EmpressAngel

One day I'm going to be on my death bed and this will be the last thought I have before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

For a second there I thought this was about Dan da Dan. Rooster- Last call for cock. You're gonna barbecue that old man. The fucking jetpack is never gonna stop being funny. Chicken CPR, go! Meanwhile things are not going well with the boys. "Impaled by powerful cock" is exactly how I wanna die. Just die already! Eat shit, douchebag. Now everybody needs to go see a vet. He's got a forbidden cock technique? Piyoko's okay and definitely not possessed by some kinda super demon. I forgot demon friend's dead. He's okay! Dude just popped out of that thing titan-style. Please get this man some pants. This is going way too well. GODDAMMIT HOW ARE YOU ALIVE. Even the demon asshole gets a tragic backstory. Fuuuuuck. Not now, evil milf! Well at least he died happy. Oh goddammit this is a trap isn't it. Seriously, please get that man some pants. I'd do worse things for terrible women. You're not my real mom! God I wish that were me, I mean what. Okay cool I guess everyone's just friends now. I love you, Octogramps. Awwww Morio. Never trust a rich white dude. Sounds like it's time for somebody to get a training arc. This was by far the best Toonami original show. Season 2 when? Dandadan- I need someone to shove this kid in a large locker. Oh are we gonna see the entire series from the weirdo's perspective? They're so married. Has this fucking weeb just been here the whole time. Sweet, he made a gundam. Bro what are you doing. Glass houses, kiddo. Momo stop. The hoes love Okarun. Step off girl he's married. Holy shit I'm crying. They're all so stupid I love them. Good god the cringe is off the charts. Step off guy she's married. Come on buddy let's get you a full set of junk. Use the weeb as a meat shield. This is fucking beautiful. Why is your nut so fast!? And then they died. Weeb down! Oh jesus christ he thinks he's helping. You got any more of those Minecraft cubes at home? Did we win? It's a ghost you dumbass. GODZILLA!? I kinda love this cringey bastard. If I had a nickel every time we had to fight Godzilla for somebody's testicle I'd have exactly one nickel and that's enough. Blue Lock- Time for the wet fart of the night. What a shock, the selfish douchebag is a selfish douchebag. I already didn't understand soccer but every time he says "chemical reaction" I actively unlearn science too. Your bitter ex is both angry and horny over this game. Y'know what I can respect that douchebag's commitment to being a hater. Every time he calls them a donkey I just hear Gordon Ramsay screaming in my head. Take one for the team and fuck that guy before he kills someone. Crazy eyes are out in full force. You really should have just picked the munchkin. I just keep waiting for Discount Kurama's leg to snap like an old horse. I'm not taking life lessons from badly written soccer yaoi. Great job, you're still losing. Yes they used you like a cheap whore, deal with it. Cheap Whore's really gonna murder somebody. All of you just fuck already. You're all annoying. Once again rooting for Dimestore Bakugo to kill everyone. Oh great this ugly fucker talks now. Revengers- Previously, the dumbest fucking kids alive. Takemichi buddy I think you're just gonna have to cut your losses on this one. Why the shit would Mikey even want that guy back!? Who the hell are you. I hope these two can bond over getting their ass beat. It actually would have been hilarious if they pulled that off and gave him his brother's stolen bike. Reminder that Mikey's ratfuck crazy. So wait is he on our side then? In his defense, that dude just has the most punchable face I've ever seen. Jesus christ Takemichi you're really fucking stupid. It's a good thing everyone thinks you're full of shit. Probably should ask what that guy wants before you agree to help him. Hey I think we know that guy. This smarmy fuck should have been punched to death at least 18 times before we got to this point. Seriously, beat that guy to death. He's playing all of you like a bunch of fiddels. Okay then I guess we're back. Hello again bald grownup Draken how you doin'. WHAT. Easy solution, go back and kill that guy before the fight. Reminder that Mikey is like 12 different kinds of batshit crazy. One Piece- Oh god help us, Luffy's cooking. Pekoms is not having a good time. Oh right, Luffy doesn't know his own dad. I miss Garp. Not now, Carrot. Goddammit Blackbeard you already got my original fire boyfriend arrested you leave this one alone. Shit's on fire, yo. Sanji you gotta come home right now or these idiots are gonna die. Pekoms has regrets. I love the monkey puns. The hell you mean Carrot's safe, Captain Crashout's gonna lead her directly into the next fight. Why the fuck aren't you dead. Meanwhile, whatever this is. That man is not drunk enough for whatever's happening. Fucking mood, my guy. Shit man you single? RIP that poor bastard. Hiiiii Kid. Oh god you're even going to kill the skeleton. Somewhere, Sanji's having a heart attack.

Cock & Balls Power Hour stays winning. Rooster- This could be going better. That's a lotta horns, we're fucked. This chicken is so damn cool. Cows. Bro your dad is in fact a man whore. Awww he has a girlfriend. Oh dammit it's traumatic backstories all the way down. Mr Potatohead, no! The training montage is cracking me up. We're having a bad time today, guys. DEMON FRIEND! Uhhhh is Piyoko okay over there. This guy can fuck right off. I can't believe my curse bounced right off Endeavor's tits and is gonna take out Chicken Seitz instead. Uhhh hey buddy what's up with your organs? BEAT HIS ASS. His voice dropped a whole octave too. I am absolutely living for all the chicken melodrama. This is like when I hit second puberty in college and my boobs jumped up three sizes. That was awesome. That's real nice buddy but your dad kinda sucks. Even the devil gets a tragic backstory. Aw fuck it gets worse. Not now, bitch milf! Not now, douche kappa! Oh my god she has a jetpack. Can we get demon friend some pants? Eat shit, devil boy. Whelp we're fucked, again. Please don't kill our friend. The chicken show is not supposed to make me cry! Keiji gets the egg thing! Ohhh he is gonna fucking kill you now. Dan the Dan- Speaking of friends who need some pants. I love Turbo Granny clinging on his back like Yoda. Dang look at him go. MY HOUSE, AGAIN. Did we win? I vote we get the exorcism jam going again. Amazing, zero notes. Alright that makes sense, he's a literal damn child. Put your dick away! Grandma. Tonight's theme is apparently gratuitous cock. Here have these cursed underpants. What's Turbo Granny got. Okarun's not going anywhere, you're married. Just kiss goddammit. Oh right, we don't have a house. Just a fun girls night out with our weird mannequin. Oh no your DVDs. Who the fuck are you? Is that Minecraft? I'm a simple woman; I see Shrimp Dad, I clap my hands like a trained seal. I like our new Minecraft friend. Oh sweet it's alien magic. You're not helping, friend! That went surprisingly well. It's good to know Jiji's parents are equally bonkers. Aww it's good you're bonding with the violent murder ghost haunting your dong. Momo broke. Girl you and Okarun are literally married. I love Jiji he's so fucking stupid. Oh thank god he kept his pants on. Literally zero brain cells between him and that ghost. Goddammit ghost boy! This is ridiculous. Balls, you say? Don't worry buddy we're gonna get you a complete set of nuts soon. Who the hell are you? Blue Lock- Just fuck already. This boy is insufferable you should have taken the munchkin. I could be watching a better anime right now. I like that literally everyone in-universe thinks this is dumb as shit. I hate you, anime Steve Jobs. Kiddo you're the team bitch just be glad they keep you around. Meanwhile Discount Kurama's team is here existing. Shut up boy. Time for a deep conversation with your dicks out. I know I just used that "this is the gayest thing I've ever hated" joke before but it keeps getting worse. I'm being forced to watch a bunch of muscular homos in the bath and can't enjoy any of it, this is an outrage. Boy howdy that is one bitter ex. I hate you all. He's doing this all to save his boyfriend. I know I've used the "I understand less about soccer every week" joke before but it continues to hold true. Oh what the fuck. Revengers- That boy looks like a background character in Demon Slayer. How long til Takemichi gets a concussion this time? Hey it's a flashback episode, Takemichi might not get a concussion this time. Bro you have gotta get a better bike. Boys you're like 12 you have no business doing gang shit. Tiny Mikey is trying his best. The show really is nailing the "middle school dipshit" vibe. And then this kid got his ass beat half to death. That's fine buddy ou didn't need the kidney that just exploded. Reminder that Mikey is batshit crazy. Maybe for his birthday somebody should have gotten him some therapy. Don't tell me you idiots are gonna steal that bike right there in public. You idiots are gonna steal that bike right there in public. I'm pretty sure even back in the dark ages of 2003, stores usually had some kind of security alarm. Oh my god you dumb bastards aren't gonna steal somebody's custom bike that'd be super easy to trace. Oh my god you dumb bastards are gonna steal somebody's custom bike that'd be super easy to trace. This will not end well. Look I don't wanna see a 12-year old get beaten half to death with a wrench but this is a Find Out moment. Who the hell are you? Arewe supposed to know this guy? That kid is aggressive fucking stupid. WELL SHIT. You could start by calling a fucking ambulance. Y'know what maybe we should just let those two be in a different gang. Therapy, therapy for everyone. WELL SHIT, AGAIN. One Piece- A surprise Carrot but not an unwelcome one. Garchu! She's so cute we gotta let her come along. Pekoms is suffering. Alright she might have rabies but it's fine. Shit how are we gonna eat without Sanji. Oh my god Luffy's cooking we're all going to die. Tonight's theme is gmilfs. Kureha and Hot Grandma would be friends. Awwwwwwwww. Chopper's backstory is just a speedrun to see how fast I can start crying. I'm not crying you're crying (I'm crying like a bitch right now). Wait where are we? Who the fuck let you in!? The dog pissing on him cracked me up. This is bonkers. Lady I don't care how rich he is, you could do better. Awww the tontottas have straw hats. Hiiiiiii Rebecca's hot dad! Princess buddies! Carrot's having a great day. I love Brook. Oh hey it's Luffy's dad. Oh hey it's my substitute boyfriend. Wait what.

