EmpressAngel

HI QUEEN I MISSED YOU

Clover- I wish he'd fallen off the roof as a small child. Hey show I'm gonna stop you right there, I really don't give a damn about this kid's tragic backstory. I feel nothing here, traumatic flashback. Sorry cute girl but you suck. Y'all are gonna get your asses kicked. Is it too much to hope that they all just kill each other? Use Screaming Dipshit as a human shield. I don't think glasses douche wants to be your friend, Yuno. Well that's a goddamn creepy face. I can respect his decision to want the idiots to fuck off and leave him alone. Sorry dude your mom was a bitch. Kid I would trust exactly one of these people with anything stronger than a potato peeler. FRIENDSHIP. This show would be so much better if Yuno was the main character. At all costs, save that bird. Gee I wonder if they're gonna use the idiot with no magic power to sneak up on this guy that can sense magic power. Didn't need the diagram, we could have figured this out for ourselves. I think this guy wins the dick measuring contest. SURPRISE FLCL- Man these subs are tough to read on my screen. These lesbians are adorable. Any place called the Ham Center sounds delicious. Dude's really committed to finishing his ramen. Everyone knows there's no boning in space. HI HARUKO. Hey girl you got a big forehead, we can use that. I wish I'd spend high school in a lesbian Jenga club. Well now I want Dr Pepper. I am here for adorable rocket lesbians. Diabetes won't wait. Okay, subbed Tom cracks me up. Absolutely put sequins on that rocket. I live the pervert one taking upskirt shots of her friend. It's pretty! And then the meteor hit. Nooo not the rocket they worked so hard on that. That is an enemy stand. HI HARUKO, AGAIN. Choke her with food until she wakes up. Time for your giant forehead to fulfill its destiny. Ohhh that's a big ol' fucker there. Gotta borrow your forehead, kid. Haruko is beating shit up with a guitar, all is right in the world. Oh good they remade the rocket. Well the important thing is that you tried, kids. I still wanted Jojo but this is an acceptable replacement. Mind Game- This is interesting but damn I do not have the brain power to watch and comment at the same time. Y'know what I'll have to watch this in full later, my brain is not equipped to process this at midnight. Suprise Sub Jojo- I assume we're getting the dubbed version of everything next week so I'll do full comments then. This is even gayer and more beautiful than I ever could have hoped, and god do I want in the middle of that.

Oh hell no I better get my quasi-gay shenanigans with Avdol and Joseph.

Clover- That vagintacle monster should have eaten them. Dime-store Griffith is still shady as fuck. Shut up, douche. You're awfully high and mighty for a bitch who can't even aim. Don't fight, you're all terrible. STOP SCREAMING YOU DUMB BASTARD. Excuse you at least Yami is nice to look at. STOP SCREAMING YOU DUMB SHITS. Her plant magic is fun. I'm thinking the first one there is gonna be the one who's not running on foot. I hope they get lost and die. Escape while you can, bird! No bird don't help them they're awful. To be fair, Yami was probably hungover as shit at the time. This diamond guy looks like a douchebag. Wizard King gives no shits about his job. Maybe they'll kill each other and I'll have less people to annoy me. LIGHTNING BOOTS. Oh right, our terrible main characters. Please god be a trap. What in the fuck? God why can't Yami be here to kill everything. You suck, lightning boy. Good job kid you're fucked. Hey now that girl wasn't awful don't kill her. Oh good, another kid who looks insufferable. One of you just die already. Jojo- Oh hey Kakyoin. That's not funny, doctor. Man it's gonna suck if any of them die before Kakyoin sees them again. Show me around the city, Avdol. Do not let Polnareff use the bathroom alone. They blurred the shit. That seems like an uncomfortable way to poop. THE OUTLET IS A STAND. Noooo Joseph don't touch that! Surely that won't come back to bite him in the ass. Hiiii Mariah how you doin? Nah you won the magic manga battle pretty easily. Oh no what did that do to you? Ouuuuch his face. Oh, he's a magnet now. Thank god for Avdol. Calm your tits, Frenchy. Good morning, pantsless Joseph. I'm waiting for Joseph's magnet ass to summon Avdol's giant metal codpiece. This is gonna be a tough day for grandpa. Joseph is all our type, granny. RUN AWAY. Oh no don't get on that escalator. Gee maybe that weird unexplained power outlet in the middle of a rock in the desert was suspicious. Ohhh I'm into this. Joseph calm down it's like six inches away. Thank god for Avdol, again. I love these idiots. That is one lucky statue. Who cares about her face, look at that ass. Is it time for the return of TEQUILA JOSEPH? I like how his first thought is "THEY'RE EATING WITHOUT US" and not that they're being attacked. Sorry Joseph now you're gonna have to bang that old lady. Avdol is having a rough day. AVDOL NO. I volunteer to get between them and separate their pelvises. Ohhhhh this is gonna be FUN. Gundam- Aww that kid never got his whores. Crazy Mika is a hoot I love that kid. He's dead, Jim. No hard feelings lady but you're gonna have to die now. Whelp now Atra's never gonna get her harem ending. Sorry, child fucker doesn't know the meaning of stopping shit when it gets uncomortable. They both suck but I gotta root for the one who's not trying to bang a girl scout. No don't die for him. Man, who would have guesed that things would go so bad for these child soldiers? At all costs, save that hot redhead. Oh hey, the annoying girl's not dead yet. Orga needs a break. Sorry about your boyfriend, kiddo. People just died, you whiny bastard. I hope Atra makes it out of this alive, even if she doesn't get her threeway. Please get these kids some therapy if they survive. Shut up, Fuck E. Cheese. Please punch the pervert. Get off his dick, boy. Oh hey, she's awake. It's nice that there's exactly one decent person on their side. Well that dream sure went tits-up, didn't it? Pretty sure that's called PTSD, buddy. Welcome to space-Alabama, where relatives don't matter. Ohh that's a punch to the gut. No you can't, because most of you are going to die. Well this sure is depressing. Eat shit, fuckboy. Hunter- Thank you narrator we just heard him say that. He's trying leave him alone. Yes let's go with that it sounds cooler. Dude this is a boy who got his own hand blown off, he doesn't care about flaws. Well this could be going better. Please don't kill my son. I guess this counts as a tie? Haaa, tiny baseball Leorio and Kurapika. This is an adorable way to explain things. I'm so proud of him he should just forget about his shitty dad. Whelp you better end this in real time then. Aw crap energy is a harsh mistress. GON NO IT'S A TRAP. You know damn well he's not thinking anything right now. Child what the hell are you doing? Okay that's a new one. Never turn your back on my insane boy. Did...did he knock himself out? Well at least you tried. Killua you are putting a lot of faith in yourself to beat a guy you've never seen before. Now bring back the dogs. Bring out your spa stand, Bisky. YESSS SUPER BISKY GO. Don't waste your aura before the fight. Biscuit is your mom now. I hate Killua's creepy brother. Wow how dare you, he'd never abandon him. Don't you dare split up my kids. I will kick that man's ass myself. God that lady makes me uncomfortable. GOOD LUCK KIDS I BELIEVE IN YOU.

