I enjoy seeing Sasuke get hurt. Shut up Sasuke, you ungrateful bitch. Nobody likes you, eyepatch douche. Kick his ass, hot lady. I'm already full of distrust, hatred and resentment here! The juggalo is angry. Ohhhh them's fightin words. I'm kinda rooting for angry lightining man to kill most of them. Crazy Travis is fun. No don't kill the angry guy he's the best guy here. Why can't we have nice things, show. Uhh Travis you got a hole in your lungs. Please kill Sasuke.

You're all welcome.

So like, dick-wise, what kind of shrinkage are we talking about here when he goes from All Might to Small Might? I mean, three hours a day seems like plenty of time considering I'd probably need the other 21 to get the feeling back in my pelvis.

You forgot All Might and the heroic effort his shirt makes to not explode off his body. ♥‿♥

I literally have no idea what those are but okay then. So this other property took a similar premise and went a completely different direction with it, and you dislike the show because it didn't do the same thing?

Ace and I are very happy together.

.....Your problem is that being bullied hasn't turned the main character into a hateful bag of dicks? I mean yeah the kid is getting picked on by a gaggle of douchebags with powers, but he lives in a world where 80% of the population is also super-powered. He knows plenty of people with powers who are kind and friendly and it's obvious that the gang is assholes regardless of their abilities. That'd be like your local ginger going berserk and waging war on every non-redhead in the city because a couple of blonde kids gave him a wedgie.

But my sexy One Piece boyfriend pillow is cool, right?

Y'all know you can enjoy more than one superhero series, right?

Hero- Well this kid's adorable. The moral of this story is that kids are jerks. These heroes seem fun. I wish I could get out of work because of super villains. Helloooo giant lady. Okay some of these powers are freaking me out. Fuck off, douche boy. So he's like Asta only actually enjoyable instead of god-awful. Hi there, shrimpy dude. Ohhhh I am into this big Jojo-looking motherfucker. I'm gonna fight this douche gang myself. Hi there hot mom. This flashback is cute. ALL MIGHT, MORE LIKE ALL NIGHT AM I RIGHT? Damn, screwed over by your own toes. Please give this kid a hug. In the present time, ohhhh noooo. I'm uncomfortable with this. Damn that shirt is just painted on. Oh come on his attacks sound like porn titles too? He's a giant buff dork and I love him. KID NO. Oh fuck he's dying isn't he. It's okay kiddo you're a hero to me. Please hug him and then me, All Might. Jojo- Get your fiddle skills ready, Avdol. Jotaro really should have just bet on the order of the cards instead of poker. Hope you didn't like that finger, buddy. Now break his spine for good measure. Avdol can come get me and I'll handle anything he wants. If you break enough fingers he'll be too distracted to focus on the game. Well you've only got one soul to bet, make sure you get Joseph back first. Thank god for this narrator because I don't know shit about poker. Awww Avdol's such a good dad to this random kid. Dude, the serious glare is the only look he can manage. Aw fuck that's half your soul. Huh, that's an interesting strategy. Wait no don't just borrow my husband's soul! Avdol you can literally see the future and make your living by reading cards how are you bad at poker. I love my husband and his faith in his friends. AW FUCK HE'S CHEATING. No really, you can keep Polnareff's soul. Oh that sounds like a