Disappointed that they took Dvorak's Symphony out of the Crocodile recap because we could have had a bit of a classical music theme going. Rooster- No one is having a good time at the cockfight. Good luck, chicken bro. GUN. He's trying his best. Elizabeth broke. Saved! This could be going better. Meanwhile, MY BABY. What the hell is going on. Alright we gotta find some kinda chicken exorcist for Piyoko. That thing can run out of ammo? Oh we're fucked. Guys I think you should just give up and run. That's some freaky shit. Please don't kill off Chicken Seitz. He's so goddamn cool. Alright we gotta find an exorcist and a talented vet asap. Ah fuck I forgot there's two of these bastards. I'm literally always here for an intense chicken backstory. Man if his shit dad stuck around to train Keiji he'd be unstoppable. Joke's on you, these roosters are sluts and they've definitely got more kids. Seriously guys can you get him a bandaid. Good fucking luck, buddy. Oh we're fucked, again. My dude your dad has been fried and eaten by now. Well that's definitely gonna kill you. Did we win? FUCK. Dandadan- Turbo Granny no! And then they were murdered by Beethoven. Remember you can always use Aira as a meat shield. What is going on. Okarun is not having a good time. I need a Turbo Granny in my life. HELL YEAH. You can just let her die. Fiiiine, I guess she can help. Ah hell they're going full Fantasia on us. Oh fuck it's the Opera Titan. I could not have predicted this plot if you held a gun to my head. Yes good you stay out of the way with the titans. He'll defeat you with the power of sweet rock music. You got this, kiddo! That was awesome. Did we win? Let's be clear, he could have done it without you and he's married to Momo. I vote we let Turbo Granny kill her. If you die in music class you die in real life. I love Turbo Granny so much. Meanwhile, this is a real bummer. Someone please hug Jiji. Fingers crossed this works. They're so married. Man if I had a choice I would exorcise multiple family members. Stand down, eyebrows. Look if he's gonna stick around you have gotta teach him to wear pants. Blue Lock- This is the gayest thing I've ever hated. You two dipshits just stay out of the way and let the talented ones fight it out. You're about to drive that boy into a murderous rage with all the short jabs. Of course he's in your blind spot, he's a circus midget. Crazy eyes, take a shot. I know I've said it before but I feel like I know less about soccer with every episode I watch of this show. Show I could not give less of a shit about Shorty's tragic backstory. Oh no your brother's a cryptobro you're gonna have to beat him unconscious with a chair. At least if you die in Blue Lock you don't have to be in Blue Lock anymore. Nobody gives a fuck what you think, munchkin boy. A condescending asshole yelling like that in even a slightly better show would have bodied me. Oh my god you suck so much. Jesus fucking christ he's explaining hte concept of eyesight. For a second there I expected them to take the ankle biter out of some ham-fisted display of friendship or some dumb shit. Now the gremlin is kicked out and his family will starve, great job guys. Meanwhile these two are picking up that dude's bitter ex. Just hatefuck each other on the good bed. Revengers- How many concussions will Takemichi get this week. Oh you fuck off you future truck-wrecking son of a bitch. Casual reminder that Mikey is ratfuck crazy. Yes please explain this Valhalla shit. And you call yourself a delinquent. Can we have class outside? How does this kid know so much if he's not even in the gang. That guy can also fuck off. Do none of these kids have parents that can just ground them? Who the fuck are you? I like that you can tell there's only one guy in town putting tattoos on middle schoolers because they all look like the same style. Well you're fucked, kids. The hell happened did they get hit by a bus? What the fuck kiddo. I'm sure this will end well. Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya? This is not going well.Ohhhh you are gonna get your shit beat in about 12 seconds from now. Well on the bright side you're still alive but Mikey's still gonna kill you. The fuck are you kids doing you're literally twelve. Show is really trying its hardest to tapdance around all the swastikas. One Piece- PRINCESS BUDDIES. Oh hey, it's that one guy. Oh hey it's everyone. Jango! I goddamn love that duck. This flashback will be on the test. Friendly reminder that Luffy will punch women, children, and animals indescriminiately. You just know the live action is sweating bullets about the budget for all this. I like that Crocodile became surprisingly chill after this. And nothing bad ever happened with Alabasta again. Look there's only so many jokes I can make for a 20-minute recap. That giant X on their arms won't be relevant at all in several hundred episodes. Cobra is not doing well. Igaram cracks me the fuck up. Oh fuck you. Fun fact: Sabo's shitty adopted brother became king of their country. Shirahoshi is so goddamn cute. Sorry Rebecca we've only got room in this show for one pink-haired crybaby princess with giant knockers and the position has been filled. Meanwhile, everyone's dying. Pekoms is not having a great time. CARROT!

Rooster- I don't think he's okay. That was Dio's flesh bud. That arm was just holding him back. Piyoko be nice. Sometimes a dude's just gotta destroy things. No shit he's scared. You gotta save our demon friend. What the hell. This show is a gift we don't deserve. Oh my god please tell me it's a chicken mech suit. Forget your shitty dad just save your friend. I'll call you mama I mean what. You have a really good time drinking with somebody and become bros for life. Oh fuck you. Not a mech suit but I'll take a bigass hand (wing?) cannon. We'll save them with the power of friendship and this weird gun I got from my even weirder dad. The chickens are down bad. Friend! Hey buddy remember the time I barfed in a parking lot and we got super drunk? Oh no kiddo that's a bad idea. I'd die for you Piyoko. Pretty sure you just crushed Roz from Monsters Inc. Thanks octogramps! The fish one still wearing underpants is unreasonably funny to me. Gross. Hey you found the parasite. Jab it in the butthole! NO MY BABY. The fuck just happened, this show is not allowed to make me cry. The fuck just happened, but in a confused yet hopeful way. Dan the Dan- Okarun broke. You've just unlocked a new fetish for him. I'm crying laughing. I love the friends so much. I've seen Akiba Maid War, shit's dangerous out there. They're so married. My work feels this slow but I don't get to wear a cute outfit. Awwww he waited for her. THEY'RE SO MARRIED. Meanwhile, shenanigans. Jiji's trying his best. He did it! Goddammit homewrecker. Whelp, Momo's dead. Sorry Jiji we gotta kill that guy in you. I think Jiji just figured out they're married. No, that was Aira's fault and she should feel bad about it. And now for something completely different. SHRIMP DAD! Teach him how to fight, he's got a wife to protect. He's gonna stealth train you to get stronger. Listen to eyebrow guy before the evil spirit kills everybody. Turbo Granny will teach you to fight! Fuck oooooooooooof. I love Turbo Granny so much. She's gonna teach you to get stronger with the power of music. We're being menaced by the ghost of Beethoven. What. Blue Lock- Just fuck already. What do you mean you don't know much about soccer, you fucking play it! I don't remember who anyone is if they've been gone for an episode. I appreciate whoever wrote this dialogue to be so unfathomably gay, just wish they got to do it for a better show. Who are you people? Oh great you get unlimited time with the creepy AI soccer gimp. There are so many ball handling jokes I could make here. How's it feel to be the ugliest girl at the prom? Crazy eyes ahoy. Do you know how checked out I have to be for a show when the shirtless dude with a shit personality does nothing for me? Just cut to the chase and have an orgy. It's a bold choice making your main character objectively suck shit compared to everyone. You dumb bastard you let him monologue at you. Revengers- So what's this prison's policy on conjugal visits, asking for myself. This plan is already off to a bad start. Who the fuck are you? Seriously, bash that guy in the kneecaps and throw him in a lake. Everyone disliked that. Mikey made a real bad choice here. Instead of getting into a middle school gang war you could just call the fucking cops at any point. Kid just looks like a bag of dicks even back then. Goddammit Takemichi. Who the fuck are you, again!? Time to reset the "days since Takemichi got the shit kicked out of him" counter. I'd be lying if I said I've never considered punching a coworker and quitting my job. Did this dipshit kill your girlfriend later because he was still salty about getting punched? Did everybody just leave his ass there and go home, oh wait there's Mikey. Gotta be more specific on who beat the shit out of him. My dude I'm pretty sure your friend needs several years of therapy. And now Takemichi's on a side quest to get repeatedly punched in the face. "Just trust me, that dude's vibes are absolute shit." Y'know I forget sometimes that Mikey is also batshit crazy. What do you mean he wasn't even in the gang this whole time?! I hope it's just one weirdo artist in town willing to tattoo 12-year olds because there can't be good money in that. One Piece- Everyone loves Chopper. I'd die for you, giant elephant. Y'know I bet that gaping wound on his leg wouldn't be as bad if you hadn't taken your sweet time to let him fight back. I hope Franky builds those two some cool new limbs. Gotta go find that pineapple. It actually never occurred to me you can just wire a regular snail into a shell phone. Pekoms is not having a good time. Pekoms is now having a worse time. If anything happens to that elephant I'll kill you all and then myself. You can't catch me, furry thoughts. I love that screaming lunatic. The girlfriends wanna go too. Let everybody go! I'm just gonna assume they're bitter exes. Meanwhile, Nami gets a new dildo. I know a lot of men who'd trade places with that climatact. Nami/Wanda otp. Brook is suffering. GET IT CHOPPER. And then they died. Brook is suffering, again. Oh hell yeah it's Vivi time!

