EmpressAngel

So Avdol's dad looks just like a palette swap of him only he doesn't wear pants. It's not my ideal situation but heeey old man how you doin?

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION

On the one hand, Ryo is the worst and his stupid bowl cut hairstyle makes me angry. On the other hand, I would also probably do terrible, unforgivable things for that dick. Seriously, that thing's a work of art. I'd have it painted on the Sistine Chapel.

Nope, just you. From what I've seen on Twitter and Tumblr, most everyone seems to be happy to see Dandy again.

Reminder that they wouldn't need to take a detour to get an extra person if someone hadn't gotten Avdol shot in the damn face. #stillsalty

The alternative is so much funnier, since most stand babies probably aren't super geniuses and wouldn't have perfect control over their power. Avdol's family must have had the fire department on speed dial for the first couple years of his life. Black Clover- Devilman Crybaby may have broken my ability to feel joy but this show proves that I can still feel unrelenting hatred. The most realistic part of this show is that everyone hates him. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Yes we get it he wants to be Magic Hokage you don't have to mention it when every single character sees him. Grimer, I choose you! This guy looks like a douche. Douche confirmed. Wow shocking how that plan went awry. Dimestore Griffith is impressed. I like how this girl doesn't give enough of a fuck to even wake up. Of course everyone wants the guy who actually has talent. These just sound like teams from Legends of the Hidden Temple. I am getting annoyed with Marilyn Manson's random mumbling. Please no one pick him, crush his spirit right here. I'm sure this is a fakeout but hey it looks like watching him suffer makes me happy after all. It turns out that when all you can do is swing a sword really well, you're not cut out for things that don't involve swinging a sword. Insult him more, it's like a late Christmas present. Maybe people would like you more if you were capable of shutting the fuck up. Oh this is some bullshit. Way to ruin a moment, dipshit. I'm rooting for the lizard here. Bye lizard. I would give anything to not have to hear about his shitting issues. I hope that's a portal to hell. I do like seeing him blow up. Jojo- I can't wait to see Kakyoin beat the crap out of a baby. At least the sky is pretty out there. I hope his mom is doing okay. Shut up Polnareff you licked a toilet you don't get to have an opinion. Baby if you kill everyone you probably can't get out of the desert. I'll eat your baby food Joseph. THE SCORPION IS A STA- false alarm not a stand. Meanwhile, Polnareff being a dumbass. Kakyoin is having a bad night. Dad Joseph is adorable. Kakyoin that just makes you lookeven crazier. Great job you're getting outsmarted by an infant. Whelp now you're all gonna die. Eww gross. First you knock him out and then you call him fat, you dick. OH NO. JOSEPH NO YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT. What, you just rolled with the monkey having a stand but this is too hard to believe? THE HAIR IS A STAND. This could be going better. Please start with Polnareff and give the others time to escape. Now punch that baby! Well hey at least someone's having fun here. Hey wait didn't Kakyoin summon his stand before y'all knocked him out? TENTACLE ATTACK. If he were my type that line would work on me. Kill that baby Kakyoin. Shut up Polnareff you dumb bastard. You really think none of these guys would punch a baby? Well shit that's not good. SUCK IT, BABY. Is that how he mind-fucked that nurse? Those pancakes look good. Polnareff doesn't deserve