Aw crap I'm gonna have to start watching it again. Clover- Or the king could just handle this shit himself since he seems to be swimming in free time. God I wish I could be that drunk during this show. Holy shit I hate most of these people. That angry bird is by far the best character. I hope most of them die in this dungeon. So are all the kingdoms just named after playing cards then? I can respect how Yami gives absolutely no shits about his job. I want the sister fucker to die painfully and violently. The wizard king sees all but cannot be assed to lift a finger for anything. What kind of dumb fucks only bring one light with them? God you're terrible. Every time he makes that face I lose an hour of my life. On what the hell now. Waste that time it's not like you have a finite number of episodes to tell your story or anything. Please leave them to die. Shut the hell up nobody cares. Of fucking course there's a tentacle vagina monster. No you should have just let the vagintacle monster eat them. Hi, somewhat tolerable character. Jojo- Ouch that's gonna leave a scar. Good job you sliced up an innocent dude back there. Whelp you're fucked. Iggy is great and I love him. Thank god Avdol's the brains of this operation. Aim for his balls. WHELP YOU'RE DOUBLE FUCKED. And you said punching wouldn't work. Run away, generic fat man. Star's real strength is the fact that Jotaro is batshit crazy. Quick call Avdol to melt that thing down. Aw crap it's the cops. POLNAREFF YOU STUPID FUCK. Out of all of them, I'm most okay with Polnareff dying. Aw fuck he can use both stands. Throw Iggy at him, nobody ever sees that coming. Punch him in the balls! Don't let Star Platinum finger you. Well this could be going better. NO NOT HIS ABS. Whelp Joseph is gonna have to bang his way into a new descendant now. EAT SHIT, SWORD. You owe him a new belt. That's called blood loss, buddy. Oh no little kid don't touch that! If only Kakyoin was here, he would absolutely fight a child. Thanks Polnareff that bandaid is really gonna help. HI IGGY. Dude you did A LOT to deserve this cruel fate. OH NO COW. Meanwhile Jotaro is bleeding out here you stupid French bastard. It's fun to watch it suffer. I love Iggy. Thanks for the cultural lesson, narrator. HELLOOOOOOO LADY. Gundam- I have no faith in most of these kids getting out of here alive. I don't really care who wins as long as the child fucker dies. Do it for the promise of whores! Mika is gonna lose the rest of his limbs. Oh you are gonna die, girl. At least she knows that she sucks. Yeah sure this is gonna work out great for you. That's a big goddamn ship. Whelp y'all are gonna die. Wow what a shock the clearly evil guy screwed you over. Oh no, you are absolutely gonna die in a place like this. Joke's on you he's a creepy, creepy idiot. Oh hey that kid's not dead yet. I hope that wasn't your jackoff hand. You're not gonna hear anythig from him, because he's going to get you all killed. Oh what the fuck are you doing. I hope you can pilot that with just one arm. Do it for the promise of whores! So then it's a suicide mission good luck with that. There's no stronger battle cry that "RALLY AROUD BILE!" That man's just trying to get into his pants but unfortunately he's much too old. Well that's a lot of shit blowing up. Isn't this how Harem Man died? Are these two gonna make out? Ohhh you are just spitting in fate's mouth here, kid. Maybe let Atra get off the ship before you use it as a battering ram. Oh yeah get in front of him, you can definitely shield him from the giant ship bomb with your puny meat body. Well that was probably the least surprising death in the show. Hunter- Leave my kids alone you jackass. Christ Bisky, give them the spa stand again. Okay, SHOOT MCMAN is a great fucking name. Real inconspiculous there, buddy. Why are you crying you weirdo. I enjoy this guy and his unmanagable amount of dogs. Bisky is a harsh mistress. That lady is so goddamn creepy but at least she can cook. I am uncomfortable with her being around my children. HE'S SO CUTE OH MY GOD. Lady you stay the fuck away from my son. I'm cautiously optimistic that the hunters are doing well. Welcome to the Thunderdome, fuckers. This is going well you shut the hell up and don't jinx it. Y'all are running out of time to abort that demon fetus. That is still 14 squads too many. This fucking thing just kickstarted my period as a self-defense mechanism. Bisky is being surprisingly generous. This bitch scares me. I love these dogs. Aw crap another one's here. Where the fuck did you learn the violin!? You're gonna have to fix that wall, asshole. Why do you guys have such terrible names? GOOD LUCK KIDS I BELIEVE IN YOU. Aw crap this is about to go terribly wrong for the good guys. Don't talk about my sons like that. Whelp there goes Gon. Ooh them's fightin' words. Sacrifice the big jerk wearing the sunglasses at night.