Cock & Balls Power Hour stays winning. Rooster Fighter- More chickens! More chicken sex! Well, that's new. I got a bad feeling about this, chicken bros. The what now? Well, that's new. That guy is just We Have Baby 5 At Home. Really should have banged that lady chicken while you had the chance. Actual chicken bros. The plot, it thickens. It's the cats! It's everybody! Piyoko needs a hug and maybe some therapy. Awww he likes her. Who had "chicken love triangle" on the bingo card. Somebody's jealouuuuus. I'd probably also be horny after a two-day coma. Awwww baby Keiji. Dad was also a manwhore. Look buddy it's been like a week, your dad's 100% dead and eaten by now. This is such a dramatic backstory for chickens. The bros are fighting. Right in the cock! The hell is that power?! Chicken Dad is not doing well. Awwwww Piyoko. The random chicken sounds always crack me up. This makes complete sense and I will not question a word of it. Oh no it's our demon friend we gotta save him. Sorry show, my memory is too shitty to remember which demons I've seen before. Oh no it's all the good demons. Elizabeth is so cool. Wow this guy is ugly. Oh we got a bitch milf alert. The plot has thickened in ways we could not have foreseen. Dandy Dan- Jiji's not having a good time. Can we please get that boy some pants. Oh I'm fucking here for whatever this is. I love you Hot Grandma. They're not psychic they just have the power of rock on their side, that's good enough. Kick the homewrecker out she's a buzzkill. Shit slaps. The ghosts are here for it. Jiji you're a good boy but that guy can fuck off out of here. At least let them finish their set. I hope they still get paid for this. Okarun is also a good boy. Fuuuuuuck oooooooooof girl. I love these idiots. She could hit me with that bat, I mean what. Y'all are gonna have to huddle together for warmth. This is a mood. No seriously, let's kill that guy while Jiji's asleep. We don't deserve Hot Grandma. Aira is exhausting. I love Turbo Granny in her little sleeping bag. Someone say goodbye to Jiji. Don't go to work, work is a trap. I love the friends. Bitches be crazy, Okarun. Oh my god. I'm cackling like a swamp witch. Blue Lock- I have zero memory of anything that happened last week. Yeah sure enjoy your creepy AI sex doll goalie. You're all insufferable. I'm with this generic bastard, shit's boring. Again, you idiots can just go play for literally any other team on the planet after this. Sorry guys you have to play with Twink Slenderman. I unfortunately have to respect Possessed Boy for handing out stupid nicknames, game recognize game. What on earth is wrong with that boy. Maybe I'll luck out and a meteor will fall on the building. Think on the fly, boys. I'd suggest a drinking game for every time somebody does the crazy eyes but I don't want to die. The yaoi for this series must be incredible but god they're all so aggressively bland and unlikable. I'll take a potato chip and eat it-wait wrong homoerotic show. Boys you kinda suck at this. Learn a book, dumbass. Eat shit, boys. Oh no they stole your boyfriend. Revengers- Y'know I bet she thought "god this is so awkward I wish I'd get hit by a truck" at one point during this. Man when Truck-kun wants you it really wants you. You're wasting time, get over there and shake hands. Oh I'm sorry, am I making this funeral uncomfortable? Well that hurts. Yikes. You should probably check and make sure Draken's still alive in this timeline while you're at it. Just show me if Draken grew up to be hot. We've all gone through some depression binge drinking after failing to save our middle school girlfriend from a time travel death loop. Okay yeah I can work with this. Wow he came in pre-doomed, curse is working overtime. Ah hell what the fuck happened to Mikey. You heard him, we gotta kill that guy. Well on the bright side at least it sounds like Mikey's still alive. Seriously, just go back in time and throw that dude off a bridge. Or you can become a mob boss, that works too I guess. And then dongs. He looks so different with his hair down. This got gayer than I expected. They're real dumb. Hi, those other guys. One Piece- Squirrel! Zunisha needs a bandaid. Oh my god do not let Luffy take all the food he wants. Get that elephant some pain killers. Just tie a rope around Chopper and lower him down. Oh no you sent Zoro into the forest, he'll never be seen again. Nami's never beating the Big Gay Furry allegations. He's so cool. Get it Chopper! Brook the dogs are going to eat you. Zoro getting lost never gets old. Sanji's not here so Law has to fill in and bicker with Zoro. Franky's just out here having a good time. Derpbird! And then everyone died. They survived but are about to starve to death after Luffy takes all their food. Oh right, we're supposed to be rescuing Sanji. We gotta get Pekoms. I love that bonkers guy with no indoor voice.

Rooster- If we had a nickel for every show featuring a dog catching on fire around Patric Seitz we'd have two nickels. Oh that's fucked up. Keiji needs a hug. Elizabeth is real high maintenence. Pigeon fanboys. I am so fucking here for dating shenanigans. Update: the pigeon girls are racist. I can't stop laughing. I am once again forced to admit that if I was a bird I'd be down bad for chicken Seitz. It just keeps getting better. He's so fucking cool. Oh my god. Somebody's jealouuuuus. Don't trust this bitch. And now for something completely different. Run, chicken! I'm here for fish electrocution. Piyoko no! She's so goddamn cute. And then suddenly Food Wars. Oh my god he's dumb as hell. Mom and Dad are fighting again. Keiji you asshole! And then lizard mafia. Piyoko to the rescue! I love her so much. Well, that's new. She could use a little help here. She's doing her best. Chicken assistance! Sweetie you're a toddler, you're just small. I'd die for you Piyoko. Maybe she'd grow more if you didn't eat her food. We could use a little help here. Dandy Dan- I love you hot grandma. Well that could be going better. Who invited the homewrecker? You shut up and leave Shrimp Dad alone. I love you Shrimp Dad and Shrimp Son. Hey Jiji's back! He's fiiiiine. You asshole! Sorry Jiji we're gonna have to waterboard you. Poor mannequin can't fuck. Sorry Jiji that's your fault for being too cool. Okarun's having a great day. His name is what. Y'all are so married. Oh good, them bitches got arrested. Oh that can't be good. Shit she was a monster the whole time. Kanjuro? I love her friends. Stop inviting the homewrecker! So does Okarun not have parents? I love that dumbass mannequin. This is ridiculous. I love my idiot kids. Jiji broke. MY WALL. Blue Lock- What the fuck is up with that soccer gimp. Oh, of course it's just fucking AI garbage. I hate you, Steve Jobs. I hate you, weird soccer lady. Yes we get it teamwork is important and friendship is magic. I'd like to thank my dog for deciding every week that Blue Lock is the perfect time to make me take him outside for a prolonged poop session. "We saw you from across the room and we're really into your vibe." Sorry boys he's not breaking up with his boyfriend. Sorry boy you've been dumped. I'm gonna laugh really hard if they lose immediately but I know I'm not that lucky. Everybody pair up for your designated threeway. Wow what a shock it's a three vs three soccer game. This is stupid. Just go ahead and beat up this whiny sadsack bastard. I hate you all. Oh great this one's got an inferiority complex. Stop with the crazy eyes goddammit. It's not too late for Dimestore Bakugo to kill everyone. Revengers- This is going way too well. I wonder how long it's gonna take him to get a fresh concussion. So from her perspective you're probably just the weird boyfriend she had for like two months in middle school so like, maybe don't get your hopes up. He's being a surprisingly rational adult about this. Dude needs a hug or maybe a blowjob. Hey look, there she is. Calm down dude you're scaring the hoes. I appreciate how realistic the painfully awkward silence is. Bro don't go you've gotta be the wingman. Aww she still has the necklace. Oh my god dude is fumbling this so hard. Oh no is she gonna be married or something. Takemichi what the fuck did you do in the past!? Nut up or shut up. Who the fuck are you...oh hell it's that guy and he got hot. Goddammit keep that woman away from cars. What the fuuuuck. Ah dangit that means Draken's still gonna die. MY LEG. Jesus christ show. Do you want Steins Gate because this is how you get Steins Gate. One Piece- Elephant: Fucking help me! It's time to save the furries again. Momo's not doing too good. Jack fucking sucks, again. Y'all sure are spending a lot of time not helping that elephant. Oh dang we're getting some sweet elephant lore. What'd you do, elephant? Jesus christ just give him the okay. Stop making me watch these assholes hurt the giant elephant friend! Finally, thank god. Maybe you shouldn't have fucked with the 5000-foot tall immortal pachyderm, you dumbass. Eat shit, Jack. I keep forgetting that the monkey makes puns and am constantly delighted by it. Momo needs a nap. I am once again asking if Oden was hot. Well thank fuck that guy's finally dead. Luffy's here to take all your food before he fucks off. I recognize those pants, it's Kid with his big tits and anger issues. Oh shit that is one angry dude.