bad idea. Yeah sure, Kakyoin is probably down for that. Star Platinum pops out of nowhere to light his smoke. That kid is freaking the hell out. Dude's gonna break his own brain on this. Where did he get that drink. Rrrrrrrrrrrraise the pot?! Oh no if you put Holly on the line you better win. Ohhhh that's brilliant. Calm down Avdol, that codpiece must be too tight you should take it off. D'arby broke. I feel like I know less about poker now than I did 20 minutes ago. Yaaay grandpa's back! Oh my god Jotaro. Y'all should at least loot his wallet before you go. Oh hey Iggy nice of you to join us. Hunter- KICK HIS ASS KIDDO. Fuck off, douche brother. Meanwhile, call the cops on this lady. Oooh that's pretty. Please don't hurt my son. Gon honey that's a stick. Okay that's a really pretty stick. LITTLE HELP HERE, GUYS. Yeeeah you're not gonna get Kite back to normal. Aw fuck she's crazy again. Alright this time you shoud probably listen to your creepy brother's advice and get the hell out of there. Awwww Killua come here let me hug you. Uhhh what the hell? This would be so sweet if he wasn't about to get mauled. I'm gonna go fight his creepy brother myself. Good job son now kick that rabbit right in the dick. GOOD JOB I'M PROUD OF YOU. Ohhh fuck where's Gon? What the fuck. WHY IS THIS BITCH SO GODDAMN CREEPY. Gon is way too chill about this. What in the shit is this? Oh hey it's that one dude. Here bitch, focus on the dude your own age. Well thank god that whole child dating thing is over. Tiny robots! I love it when my kids are happy. Fuck you, Thundercat. I don't know why Knuckle needs to be shirtless when he fights but I appreciate it. Oh goddammit did I just get Knuckle killed. Clover- This is gonna be stupid and annoying, I can tell. Yeah just go ahead and fight here, really fuck up the Wizard King's dining room you dumb shits. Who am I supposed to root for when everyone fighting is terrible? Your name is Nozzle and your hair is stupid, you don't have room to talk. I'm so tired. YOU PARTY RIGHT NOW. Well hey, this dude might actually be almost decent. Okay Boobs here is alright. Girl every time you compliment him my opinion of you goes down. And then everything was on fire. Of course it's zombies. You gotta destory the brain don't you idiots know anything. Yeah sure that model's cool but you could have probably just looked out the window. YOU'RE WHEREVER IT'S LOUDEST. Food girl being here has literally nothing to do with the episode. Buddy I guarantee you that I hate everything here more than you ever could. Naruto- Sorry kids the honky abandoned you. I wish I could be in a coma for this show. She really shoud have beat him harder. Y'all realize that Sasuke is a massive douche and you're better off without him, right? Incorrect, both Naruto and Sakura and desperate to gargle Sasuke's asshole. Oh great, the one even worse than Sakura is crying. Shikamaru is so much better as a main character. Again, y'all could just accept that Sasuke is the worst and let him pay for his crimes. Yes Sakura you're awful and it's nice to see you finally accept that. I'm voting for the angry dude here. Yeah well maybe you should have bought stronger desks. I'm glad that someone else realizes this is bullshit. There sure are a lot of Uchihas for a clan that's almost extinct. HI there! Well at least somebody's enjoying this meeting. Sasuke is still thinking about breaking the record for most dicks in one mouth. Yes Sasuke is garbage and the sooner you realize it the better things will be. Oh great, this asshole is here.