Aw crap it's already Daylight Savings? Clover- I gotta agree with that boy, kids can't live off of potatoes alone. It's not a dick measuring contest. Don't trust that guy. Yep that was totally a random coincidence and not an obvious ploy by the shady douchewad. And off he goes, surfing on his broom for no reason. Not one of these assassins is competent at their job. How much of this show has not been filler? Just hit him in the face with the book. Oh hey, glasses douche is there too. I'm genuinely surprised that he's not that stupid. Oh hey, her power's actually pretty cool. So are y'all allowed to execute a noble? I'm finding it really hard to give a shit about any of this, show. It's nice to see that all her training in punching an unlikable dumbass has paid off. Thanks for putting an innocent woman in danger for your own amusement, your majesty. Please god no more potatoes. Don't trust Dimestore Griffin here. Whelp so much for this episode being tolerable. Jojo- AVDOL'S ALRIGHT I'M SO HAPPY. Did you get blinded in middle school too? "Remain vigilant" means don't let Polnareff go off alone. It's okay, Joseph is filthy rich. Aww the ladies love Iggy. Iggy is the best character. Shouldn't Avdol be giving this exposition about his own country? Hi cow! Oh hey he's cute. You probably shouldn't pick that up. This is some Sword in the Stone shit. Ouuuch I hope that wasn't your jerkoff hand. Congratulations you're the new king of Egypt. That doesn't look ominous at all. Whelp so much for your dad. I'm no sword expert but I don't think swords are supposed to work like that. Huh, well that's a different kind of stand. You can tell he's evil because he suddenly got ugly lipstick. At least the cow's okay. Do what you must but leave Avdol alone. Oh for fuck's sake, put one of those child leashes on that man. Iggy's here for his gum. THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE HIM ALONE. It's a good thing that Polnareff heals as fast as a hamon user. I do enjoy his gratuitous French. Dude he is definitely about to pop out of the ground now. And then SWORDGUN. Aww, I liked that guy. DON'T TOUCH IT YOU IDIOT. Iggy to the rescue. Thanks, narrator. Goddamn rats. Surely that's all over and the sword won't be a problem ever again. Iggy fucking hates that thing. Oh yeah that's a great idea, stop for a haircut before you turn in the dangerous murdersword. Can he make your eyebrows grow in? Even Jotaro dropped the ball here. Aw fuck he's gonna go Sweeney Todd on him. Gundam- You sure are saying a lot of words I don't really care about. Please leave that little girl alone. Mika's just here for the candy. I don't remember that fight at all, creep. Oh I guess that was when the one dude turned into a robot. That's no big deal, your child-fucking goals activate my bile too. That sounds like bullshit but I don't know enough about corrupt space militaries to refute it. Everything he's done has been to fuck your daughter before she hits the fourth grade. That hot mechanic girl is the only one here that I hope survives. It sounds like all these people have poor judgement. YESSS LITTLE GIRL STAB HIS DICK OFF. Please kill him, it makes my skin crawl to see them together. Child this is a bad idea. Hand's not good enough, aim for his balls. I sure hope that day in the distant future is when she's a goddamn adult. Someone get this little girl some therapy immediately. Aw crap what's wrong did he lose another limb. That sure is a paradox there, old elf man. Wow what a shock no one wants to help the creepy child fucker. I have no memory of ever seeing this accountant-looking dude before. I'm gonna suggest the therapist thing again, lady. Kid, Mika can take out 2/3 of them on his own. Sorry girl he only has eyes for his mecha boyfriend. THANK YOU FOR PUNCHING HIM. Every time you say "final battle" you dig a grave for another one of these kids. Yes if only you'd grown up as a child soldier instead of a wealthy and privileged diplomat. Awww. I wasn't expecting Atra to actually get her harem ending but good for her. Hunter- That is just an excessive amount of dead people. God, babies are terrifying. I like Bisky's training method of looking at porn and ignoring her students. Have mercy, Biscuit. UNLIMITED FIGHTS, GO. Hi puppy! Please don't hurt my children. Nah my kids are just that impressive. Don't yell at them you asshole! Why are you crying you giant baby? Aim for his dick. My son is so strong and talented. Oh no you scared the puppy. I think you got him, kiddo. Well that was easy. Gon's too nice to just take your scrabble piece and run. Sir that is a terrible outlook, those things are going to murder everyone. I LOVE THAT PUPPY. God she's creepy. Aw crap are they about to die? Welcome to TRONland. I'm glad they're making some progress with killing the murderbugs. I don't like what Meowmix is doing with Kite's dead body. That is too much math for me. Just let them wipe out your problem teams. That sounds good in theory but you're going to die. MORE DOGS I LOVE IT. I'm so proud of my kids they're doing their best. Oh, that must be the other guy. Hold up that's cheating.