Let's go meeeeet Master Cat Vipeeeeeer Rooster- You can go ahead and kill off the Youtuber. I love our demon friend I hope he makes it out of this. Oh damn it's the dam, again. The real villain is shoddy infrastructure. You stay away from them! Awww demon friend is helping. Oh no the chicken show is gonna hurt me in ways I never expected. You are not gonna make me sympathize with the Youtuber. Whelp, he's dead. CHICKEN. This is going too well. Someone please hug our demon friend. DEMON FRIEND NO. If Keiji pulls this off you pretty much have to fuck him. Him taking off like the road runner got me. Meanwhile y'all should probably move to higher ground. We didn't deserve you, demon friend. Oh damn he's making a new dam. Well, we're screwed. Nooooo right in the cock! He's gonna need a good vet after this. If you love him let him smash. Shit he can't swim, show's over. I'm a simple woman, I hear Seitz yell SUPER and I laugh and clap like a trained seal. Even the shitty kids are here. No seriously, get Keiji some medical attention. Piyoko no! Even the shitty Youtuber's heart grew three sizes that day. He's so damn cool. HE'S ALIVE! Get that guy some pants. This is by a wide margin the best show Toonami's produced. Who the hell are you? Oh fuck you, lady. Dan the Dan- Tonight's theme is horrible natural disasters. Not now, them bitches! YEET. Glub glub bitch! Ewwww. Oh my god will you people just fuck off. Oh hey, that guy! Wait you know Momo's hot grandma? Not now, evil Jiji! Tonight's bonus theme is dudes neeing to put on pants. I think you should let him kill them bitches. What was that attack? OH MY GOD IT'S SHRIMP DAD. What is going on. I love that Hot Grandma has her own theme music now. Alright everybody team up and beat the shit out of this pantsless teen. Mannequin no! I hope we can fix him after this. Well, that sure was a thing that happened. It's shrimp son he's okay! Meanwhile Okarun and Turbo Granny are dead in the basement. It's fine he can come back as a ghost I guess. Oh, you can just beam up the lava that works too. They're okay! Yeah Jiji's okay except for still being possessed by a murder ghost. You're married now. Blue Lock- Now for the wet fart of the night. Enough with the crazy eyes! Still rooting for Dimestore Bakugo to just kill everyone. You boys either need to have an exorcism or a gay orgy, either way just get on with it. I would have laughed so hard if they'd lost. Great job, the band of unlikable freaks with more screen time beat the band of unlikable freaks with less screen time. Don't forgive that guy, punch him. Thank you, Dimestore Bakugo. You've only got like two thousand more games to play now. I understand less about sports every week. What do you mean you forgot, that was the entire plot of this! Who the fuck are you? Y'all missed the orgy. I hate you, Steve Jobs. You heard the man, don't touch your balls. You can now touch your balls again. Steve what the fuck are you talking about? This seems dumb. Grab your balls, boys. Revengers- Is it time to reset the concussion counter? Great job with the violence, kids. No seriously stranger, the fuck is your deal? Draken's gonna need some blood. Goddammit you were the coolest one here! Mikey's gonna need a hug. We're not having a good time, gang. I give it 50/50 on him living thanks to the power of friendship or dying to show how sad and brutal this setting is. The cool guy lives! No he's right, this was his fault and he should feel like shit. I hope Draken gets to grow up to be hot. This is going too well, he's gonna fuck it up somehow. Mikey's not doing so good. What the fuck are you wearing. Congrats buddy you get your own gratuitous lensflare. All good questions, what the fuck is that dude's problem. Maybe everybody's here from the future. His actual real teenage brain is gonna be so fucking confused. Here have this necklace, good luck not getting killed. Oh no, how'd you fuck it up this time. Oh hey, that guy's still alive. Bad news though, he lost his cool tattoos. Please don't bleach your hair again. This is going way too well. Genuinely surprised we made it through a whole episode without Takemichi getting his ass beat again. One Piece- I can't wait for some mindblowing twist that Zoro's sense of direction is fine, he's just always headed towards Laughtale. Marco? Polo! Goddammit Luffy. Every time we get a Marineford flashback I steel myself to see Ace get fisted through the chest again. Fuck you, Blackbeard. I miss you, Uncle Fish. Fuck you, lava douche. Let's split up, gang! Ah, bummer. Just start yelling "Polo!" until you find him. Hold on gang we gotta stop for a garchu break. Was that the fucking Vanilla Ice rap? Alright everybody who didn't get to play in Dressrosa, get on the ship. I'd die for you Brook, yohohoho. Robin can have whatever she wants. Yeah sure we got time for a quick party. Oh you fuck off out of here. And then everyone died. Pekoms is not having a good time. The elefriend is in trouble! Goddammit Brook. Oh hey, it talks. Someone please help the elephant. Jack fucking sucks.

Rooster- Sure you just saw those chickens beat a monster but go ahead and try fighting them. Fucking Youtubers. Let Keiji kill those people. Mom and Dad are fighting. Keiji no that's how you get a gambling addiction. Well that's new. I'm glad he made a friend. Feed him some urchin he's earned it. The rainbow vomit killed me. Keiji's dead, show's over. I love this demon guy I hope he sticks around. Let's get drunk! This show is a gift. Meanwhile the girls are probably dead in a ditch. Girls no don't fight! I don't trust this girl. Nevermind, it's just crippling depression. Cracks me up every time the chicken uses TTS. Oh no, your grandpa's gonna kick the bucket within the next episode. You're totally not in love with him. Look I can't judge when Chicken Seitz would absolutely floor me if I was a chicken. Fuck, stairs! And then everyone died. Look at my baby, she did it! Oh damn it's the dam. Dandy Dan- Sorry Jiji we're gonna have to beat your ass. This is still better soccer than whatever Blue Lock's about to do to me. That's a butthole, we're all thinking it. Okarun I respect the confidence here but you absolutely do not got this. You kids are married. YEET. Put some pants on that boy, these kids hit me squarely in the maternal instinct. Great rope. No pressure here but they are going to die. Shit's on fire, yo. I don't know much about soccer but I'm pretty sure the ball's not usually made of traumatized human souls. Don't look at his creepy forehead vagina! This could be going better. Ohhhh you done fucked up now. Muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda- Cock & Balls Power Hour stays winning. Now please get Jiji some pants. Oh shit we forgot to save Turbo Granny! Turbo Granny is the real hero we deserve. Meanwhile, reminder that ACAB. DUNE WORM. Sorry Jiji I hope there wasn't anything in that house you wanted to keep. Booooooooo them bitches is still alive. Oh fuck what now. Oh right, there was a volcano. Blue Lock- Fuck off, guy. Still rooting for Dimestore Bakugo to kill everyone. Can we please give the excessive crazy eyes a break for one episode? You're trying because he's your boyfriend and you're gay. Again I ask, what's stopping any of them from just playing overseas if they lose here? I'm just waiting for Discount Kurama's leg to snap like an injured horse at any point. Oh good they're still in the running, I was definitely really worried there. Look with your special eyes, again. Show I could not give less of a fuck about this backstabbing shitstain's tragic backstory. Alright, calling that boy a shampoo ad did actually get a smile out of me. Guys I think that dude is possessed by some kind of demon, he's spitting out a whole lot of miasma. Wow what a shock, shitstain learned the value of teamwork at the last minute. I'm rooting for the other guys at least they have their shit together. Revengers- Oh right, we're fucked. No seriously who the hell is that guy who's pulling all the strings. You had one fucking job! And then Mikey killed everyone. Kick him in the dick and go! He's fine he's just bleeding out by the second. Dude he is twice your size you're not gonna get far. The day is saved by exactly one person in this show being smart enough to call 911. It just keeps getting worse! No offense but I trust the guy bleeding out from his guts to win this fight before you. Prepare to reset the "Days since Takemichi got his ass beat" counter. He's taking his revenge, you could call him a...revenger. So you wanna bleed out AND lose all your money? Girls you really need to get out of here, they rape girlfriends in this show. I shouldn't have laughed at him immediately getting stabbed. My dude you should probably keep that knife. Goddamn you were always dumb as hell. Good job you beat one guy. Hospital now for everyone. Remember if you die in the past, you die in real life. FRIENDSHIP PUNCH. Oh you dumb bastards are going to die. I really shouldn't have laughed at his friends immediately getting their shit kicked. Oh hey, there's the ambulance. One Piece- You're never gonna convince me those two didn't have a real bad breakup. Sure I can go for another party. Law regretting his life choices is my favorite running gag. First thing's first, we gotta rescue our cook. Pekoms for crewmate. What the fuck are you people doing here again!? That ridiculous hillbilly accent kills me every time. Oh fuck you leave my elefriend alone. Shanks is so hot I miss him. You WHAT. Are there any more shocking revelations you're gonna drop in this arc!? Rayleigh's hot I miss him. Oh right, Franky's boss built the boat. Crocus is doing great, he lives in a whale that's also Brook's friend. LABOON. For the love of god, never let Zoro touch that compass. Good thing we have literally the only person on the planet that can rad those things. Y'all would have died before you hit the Grand Line if Nami wasn't there. Wait the fuck you mean you met Roger? Marco!

I'm glad someone's having fun with Crazy Eyed Soccer Boys even if it's not me. Rooster- Save my baby! Oh no the cat has adorable babies too. Can we offer you a nice egg in this trying time? How is the ridiculous chicken show doing horror better than Uzumaki did? Alright Elizabeth how many eggs can you make in a day. Ride the lightning, bitches! I didn't know chickens can't see in the dark but this show is teaching me a lot. Oh no not chicken flavor! Goddammit Keiji get your ass out there and kill some demons. What. This show is a gift. What's the chicken equivalent of blue balls? Ah crap this kid's doomed. The sooner you kill the demon the sooner you can get laid. GUN. Kid your dad sucks maybe you should just let him die. How does the silly chicken show do horror AND discount limited animation better than Uzumaki? This is just the plot of Holes. Ah hell he's possessed by the vengeful spirit of capitalism itself. Avoid the hypnotic forehead vagina! Oh no save my baby, again! I appreciate her just saying it's a wallet because I was wondering what was up with the zippers myself. No, kill his dad. Hey look, treasure. I'm not gonna question how the chicken has a grappling hook. Well there goes the treasure. He won fair and square you gotta bang him. You heard the man, go ahead and kill him. Right in the cock. Who the fuck are you? Dandy Dan- Well that's an ominous warning. Okarun's not having a good time. Yeet his ass out of a window, that'll help. Christ, show. Turbo Granny is the hero we deserve. Oh so that's why they call it a death worm. Jiji's a good boy. Who the hell are you? If I had a nickels for every show we've seen tonight where a monster's eye can hypnotize you I'd have two nickels. Is every monster in this show gonna hit me with a tragic backstory? Christ, show, again. Oh no it's them bitches again. Good news buddy, them bitches are dead now. Certified Good Boy moment. Maybe we should listen to Turbo Granny here. Uh guys where's Okarun? Ewww what is that. Hey kids I don't think that's normal. YOU SWEET WHOLESOME IDIOT. Oh goddammit now you're possessed. Y'know I already forgot about the giant Dune worm. On the bright side, if he kills the worm at least we'll only have one freaky monster to deal with. Okarun your girlfriend's dying you better get in there. You're gonna have to beat his ass. Blue Lock- I'm not lucky enough to have these idiots lose. Whole lotta crazy eyes again this week. How is this one weirdo the only one carrying all the brain cells on this team? I'm just rooting for Dimestore Bakugo to go on a murder spree. Whatever the fuck Jiji was doing 20 minutes ago was a better soccer game. I'm pretty sure the state of Kansas considers this evidence disproving evolution. Fuck off Steve Jobs. I think I hate this woman most of all. Wait, there's an actual referee watching these shenanigans? I'm confused as to how "you're a long-haired pretty boy in our anime" is supposed to be an insult. Gee I wonder if the main characters are gonna win. Revengers- Oh right, we're fucked. Yes kids this is a very heartwarming moment but there is shit going down like half a mile away. Have y'all ever considered maybe calling the fucking cops? I know this is supposed to be some cautionary tale about vengeance and street violence but Draken's just so damn cool. You should probably get that boy to a hospital. I hope that's the police. Do the cool Akira slide! Ohhh that little dude is real mad. I knew it, the real mastermind is...wait who the fuck is this guy? Well we gotta kill this douche now. Shit he knows how to block. Look my dude I think at this point you should just stop screwing around with time travel. I don't know who any of these guys are but at least we're not dying today. I hope this is Bryce at full "crazy little fight bastard" ala Inosuke. No seriously, somebody just call the cops. Yes good we got crazy little fight bastard. Draken is probably bleeding out in a ditch right now. New plan, cops first then therapy for everyone. Hit a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Maybe we should stab this guy before he stabs our guy. SHIT. I don't wanna kick a guy while he's down but goddamn our dude is bad at this. One Piece- Momo's really been going through some shit. God I miss Sexy Grandpa Rayleigh. This is your weekly reminder, fuck the government. Surely this mysterious century missing from history isn't important. Sorry gang we don't know shit. Everybody knows you need at least seven samurai to run a successful uprising. This is your weekly reminder, Jack fucking sucks. Rest while you're healing or Dr Chopper will beat your ass. You're in luck, Luffy's never found an ass he won't beat for fun. What?! Shut up Luffy let Chopper play with the ninjas. Goddammit Nami. And then Luffy made a second grader cry. No seriously I need to know if your dead dad was hot. Poor kid's got a hell of a case of PTSD. You're a good kid, Momo. Law, one again regretting his life choices. Captain Crashout's here for a party.