pancakes. Ewww. Nah I'd just leave the baby for dead. Kakyoin oh my god. DADSEPH NO. We wouldn't need a new guy if someone hadn't gotten Avdol shot in the face. Gundam- This fight may have been a bad idea. Your mask is stupid and you're stupid. You are not able to defeat it and you will die trying. Shut up Fuck E Cheese. And then this was Eva. Dude I'm not gonna remember any of this story. So basically you're saying everything is screwed. Yeah you might wanna get everyone out of town before hte murderbot arrives. No you should definitely leave or you're going to die. You idiots. Mika continues to give no fucks. Now take off that shirt and be my quasi-jailbait eyecandy again. No let the creepy child fucker pilot that thing I want him to suffer. Whelp you're fucked. Do not trust him he's just here to bang second graders. At least one of these kids is going to die. Get off his dick boy just let him do his thing. This is not going to end well for you, buddy. Really should have made those idiots evacuate. And then everybody blew up. The armor can't handle it and he's going to die. Whelp there goes the town. Instead of torturing the small children why doesn't this show just kill off Hitler already. Oh hi Mika. Yes both of the Geass boys can fight to the death. Hunter- I could give you names but they'd probably involve the fuck word. The bloodthirsty Amish are a strange group. I get the feeling Hisoka is already here, creeping on small children. The hunter girl whose name I forgot a long time ago is cute I hope she comes out of this okay. Alright so we got Thundercat, Titscorpion, Professor Penguin, and Flying Buzzkill. And now there's Karma Chameleon. Oh that sounds creepy and bad. I'm too lazy to think of more names for Shrektaur's minions here. Wait they're Amish why do they have computers. Got it, it's the hidden porn room. You can take the underwire out of my bra when you pry it from my cold dead tits. Those seem like some excessive restrictions. I'm pretty sure Hisoka would hide a phone up his ass just for the experience. Killua just get on the horse like a normal person. Okay you'd think the country would want help with their murder monster problem. MAFIA KOALA I LOVE HIM. Meatballs are pretty great. Thanks, Karma Chameleon. Oh come on that kid wouldn't even make an appetizer. Mmm, fresh baby. A koala in a suit with a gun is hilarious. Oh no I got a bad feeling about this. JOESTAR TECHNIQUE, GO. Thank you arrow guy whose name I forgot. Shrektaur is going to kill all of you. Lupin- Oh right, Da Vinci was here. I got a bad feeling about this. I would not visit that exhibition. I like these dumb jerks. That is exactly how I feel when someone gets on the intercom at work. Oh this is gonna be a mindfuck isn't it. I'd definitely pick Fujiko first. Fuji's ability is that incredible rack. I hope somebody's special skill is just getting fed up and punching him in his pretentious Renissance balls. Yeah it is strange for Zeni not to be 20 feet away. A dream you say, LALLY HO. Yeah sure let's just assume that makes sense. Man you could steal so much loot right now. Jigen could be doing better. It's not the size it's how you use it, Leo. Fuji you should have worn a shirt that shows more cleavage. AIM FOR THE BALLS, JIGEN. Sorry Da Vinci, he's got better echolocation. AIM FOR THE BALLS, GOEMON. That was too easy for Fuji. Zeni did good. God I love her. I am way too dumb to figure this plot out for myself. Goddammit Rebecca. Dude if you wanted a clone orgy for yourself there were easier ways to get it. Be careful with that thing or you're gonna put everyone in a coma. Great job you failed. Go fuck your wife, Lupin. I never realized Leonardo Da Vinci was such a bag of dicks.