I like that All Might's attacks sound like porn titles, and he can Texas Smash me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No, it really doesn't. Acknowledging that you're stabbing me in the ear with a screwdriver and then continuing to do it every single week does not make it funny just because you know you're doing it.

Probably just a giant buff dude passing out and then a poker chip dropping out of nowhere while the rest of these dudes scream weird shit at each other.

I AM UNCOMFORTABLE. Jojo- I love the narrator. SPHINX. Welcome home, Avdol. Oh no Holly. I'm also thirsty here. Avdol you live here, don't you have a street map or something? You look like an Old West Saloon-themed prostitute, sir. What is that crap all over his face? Guys, he's definitely evil. This is an obvious trap. Joseph is way luckier than most people, who else could survive four plane crashes? Well if any of them are going to get tricked into killing themselves here I'm glad it's Polnareff. POLNAREFF YOU STUPID FRENCH BASTARD. Wow what a shock this dude was evil all along. Quick, someone challenge him to a fiddle contest. I'm glad it was the one I care about the least. I hope Iggy fights that cat. Set him on fire, Avdol. Nobody cares about spelling, douche. Angry Avdol is doing things for me. Hey that day was eventually my birthday. Just cut your losses and leave him. I would like some chocolate, thank you. Joseph drinking isn't gonna help you here. Don't bring science into this! Joseph the hell kind of bet is that? Y'all should probably just listen to Avdol here. Oh your word as a gambler, that's worth a lot I'm sure. Oh you showoff. Joseph is cheating and I love him. This is going too well. Calm down Donnie. NO DON'T TAKE SEXY GRANDPA'S SOUL. The moral of this story is to listen to Avdol, goddammit. Make a bet about what the hell Avdol's pants are. Punch him, husband. Oh you dick. Look at all those sound effects. Whelp that was a bad choice, I sure hope Avdol's an expert fiddle player. Gundam- I'm sure this finale won't be depressing at all. Yeah sorry that kid is dead as shit. Kill them all, Mika. He's probably the oldest one left of the child soldiers, he might as well be the new leader. Blow that shit right up. I got zero faith in Mika surviving but the buff one might get out alive. I fucking hate this guy, let him do a suicide mission. Thank god someone finally hugged that kid. Ohhh that looks bad. Mika bout to lose the rest of his limbs here. Please kill this douche already. "Let me AXE you a question!" Please kill him already. FINALLY, THANK GOD. Aw crap the buff one's dead. Girl you are a real shitty judge of character. Aww I'm glad the adults survived. Is there any greater reason to live than getting your own harem? Well this sure is depressing. Fuck you and everyone you care about, bitch. At least the child fucker died and his legacy is hated, and I can appreciate that. Oh fuck you, asshole. Oh it's a time skip I guess. She looks good with short hair. Good, the hot redhead survived. Who woud have guessed that things would turn out so badly for the child soldiers. Kick him in the dick while your'e there. Hmmm her bodyguard there sure looks familiar. Shut the fuck up, girl. Yeah you sure killed a whole bunch of young kids who never had a home. Does your dick work in that chair, dude? Well i'm glad things worked out for the kids who managed to survive. Kill him while he's on the toilet, it's the death he deserves. Jesus this kid didn't fuck around. Aww the adults have kids. Atra got cute. Awwww he's adorable but has a terrible name. Clover- Bird is still the best character. I still can't understand you, Manson. I did not miss the creepy sister fucker at all. I do love those sheep chefs. I definitely don't drink enough during this show. Hey there Captain Sexy. Nobody likes you, sister fucker. I hate you both and that stupid sparkly face you make. You can repay her by shutting the hell up. What the fuck girl, have some standards. Bitches be crazy, glasses dude. Kneel, you dimwits. Shut the fuck up you did nothing. Oh jesus he has the creepy sparkly eyes too. I fucking hate you so much. Uh you should probably let go of that sword. It's also about knowing how to shut your goddamn screaming mouth. Maybe the super knights will use them as target practice. Hi there, boobs. Those are bitchface's siblings I guess. What the fuck kind of power is glass magic? I don't give a shit about any of these people. Shut the fuck up. Oh she's been eyeing some meat alright. I mean yeah, he did win thanks to Luck. Y'all suck at insults, you unoriginal fuckjockies. Now this dude's got some salt. I like that her own family hates her even more than I do. GET OFF THE TABLE YOU ASSHOLE. No please god, just be quiet. You're never done talking and that is why everyone hates you. Hunter- These strippers seem nice. I'm probably not gonna feel too bad about this guy dying. Ohh I don't like your odds here, dude. I do enjoy the cat puns. He has a point, humans are pretty terrible. No don't kill the strippers. Thank you, catdouche. Ohh this won't end well. MEAT ORCHARD does have a nice ring to it. Oh no not that crazy bitch. Is...is Bisky dead? Oh hell no you stay the fuck away from my son. Bitch he's twelve I'm calling the police. All this time I was worried about Hisoka showing back up but really I should have been worried about this nutty bitch. Gon what the fuck. CHILD NO NONE OF THAT IS OKAY. Obviously Gon needs to take Killua out on a date. Oh hey Knuckle. Honey no, Kite is not okay. Look out for terrifying fuck monsters, and not just the creepy lady trying to bang a sixth grader. Run away, bitches! Well that did not go well. That news report doesn't sound good Oh wow she actually looks pretty, but still way too old to be dating a goddamn child. Use the creepy woman as a human shield. Oh crap it's Speedo Rabbit. KICK HIS ASS, KIDDO. Naruto- They just followed the gravity of that lady's huge boobs. That dude's gotta be freezing he doesn't even have a shirt. Your friend is a dick and needs to pay for his crimes. He gives no shits and I can respect that. No Sasuke's kinda been an insufferable douche since the beginning, vengence didn't change him that much. I enjoy watching Naruto suffer. Were they ever even friends or did Sasuke just quietly hate him for years. This guy is great and a rare character that I might actually like. Gaara laying the smackdown on these guys. Oh right, that rapping dude is his brother. FIGHTIN TIME. I feel like the entire cloud city was formed mostly out of my own salt and hatred for this series. Man I miss gay snake Blum. Don't cry lady I'll comfort you and your rack. I genuinely don't remember if the audience knew that already or was supposed to be surprised by that. See, if you all hold hands and hug it out you can beat the enemies! I hope you put the giant angry guy in charge. Booooooooooooo.

He looks like he could launch my pelvis through a brick wall. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)