The worst is how the manga still has to translate his name as Zolo because 4kids was afraid somebody would sue them over the name Zorro. Welcome to the Cock & Balls Power Hour. Rooster- I love how confused all the bystanders are by these chickens. No seriously what'd you do to piss her off so bad. These people needed a hobby. This would be me if I was a chicken. The chicken sex never stops being funny. I like her earrings. Seduced again. Quick, cheese it! Chicken lolicon denied. Nooo not the dog. Damn chicken stole my phone. I am deeply concerned by the boob centipede. We should leave the Bob Ross demon alone. Hey look there's your demon. Oh that's fucked up. Keiji broke. Someone please hug that chicken. I'm not gonna question how the chicken manages to use a touch screen. Aren't y'all afraid of getting boiled? He can't swim. This show is a gift. Baby chick is literally cockblocking them. I'd die for you, Piyoko. Aw shit it's a demon. False alarm it's lady chicken. The plot, it twists. I'm all in for this chicken's tragic backstory. Bad dog! Oh neat she had fire powers. OH NO SAVE MY BABY. Dan Squared- Luckily my memory is garbage and I remember almost nothing from the first time we saw this. I need an adult. I wanna be Turbo Granny when I grow up. My greatest fear, a gaggle of crotchety old bitches. This OP is fine but I miss Creepy Nuts. Gege's a good boy. Just look at him, Okarun is clearly a small. Oh thank god, a cop. Nope, ACAB. Boys I think you should run. Damn streamers. Look sometimes you just gotta sacrifice a couple kids to a vengeful snake god. Momo don't go in that house. I NEED AN ADULT. Alright kids it's time to kill a bunch of creep boomers. Who are them bitches? Creep Grandma's got some moves. Oh, you're the one sacrificing kids to the vengefull snake god. This could be going better. Good job boys! Dammit boys! We gotta save our dipshit good boy. It's fine, he landed on this giant snake. Aw shit it's a Dune Worm. You should probably kill the shit out of that thing before it gets out. At least it ate the boomers. Uh hey kids you okay? Sorry, Okarun's got rabies. Blue Lock- No seriously just beat that one guy to death before the next game. Oh no his tragic backstory is that he was too spoiled, how sad. I can't even bring myself to care about a shitty dad. And that's how that boy became your sugar baby. I'm with Dimestore Bakugo, just kill that guy. Show I do not care about traitor boy's tragic backstory. I hate you, Anime Teen Steve Jobs. How is throwing the game for your own benefit not against the rules? I have no idea who this douchebag is. Maybe he'll hit you hard enough with a ball to kill you. My stream shit out for a good chunk of this episode but I don't feel like I'm missing much. Again I ask, what's stopping any of these kids from losing here and just leaving Japan to play for another country? Way to suck, kids. Revengers- I hope someone at the hospital keeps track of how many concussions this boy gets on a weekly basis. Hey bro sorry we destroyed everything you own. They're all idiots but the fun kind that doesn't make me wanna rip my own arm off. Can't wait to see the future's been fucked up because of this. Oh hey are the girls friends now? Go have fun kids, enjoy it before the next shitshow starts. This is why you keep your phone on silent. Ah hell here we go. Great job on the stealth there, buddy. Reset the "days since last concussion" counter. Oh no RUN AWAY GIRL. Always remember, untie the arms first so they can help free themselves. Our boy broke. Enjoy this while it lasts, it's probably the only good thing that will happen this month. Meanwhile Draken's probably bleeding out in a ditch. I have no memory of this guy. The plot do be twisting. This isn't gonna go well. One Piece- Thanks for the expo dump, narrator. I love how Roger has the most aggressively stereotype pirate voice. I'm with Zoro, just start stabbing. SKULL JOKE YOHOHO. Thank god the cat's carrying the brain cells this week. Luffy's never met an ass he's not ready to kick. We gotta protect Robin at all costs. Big deal we fought the feds before. Previously, like 400 episodes ago. We'd all die for Robin. Meanwhile, you people can fuck off. Oh hey Fujitora. At least Doflamingo's having a good time here. I just need to know if Momo's real dad is hot. Ooh, sweet lore drop. Ooh, sweet lore drop. Wait so can Momo read the rocks? Oh, that answers that. Well now you gotta tell me if the dead dad was hot. Wano's gone to shit, my dudes. That's fine we were already gonna beat Kaido's ass anyway. HE DID WHAT.

The Straw Hats being revealed as secret weebs is an unexpected but not unwelcome surprise. Rooster- Sweet, free fish. This briefly turned into Food Wars with slightly more exposed cock. Oh my god it's so cute. I've never fought a flock of birds before but I'll make an exception. Is...is that Ken Takekura? There's nothing more wholesome than a bond between an adorable baby chick and the hideously ugly man trying to sell it. Ah crap he's gonna turn into a titan ain't he. I got a bad feel about this. Oh I got a real bad feel about this. This is more depressing than I expected from the chicken show. It's like he exploded into Marshmallow Peeps. Give him the urchin. He turned into a shark dick. I'd die for this adorable baby chick. RIP shark dick. Those other chicks can fuck off. Oh no, he was absolutely trying to kill him. That's fine kid, that's how I feel with most characters voiced by Seitz. I love this so much. I need 40 plushies of this chick immediately. Speaking of worms. Fucking hydras! We won but ew gross. Just die already! This cannot possibly be my fault. You got this, little buddy. You gotta get the worm to save him. Awwww she helped. If this wasn't a giant chicken that line would work on me. Cue the hot lady chicken. Bitter exes? Who are you? Blue Lock- Gee I wonder if Dimestore Kurama's gonna lock in and score a win for these dumb bastards. Oh is the goalie actually gonna do his job for a change? Show I'm gonna save you some time, I do not care about anyone's tragic backstory. MY LEG. Alright that does look painful as all fuck. If you break your leg again they're gonna shoot you like a horse. Those twins are so viscerally hideous it makes me angry to watch. Just start kicking dudes in the dick since the rules obviously don't matter. Kid you know you could just quit soccer, you didn't have to do all this convoluted bullshit. Wow would have guessed, Dimestore Kurama locked in. Gotta go fast. I would have laughed so hard if his femur snapped like a twig there. So y'all are gonna beat that one guy to death in the locker room, right? No let Dimestore Bakugo kill him. Do you realize how dire a show is when I don't care about the homoerotic pretty boys? Revengers- Well we're fucked. I think the show's just trying to see how many concussions they can give a dude in one month. Kids that was your best fighter you should probably pack it in. Goddamn that little guy's got moves. Ah crap it's time to die. I think you should go ahead and kill that guy. Hey, we won! This is going too well. It's the cops we gotta cheese it. Nah I'm good with this. Wait does nobody else bring a knife to a fist fight? Our boy needs a hospital for his 27th concussion. Surprise titties. Well this has all gone to shit. Not now, misunderstanding blowjob hijinks! Oh hell yeah I could go for a puzzle. I respect the kid asking about porn immediately. Well we're fucked, again. False alarm we're good I guess. Oh fuck yeah, watermelon! Maybe somebody should go kill the rapist while he's weak. Oh no, Middle School Fight Club is over, what will we do. Boys just hug it out. These idiots destroying his shit cracked me up. One Piece- The gang devolving into weebs gets me every time. Is there a smaller guy inside him? Sorry Raizo they expected someone prettier. Oh hey, plot. Oh no they're gonna make me watch Robin's sad backstory again. I made it a whole 30 seconds before I started crying! Awww good, happy Robin. "Don't mind them, they're just dumb as all hell." They're all so stupid I love it. Even Law and Zoro are getting into it. Boys you have gotta stop reading so much Naruto. It's okay Raizo, everybody gets drawn into Straw Hat Dumbassery at some point. Robin's over there reading some deep important lore and meanwhile everyone else is sharing exactly 1/4 of a brain cell. Man you're gonna be even more upset when you see how bad this town got fucked up. Go ahead and cry, I already cried for three hours this week watching live action Chopper's backstory. Oh dang it's a real fancy poneglyph. Does this mean we can go see Laboon!? For the love of god do not let Zoro anywhere near those directions. And good news, we have literally the only person on the planet that can translate.

Finished season 2 and my biggest gripe is that they made Kureha way too hot. How am I supposed to focus on the story when I'm thinking about Dommy Mommy Doctor beating the shit out of me and then nursing me back to health- I mean, yeah the season was good. I sobbed like a bitch through all of Chopper's backstory.