Y'know what, I'm genuinely happy for you. I wish I had so few problems going on in my life that I had the energy to give a shit how many times I've seen a specific episode of a show I don't even like.

Finished it. My soul hurts, my brain hurts, and I cried through the last two episodes straight. Thank god for these random yet desperately needed capybaras.

I'm halfway through it and I've learned to stay away from drug orgy raves in abandoned warehouses and also that boy's dick is ridiculous. 10/10 so far.

That would be my guess. Just too many nipples to handle.

All I know about that show is that one of the characters was playing Disney Tsum Tsum in a random scene and that amuses me. What kind of amateur shit player uses Sebastian as their MyTsum though. Have some self respect for god's sake.

Mother of god, the filler is still going? Clover- That's a lot of money for a rock. I envy all those people who don't have to hear you anymore. That sounds horrible. You will absolutely let them down and are also an embarassment. WHY DO YOU NEVER STOP SCREAMING YOU DIPSHIT. I hope the birds shit all over him. They're trying to kill you because they hate you and they're right. Please rip his throat out. Why is Marilyn Manson here? No go back and kill him please. His hair is stupid. Who let the Gundam crew name these characters? I wish I could just sleep through this show. I am never gonna remember who any of these people are. Crush them, trees. Is the entrance exam a game of quidditch? I sincerely hope none of these captains hate themselves enough to pick him. This is just sad to watch. That just sounds like advice for gay sex. I don't think you're supposed to talk to the princess like that, dude. Stop screaming you jackass. IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-DUEL. I don't trust this guy at all. Thank you for saying what we're all thinking, dude. So he doesn't have magic except for the times where he totally has magic or some shit? Jojo- When did Kakyoin get so much cleavage? Babies are indeed terrifying. Oh hi doggie. Well that seems ominous. DOGGIE NO. Why would any of you get in a plane with Joseph? Hey I bet the sexy fortune teller would have had a lot of valuable insight about weird dreams but someone got him shot in the fucking face. Oh no dog, now you definitely have to kill the enemy. HEY HEY HEY HEY. I don't trust that baby. I would absolutely rather let that baby die. Have you seen these men, they're twice the size of regular people. Yeah that's not suspicious at all. Well now you're both fucked. Polnareff you stupid bastard. We've got a combination of dream murder, evil clowns, and asshole children here that is the ultimate horror. At least Poolnoodle will die first. Goddammit Joseph why dd you wake him up. Haaa, they blurred the shit. I do enjoy the random and gratuitous French. Do not give babies to Polnareff. I like Joseph's cool shades. STOP FLYING WITH JOSEPH, GUYS. You're gonna have to fight a baby, Kakyoin. Oh christ that is an excessive amount of eyes. Well this could be going better. Oh fuck the eyes have spider legs. Never trust a baby. I like those apples, Joseph. GODDAMMIT JOSEPH THERE'S A TREE. Kakyoin's about to have a nervous breakdown. Okay Joseph playing daddy is adorable and I'm into it. Eat shit, baby! The running tally of things with stronger spirits than Holly Kujo include a monkey sex offender, Steely Dan, and an actual baby. Gundam- I don't even remember what's going on in this