Be cause I'm a pervert who wants to fuck the cartoon people. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Clover- Why are we recapping filler? Don't argue you're both god-awful. Your bike is as stupid as everything else in this show. That window was the best character. Great now you've fucked up that roof too. STOP LAUGHING LIKE THAT. You dumb bastard. Thank you, random thief. This is stupid. Wait, that gremlin is a lady? Oh, guess not. Oh hey it's the WIZARD KING. He actually seems tolerable, I'm surprised. What kind of alcoholic names their kid Mimosa? Dimestore Griffin is shady as fuck. I like that he's just surfing on the damn broom. No that's just how his face looks. That giant flying chariot is so unnecessary. Gee I wonder if those dark and ominous clouds are evil. Y'know you probably wouldn't have fallen if you'd been ridng your broom like a normal person. This definitely wasn't a setup by the rich douchewad nope no way. I like how that girl's cape is positioned to show off a boob. Tooootally not shady as fuck. It must be a nice break for the nun to not get harassed anymore. Spoke too soon, leave that nun alone. You condescending sacks of crap. Jojo- This little boy is straight out of Boondocks. Oh good they got them to a hospital. They seem fun. Who needs a stand when you have a frying pan. This kid's laugh is weird as hell I like it. AVDOL'S ALRIGHT THANK GOD. Polnareff that's a terrible way to make decisions. Surprisingly smart move from Joseph. And if you fuck with the cola, Joseph will launch the cap at you and break your hand. Oh god the cigarette. POLNAREFF YOU STUPID BASTARD. Thank you Iggy you're the real MVP here. Oh hey, free money. This boy is adorable until he starts laughing. ORANGE BOMB, GO. Okay Jotaro avoid all citrus fruits in this town. Aw crap you're caught. The giant hat. He lucked out that they're idiots. Whelp you're gonna blow up. I'm guessing that was the wrong orange. HI IGGY. What the hell. I bet Grandma Lisa Lisa taught him that trick. I can't tell if they know he's a fake and just fucking with him or if they're just this dumb. And then everybody watching stopped to check their thumbs. I like that Iggy should be able to smell that it's not Jotaro and still gives zero fucks. Well that worked out surprisingly well. And then he blew up anyway. Kid your power is a book what are you gonna do, hit them with it? Aw crap, it's the punchy guy. Jotaro is very confused. Oh my god this is beautiful. Gundam- Gee I still have no idea who's in that mask. Somebody's gonna get shot today. Never trust the child fucker. Yeeeah he's still full-speed ready to fuck that second grader. Oh what in the fuck. I am uncomortable with this backstory. Mika's just here for the candy and I can respect that. Do not let that douche into the fight. That's a lot of ships, y'all are fucked. Aw crap Mika's gonna lose another limb on this. WOW WHAT A SHOCK IT'S THAT GUY. He's gonna go fight the guy who's trying to screw his kid sister, which I can definitely understand. Are you sad because he'd rather fuck your sister who still gets visits from the tooth fairy instead of you? Not inspiring a lot of confidence when your mecha is named Bile. Kill them both, Mika. Aw crap I forgot that his dead boyfriend is stuck in the mecha. I feel like that's cheating. At least the hot redhead girl is enjoying this. Yeah this is gonna end well I'm sure. Oh what the hell is he gonna blow up the moon now? Guys, just let these two fight it out and stay out of it. Hunter- Oh god it's gonna be heartbreaking when he finds out Kite's dead. Good luck kids I believe in you. Well I'm creeped out here. Cool it with the sugar, lady. Yeah good luck with getting that dick, weirdo. GET ON WITH IT, BITCH. You're just wasting coffee here. Whelp in a month the whole country's gonna be destroyed. That's some hair there. Chill, dude. My adorable kids are so smart. That food looks good and now I'm hungry. Oh honey it's a little too late for that. Oh hey Bisky nice to see you again. Her hair is cute like that. That crazy old dude is fun. Meanwhile, terrible things. Is she reading a hot dude magazine because I respect that. Aww hi puppy. You're a good dude, guy. Let those boys sleep. I love her stand. This bitch is crazy and I'm afraid of her. My kids are so great. I got a real bad feeling about this. Seriously, just nuke the place. That is one big fucking pipe. BUNNIES. I can't hate someone who makes cat puns. Showerpoof, I don't even need to make up a stupid nickname for this one. What in the hell is this. Oh please tell me this grown woman is not developing a crush on my twelve-year old son.

She's in no way a little girl. She's 17 or 16 at the very least. I'm not sure why you're saying she's below that, since her immediate younger sibling is explicitly stated to be 15. Her fiance is 21, which is a bit on the older side in comparison, but considering that her family practically walked out of Game of Thrones, it's not a huge creep factor.