I know I already made this joke but I really should have been more specific when I asked that genie to show me Seitz's character's cock. Rooster- That day, humanity received a grim reminder. I'd leave that kid and that's why I'll never be a parent. COCKADOODLEDO, BITCH. I love the clucking sound effect in the background when he talks. I am already bought in. Wow, graphic cock action right on my screen. This is fantastic. I'd follow this chicken into hell. KIDS NO! Wcdonalds sighting! Grandpa, help! Mr Cluckers. Meanwhile this man's about to off himself. Aww thanks grandpa. Oh goddammit you tricked us into the opening of Up. Of course the chicken has a tragic backstory. Attack of the Business Crab! I hope Business Crab eats those shit kids first. This will be a good paring with Dandadan when it comes back. BGAWK! I hope Seitz is doing all these random chicken noises too. GAAAH EYE. Beat his ass, chicken! That was awesome. I hope we never get an explanation for any of this. Dio? Awww chicken. I'm still gonna call you Mr Cluckers. Back to the dirty barn fucking. YOU WHORE. I know we're only one episode in but it's not like this show has much competition for best Toonami original. What. And now, sexy girl chicken. Blue Lock- In lieu of commentary just imagine me yelling "Haaaate hate hate hate hate" at everyone for 30 minutes straight, Oh that was real stupid. Revengers- I don't know who'd agreed to give a middle schooler a giant tattoo on the side of his head but it does look fucking sick. Oh that's depressing, Hey, they answered my question. Kid if there's one piece of advice I can give you it's never go to a tattoo place that misspells the word "tattoo" on their sign. And then they became best friends. Look at this little bastard go. Yeah y'all don't stick out at this active construction site at all. Great job you're giving this dude PTSD. "Internal trouble" is also what I call aggressive menstrual cramps. What do you mean inconvenience, I'm pretty sure you just got that man fired. Hey good news your friend's not dead anymore. It's the early 2000s, he would absolutely be telling you to quit acting gay bro. I'm pretty sure I have Mikey's exact outfit. And then he got his ass beat, again. Boy's on like his 15th concussion this month. Who's this douchebag? "Mr Son of a Whore" did make me laugh. Ah hell you're gonna die. One Piece- Garfield y'all lost a bunch of limbs in that fight. Jack fucking sucks. I like that Kinemon only speaks in LOUD. Speaking of fucking sick tattoos. The cat and dog are fighting, somebody get the giant spray bottle. Hey Momo what's up. Wait what about your dad? Hey somebody start explaining. WHAT. Momo I need to know if your real dad is hot. Yeah because that helped you avoid so many deadly enemies. I love Brook. Goddammit Nami. I think we should throw Momo off the elephant. We don't know why they hate each other so I have to assume they're bitter exes that went through a bad breakup. Aww look the elephant made you a rainbow. Whale tree! Oh god they're all weebs. The what now? I warned you about stairs, bro. Ninja expectations destroyed. Hey guys not to ruin the moment or anything but remember Sanji's still kidnapped.

I'm two episodes in and yeah, they're absolutely fucking nailing it.

Bare bones this week because ya girl busted her wrist and has to wear a brace for a couple weeks. Bleach- Aizen's never getting out of that chair. ARISE, CHICKEN. What the fuck is Izuru doing here. Shut up kids where's your hot dads. HI DILFS. Get out of here, Pigfuck Aizen. Blue Lock- It's cruel that I have to watch this show 100% completely sober. They did not give me strong enough pain meds to put up with this. I hate you all. Revengers- Being an adult with a job sucks. I'm uncomfortable. Bitches be crazy, my dude. Jesus christ. What. This is some insane mood whiplash over like five minutes. One Piece- And now everything goes to hell. Oh hey, Momo. They're gonna fight like...cats and dogs. What do you mean years, y'all were crucified together like two weeks ago. "Go back to your lasagna" is a brutal insult. The plot do be twisting. Everyone on this elephant has a phenomenal poker face and nuts of steel.

It's only been four fucking episodes!? Bleach- The eyes are still stupid. Do you also have the stupid wingding eyes? Wow what a shock Ishida was a good guy the whole time. I forgot most of you people were here. Oh great, dimestore Thor is here. Don't worry guys, Renji's here to save you. Don't you try to win me over with a half-hearted boner joke. Why is Pigfuck Aizen still here? Why did half that fucker's body parts become quincies? Meanwhile Chad and Orihime trying their best and failing. I forgot that was his power and it's still stupid. Yoruichi please kill him. Yoruichi gets to do something! God I'm gay. Great job Renji you've fucked it up. Yes Momo you had to kill that guy, what the fuck else did you think y'all came here to do? Shut up kids show me your hot dad. Meanwhile Ukitake's still dying. Not now, twink brother! Alright I got time to watch this little guy beat the shit out of this ugly bastard. That's a damn titan. Remember you can always use Momo as a meatshield. You know he gets stronger when you attack him so just keep standing there attacking him. I'm just here for the sideboob. This sounds like bullshit. Twink brother is real fucking stupid. Put a shirt on that man. Why are y'all pulling out their full names like you're their disappointed parents? Oh hey, Ichigo's still in the show. HOT DAD ALERT. Blue Lock- Don't fight kids, I hate you all. Oh NOW you idiots question listening to Anime Teen Steve Jobs. I've had eye exams more enjoyable than this show. When I was a kid I wanted to be a cat when I grew up and I was probably right. I could go for some steak. At least this one shares his meat. That steak is made out of the losers flesh isn't it. I hope you all lose and the show's just over. Enough with the crazy eyes goddammit! This is a trap and you're all stupid. Quick, kick that boy in the leg and break his ankle. Shut up, dimestore Bakugo. Shoutout to the one dude with like two brain cells doing his best. Christ I hate you all. Maybe that one boy who's posessed by the devil can help you. Oh hey, the main character actually did something useful for the first time in this show. Well that boy just broke half his ribs. Shut up boy nobody cares. Revengers- That girl is so cute he really fumbled it back in the day. Probably shouldn't shake her brother's hand for awhile. He's trying his best but he's had like 14 concussions this week. Definitely don't go back to the future, it sucks here. Ah hell back to the future we go. So was he just in a coma for like three days? You never told him to kill him! "Hey buddy I know we haven't seen each other in like 12 years but wanna hang out?" is probably not gonna work. Great job you accidently fucked over your friend's life. Well at least I feel better about my own home. Oh this is gonna go real bad for you ain't it. Hi there, hoes. I think my sister dated that guy a decade ago. That went surprisingly well. Oh shit! How the hell did you clock that!? He's gonna jump off that roof isn't he. Oh no the cool dragon guy died. BOY THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. One Piece- Luffy's gonna need to eat in like 20 minutes so we gotta get Sanji back quick. I love Pekoms. Ah hell no wonder he had to go. My dude this idiot literally fought entire government for his friend, you think some old lady's gonna scare him? Pekoms needs a bandaid. Run Brook! Anime Garfield is here and I love him. Chopper is not having a good time today. HI LAW. They're so dumb. Bear! Law's life is suffering. Brook is also not having a good time. CAT NO. Zoro's in a good mood as long as the booze lasts. Are we having the end-of-arc party already? Fuck yeah, lasagna! Oh right, the samurai. At least somebody remembered Kinemon is there. Whale hair! Wait where the hell is Momo in all this? Derp Tiger is doing its best. Great job guys, you blew it. Oh goddammit Kinemon.

🎶 Let's go meet Master Cat Viper, he will know what to doooooooooooo 🎶 Bleach- I don't have much hope but I'm rooting for that fire dipshit. These two definitely use to fuck. Wait his powers do what? Show I do not care about their childhood backstory. I got a bad feeling about that Creep Uncle. Were those horses also quincies. Blah blah blah the kid who sucked turned out to be stronger, who'd have guessed. Also you were gay and down bad for him. I straight up have no idea what time period this is supposed to be. What I'm learning from this flashback is that dipshit was always stupid beyond belief. Surprise he chose your bland toast friend. There's a 100% chance everyone assumed he's just molesting that kid. Look with your special eyes! Those wingding eyes still crack me up every time. Double surprise, you're the one who's sucked this whole time. Oh snap he full-named you like a disappointed parent. Show this backstory is putting me to sleep. Somebody lost an arm in Bleach, take a shot. Welp, fire dipshit did about as well as I expected. And nothing of value was lost. Bluelock- So if Japan's team is absolute dogshit, is it really a punishment that they can't play for Japan's team? If they're such great players, what's stopping them from just trying out for another country's team that isn't funding Anime Teen Steve Job's Soccer Hunger Games? The crazy eyes are out in full force. I hate you all, kids. Boy you are mathematically the shittiest player here, you think you're gonna be the top scorer? I have no idea how to play soccer and I don't think these kids do either. They're finally learning that teamwork makes the dreamwork like Barney taught us in kindergarten. Good job you scored exactly one point. Now what bullshit plot convenience will keep the ragtag bunch of losers in the game. I forgot there's five games to play. Hey look, there's exactly one fairly likeable character in this show. Why are you naked. Of course that asshole speaks in cryptic riddles. Oh my gooood stop talking. I wanna rip my own arm off and beat this man to death with it. That one boy really is discount Bakugo. Revengers- And then he was beaten to death. That 37-year old eighth grader is going to murder you. Get you a friend who's willing to stab a fight club boss for you. Buddy I think all those beatings gave you a concussion. Bro stop talking he is literally going to beat you to death. Hey, a new dude. Mission accomplished, I guess. Kick him harder. Congratulations on your new mob boss boyfriend. Kick him harder, again. Fight club's cancelled, kids. You should probably go to a hospital for the massive amount of internal injuries you've suffered. Aww she's so cute. Good news your boyfriend's here. "This is a school so I schooled them" made me laugh. Not now, girl! OH NO. You are adorable but real, real stupid. And then he got murdered for real this time. Good thing your boyfriend has a sense of humor. That went surprisingly well. We'll create a new, better era where delinquents are respected and-wait that doesn't sound good at all. Hey look it's the other guy. One Piece- Luffy's never met an ass he won't kick. I love Pekoms' design and I'd take a bullet for him next time. Fucking mosquitos! Just let Brook fight them, he has no blood. FAT GATOR NO! Glorious return of the nipple lights! Every time Brook sings I smile and clap my hands like a trained seal. Never fight a man powerful enough to be his own backup singer. This is gonna be stuck in my head for the next three weeks. 10/10 no notes, give that skeleton a Grammy. Whale tree! Commence the garchu. This guy looks cool. GET IT, CHOPPER. Oh my god he's anime Garfield. I love you, anime Garfield. Chopper's really going through it. Wait, Sanji's got a shitty dad? I hope Sanji's shitty dad is hot. In a surprise twist, Sanji was Killua this whole time.