show. I like that one wife where's she been lately. Sometimes you can't get off without seeing a certain color, we all have our weird fetishes. He is literally twice her size how do they bang without killing her? Yeah this sounds like it'll all go just great. I don't think "deviant" is a strong enough word for a dude who's trying to nail a kid who had her last birthday at Chuck E Cheese. I don't care who does it I just hope somebody takes down the child-fucker. I got a bad feeling about that. HOOKERS, AHOY. Y'all enjoy writing shitty poetry or something meanwhile the rest of them are gonna go get their dicks sucked. Oh my god get off his dick, kid. How nice to name such a good thing after the woman who lied to her for years so she could have her murdered right up until she died. Kids is dumb, lady. They banged. Someone please shoot him. I have already lost track of this conversation. Yeah you probably should have brought the other robots anyway. You're wrong his main interest is banging someone half his age without going to jail for it. That was probably not supposed to happen. Hunter- Ohh this is not gonna go well for anyone. I have a terrible feeling that bug spray and a magnifying glass won't help you at all here. That is way too many ants. You kids are hunters don't you have special internet privileges? I think they'd react by dying in horrifying amounts. This guy is just Killer Croc dressed as a high school wrestler. Oh no that one's a penguin. OH COME ON SHOW THAT'S NOT EVEN FAIR. Kill them all, sad lady. FUCK YEAH, GUNS. Aw crap turtles beat guns. All these side characters are going to die. Well that complicates things a bit. Man, the Amish are more violent than I expected. Oh hey I remember these two. Surprisingly helpful BEES. Buddy I know they're adorable children but you'd be surprised how much violence they can take. Ohhh that better not be some horrible foreshadowing, show. I probably shouldn't like this evil penguin monster as much as I do. Scratch that, hot scorpion lady is the best. That is a lot of dead humans. Do whatever you want, she doesn't give a shit. Uhh I'd guess you have a lot of human tissue in you and not in a fun way. THIS BETTER NOT BE SOME HORRIBLE FORESHADOWING, SHOW. Ging is a dick and has no right to be disappointed in the son he goddamn abandoned. Lupin- I'm glad she's doing well. Aw crap what are you up to now? Butler doesn't get paid enough for this. I'm pretty sure what he's up to is stealing boatloads of money. Sorry Rebecca but rompers as a fashion trend need to die. I like how he's just a reverse Alfred. Dude even if that's not the money you want you shoul at least take enough to make it worth the effort. Aw shit it's a booby trap. I do like her bunny phone. Y'all know you could just fuck, right? HI FUJIKO you could ride with me any day. Oh you don't have to steal anyone they'll go willingly. Rebecca what the hell kind of plan is this? You guys are gonna need a bunch of Febreeze. Oh my god you idiots, just hire a maid. Just fuck already. Lupin's not himself if he's not desperately chasing after Fuji's rack. Maybe call that guy who made the Slutty Hog wine and ask for some advice. You might wanna take those heels off before you make a break for it. Girl you are actually exhausting I can't blame him for not taking the bait. Oh shit that's a rocket launcher. Robsen needs a raise and a vacation. Goddammit Fuji that's so unnecessarily petty. Your boss orders you to drink and drive.