Clover- I can't blame them I'd rather off myself than spend more time with Asta too. I am disappointed that captain isn't still naked. That salute just looks stupid. Oh hey, the drunk skank owns clothes after all. I too love that bird. They actually get gold stars like in kindergarten. When you get ten stars you can trade them in for stickers. How the shit do you people suck that much. You're in this squad because you're goddamn terrible and no one else wanted you, never forget that. You should buy your sister a stainless steel chastity belt to protect her from yourself. STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU, MANSON. You leave that nun the hell alone, you stupid bastard. Can she launch a bomb at him through the mail? Yes I want you to fall off. Why don't you just shit behind him so he doesn't have to hold on to you, you dumb bitch? Every time Asta makes that face I die a little inside. I am real creeped out by the sister fucker. Dude just buy a hooker. Maybe you can find a cheat to fix your garbage aiming problems. Should i have any idea who this guy is? Nobody gives a fuck, dumbass. Oh christ it's a furby. How did you not notice the robes they're right on top of their tits. Was this episode filler? Jojo- Save Avdol at all costs I can't lose him again. God you're brilliant now take off your pants too. Kick his ass, husband! NO GODDAMMIT NOT AGAIN. Please save my husband. Thank you Jotaro for saving my husband. Oh hey Iggy whatcha up to? Jojo that's not how you peta dog. He's got a point you need them for gum. I love this dog. Our hero, threatening to murder a terrified dog. Okay while he's distracted somebody please plug up Avdol's gaping neck wound. Whelp y'all are screwed. Kick his ass, Jotaro. Aw crap he found you. I like that Iggy whines his name like a Pokemon. It's cute how you think anyone is Iggy's master. Our hero, throwing a terrified, farting dog at a confused blind man. EAT SHIT, BLINDY. Punch his goddamn head off. Fetch the stick, Iggy! A rare moment when Jotaro's hat isn't fusing itself to his skull. OH SHIT. Man, Dio must be doing goddamn incredible things with that stolen dick. Is anyone in this part NOT gay for Dio? Hey that sounds like a question to ask your resident Egyptian friend after you get him to the nearest fucking hospital. I can't believe you took the time to bury that guy when half your friends are bleeding out in the desert. Iggy is the world's saltiest dog and I love him. AWWWWW HE BROUGHT HIS HAT BACK. You lovable little bastard. No seriously, get those boys some medical attention immediately. Hello there, adorable little child. OINGO BOINGO BROTHERS. Surely this comic isn't showing the future. Gundam- They're gonna kill some people is what's going on. Mika might lose another limb here. Wow what a shock that the douchebag failed to live up to his end of the bargain. I'm going to enjoy seeing him die painfully. Yeah, child soldiers who spent years in a warzone tend to not make the most mentally sound decisions. If you wreck the Wife Wagon you will be punished. Whelp I guess the only way to beat child soldiers is to throw more child soldiers at them. Don't be a little bitch here, kiddo. Kill them all to avenge that ass you never got to hit. Maybe it's time to consider getting a therapist for these kids. You're lacking the ability to be an unrepentant dickwad who's terrible in every way. This mechanic girl is cute. Yeah that'll go well, "Sorry we murdered a bunch of your friends, please forgive us?" Old man doesn't give a fuck. I hope someone still kills the shit out of that guy. Wow it's a real surprise how he figured out your obvious plot to fuck everyone over and now you're screwed. Dude rats can totally kill a human you don't fuck around with rats. Hahahaha you dumb bastard, rot in hell. Thank you Mika. Let me put your minds at ease, I ever get killed by some raging asshole, I will absolutely be happy to see him suffer and die painfully for my honor. Aw crap what now. I got a bad feeling about this. Good luck kids you're gonna need it. Hunter- Look here Meowmix I am never gonna learn how to spell that name. Everybody line up to get punched in the face. Okay y'all better hurry up before Chimera Fight Club starts. Ging put all this effort into a years-long convoluted plan to train his son, but won't take five damn minutes to talk to him. Please don't kill my adorable kids. Remember that time Kite punched a toddler in the face, good times. Did Gon ever get his license back from the pawn shop? Ohhh I don't think this bodes well for Kite please don't kill him. Aw crap Meowmix knows you're here. Ohhhh no run away. OH FUCK HIS ARM. Uh, I think Gon broke. Thank you Killua now run as fast as you fucking can. Clown Scythe to the rescue! GODDAMMIT CLOWN SCYTHE. Please call literally anyone with a nuke to destroy everything now. Thank you, friendly bear man. This is the one time I'm hoping Hisoka shows up. Oh hey it's the president. Fuck you, stranger dudes. I got a bad feeling that these two minions are going to get slaughtered. No shit he's panicking you would be too if you saw that shit. Shut up and go get yourself killed, buddy. Did you say it's assassins, is his sexy dad here? Damn, how hard did he knock that boy out? Aww kids come here let me hug you. I admire your optimism but I have absolutely no faith in it. Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Clover- Well hey she didn't accidentally kill everyone so that's something. Joke's on you, he has no power and got in out of pity. You stupid bastard. I gotta root for the ice douche here. This show has done the unthinkable and found me a dude with fire powers that I wouldn't bang. Why won't you just die already? Nice ass padding there, buddy. WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY. I don't think he has any problem going through you. I'm sure this isn't a fakeout and Asta's not about to pop out like a methed-up gopher. Oh look that's exactly what happened. Good job you managed to do one single good spell in your life. I'd just kill myself out of shame if Asta beat me in a fight. Avdol did the flame bondage better. Stop shouting you dumbass. Sorry girl he only wants to fuck an unwilling nun. That bird is the best character. Surely this will go off without a hitch. Whelp y'all fucked that up. Grandpa swindled you out of all your money and your underwear, but he did it for a good cause so it's fine. Well shit if this stupid bastard that has literally no maagic ability can get in, they'll just take anybody. THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOUR SHITTY GOALS, YOU SELFISH FUCK. Thank you bird. Alright I have to agree with her this bird is pretty great. I don't care enough to remember if we're supposed to recognize this voice but I'm sure it's not a powerful good guy who's really an absolute dickwad in disguise. Jojo- Oooh sweet new OP. Do not let Joseph touch that helicopter. Well he sounds delightful. Shut up Polnareff you have no room to talk. Is..is he a blanket stand? Oh my god it's the world's saltiest dog. God I love Avdol. You deserve this, Polnareff. His stand is cool and I love him. Have some Scooby Snacks. Awwww puppy likes gum. You adorable little bastard. Oh good Joseph got a new hand. That's a good picture. Avdol is loving this. Oh no Holly y'all gotta hurry up. Jonathan's body is just too strong for him. This guy's not ominous at all. Well shit he's blind you can't punch a blind guy. This is gonna be a problem. I want to pet this dog and give him all the gum he wants. Yeah, three giant buff dudes probably take up a lot of room back there. Okay this plane crash was actually not Joseph's fault for once. Ohh that looks rough. Okay he has a water stand but where the hell did that fish come from. OH NOOO. Yeah honey that seems like a pretty obvious conclusion. That is a lot of blood coming out of that thing. Quit whining and do it you baby. OH FUCK IT'S A STAND. Aw fuck now he's blind. Use Polnareff as a shield it's a worthy sacrifice. Oh right the dude can't see he has to go by sound. Okay can anybody spontaneously develop the ability to fly? I like how Iggy's just sleeping through all this. Aw shit there goes the car. Iggy's gonna have to kick his ass. If you touch that dog I will kill you myself. Waaait this isn't Walk Like An Egyptian. Gundam- RIP the best characters in this show. Fuck you, dickwad. I feel like what's best for the company is not letting the backstabbing traitor have free reign. I will comfort these sad and beautiful women. Someone punch him. Well this is depressing. Babies are indeed terrifying. Mika, imagining how tasty that baby meat probably is. JUST BANG HIM ALREADY, GIRL. God I loved main wife. Well now you gotta nail him to honor her memory. Son of a bitch this guy's still alive. Yeah well he's dead now, someone stab that guy in the kidneys. GET IT GIRL. You idiot she's trying to plow you. Oh he's gonna invade you alright. Yeah, rub it in that the best characters are dead. Didn't you have a brother back in the day? This is going too well something bad is going to happen. Now kiss. It takes sex with a dozen women on a regular basis to keep a family happy. Mika what the shit. Get it girl, I guess. Fuck off, asshole. Build A Bear is a fun place indeed. Eyebrow bear. OH WHAT THE FUCK. You still have to pay for that bear. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. I hope he dies painfully. Oh no don't trust the baby fucker. You really should have banged that girl when you had the chance. Murder the shit out of them, Mika. Hunter- Aw shit that thing's hatching. Calm down there, Emo Cat. Aw fuck don't hurt my kids. You need a stronger bug zapper, Killua. Yeah good luck with that pouncing plan, dude. Well thi girl is adorable. Hi, Bacon Baker. I hope whoever it is escaped. Oh good it's that one guy and he's alive. I like Professor Penguin he's the only one I hope survives. Ohh that's probably not a good thing. Well that's different. What the hell did you guys do in there? Now's not the time for man oogling, girl! It's the ciiiiiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiife. And knowing is half the battle! Who the hell is this one? Where are they getting fancy clothes in this place? I can't tell if this cat is a boy or girl. Oh no my dude you are so fucked. WHELP he's dead. Oh my god this one makes cat puns I can't hate that. No goddammit why are you helping them? Oh fuck nevermind this is horiffic. Well at least Buzzkill is probably the most likely to turn traitor for the good team. Oh fuck fuck fuck that is a real bad idea for the world. At this point death is probably a relief for him.