Hey you can't blame me for that! When a man's that stupid that's all his own fault!

It's been a long time since a show made me feel like I need to gnaw my own arm out of a bear trap and yet here we are. Bleach- Yeah sure we all give a shit about this random backstory. Who the fuck are you? I'm just here for big titty sword waifu. Somehow that guy looks dumber every time he's on screen. The fuck is he now, some kinda snake chicken deer monstrosity? Listen to big titty sword waifu. I'm sure we were all dying to see Nanao of all people in action. Did you fuck her mom, Captain Chesthair? Does anybody in this show know how their own damn swords work? Oh waaah you bitches get any man you love killed, join the fucking club. This is giving off some uncomfortable vibes with the context that they're blood related. We gave your great grandma this busted-ass sword as a joke and your family's just rolled with it for generations. Okay those girls calling Aizen hot and dragging Shinji's hair made me laugh. No seriously, how the fuck do zanpakutos actually work in this series. Gee I'm glad we're defending this institution that executes people on a whim for bullshit reasons. Yeah lady, getting your leg cut open is gonna hurt. Thank fucking god that thing's dead. You're both bleeding out but don't worry, we already killed off our only competent medic months ago. Blue Lock- Everyone in this show has crazy murder eyes. Instead of getting better coaches or players, we're just gonna hold the Hunger Games. Yeah let's just trust a bunch of teenage boys with Anime Teen Steve Jobs. I'm with that generic pretty boy, this is some bullshit. I hate you, Anime Teen Steve Jobs. I hope we get to meet a single likeable character eventually. "Getting locked off" sounds so fucking stupid. Why does nobody wear shoes? Oh great, this annoying boy is possessed by a soccer demon. The only soccer player I know is David Beckham and that's just because he married a Spice Girl. No shit your rank went up, like 20 people just got kicked out. Oh, he just stated the obvious. Even the soccer adults are intolerable. "We're locking 300 kids in a building with an obvious child predator and we're just gonna see what happens." Woman you are literally insane. You heard the man, no goalies. Oh god help me there's skits. Revengers- We're gonna throw your ass in front of a train again until you figure out how to save that girl. If you can't save the sister you can at least bang the brother. Gyaaaaah his eye! You gotta go back in time and kill those guys. Somehow, time traveling via handshake makes way more sense than whatever bullshit was going on in the soccer show. Oh no you time traveled back in the middle of getting your ass beat. Middle school delinquent my ass, that grown man is 37 years old. What are you doing, you dumb bastard? And then he got his ass beat for the third time in 40 minutes. Shocking that this plan went awry. It's kinda hilarious that time travel goes off of handshakes here. Aww she's adorable. Hey real quick can I shake your brother's hand. Don't just stop in the road you're gonna get hit by a car. Maybe don't go to Fight Club today. Well that boy's about to die. Boy's about to learn the first rule of fight club: at least tie your hair back. I don't know enough about Japanese middle school fight clubs from the mid-2000s, can y'all not just call the cops? They're going to kill you, my dude. That 37-year old grownass man is going to murder you. I admit, this dumbass is starting to grow on me. One Piece- They call her Big Mom because after 35 kids she's got a vagina like a clown car. Big deal the old lady wants to fight, Luffy's already at war with the entire government for his friends. Sanji's having a bad time and needs a hug. At least Caesar has to suffer. I like it when Sanji gets to be cool. You should go ahead and shoot Caesar anyway. Oh yeah, his poster does say that. CHUNGUS CAT. Oh no Pekoms is still dead. Sorry show I can't stop staring at Nami's boobs. You know this is bad because he didn't insult Zoro on the way out. Even Brook is crying and he doesn't even have eyes, yohohoho. Hey could somebody maybe untie us. It's okay Nami your furry girlfriend will console you. I'd take a bullet for that cat. I like that Zoro clearly does not give a shit laying up there on that gator. Oh fuck that we're not joining her. Quit punching that gator he's gonna bite you. We gotta have a cook or Luffy's gonna die in 48 hours. Zoro in a rare moment of being the voice of reason. I love Brook. Pack it up gang we gotta go fight an emperor. Pekoms for crewmate.

For a minute I got Bluelock confused with Gen Lock and thought, wait didn't we already see that weird mecha show with Michael B Jordan? Bleach- Oh no I should have drank more. Hey look, a quincy finally remembered they're supposed to be archers. I don't care who wins I just want both of you to suffer. Goddammit Nemu. Oh god what now. The fact that Mayuri was allowed to roam free for over a hundred years is reason enough to let the quincies destroy the universe. You don't get to call anyone else creepy you insane clown fuck. Please let Mayuri take himself out with this attack. Oh fuck did it eat Kenny. Hold up did Mayuri actually give half a shit about another person for a second there? I know Akon but I have never seen these other people in my life. I refuse to believe Mayuri had any genuine affection for this girl at any point in her life. Nemu honey you have got to get some self worth. At least when you die, you don't have to be in Bleach anymore. What the fuck are YOU doing here?! Show you are never going to make me feel an ounce of sympathy for the evil science clown. Of course you had her organs booby trapped. He gave it super cancer. Ikkaku you take out your sword and stab that clown to death right now. In case you thought there'd be any stakes, all the popular characters will be perfectly fine. Just let that poor girl die. Why are you idiots still here. How are you still alive, dipshit? Bluelock- I don't know jack shit about soccer. Boy's got crazy eyes. You stupid fuck. Alright so these two are the homoerotic rivals from opposite sides. Fuck teamwork you should have hogged that ball. I respect thse parents who are clueless as all fuck. Y'all fucking yet? They're gonna make you kids fight to the death. I do not trust Anime Teen Steve Jobs. I don't know anything about soccer but I don't think this is normal. Boys you cheese it now. Are these real soccer guys? Kids this is a cult you need to run. Lotta crazy eyes in this room. Found the obvious fanservice bait. So this is like, approved by the legit national sports league and not just some random weirdo raising a cult? And then they killed each other. Well now he's never gonna be your boyfriend. This show is gonna be a real uphill battle for me to have fun here. We could be watching SK8 The Infinity right now. Revengers- Another scorcher! I already kinda hate this guy. And then he got isekai'd. Jesus your life sucks maybe you should just let it happen. Did we get time warped? Y'know what I'd rather just get hit by the train if the alternative is reliving middle school. Kids is dumb. This makes me miss the Body Improvement Club. Kids is real dumb. They go to another school, you could just leave. I'd be begging for train death at this point. Don't worry girl he just got a severe concussion from that beatdown. In a surprise twist, he's crazier than everyone else. This nerd is literally taking notes he is gonna get his ass beat on a daily basis. You don't know your girlfriend's sibling? Maybe you're just having a stroke brought on by the damage from all the head injuries. Hey kid wanna have an existential crisis? So is this just Erased without the cool milf? What a surprise, it's that kid. So we have to constantly go back in time to save the cute girl from dying, never heard that one before. I've seen Stein's Gate we're gonna need a microwave, an old pager, and all the bananas we can carry if we're gonna pull this off. One Piece- Pekoms no! What the fuck fruit is that. I fully support the choice to look at that man and decide to dub him as aggressively Italian-American. Goddammit you two should have just stayed put. You should shoot Caesar anyway. I love Robin so much. Man why are y'all being so tense when we're holding you hostage. I could go for some tea. WHAT. 35th daughter, no wonder they call her Big Mom. Fun story, manga readers spent years guessing every blond guy was secretly Sabo until the last arc and then immediately started guessing every blond guy was secretly Sanji's brother. Congrats on the wedding! Goddammit Brook not now. Previously like 500 episodes ago, this. Thanks for the geography lesson, narrator. Ah shit we've been bamboozled. You should at least let her kill Caesar. Surprise quicksand! What is with your tongue, dude. Well that can't be good.