Do you live in a past where Avdol's still alive and Black Clover's not on, and if so can I join you?

Okay if this dude is going into the project thinking One Piece is a drama, he's already failed. East Blue starts with Mr. Fantastic's idiot nephew popping out of a barrel and punching a villainous fat woman across the ocean, for fuck's sake.

What in the actual hell are you talking about? The closest thing to manservice OP has is the occasional shirtless dude and also Franky in his speedo, which isn't really ever presented as sexy.

Fixed that for you. How many bad jokes about sitting on Santa's lap can I think of at once?

Clover- PINNOCHIO NO. It's been two episodes and we're already in filler how the fuck is that even possible. Now that's a sword. "Clover Kingdom" just sounds like a setting in My Little Pony. Hey you'd probably have more energy if you shut the hell up. That bird is the best character. You're not Saitama you can't just brute force your way through all the tests. Gandalf gives no fucks. Uh I think the problem here is that the boy literally has no magic to do the magic SATs. Best case scenario he dies painfully because, again, he literally has no goddamn magic. Jesus Christ he doesn't even shut up in his sleep. Kick his ass, small child. My dream is for you to please, for the love of god, just shut the fuck up for five minutes and also Avdol comes back to life. Why would any of you miss him, do you just hate peace and quiet? LEAVE THAT NUN THE FUCK ALONE, YOU ASSHOLE. Okay I kinda hope he gets in just so he'll stay away and stop harassing that poor woman. I fucking hate this kid. The boar that almost gored him was the best character. That was only 30 minutes but felt like 14 hours of my life have passed. Jojo- What did you idiots get yourselves into now? I enjoy how many problems in this show are solved by Joseph being unfathomably rich. How does Polnareff's hair even work? That is a nice car. Stop letting the dumbest one in the gang drive. What's a cessna--oh it's a plane. DO NOT GET ON A PLANE WITH JOSEPH. I'll watch your magic, grandpa. Huh, that was a genius move with the car. You could say Jojo is quite...bizarre. Animals hate Polnareff. You can demonstrate the proper way to mount m--nope can't finish that with a straight face. Joseph is not doing the best job at this. Well now you just look like a whore. Avdol probably knew how to ride a camel but nooo one of you had to get him shot in the goddamn face. Like hell you can forbid me from making stupid jokes. I got a bad feeling about this. Aw crap it's invisible isn't it. Go to bed, sun. THE SUN IS A STAND. Avdol probably would have been fine in this heat. I have no idea how hot that is in American. Y'know I'm sure the fact that half the gang is wearing full-coverage wool uniforms isn't helping at all. NO NOT THE CAMELS. And then Kakyoin got them all killed. Splats to the rescue. Whelp there goes your water. Joseph your best technique is running away while screaming. And then everyone lost their goddamn minds. This is the first and only time in his life that Jotaro's laughed, let him have this. I'm not following. Is this another goddamn mirror again? Okay but you have no water and your camels are dead. ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT'S SO DUMB I LOVE IT. Gundam- Fuck off, guy. I don't think we really needed two pretentious dudes in masks in one season, show. I have no memory of ever seeing this kid before. Piss off, young Dandy. I guess trauma can put you in the mood to rip off your shirt and start punching with robots. I'm gonna miss those wives when they go home. Thanks, crazy old man. That doesn't sound suspicious at all, you guys. Hi harem man how's your hot main wife. Your coat is stupid, guy I don't know. Please don't kill harem man I like him. Okay if he dies I volunteer to inherit the wives. She is a woman, you dumbass. And also the goodness of his dick, I assume. I love main wife. I have no idea if this orphan farm subplot is new or I just forgot about it. Get off his dick, noob. These girls are really pulling for that harem ending. I guess it makes sense that the only two adults on the team hooked up. Getting laid is a good incentive to wash your filthyy ass. No kid you're like seven you shouldn't be here. I got a bad feeling about this. Never trust a creepy man playing chess. Oh right didn't his boyfriend get turned into a mecha or something last season? I am real uncomfortable to know he's still engaged to the third grader. I'M OBJECTING TO THIS, YOU FUCKING CREEP. Wait so he's doing all this so that he can fuck a girl who still has all her baby teeth without getting judged or it? Hunter- This seems like it's gonna be even more horrifying than regular childbirth. That tiger is badass. These ants were once adorable little girls who got fused with their pets. The giant guy looks friendly I like him. Somehow the head of the assassin family is still the better father than Ging. Oh hey we get two women in an arc at once, the show's just spoiling us. DOG. I feel like all these new people are gonna die. I'm waiting for Hisoka to pop out from behind a tree with a discomforting clown boner. Please just let the dog live. Hello cute bat thing. She is gonna eat somebody before the episode's over. Kids when two mutant monsters love each other very much, shit gets freaky. Big deal I can consume that much mac and cheese every day if I wanted. Not today, snake! Ohhh this random family is so screwed. Regular babies are terrifying enough, show. These kids are so dead. Isn't that the lobster asshole Saitama fought? Hi, nerds. Ha I forgot about bloodhound Gon. Aw fuck that's worse than the flying monkeys. I'd say call Ging for support but like hell is he gonna show up. Lupin- I thought that guy looked different. No better way to get a woman to love you than threatening to blow her right the hell up. Oh it's another movie. Bang your wife, Lupin. Jigen is the best. Hi Zeni. No not the sushi! Oh god he's a weeb. Rebecca gives no fucks. Damn sheep! Whelp there goes the key. He means don't shoot him in the dick. At least Zeni gets some sushi. Jigen's having a good time. Meanwhile Zeni's having the worst day. I like when they team up. His plan is to use you as a human shield. They'd be good partners if they weren't fighting. I choose to believe that was his plan the whole time. Oh right, he tied up the train. If only that guy wasn't so fat. This went off surprisingly well. The real OTP. What kind of wizard shit is that, Lupin. And now you have a wife that won't fuck you and steals all your stuff. Oh god, sexy actor Zeni. That is a great dress. That was nice but wasn't Da Vinci about to take over the world?