I love Iggy and his immediate hatred of Polnareff.

I want my Devilman Crybaby money back now.

This sequel better finally give me a focus episode for Rock Bison.

Clover- Bitch you couldn't hit the ground if you fell out of a tree, be grateful they even let you be here. Every week I beg any god that will listen for this idiot to lose his voice and every week my prayers are ignored. I'm disappointed that he wasn't gored to death. So the point of this story is that he is also an unlikable dickwad? Please stop showing me his weird punishment kink. Shut the fuck up and stab the air, you dumbass. Oh hey the entire town's not dead, color me surprised. If they die at least they won't have to be in this show anymore. Correction, it's one magic knight and two rejects who should have been skipped over. Man that dead guy is lucky. Always use Asta as a human shield. You know you lose the element of stealth if you NEVER STOP SCREAMING. Wow rude. I have never wanted to punch a child as much as I do in these flashbacks. Maybe I'll get lucky ahd his mouth will freeze shut. Gee maybe you shouldn't have brought the absolute worst people in your group for even the most basic task. Christ, at this point just try aiming 10 feet away from them and see what happens. Give up hope now, little girl. What good is a new spell if you still can't fucking aim them? Jojo- Someone help grandpa not die. Good luck I hope you don't die painfully. I love these idiots. I mean if any of them have to suffer then Polnareff is my first choice. Quick, escape while it's killing Polnareff! Thank god for that disgusting use of tentacle powers. THAR SHE BLOWS. Okay I really wanna see Magician's Red swimming. I don't know when they had time to put on those flippers but it amuses me. Honey no don't go in the tunnel that looks suspiciously like a giant nose. OH SHIT. And then they all got eaten. Polnareff is confused, what a shock. You could always try escaping through her ass. Quick, seduce her! That was...an attempt, i guess? There's a filthy joke here with this giant tongue I'm sure. Punch her in the uvula. Now that's a spicy meatball. Whelp that's it, show's over. Alright Joseph, you're gonna have to bang your way into a new descendant. Oh hey he's alive. Oww that has got to hurt. I sure hope Egypt has some great dentists. Dude give her a break her jaw just got destroyed. Alright boys you got 20 days to kick Dio's ass. Oh right, nobody else remembers BABY STAND. I like that Holly's too weak to survive her stand and yet one of their strongest opponents was an actual baby. Oh I got a bad feeling for this guy's odds. Whelp so much for that guy. Uggh why is he so evil and sexy. Joseph when you were his age you tried to beat a 10,000 year old ultra-vampire-god with a child's toy. Suzi is so great I love her. If Holly dies I riot. Oh hey nice car, don't let Polnareff drive it. Uh hey what's under that blanket? Gundam- Oh this is not gonna end well. Potato Sack Mika is still funny. Please save the wives. Shut up lady let them save the wives. Oh right, there's a bunch of kids on the sexship, maybe get them out too. Oh fuck off, dickwad. God I love main wife. Ohhh they're all going to die. Man this is gonna suck. Someone punch that guy in the dick, please. Congratulations dude, you may be the worst character in this show. Well this is gonna be depressing. If you don't fuck him after this you don't deserve to fuck him at all. Main wife is so great but this is going way too well for her. God what a piece of shit. She is motivated by what is clearly the best dick in the galaxy. How dare you shoot my favorite wife. I hope they take this asshole out with them. RIP the only good harem I've ever seen in an anime. I volunteer to console the other wives. Hunter- My advice is to pull Kite and my adorable kids out of there and then nuke the place immediately. Forget the "humanely" part, just kill them as quick as possible. Oh right, these people exist. Yeeeah just nuke the place. I suggest murdering every bug you see. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Professor Penguin is concerned with this plan. I got a bad feeling about this. I'm still gonna recommend the plan of hiring Killua's sexy dad to murder everything in the country. Oh goddammit it's a fucking Naruto frog. Gon please try not to lose any limbs this time, those don't grow back in real life. Sorry Harmadillo I don't like your odds here. KICK HIS ASS KIDDO I BELIEVE IN YOU. They do it because they're assholes. Joke's on you, this boy is too crazy to lose. Shock the shit out of this thing, my adorable albino child. Ohh you've jinxed yourself there Kite. Yeah I think being in the middle of BugFuck Murder City would be upsetting, buddy. Dude just got his septum shattered. Oh no who's in their dungeon. Aw shit I forgot rhinos have armor. FUCK YEAH I'M PROUD OF YOU. Oh nooo don't say that you're going to get your legs eaten. Now do that to the terrible Naruto frogs. Oh dang he wiped out all of them. Remember to behead everthing on your way out. I'm still about 90% sure that Hisoka is already creeping around this place with his murderous clown boner.