I have never felt more represented by a character than Lemon in my life. Bleach- I blacked out in a blind rage after spending three months of the manga on this hand fight so I genuinely have no memory of how the rest of this arc goes. Yeah sure the Revolutionary War stripper will take them all out. It's fine, Captain Chesthair's got this. I know this was written way before Squid Game but that damn animatronic has permanently tainted my knowledge of Red Light Green Light. This sounds like some bullshit. I hope Momo gets stabbed one more time. I bet he'll get tired of shooting you before you get tired of being shot. Oh, this got dumber. I hope somebody's taking notes on the 87 highly specific rules about when he's allowed to open both eyes. Man what is that form. I respect that Captain Chesthair gives zero shits. Meanwhile Pigfuck Aizen continues to live purely to spite me. Oh hey, he's gonna do a thing. YOYOI. His design gets progressively stupider throughout the fight. I've turned the sky to piss, the ball's in your court. His bankai is an amateur community theater performance, tremble in fear. Hellooooo big titty sword waifu. He has absolutely fucked that sword before. Exorcist- Yukio fucking sucks. Yeah but at least Mephisto's fun with his horrifying human experimentation. Fuuuuck oooooff. We should just let Yukio fail and die however this is gonna happen. I liked that guy better as a hamster. My brand! You here to pay some fucking child support already, you deadbeat cunt? Gee I can't believe this demon asshole is an asshole. Eat a dick, Shima. And then Rin blew up. Fuck off and be a hamster again. He's gonna die ya dumbass, what else do you think would happen? Uh kids I don't think Rin's okay there. You get to come back to life but your dick is fully out. You're gonna have to put your friend down like Ol' Yeller. Oh what now is Shiemi part plant demon or some shit. Me vs my dark impulses to eat a bag of shredded cheese at 3am. That was anticlimactically quick. Mephisto must be in a really good mood if he let you sleep in his waifu bed. Well kid, sometimes when an aggressively stupid woman fucks the devil...Excuse me, is that a land shark? Mashle- Pocket sand! Fuck off, dude. I love my idiot kids. That melon ain't right. They're all so fucking stupid I love them. Dumbledore's earned a vacation after all that. Some may call him the greatest magic user, but I call him a raging back of dicks. Look kids we're probably gonna die so we might as well party now. I'd follow this boy into hell, zero questions asked. Oh fuck we have to study? I genuinely love how Mash's dad and that large man are just friends now. Oh no our boy's fucked. Goddammit Mash! Reverse ostrich. Plan B: befriend the moles. Dot cracks me up. He's trying his best dammit! And that's how Mash died. HE DID IT! I love these idiots so much. Fuuuuuuck ooooooooff. Lemon continues to be my spirit animal. These two are sharing half of a brain cell and it's doing its best. Ohhhh now you done fucked up. Lemon is the best. Who the fuck are you?! This means you're married. Your prison spell sucks, dude. YEET. Dumbledore says fuck off. You can do it kiddo I believe in you. One Piece- I'm sure that full moon thing won't be important later. FAT GATOR. Oh right, where's Sanji. In song form! Sanji would never leave willingly while Nami's wearing that outfit. Goddammit Zoro! Oh right, Big Mom was there. It's Pekoms, the weird turtle-lion thing. Sanji's allowed to be cool for approximately three minutes per month and he's using that time sparingly. Nami and Wanda are never beating the married allegations. Calm down Sanji we don't have enough blood for this. I completely forgot Momo existed. No one's beating the furry allegations in this arc. Brook's life is suffering...although he doesn't have a life YOHOHOHO. Awww Pekoms. I vote you give them Caesar and also stab him. He wasted all their money on blackjack and hookers. Do not trust Caesar to help. Can we trade Caesar for Pekoms please? Pekoms is a good dude...turtle...thing. NOOOO PEKOMS.

How is my night being bookended by two different horrible science clowns?! Bleach- Let's all point and laugh at Renji. Yes Kenny please kill that thing. That arm was just holding you back. Oh no it's time for what was by far my most hated fight in the manga. Well that's new. Kenny you murder that science clown and I will suck your dick right now. GODDAMMIT CLOWN. That terrifying baby sword is more fucked up than I remembered. What the fuck am I watching. "I only stabbed you for your own good" is a hell of a take. I'm not lucky enough to have these two kill each other immediately. I am absolutely not drunk enough for this. Sure why the fuck not. I understand less about this soul king fucker ever week. How does it talk. I want to point out that Science Clown vs Disembodied Hand shenanigans took three fucking months in the manga and my mental health has never recovered. Meanwhile, the quincy redshirts are real fucking stupid. Mayuri can't be assed to explain shit because Kubo couldn't think of anything. The FUCK is that. Mayuri's body is a horrifying mess of contradictions and I hate it. It's a hydra of hands. I can't drink fast enough to tolerate this! Y'all are gonna wanna run. Oh jesus christ the sword is a giant fetus now. THANKS I HATE IT. I could have lived my entire life without seeing a giant zombie Buddha give birth via c-section to a horrific screeching cannibal baby. I hated this. Exorcist- Fuck off Lightning Mcqueen. Dullahan, you mean Celty? Mephisto's run outta shits to give. Did his stupid ahoge get bigger? In a surprise twist, Yukio fucking sucks. You can tell this is serious because Shura covered her boobs. Yeah this conference is gonna go great. You deserved it, Shima. My brand! I don't care about the kids I'm just rooting for Mephisto to have a good time. GODDAMMIT YUKIO. No, let this dumb bastard go to jail. The guy that looks like a clown. Great job Yukio you kickstarted the apocalypse. Let Mephisto rest in bed with his waifu merch, he'll be fine. I don't care about the humans at the North Pole just make sure all the polar bears up there are safe. Goddamn Mephisto was really doing the whole world a solid wasn't he. Sorry Rin we gotta put your dipshit brother down like Ol' Yeller. Oh joy another rescue arc, groundbreaking. Maybe your idiot brother wouldn't be in this situation if he wasn't so rockfuck stupid. Who the fuck are you?! Kill the little bastard, see if I care. Satan get the fuck out of here if you're not gonna pay that child support. This is dumb. Why the fuck would you let him have ANOTHER gun!? Mashle- My blood pressure desperately needs something fun after the past hour. Harry Potter would have been a lot shorter if someone would have just tried beating the shit out of Voldemort. He's flying again. Compensating for something with that giant broom there, buddy? Fuck off that's my good boy son! Piss off, this boy never saw a magic he couldn't punch. Uh Mash you may not wanna punch this magic. BEAT HIS ASS, MY BOY. Grab his dick and twist it! You suck, evil wizard guy. We don't deserve Mash. I'm counting this as a win for us. Oh that's a big ol' fucker for y'all to fight. Run Mash run! Za Warudo, off! Siscon powers, activate. Me too Dot. Well kiddo the important thing is you tried. Why bother killing everyone via monster when they could just kill themselves via stampede. Priorities, Lemon! MY BOY. I hope y'all feel like shit now. Goddamit idiots just learn the lesson! YES THEY LEARNED THE LESSON! Everyone's heart grew three sizes that day. Awwww. Now get that boy some cream puffs. I love Lemon so much. One Piece- Chopper's got PTSD. Fucking Caesar again! We should totally just stab Caesar. Kill him Sanji and I'll suck your dick right now. Not now, elephant! I enjoy seeing Caesar suffer. Chopper is a good boy. FAT GATOR. Alright Caesar helped, now kill him. Well this is fucked up. Furry alert. And that's how Nami got a girlfriend. You can't catch me, furry thoughts! Chopper's really going through it. And that's how Chopper got a girlfriend. I hope they executed Caesar immediately after he finished helping. I'm not happy with the amount of science murder clowns I've seen tonight. Aww I'm glad that little kid's okay. BEAR. Fuck yeah, stew! Hey we know that song. Those two are practically fucking in front of the group. "You can't fight that dead guy" says the literal walking skeleton. Let's go see the giant cat!

I blacked out in rage every time I remembered that this fight took three fucking months in the manga that I completely blocked out the giant zombie Buddha giving birth via c-section to a horrifying screeching cannibal caterpillar baby so that hit me like a sack of wet laundry. Thanks, Bleach!

One day I'll finally sit down and watch Primal I swear. Bleach- Ishida really lucked out considering how stupid every other quincy's name is. Why the fuck are you quincy shits even here if you're not gonna help? Ah dammit which of you was responsible for watching the science murder clown. God I love Kenny. And Hanataro is there because he's a character we recognize. Orihime's tits are about to bounce up and give her a black eye. Yesss Grimmjow kill that hideous man. That shirt is limiting your power, take it off. And then my boyfriend blew up. Revolutionary War Stripper can go ahead and shoot some of the annoying characters. Oh yeah don't worry, fucking Renji's got this. Oh good, he looks even dumber than he used to. Remember the time both of you sucked so bad against the science murder pervert that you had to get bailed out by the science murder clown? That's a lot of monkey's paws. I can 100% believe that Renji only needs 20 seconds to finish. Gloworm Mayuri is the gift that keeps on giving. Yes let Kenpachi kill people. Piss off, Pigfuck Aizen. Renji failed, surprising no one. Big talk for a guy who only fights people who don't want to kill him. Exorcist- I hate it when demons destroy my windshield. Oh right, this entire season started with some regular school guy seeing demons didn't it. "So hey your brother almost shot me in the face" is a hard conversation to have. Oh good that thing's got a giant laser eye. That's a goddamn pokemon. Once again the day is saved thanks to Shura's boobs. Hey buddy, what's up with trying to shoot your students in the face? Lightning Mcqueen is less than helpful here. Fuck off, Shima. Is this the best time to be arresting a dude in the middle of a fight? You're going to jail, Mcqueen. Sorry kid your brother's a bitch and I hope he has a bad time. That flash drive better be full of porn. Priest dad, still too cool for this show. Hey, bitch stole my laptop! Boy your mom fucked the goddamn devil, there was never a mystery there. Oh okay, so you were always a little bitch. Shiemi's always been dumb as rocks. Girl this is gonna end with you getting strangled in the bushes. Yukio fucking sucks. Show we all know you're not gonna kill him for real, what are we doing here. Hi dad I hope you're here to pay some fucking child support. Mashle- We can all admit that Adam Jobs is a hilariously bland name for a wizard. I love a good fourth-wall break. Your sidekick broke, sorry. Give that boy more cream puffs. Mash is a good boy and we don't deserve him. I'm pretty sure that man has permanent brain damage, I don't think you're getting anything out of him. Beat his ass, Dumbledore! ZA WARUDO! I am very concerned about Dumbledore's odds here. Well shit, hope you didn't need that arm. Did your parents also sacrifice your organs to the devil so you could go to magic academy? Oh hell yeah I am here for capybara facts. Subscribe for more animal facts. SPACE FIST, GO. Voldemort casts some bullshit. RIP Dimestore Dumbledore, you were a real one. This gives me the same vibe as Netero taking himself out with a nuke to beat the chimera ants. Okay but that kid loves his sister a little too much so you can ignore him. I'm choosing to believe Mash's dad and that large man are just married at this point. GODDAMIT JUST DIE. Time for a good boy! Avada Deez Nuts. One Piece- I love this cat. I'd just give up and put whoever I hated most in a ninja costume to hand over. Sorry, this man is too ugly to die. Bear! Can y'all not just tell that elephant to haul ass and run? In conclusion, fuck that guy. GODDAMN FUCKING CAESAR. Console your furry girlfriend, Nami. Oh, that's fucked up. Oh, that's fucked up. Well, thank god he's dead. Fuck off, Caesar. I enjoy seeing Caesar suffer. Fat gator! Hillbilly man still cracks me up. I like when Brook gets to do cool things. "Fellas this is some fucked up shit we just walked in on." Fuck you, Caesar. Remember, this is a family show.