Last Christmas I didn't get to enjoy a character with a literal giant cock as a power and they are just wasting this opportunity. Just watch, I'm not gonna get a Jojo marathon until we hit a holiday that I can't make dick puns out of.

Here's Joseph's Japanese voice doing an ad for a steam-powered fleshlight. I'm counting it.

Every holiday I hope for a Jojo marathon so I can make horrible jokes about yule logs and stocking stuffers and every time i'm disappointed.

I have very vague memories of this show.

Well hamon does do a good job of healing... Clover- I guess if you wish really really hard, the devil will take pity on you and give you magical powers. Okay I just saw a hot witch with giant boobs in the OP this show might just be watchable. And the show immediately punishes me for that optimism with an entire episode of flashback. And thus began his undying dream to become Wizard Hokage. Oh my god stop saying "Wizard King" in every single sentence. Kid just shutting the fuck up for ten goddamn minutes would improve all of their lives dramatically. Is his ultimate quest to fuck an unwilling nun supposed to make us like him? Please for the love of god shut up. Oh no we're out of potatoes. I'm not drunk enough for this either, sir. I guess it's time to mug an orphan now. Man nothing keeps me entertained like an entire episode of flashback where I know all of the important characters end up fine. Dude why are you standing here gloating over a small child just take the necklace and go. I do enjoy seeing him get punched in the face. I like that not even the characters give a shit about this show. Oh right, there was something else happening in this episode. So then he does have magic after all? Your magic is bad and you should feel bad. Good, love your book, maybe you can fuck it instead and leave that poor nun alone. Jojo- I like the Jojo Bridge. Fuck you, Steely Dan. Joseph is having a bad day. Sorry everybody, grandpa's just senile. I do enjoy Pol's random bits of gratuitous French. Joseph can you not just use hamon on it immediately? Quick, stab it in the face! Oh crap. Don't worry Polnareff you don't need those organs. Well now Joseph doesn't know math anymore. Jotaro is going to enjoy this inevitable murder. Aw shit it's multiplying. Shut up nobody's impressed with your speech. Hey Kakyoin maybe you shoudn't be throwing dozens of projectiles around in Joseph's brain. DON'T KILL JOSEPH HE'S ALL I HAVE LEFT. If only Avdol were here he could just set them all on fire. Dude have you looked at Jotaro he doesn't need to throw jewelry at women. Oh you dick. Okay I'd dddefinitely just use my stand against civillians here. Man, Jotaro can take a real pounding. I'm also very excited to see him finally punch him. Jojo's got a real murder boner here. EAT SHIT, ASSHOLE. Please leave Joseph alone. I feel like he could have killed off the fleshbud earlier and saved some trouble. Quick, smash it! KICK HIS ASS JOTARO. Star Platinum says no. Stomp him in the dick for that bridge thing. You piece of shit. You think he won't punch a small child? Thank you Kakyoin. Now this is satisfying. Goddamn he's cool. Gundam- Still don't trust Geass, guys. I'm pretty sure he's motivated just by a desire to fuck everyone over. Oh hey that guy's alright. Oh hey that one kid survived. Congratulations girl you just inherited his shit. Oh right I guess that explains their names. Whelp y'all fucked up on that. Mika just wanted to play on that slide and you're here bumming him out. "One day Mika snapped and killed some dudes and it was awesome." Oh lady, you're terrible. Hey did he also teach you about using sixth graders as human shields? He's totally not talking about himself. Fuck off, Hitler. Those child soldiers really impressed him. That sure sounds great and also suspicious as fuck. That's disappointing they didn't even get to see the hookers. It's nice that he stopped being such a self-important dick. Don't screw over the harem. Maybe get this boy some therapy while you're at it. Bang his emotional pain away. Hunter- My children are adorable. If that's Ging I'm gonna punch him. What in the shit. I am very confused and uncomfortable here. Was anybody actually expecting Gon's dad to be here for him. Fuck I hate bugs. Thanks, guy with the clown gun. I guess they know each other. I hope he adopted that baby fox that just got orphaned. Ging sure has spent a lot of time befriending a ton of people that weren't his own abandoned child. RIP fishie. You're not gonna convince me Ging is a good person, show. CAW. I guess he's some kind of dog whisperer then. Raise your kid, Ging. No you don't know Ging because he's been avoiding you for twelve goddamn years. You don't deserve to call him your kid, you asshole. "Thanks for beating my child!" Oh come on he could not have fucking planned all this. Well it does sound like a racist teenager playing X-box. God he is such a dick. Come on Gon there is no way he could have planned that you'd befriend the black sheep of the greatest family of assassins and bring him along through the game. Whatever shadowy thing is going on, I don't like it. Of course he's involved with weird shit like watching mutant animals fuck. This sounds ominous. This ED is relaxing. Lupin- Hiiiiii naked Fuji. Oh no. SAVE THOSE BOOBS. Get it Zeni. Seriously, whoever makes those masks is the real MVP of this franchise. Oh Fuji you beautiful bitch. Goemon what the fuck. That doesn't sound like Goemon. Who the hell are you? Wait what the fuck. WHO IS EVERYONE. This could be going better but I'md sure enjoying it. Oh my god you did not just say that to her. Wait that can't be Fuji she didn't murder you for that weight comment. Kick him in the dick. God I love her. Oh hey Jigen. Team up and save Lupin. This guy's a douche. I can't tell who's actually real in this episode and who's faking it. Check for tits. Never underestimate that rack. Guys how did you fall for that. Oh my god the fake was in the bathroom this is hilarious. Fuji how did you hide those boobs. Okay I'm pretty sure one guy isn't worth blowing up an entire damn bridge. Thanks, convenient Jigen. That miiiight be a little bit overkill. Haaaa he's bald. Hey don't cry, the bald thing works great for Saitama. Technically I think the mountain's named after her boobs.

God, this. I'm sure there were good reasons for this latest software switch, but there's a lot of little issues that really make it feel like we gave up more than we got.