Why are you such an unlikable douche? I'm still not sure FLCL ever needed another season, but I'm hoping for the best on it.

Clover- That angry pigeon is the best character. Please make him stop screaming. Oh my god stop trying to fuck the unwilling nun. I enjoy the captain's threats of violence. You can skip out on the chores when you actually manage to hit a target. He did all of this because he's a dipshit. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU, MANSON. I totally understand the whore's desire to slam down a bottle of wine while talking to them. Okay I do love these sheep chefs. He's so angry and I feel that on a personal level. Someone please kill the sister fucker. Gambling is indeed a serious mission. At least show me the leader's dick. Sounds like you're gonna have to fuck him if you lose. I keep waiting for those hellbeasts to maul him permanently. Pan down. That better make for some great bacon. Shut up and do your job, idiots. Well you two are just no fucking help at all are you. Every time Asta makes that face I lose a week off my life. You should have just let him fall. Those boars are lucky to not be in the show anymore. Jojo- I'm so glad Avdol's back. We all live in a yellow submarine. DO NOT LET JOSEPH DRIVE THAT THING. Control you dick, Polnareff. I'm sure no one will try attacking you in the submarine. Call and check on Holly. I was not expecting Suzi but I missed her. SMOKEY HAS DONE SO WELL I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. Oh god Suzi has no idea. Okay I would definitely want to know what's going on if I was her though. Oh no poor Holly, y'all gotta kill Dio in like the next week. Avdol is such a good dude I'm upgrading him up to husband tier. GODDAMMIT POLNAREFF. Just throw Pol off the ship if he keeps whining. This is obviously going too well. Oh no that can't be good. Thank god that hand screws back on. Aw crap now you're fucked. Sorry you'll have to call back later. I like how Avdol knows just about everyone. NOT NOW SUZI. Jotaro you idiot now she knows something's up. You can hit my bottom next I mean what. Whelp there goes Kakyoin. Please let Avdol escape I just got him back. Thank you Jotaro I couldn't handle losing him a second time. Oh hey Joseph nice of you to wake up. Just hold it in place with Hermit Purple. That is one big submarine. A rare picture of Jotaro smiling. How do you expect me to focus on the plot if you show me a naked MILF. Jotaro no, help your grandpa. Gundam- I'm glad the wives finally get to go home. I hope she's taking this last chance to get that dick. And she wants to be one of those people under him alright. I need someone to fight this douche. Oh hell no you leave the harem alone. No I am fairly sure this is not the way that politics typically work. He's a dumbass, fire him. Your mask is stupid and you're also stupid. GEE I WONDER WHO THE FUCK THIS GUY REALLY IS. If you punch the child fucker in the face right now I will bake you a cake. Dude nobody wants your nasty pedo soul. Asta's harem fetish is getting out of hand. Jesus girl that is a really unhealthy way to think about things. Oh my god you're really serious here. He's got a point, baby meat does seem like it'd be super tender. MAIN WIFE I LOVE YOU. I like that harem man is cool with her plowing some other dude. These two are so cute together. This is a really cute flashback and I am very worried about their lives. Harem man is officially the best character in this show. "Get yourself a heard of bitches and you'll never go wrong" is a great policy in life. Mika's just deepthroating those cannolis. Please don't kill the harem. Someone should fight this dick. I got a real bad feeling about this. Hunter- I just want my adorable kids to be okay. Don't do drugs, kids. On the bright side, the bad guys smuggling drugs and guns are gone. Dude's got some good range on him. What in the fuck. I am uncomfortable with Shrektaur here. Slutterfly creeps me out. Sorry Shrektaur, Hisoka already has that goal in mind. Please don't kill Kite I like him. Somebody get a giant can of bug spray. Step away from the small child, Slutterfly. Killua doesn't fuck around. SHIT. Leave my albino son alone. I love this kid. She's taking this surprisingly well. Meanwhile, more suffering. I don't have a rude nickname for him but please kick his ass. Yeah dude I'm sure this'll work out just great for you. This is a boy who got his own hand blown off to win a fight, you're not gonna out-crazy him. Oh great, so he's a horrifying abomination that's also addicted to meth. CLOWN SCYTHE, GO. That clown weapon is the most terrifying thing here. CLOWNZOOKA, GO. Gon gets a cool laser sword. Yeah that'll end well. Oh hey thanks Kite. Oh fuck where's Slutterfly's body. That thing is the weirdest fucking stand. The little girl is probably the most bloodthirsty and brutal one here, isn't she. I am gonna go out on a limb and say that's not a good thing. Oh fuck that is a real bad thing.

Not a clue. No he screams too much, I'm here for the chick in her underpants and the angry leader who wants them to shut up. The manga for part 3 started in the beginning of 1989 I wasn't even born yet! I wish he'd kept that pantsless look but now I wonder what he's seen over the past few weeks that made him think extensive groin protection is necessary. Impossible, she's not beating him to death.

Clover- I already have a headache I am going to murder this boy tonight. Dude I'm pretty sure the creepy sister-fucker is shameful enough. Never make that face again you're creeping me out. Oh fuck me is this gonna be a thinly-veiled recap episode about his journey so far? Fuck you too, rich douche. Asta wrote a terrible sext trying to beg the nun for nudes. Dudes just enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts. It's like a shitty, tetanus-riddled version of Hogwarts. That random bird is the best character. I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, MANSON. Just let that man shit in peace. Hi puppies! I am already exhausted by these guys. Oh hey it's the bitch princess. Shut the fuck up. Don't fight, you're both bad and unlikable. And nothing of value was lost. Haaa, she sucks at magic too. Ouuuuch. No you're a failure and I'd pity you if this was a better show. Good job bitch you knocked yourself out. Good lord dude how long were you shitting? I like how the whore appears to just not own any clothes. Dipshit on cue. I enjoy how their leader could not give a fraction of a fuck. The lesson here is that they're both awful in exact opposite ways. There continue to be exactly two people in this squad that I don't want to see suffer painfully. Jojo- Maybe Polnareff will luck out and Avdol's dad has a stand that's perfect for taking down zombies, and then I'll have to cry because he has to fight his dead son. Why was Sherry's zombie naked but Avdol's zombie is fully clothed? I mean I'm not saying I'd bang the zombie I'm just saying show me his dick, you cowards. Oh jesus this is gonna destroy me. Polnareff is having a real rough day. They're zombies remember to go for the brain. Never trust a genie. This was all Poolnoodle's fault but it's hard to watch. WAIT WHAT? Please be real please be real please be real. HE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Oh how I've missed that huge, muscular cock. Eat shit, genie. Aww Polnareff is crying and I can forgive him now. NO DON'T HURT MY BIRD. Please don't kill him again I just got him back. That's gonna leave some emotional trauma. If you touch Avdol I will kill you myself. God I love him. I'm so glad that Avdol is alive and now he's wearing a solid metal codpiece that absolutely makes me focus on his crotch. Poor baby I'll nurse you back to health. Where the hell is he hiding? Set his breathing tube on fire. I'm glad they're having fun. AVDOL OH MY GOD. That guy must have a great view. You might wanna get Polnareff to a hospital now. Haaaa, everybody else knew. I like how Avdol's dad disguise was just white hair and no pants. YELLOW SUBMARINE. Polnareff you're forgetting that Joseph is disgustingly rich. Wait, who's taking care of the chickens while Avdol's gone? Today was a great day. Gundam- Really hoping Mika doesn't die here. Did...did they skip over the entire fight? "King of Mars" does have a nice ring to it. Be careful kid, eyes don't grow back. Now that's a sword! I'm sure there's a valuable lesson we all learned here today but I couldn't tell you what it is. What is that an ashtray? Don't fuck this up, you'll get harem man killed. I mean, I'd choose basically any ally over the child fucker too. Well this dude sure is screwed. Hi harem man! Mika might be broken. Oh fuck he's paralyzed. This is probably a real bad thing. Does Mars not have doctors who could take a look at this boy who basically had a stroke? Everybody stop and take a hug break. Atra what the fuck. Oh yeah that dude is definitely alive. Someone please shoot this guy before he screws over everyone. You look like a Musketeer-themed hooker and you suck. Paint racing stripes on it, it'll go faster. I shouldn't find it so funny that Mika's getting hauled around like a sack of potatoes. I got a bad feeling about Orga's mental stability. Oh this is gonna get depressing. Sooo are we just gonna ignore Atra's sudden fetish? Hunter- I don't wanna suggest you call Hisoka in for backup but he's probably jacking off just behind the nearest tree. That is an excessive amount of humans. Buzzkill, living up to that name. Hi Titscorpion. Somebody please fucking kill that spider. A decent attempt from Buff Minotaur. Nooo not the horses. You're gonna have to kill this guy. Oh this cannot be a good thing. What in the FUCK. Oh god why is it wearing a speedo. Please don't hurt my adorable kids. Is it time for Kite to bring out his weird clown scythe? I love my children. RIDE THE LIGHTNING, BITCH. Aim for his speedo, Gon! Aw crap, he lived. Big deal, Hisoka's threatened them with worse and they still hang out with him. I'm pretty sure my kids will get out of this alive but I'm nervous about Kite's survival. Please kill the speedo rabbit. If you touch my kids I will destroy you. Yeah well if the other squads jumped off a bridge would you do it too? Wow, Thundercat's squad is hardcore. That weirdass thing in the background with tennis balls for eyes is freaking me out. Sheer willpower and rage are the only things getting me through work too. That sure is a lot of dead bodies. I got a bad feeling about this.

More importantly...

Okay serious question, the hell is Avdol wearing?

AVDOL OH MY GOD

I'm so glad that Avdol is alive and now he's wearing a solid metal codpiece that absolutely makes me focus on his crotch.

He whipped out Magician's Red again, I've missed that giant muscular cock.

HE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK