EmpressAngel

And it's that 1 out of 10 times that comes back to bite me in the ass! Lazarus- I bet this hacker is a kid in a squirrel fursuit. I'm here for that cat. I see this crypto douchebro on my screen and immediately recoil in disgust. We're banking that he's into 12-year old girls. No let Axel go offscript it'll be fun. No let her drink more it'll be fun. What, you're gonna cut his arm off for his tattoo? Well let's hope the fake girl plot goes better than it did for Ginro. I hope we see these crypto douchebros die. Now that's a hell of a drink. Oh no kid you're gonna get roofied. ENHANCE. I am deeply uncomfortable with this. BEAT HIS ASS. Damn girl you doin' anything later? They are getting good use out of every dime they spent on that John Wick guy. Please tell me he's gonna jump at the helicoptor. He jumped at the helicoptor! All women hate you and that includes your autopilot. There is a machine gun strapped to the drone and I'm here for every minute of this. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Let them die. If your parents give you a name like that's it's 100% because they hate you. Oh no, the monkeys! Exorcist- This is the least threatening demon I've ever seen. Grandpa continues to be the biggest senile old bastard. "Hey kid, I fucked your mom." Kids you are all very stupid. And then everyone died. It's fine, Boobs will save us all. Death by enormous boobs is exactly how I want to die, don't judge me. Snaaaaake. In a surprise twist Satan's actually really strong, y'all. Shocking how trusting Satan to knock you up didn't go well. "Hey, the chick with the cans is back" is also how the Starbucks across from my work recognizes me. Old man you realze 99% of the students have no goddamn clue about all this demon bullshit, right? Shiemi, real fucking dumb til the bitter end. Hey guys have we tried just asking Satan nicely to pretty please stop? I wonder how season 2 is gonna retcon all of this in a couple weeks. TFW you're naked and restrained by dozens of soulless mini clones of yourself as you try to escape from hell. Bro you shot me! Yeah sure this is what their dipshit mom dreamed of for her children. Oh right, Satan's still here. One Piece- God I wish Bellamy was dead. Yes I know what that title says but this is not my fault. Law is still having the worst fucking day. I refuse to believe Trebol is the second strongest member of that crew. In case you forgot, Law has never had a good day even once in his life. I miss Cora. Hey I know you were trying to kill me but instead, how about you die to make me immortal? Man, Law is hot. That's some real big talk for a guy missing one limb and half the blood in his body. Ohhh now he's mad. I like that Kanjuro's shitty, shitty ladder is still there. Yes Doflamingo is an evil bastard but he's just so cool. Please tell me Bellamy is dead. While you were busy yelling at Bellamy, Law got shot like nine times and died. Fun fact, in real life if you try to fight the flamingos the cops come and you get banned from the zoo. Ah shit, string's moving. Law you know damn well that boy cannot follow a plan, save your breath. Remember gang, if we win then everybody gets a rimjob from the newly-disposed king. You gotta save that giant gorilla at all costs! Fuck them kids, don't trip if you don't wanna die. We have to stop this, Baby 5's got a wedding to plan. It's hella cold that he's ready to dice up his own crew over a little tantrum like this. Fuck oooooff, Trebol. Luffy's only two thoughts are FIGHT and EAT, your evil monologue is wasted here. Big deal, I've been destroying my body from the inside out with hazardous amounts of energy drinks every day for ten years. The sheer nuts you have to get shot on purpose. Meanwhile, that random henchman is absolutely fucking dead. You've got about 30 seconds before Luffy throws your plan right out the window, make it count. BEAT HIS ASS. Now somebody please execute Trebol. Yes show I get it, I'm not allowed to have nice things. Can we take a second to glue Law's arm back on real quick? I miss you Cora you were hot.

Air my horny Disney pretty boy anime, you cowards.

I wonder if we've been getting scraps for so long because they were saving everything up for Bleach. I haven't bothered to watch the new anime or touched the manga since it ended so I can't wait to see what men are now in my garbage standards wheelhouse.

Lazarus is fun and that's all that matters. Lazarus- Don't do drugs, kids. I don't trust Popcorn Wizard. FAT CAT SIGHTING. I give it five minutes before Axel does something stupid but awesome. Yes hello we're just normal cleaners here to clean. Your old boss retired to give handjobs on the street, shouldn't be that hard to find. It's fine, Homeless Jerry is here to help. Jill is cute. Aww, that's sweet. I'd take a bullet for Jill, zero questions asked. Ooooh you just know there's some anti-woke douchebag making a Youtube video about this as we speak. This guy looks uncannily like an anime version of my high school biology teacher. Axel is either about to go bankrupt from basketball or swindle that boy for everything he has, there's nothing in between. Istanbul is Constantinople, you know. We gotta track down Granny Belinda for her recipes. Great job kid you don't stand out at all. CHEESE IT. Aw yeah the smooth jazz is starting we're in for some fun. Aww that little girl's adorable. He said the secret word! Well Boruto just got his hand chopped off, so we could be doing better. Gorge on your snacks now because we're all gonna die in a month. I'd die for you, Granny. I love Axel there are no brain cells in that skull of his. We just found a clue! Exorcist- He's just barfing up a gallon of blood, that's probably fine. Surprise, your grandpa's a senile old dick. Meanwhile Mephisto's just here having a good time. Yukio is real dumb in this arc. Huh, guess you should have learned to control your powers too. Hey guys maybe you shouldn't have opened a portal directly into hell. No seriously what is the deal with Puppet Kid. "Hey kiddo, I fucked your mom." Double surprise, your grandpa's even more of a senile old dick! She was busy playing with the Animal Crossing snowmen. So anyway, I started blasting. "After he killed my entire team, I decied to hang out and see how it'd go." Kids, your mom was really fucking stupid. Yeah, crazy how "I fucked Satan and he isn't so bad" didn't go over well with the church. This all could have been avoided if you'd taught that girl about condoms. And then she died, Star Wars style. So are y'all just gonna ignore that priests and cardinals aren't allowed to have kids either? We're gonna have to put Yukio down like a dog. One Piece- God bless Zoro and his complete inability to think anything through. Pica's voice, still hilarious. Oh right, the marines are here to get in the way. Maybe should have evacuated the roof before you called him over to squash you, my dude. I hope that big guy can aim for the right direction because Zoro sure as hell can't. You're all very nice but very very dumb. These insults would hurt a lot more if they weren't coming out of the most ridiculous voice possible. YEET. And now Zoro will read a poem for our enjoyment. He's fine I'm sure he didn't need that torso. Dividing him up like a Kitkat bar. Pay no attention to the thousands of pound of debris falling from the sky here. We've reached the Dick Measuring phase of the fight. Hey, Mihawk. Remember that time Zoro got murdered. Barto, still having the best day ever. Zoro's so cool. Oh right, we're still in mortal peril. One Punch Egg, to the rescue! I see that title and start screaming because how the FUCK are we not done with Bellamy yet?! Mihawk is so cool. Oh that's just cruel, sir. Zoro learned haki purely to support his drinking problem. Fujitora is a good dude I wish he was my grandpa. What factory. Good job little guys I'm proud of you. Why the fuck is Trebol still here. Mansherry is so goddamn cute I love her so much. Kyros is the best. By the way, the entire kingdom's on fire. Our only hope rests on a hyperactive glutton and a man actively bleeding out of his severed arm. I love Koala so much. Boyfriend get in there and help your girlfriend! You said the magic word and now he's on the way. I'm surprised Zoro climbed up the right tower. Oh right, the giant birdcage that's gonna kill us all is still there. Fucking christ can Bellamy just die already. I...I think I might actually hate Bellamy more than Foxy. Thank fucking god we're done with him, it's an Easter miracle. Meanwhile, Law's fucking dead.

I've only known Zoomer Dipshit Spike for two episodes but I'd take a bullet for him. Lazarus- Damn kids and their drugs. How are y'all this bad at controlling one crime zoomer? No shit the FDA didn't see this coming, who does this shit? I'm here for Garden Grandpa just having a nice day. Is this like some version of Suicide Squad that doesn't make me want to rip my own teeth out? Congratulations my dude, you're holding the only braincell in the group. Istanbul is Constantinople, you know. Look maybe this guy just snapped and decided the world's not worth saving and I can't blame him for that. I'm rooting for that cat. I bet he just shaved his beard and became completely unrecognizable. Well you better fucking not get caught again. I bet he was pirating anime and that's why they paired him with the kid who looks like Boruto. Just a random dude sitting alone in an abandoned building, nothing weird about that. Just a random dude hiding with a shotgun in an abandoned building, nothing weird about that. Tyrone we don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Well this plan certainly went awry. Axel's dumb as fuck and I'm kinda here for it. Aw fuck it's the cops. The finger gun killed me. Who the hell is this nerd? In a surprise twist, they're all friends now. Old man we don't care, we've got shit to deal with! You're Skinner, he's Skinner, is anybody here not Skinner? Exorcist- Might be a bit more concerned that your brother's missing, buddy. You'd think getting a new pope would be a bigger deal. I mean you're right, you do suck. We're launching Operation Dick Piercing, stat! GUN. Here kids, have these weapons we found out back in the shed. Snaaaake. Yukio you're a dumb bastard for believing a word that guy says. We're gonna launch a nuke into Hell, kiddo. We're having pork tonight, gang! Don't shoot the cat you jackass. I forgot Puppet Kid existed again. Surprise, you've got Dracula's guns. At least they let him bring hamster brother to jail with him. Dog, out! Hey Yukio look how bad you fucked up here, you got your brother killed. It's fine, Boobs Mcgee will save the day. One Piece- Fuck you, Steven Tyler. Cue me chanting DILF DILF DILF DILF like the Bill Nye theme song. Rev up that tragic flashback again! Date me I'll help you feel a lot of things. Seriously, crazy good balance for a dude with one leg. Viola had incredible willpower to still fuck Doflamingo after he had her sister killed. Sorry folks looks like the Aerosmith concert is cancelled. I hope he's dead. Rebecca may suck at everything but I'm happy for her. Oh good everyone remembers him now. All the villains are losing and meanwhile Baby Five switched sides for a genuinely healthy relationship. Ah fuck me I forgot Bellamy's still here. I also have zero faith in the government or military, can I join? Fujitora continuing to be the one actually good marine in a 100-mile radius. Meanwhile Zoro is so cool. That stupid voice gets me again. Stand down dilf, let someone else handle this one. Jesus fucking CHRIST can we be done with Bellamy already. Just let that dilf rest. Everyone hates Doflamingo and you by extension. Well, this could be going better. Nooo my wife! One day I'll stop laughing at Pica's stupid stupid voice but today is not that day. Fuck this city block in particular. "My life is no longer in danger" the king says, right before he's crushed to death by the world's most ridiculously-voiced man. Not now, redshirts, he's busy! I'm gonna laugh real hard if Zoro manages to get lost on his way to the fight. Oh god help us, Zoro's trying to use his brain. He's so fucking stupid. Barto is still an absolute goddamn mood. It's fine, One Punch Egg will save us. Quiet he's thinking, give him like 20 minutes. Oh hell yeah the bandanna comes on we're in business. Plan 5: YEET.

MANLY. Lazarus- I know I'm asking a lot from a Toonami Original but please be a decent show. Remember kids, drugs are bad. Spike's hyperactive cousin coming in. Damn bro what did you do to get jailed that hard? This is what all techbro billionaires secretly want to do. Wealth, fame, power, I left it all in one p-wait sorry wrong anime. Society's about to collapse and we're all gonna die, can I be excused. Hey lady do we got time for a quick jailbreak? PARKOUR. Dude's got some moves I'll give him that. The worst part about this world-shattering event is that there's probably a bunch of Big Pharma conspiracy nuts gloating about being right for once. If our best hope is some zoomer fight boy evading the cops then we're in real trouble. Look at him go. Boy you're like fourteen why are you here. I am not immune to a hot woman on a cool bike. No let her blow things up, it'll be fun. This guy with the car is cool. Quick, grab onto a couple of pigeons! This is an obvious trap but she's pretty enough that I would also fall for it immediately. I can get behind the fact that pretty much everyone is hot. I know we've burned by a decent first episode before, but I want to have hope that this one stays functional the whole time dammit! Exorcist- You'd think they'd want to keep the whole demon hostage crisis a bit more under wraps instead of blasting the news with it. Aww her little pokemon brought friends. Maybe you shouldn't have let your kid fuck Satan. Well yeah, you get knocked up by the devil and the exorcists are gonna have a problem with it. We're gonna bring peace the world by killing it. Way to fuck it up, eyepatch Seitz. Sooo they just let you be an exorcism teacher after you went on the run for your possessed devil wife? That lady woke up and probably assumed she was on a whole bunch of drugs. Shiemi continues to be adorable yet supremely incompetent at all times. It's fiiiiiiine man, don't worry about it. And then these assholes showed up. Shura's back has got to hurt so bad. She's already dead, just let her die again. One Piece- Fuuuuuck oooooff Bellamy. Goddammit Leo you're dropping the ball so hard! What factory. And now back to our main feature, MANFIGHT. Sooooo manly. I genuinely want these two to be best friends after they wrap up this fight. Your what now?! Franky might be dead. He tanked that shit like a real man. I didn't expect a tragic backstory for the fat man in a baby outfit and yet here we are. Seriously what happened to this man. She's really cute. Well lady I'm definitely not a pirate. Unexpectedly heartwarming, this is going to end so badly. Whelp, baby's dying. Aw fuck. Damn that's brutal. The tragedy-to-screentime ratio of this backstory is ridiculous. Well I'm crying now. If I had a nickel in this arc for every time a villain's funny personality quirk turned out to be a depressing trauma response, I'd have two nickels. Senior Pink is a gift we don't deserve. Trebol you are literally the last person who gets to rag on someone's appearance. Guess what I'm still crying. I know Franky has to win because he's the good guy but maybe this one time we can let it slide. Someone give that large baby man a hug. This is 100% the best fight in the arc and I will hear no arguments. Oh yeah, that factory! Meanwhile, obligatory fuck you Steven Tyler. I sure wish Rebecca wasn't here getting in the way. Beat his ass, dilf. Surprise, it's a pipe bomb! For fuck's sake just take Rebecca somewhere else. This is not going well for that dilf. Man's balance is off the fucking charts. Again, I would argue that knocking people into the murderfish pond definitely qualifies as hurting them.

Stretching out the Bellamy fight is the most unforgivable thing this show has ever done and I regularly have to watch them replay my boyfriend being fisted to death. Exorcist- I missed half the episode due to technical difficulties but I don't think I missed much. Something something spider demon. Well hey good news we've got one of them sons of Satan right here. In a surprise twist, Mephisto gets off his ass and does something. Oh fuck ooooooff dude. So can anybody in this place do their jobs? That flame is your quirk not your dad's...oh wait wrong show. Goddammit evil Seitz, again! God I wish that were me. Oh right, now it goes off the rails. One Piece- Robin please snap my spine like a breadstick next. Cabbage has some issues. POV every morning I wake up and debate on going to work or walking into the woods never to be seen again. Oh right, we're stil in the middle of a fight. Who gives a fuck about Rebecca, just save your own ass. You can't beat him he's fueled by the power of unfathomable simp energy. Gee if only he had the ability to put up an indestructable barrier that would prevent someone from being harmed. Don't worry, bad cabbage is only a danger if you eat it. You dropped this, king 👑. Aw dang he's only mostly dead. It's okay Barto the important thing is you tried. And suddenly, Barto's having just as much of a bad day as everybody else. Eat shit, bomb boy. You should probably tie up Cabbage while you have the chance. Previously, like 600 episodes ago, Buggy got hit by lightning. I respect this man's ability to simp this hard. Meanwhile, fuck you Steven Tyler. Give him a break he's only got one leg. God I wish Rebecca didn't suck. Beat his ass, dilf! They're all idiots aren't they. Oh hey, art lady's back. Dellinger's having a rough day. Pantless fight is still the best fight. The tontotta are still so goddamn adorable. SHE'S SOOOOO CUUUUUTE. I need her and Shirahoshi to meet and be best friends. Look if we have to bring one back let's go with Unmedicated Grandpa. Lady you are giving off some strong Ursula vibes. Awww she likes Leo. Noooo don't hurt her she's so precious. I love Tiny Grandpa he cracks me up. Yes, damn. Usopp can only give that little girl PTSD so many times. Whelp, we're boned. Go little dudes, kick 'em while they're down! AWWWWW. Now kiss! Leo you dumb bastard. Jesus fucking christ we're still on Bellamy?

No one asked but I feel like it's important to share that they made Hades a gamer weeb and it's objectively the funniest choice they could have made in this series.

Bartolomeo is the simp in all of us. Exorcist- Uh hey bro you might wanna get that leprosy checked out. Her astrology sign is bitch. Pink-haired guy and Kaminari from MHA would get along well. We're already derailing the show for the rest of the runtime, might as well derail it extra hard with the shittiest filler we can imagine. I vote we take her out to the woods and leave her for dead. I gotta agree, I'd love birthday meat. At least one person here has a grand total of two braincells. I'm glad they're accidentally making her miserable. I forgot the little kitchen gremlin existed. Oh fuck yeah now that's a cake. This is painful to watch. And she still found a way to be a heinous bitch after all. I wonder if the manga ever says what the deal is with puppet kid. Well your mom is some random broad who fucked the devil. One Piece- I'm just happy for Baby 5. She's so cute I love her. Pica's stupid fucking laugh never gets old. Please enjoy Zoro's contractually mandated three minutes of screentime this week. Meanwhile, Kyros continues to be hot. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. Don't worry, Rebecca's still here to do nothing. I wish Rebecca didn't suck so bad. And Sabo's just here to be hot and nice. FUCK OFF, BELLAMY. Bellamy might be the only character I hate almost as much as Foxy. Meanwhile Law, still bleeding out on the roof. Law's so cool. Hey Luffy could we maybe focus on somebody who's not complete fucking garbage. And then everything blew up. Barto is a gift we don't deserve. This episode could have been an email. I love these idiots. Bartolomeo continues to be an absolute fucking mood. Man's running off the sheer force of being a simp. Dellinger's just out here having a great time. Yes I know he's the enemy but this gay little bastard is just too fun not to root for. Where do I get a pair of murder heels, asking for myself. Huh, the horns are real. Oh, that's horrifying. This is what republicans think happens at drag shows. Noooo my gay little bastard! What a crazy way to find out the demon possessing Cavendish is homophobic. Can we get Cabbage an exorcism after this? I love Barto so much. My dude this bragging is gonna immediately bite you in the ass. Oh no, Robin! We stan the Simp King. God I wish that were me.

I play this game for the plot. The plot: (Please don't ask how much money I've spent getting Catboy Scar to love me)

Based on the game created by Black Butler's Yana Toboso, Twisted Wonderland is the story of an ordinary high school student transported to a magical school in an unfamilar world. The twist? All of the characters are based on Disney Villains! I am about to get so much more annoying.

Ladies, get you a hideously ugly man who supports your crazy ass getting some therapy.

I'm happy for my hot Gun Wife. Exorcist- Oh no we're being menaced by demon Goofy. I'm pretty sure this is the part where the show starts going off the rails. Dumbass bird learns that getting shot is painful. Satan's got like four sons in a one-mile radius here, you don't have to kill that specific one. Kid the trick is to have a soul so filled with hate and depravity that no demon wants it, like me! Whatever you do, don't explain shit. Never trust an abandoned van in the middle of nowhere. Freezing her tits off here. You're a bad friend, Bon. Probably should have just given that boy an exorcism when you had the chance just to be safe. Y'know what, bird demon does have some good points. Bet you feel like a real asshole now, huh. Annoying douchebag brother just being turned into a hungry hungry hamster is unreasonably funny to me. Sometimes you don't wanna get yourself killed on a daily basis and that's okay. What's a little attempted murder between friends, right? One Piece- Law, still having the WORST fucking day. Just punch Bellamy in the nuts hard enough to make him pass out and call it a day. I'm with the flamingo, kill that guy already. So he was always stupid as all fuck. I hate him more knowing he was a spoiled little rich shithead who just got bored. Remember that time Luffy knocked you out with half a punch, good times. I wish Bellamy was dead. Not now you dipshit, our real friend's bleeding out on the roof. That laugh is still ridiculous. I love Dellinger he's just out here having a good time. MY WIFE. Honey he's not playing he's really that dumb. Y'know what, I can ship it. My dude you're a giant how are you getting your ass beat this hard. Meanwhile Zoro has no idea what's going on here. It's fine you don't need all those bones. Look don't ask me how it's supposed to work but Hajrudin can get it. I hate Bellamy so fucking much. You go girl, get your hideously ugly man. Grandpa fight still cracking me up. Oh no you're breaking her heart. He died. False alarm, we're back. Ohhhh this got real depressing. What the fuck. Someone please give Baby 5 a hug. This turned into a soap opera and I'm kinda here for it. And now your head's broken again, because you were a dick. Forget the hug, someone please give Baby 5 some therapy. His grandpa's proud of him, he gets a promotion, and tripped facefirst into an unreasonably hot wife, Sai's objectively won this arc. Goddammit Unmedicated Grandpa! I know it doesn't make any sense but this old man is hilarious. Fuck off old man she's getting married. I love my wife. Awwwwww. Ladies, get you a man who wants to get your crazy ass into therapy. She's so cute.

If Ray Chase is your mentor figure in a criminal family organization, everyone's about to have a bad time. Exorcist- I like that her sword looks like a derpy snake. Isn't that thing what Zoro's currently fighting in One Piece? Mephisto's just have a good time here. Hey buddy sorry we were gonna execute you because your dad's an asshole, we'd really appreciate it if you saved all of our asses right now. Wasn't he already in your custody working for you and didn't your staff already know he was Satan's bastard son? Fuck off, Charlie Brown. Well that's an easy way to take care of demon bugs. So you went out of your way to repair his sword and save his life because he's your friend and you care about him but now he can go fuck himself, okay sure that makes sense. Come on bro it's time for a training arc. I want to be her when I grow up. Hey, it finally occurred to somebody that Yukio is also the bastard son of the devil and maybe they should keep an eye on that. Ass. Uh hey dude I think you're coming down with leprosy. Whelp, Charlie Brown's getting posessed. Hey look, the heinous bitch is capable of being a decent person for a grand total of three minutes. One Piece- Oh good for a second there I thought you weren't gonna force us to rewatch the tragic backstory one more time. Alright Law you've really gotta kill Doffy now, avenge your adopted faildad. Meanwhile, please just fucking put Bellamy down like the dog he is. Oh no that wasn't fate, that was Law pointing Luffy in the general direction of shenanigans and letting him loose. What factory. Get back to the pantsless fight! You keep saying Trebol's a top executive but I refuse to believe it. This recap is genuinely helpful, thanks. MY WIFE. You gotta save the cat, bro. I genuinely love these two together. Go ahead and kill Bellamy please I'll give you $5. Oh right, Dilf is fighting Steven Tyler. And Rebecca is also here to get in the way. Barto, still having the best goddamn day. This fucking nerd. Cabbage is your horse okay. My dude you're a giant how is this guy giving you so much trouble. I love my wife. Oh right, I forgot about the adorable little fiary princess. BOYFRIEND. Oooh I think you got under the flamingo's skin with that. This is how my doctor gives me the flu shot every year. Law it's really gonna suck if you lose here after that inspiring speech you just gave about avenging your dead loved one. SHUT UP TREBOL. Sorry Law you're really just not good at thie whole revenge thing. Meanwhile, I enjoy seeing Bellamy get hurt. No listen to him, mercy kill him and be done with it. There will come a day where I don't devolve into giggles whenever Pica speaks but today is not that day. That bowling bit came out of nowhere. Only Zoro could manage to lose a guy who's also a building. God, Zoro's so cool. Law continues to have the worst fucking day. We didn't deserve Cora. AW FUCK HIS ARM. It's fine he's a doctor he can sew it back on himself probably. See, this here's my Family Murderin' Pistol, I only bring it out for special occasions. At least Luffy's doing better than Law at his fight.

Hey we watched Shenmue I'm pretty sure that counts as being forklift certified. Exorcist- Rin's got rabies, you're gonna have to put him down like a dog. Saved by the power of boobs. Who the hell are you? You look like a douchebag. My dude literally half the people here are Satan's bastard children. I have zero memory of any of this. Charlie Brown asking the real questions here. Hey buddy, sorry we stole your family's heirloom magic sword. You see, my plan was to give this boy massive daddy issues and turn him loose on the devil. Ah hell we're back in Demon Slayer. Oh hey, she's cute. Of course the caustic bitch is sexist too. This would have taken three episodes of Demon Slayer with 20 solid minutes of tragic backstory for some rando we'd never seen before. And now, some bitch ghosts. Now go rip the nails out of their walls and get out of there. I hate your shitbag brother, guys. One Piece- Me and Corazon could have lived happily ever after with Tiny Law but noooo I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'm glad that kid escaped to one day be hot and also a dinosaur. Guns in this show only work in flashbacks. I can't believe you looked at Trebol and decided to keep him around. Pica's voice is never not hilarious. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. I'd like to get off this ride now please. I'd rather just get outright murdered than spend 20 seconds with Trebol. Hey man you can't smoke here, don't you know cigarettes will kill you. Tiny Cora also had it rough back in the day. Goddamn he's cool. Aaaand I'm crying. Man it's convenient that the navy just randomly picked up another kid at the same time. This is why everyone hates you, Doflamingo. Law stop rattling around in there you're gonna get caught. He tripped AND he's on fire! He was too cool for us. Oh this hurts. We didn't deserve Cora.

Slim pickins tonight ain't it. Exorcist- Girl take this opportunity to get yourself some friends who aren't a raging bitch. You don't wanna go to summer training camp that's where the loudest and bitchiest of you gets kidnapped by villains. Girl if you're gonna have a shit personality you could at least have the decency to be a decent cook. I hate the outdoors but Tits Mcgee could convince me to get drunk in the woods and neglect annoying kids. I constantly forget Puppet Kid exists. GODDAMN MOTHS. It's fine she's too busy getting drunk in the woods to notice you. Feed the caustic bitch to the lantern goblin. Good job Charlie Brown. There are approximately 2.5 brain cells in this group. Control your boners, kids. You dumb bastard. VENOMOTH, I CHOOSE YOU! Venemoth used Vine Whip, it's super effective! Aww look, you're friends now. How the hell did Puppet Kid manage that? Boob sword, go! Snaaaaake. Aren't you supposed to be watching your jackass brother, you useless dipshit? Yeah that's not suspicious at all that you called out not waterboarding him. Meanwhile, GUN. Shut up and take the stupid sword. Whelp, Shiemi's possessed. Gross. Tits Mcgee is doing pretty good considering she's probably about 16 beers deep by now. And then everyone got their bones snapped. So does nobody notice Mephisto sitting up there with popcorn? Fuck you and your stupid clock. One Piece- Oh this is gonna hurt. So how do I join the old lady's squad of all women hot marines? The one time guns do something in this show. Fun story, that boy jumping out of a window will one day grow up to be hot and also a dinosaur. Okay now shove that magic frut down that dying boy's throat. I love Corazon but I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'd like to go on record that flashbacks don't count towards my ongoing tally of hot men who get killed. Well hey, maybe for once the navy can be helpful. AW FUCK NOT THAT GUY. Ohhhhh this is not going well. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Your hair is stupid and you've got a wiener on your face, you shouldn't be that strong. I love that dumb flamingo boat. Maybe it's okay and Corazon gets away and he's just been busy this whole time. Oh, this is why regular Law has PTSD now. Aaaand I'm crying.

Mashle- Your first mistake was trusting a guy who willingly talks to a puppet. Oh hey, I guess his dad and the large man aren't hanging out in the woods anymore. I like that these two somehow became friends. I love these idiots so much. I respect Lemon and her thirst. Pay no attention to this weird schmuck floating ominously towards you. Whelp, you're fucked. Sweet, free cream puffs! Oh no, my cream puffs! He just hit you that hard with a pastry. Mash is a good boy there is not a single thought rolling around in that skull of his. Surprise assist from the Sharingan. RIP Mask Dude. Ohhhh them's fightin' words. I love it when Mash says exactly what I'm thinking. Joke's on you that boy's got abs of steel. Puppet boy you can have your existential crisis later, maybe do anything helpful. Oh sure, now you remember your mom's lesson about not be a bag of dicks. These two were definitely banging offscreen. So hey anybody maybe wanna step in and help here? Thanks, horrifying puppet abomination! PUNCH. What the hell, he's a rock. It's Punch Magic, you wouldn't get it. In a surprise twist, he used Kick Magic. This show is a gift. Okay then, that's a new one. Oh I don't like whatever giant mummy hand thing is happening here. The real magic was the friends we made along the way. Lemon is a fucking mood. Ah fuck we're caught. Now, cream puff time. Your dad seems like a real asshole. Exorcist- No seriously how was she hiding those boobs in that hoodie. Commece the jiggling! So like, does everybody just ignore the fact that their Japanese office is run by a demon who's also Satan's kid or have they just not noticed? Girl where the hell did you grow up. I can also be bamboozled by a huge rack, bamboobzled if you will. Again, does nobody care that Yukio is also the bastard child of the devil? Oh sure, now you respect the dad who raised and died for you. Snaaaaake. Lady I am once again asking what kinda tape you're using to keep those boobs restrained. I've only absorbed about half the dialogue of this episode. Tiny Rin sucks. Good thing you already adopted kids because that one just obliterated your nuts. Priest Dad was too cool for us. One Piece- Y'all can just kill Bellamy, please I'll pay you. Meanwhile Law, actively fighting his PTSD. I love Tiny Law he's such a little shit. Don't go back it's a trap! Ah shit he figured out you're a spy. I can't tell if Tiny Law is freakishly short or if Corazon is freakishly tall. He's a good adult in somebody's childhood flashback, there is no possible way this is gonna end well. I love that guy's random goat. Guys I'm sure this plan of taking down Doflamingo is gonna go off without a hitch. Tiny Law's not doing well. Goddammit Cora you precious idiot. God he's hot. Man, Tiny Law must have really hit a growth spurt to become Regular Law at some point. I love Cora he's so dumb. Hey boss, shit's on fire out here. Hey look, he gets to be cool for once! Oh no this flashback is going too well something's about to go very wrong. The one time guns do anything in this damn show.

Get you a man who will burn down eight hospitals in a row for his new forcibly-kidnapped adopted son.

Mashle- I'm deeply uncomfortable with whatever the hell's going on here. Shut up and get punched, jackass. Beat his ass, Mash! Awwwww baby Mash. Oh my god baby Mash. On a scale of Rin to Mash, how good is your relationship with your adopted dad voiced by Kirk Thornton? Use the annoying girl as a meatshield! Do not take Mash bowling. Ah shit freaky clown puppets. BEAT HIS ASS, MASH. Stop beating your own ass, Mash! Third option, just punch this dude in the dick. God I love our boy. He's so cool. Oh you dick. Sweet, free cream puff. Cream puffs are a matter of life and death. Oh that thing's looking real fucked up. Eat shit, douchebag. The strongest magic of all is just punching a dude really hard. I cast Broken Neck. Between this lady and Doflamingo's family, you really don't wanna be a rich person hanging out in a broke town. Cool motive, still murder. Yeah fun story can you just give us back our girlfriend and call it a day. Mash honey no he is a bad guy. Meanwhle, Dot's bleeding out in the next room. Yay! Lemon yelling out HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAND killed me. Now kiss. Dot broke. I love these idiots. The plot do be twisting. You're being impersonated by a gijinka for the Catholic Church. Who the hell are you?! Exorcist- Fucking weeb. Good news kids we're going to Disney World. Hey you leave Puppet Kid out of this. Someone get this girl a bra. The ghosts can fuck off I'm gonna go ride Space Mountain ten times. Control your boner you're at work. Now send this little dead child to hell where he belongs. Yeah sure run off alone like a dumbass. Your cunt demon brother has come to cockblock you. Thank god she's cute because she sure is incompetent. This guy's outfit is so, so ugly. Oh right, Hoodie Kid is secretly the lady with massive boobs right? Guys this is how you get banned from Disney World. That kid's already dead he doesn't have to give a shit if he gets hit with a steel girder. Now go back to hell, annoying child. What kind of dark magic is she using to keep those boobs contained. My focus on this show has been renewed. One Piece- Oh right, he talks. Ohh, he's got a fruit. No he's really just that clumsy. I get it man, every family has that one trainwreck of a sibling you have to work around. I forgot Vergo existed. I'm a grownup and "everyone lives in fear of the D" is not a thing that's making me laugh. Tiny Law is not having a great time here. Corazon spontaneously combusting the moment Law slamdunks him into a dumpster cracks me up. I can also easily be bribed with ice cream. I know this is gonna end tragically but Corazon can get it. Tiny Law is an evil little bastard. Awww look at Baby Dellinger. Show I can't read that. Look sometimes you gotta kidnap a child for their own good. Hey there Sengoku. Ohhhhh he's been undercover this whole time. GOAT. Fuck it's Vergo. Dude the government killed his entire town. Awwww Cora you're a good dude. Get you a man who will burn down a hospital for his forcibly-adopted son. Date me. I love this bumbling dumbass so much. The end of this flashback is gonna fucking hurt isn't it. Oh yeah, there's an actual fight going on.

Mashle- A new challenger appears. I want her to know I hate her. Bitches be crazy, Dot. Well hey good news buddy, you found somebody as desperate as you are. Joke's on you, Mash is just gonna find a way to punch through being a statue. Aww, Tiny Dot is adorable. His sister's cute. Beat her ass! Oh, so that's why he wears that dumb headband. No dude she's a bitch, pick on her all you want. Maybe sadsack roommate could manage to do anything at all. Whelp, Dot's dead. False alarm, we're good. They broke your spell and probably six ribs. Your hair is stupid and you should feel bad. At least the girl knows when to fold 'em. Y'know what I'm rooting for Stupid Hair on this. If that's your brother no wonder you're a sadsack failure who can't do anything. I love Mash so goddamn much. You're giving me Stranger Danger vibes. I appreciate that the power scaling spider makes bad puns. Congrats, you made another friend. Alright so we beat him up and loot his corpse, got it. Oh shit, a door he didn't immediately destroy...nevermind. Exorcist- Thar she blows! So why are the exorcists grilling seafood for school credit? You have stupid eyebrows and no boobs, go away. Good, let her drown. Child get better standards. Good news, Cthulhu's here. This kid is annoying as all fuck. Kid is your dad Zoro? Hope y'all like calamari. This teacher sucks. You're right, it is unusual for her to not be a total bitch to someone. Maybe the demon killed your dad because he sounds like he was annoying as all fuck. Let the cat eat the squid like nature intended. Way to suck and fail, you unlikable bitch. Good, let the kid die. Who needs spells when you can bring out a fucking harpoon. There are no brain cells appearing in this episode. Squid, get back here and kill them. Hey Rin, is this nice moment between father and son making you regret being such a piece of shit to your own dead dad? One Piece- Tiny Law had a whole lot of issues. We're like two levels deep in flashback territory this isn't gonna go well. Jesus I need a drink. Fuck you, small children we're torturing! I wouldn't normally say this but Doflamingo needs a hug. Doffy's parents were good people but boy howdy were they dumber than fucking bricks. Tiny Doffy was always terrible. I'm not saying this is how we should treat billionaires but I am taking notes. Hey maybe they're in this conveniently placed shack. In a surprising twist, this poorly-thought plan did not go well. Pandaman sighting! It just keeps getting worse! Man, menopause hit Giolla like a fucking freight train. Corazon can get it. Don't mind me just bleeding out in a corner. Corazon's a goddamn disaster I love him. Oh right, Law's still dying. Wait what. Oh hey, he talks.

No seriously, the fuck happened to Senior Pink between then and now. Mashle- Why are these kids named like a game of Madlibs. Look I'm not gonna complain if you take out the weird sisterfucker. Eat rock, douchebag. Whatcha got there, drugs? Dude your power is literally wet dirt I'm not gonna be scared of that. Wow what a shock your shitty dirt monster is losing. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Your shitty dad was right, you do suck and should be ashamed. Well that was anticlimactic. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. This could be going better. He's just a good boy who loves his dad. It's probably not a good thing that he's bleeding so much. Aw shit that's not good. Abs of steel right here. Ah hell he's got a sharingan. I love this dumb bastard. That's cheating why do you have like five different powers. Joke's on you the guy's just that strong. I love watching Mash hit dudes. Just make the kid wear an eyepatch, you stupid assholes. Lord who what now? Mash is a good boy and we don't deserve him. Exorcist- Cat. Too cheap to spring for some AC, huh? No shit you're staring from the bottom, you didn't know demons existed until like two months ago. He's right, Rin sucks. Your dad died to save you, you ungrateful sack of shit. Yukio and Iida would get along. Rin's the fucking worst. That's just standard cat behavior. "So your dad got the cat demon completely fucking plastered and it all ended well." Obviously the answer to just murder the shit out of it. It's fine it's not like he's got any brains in that skull to injure. So how is it their dad had this years-long friendship with the cat demon and yet Rin never saw the thing ever before at any point? The real answer was to get that cat absolutely fucking plastered again. One Piece- Tiny Law is not having a good time here. Holy shit what happened to Senior Pink. Law getting tossed into the garbage is still unreasonably funny. Aww look at baby Dillinger over there. Shut up Trebol. Pica's voice is still hilarious. Oh my god you can't just ask someone why they're white. Jesus christ Law. Tiny Baby 5 is adorable. Oh this is gonna get depressing real quick. Oh no he also had an adorable little sister. Surprise, it's lead poisoning. Oh, that's horrifying. It just keeps getting worse! No really,what the hell happened to Senior Pink. Nun lady this is absolutely a trap the government will 100% murder children without a second thought. Things are not going well today. Tiny Law broke. Admittedly I was not expecting this flashback to be quite this fucked up. For the love of god somebody please hug Tiny Law. Corazon, also not having a great day now.

Mashle- Hi random new guy, by random new guy. Exposition later, cream puffs now. Which one was Tom? Maybe he'd feel better if you brought him cream puffs. Oh no, not our bro! The worst nightmare of all, being forced to become a mime. Hey guys I think there's something suspicious going on here. Awww she made him a plushie. I respect mandatory girlfriend, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I love these idiots. Uhhhh guys I don't think that's normal. Boy your dick is gonna get you killed one day. You don't need a spell, Mash is good with doors. Mash vs Doors is still my favorite running gag. Are they running illegal puppet fights down here? Punch him in the dick! Dot the other boys aren't that much prettier than you. Fucking magic bureaucrats. Oh hey, a new subplot that I'm sure won't be important. Oh flowers, I'm so scared. And then he died. Hey, he won! This show is a gift. "I'm going under, save my baby" absolutely killed me. Beat him and break his stupid shitty glasses. Oh no it's a girl, Dot's done for. Oh I hate these two already. Punch him in the dick! Exorcist- Surprise, we let you get hurt for fun! She's right, she's a terrible bitch who can't work with others. No seriously what is Puppet Kid's deal. Hey dude why'd you try to kill my brother? He is absolutely going to try and kill your brother, don't trust him. I do love that little pokemon she's got. She may be completely incompetent but Shiemi's adorable. Surprise, evil Seitz is out here trying to kill your brother, again. So like, you realize Yukio is also the bastard son of the devil, right? I am not immume to evil Seitz yellling at me. "Wait, am I the asshole here?" Shiemi's trying her best here. Hey sorry I hired that guy who tried to murder your brother. There's something really funny about demons using cell phones in hell. One Piece- Uh hey Doffy you okay buddy? Meanwhile, everyone's dying. Even the navy's done with this shit. No shit the animals are panicking. Again, shoutout to Fujitoro for being one of like, five genuinely good marines. No dude they're also terrified as fuck here in addition to angry. Fuck you, Bellamy. Why the fuck is Trebol allowed to be here. I'm sure that mysterious secret he knows about the government won't be important. Oh shit it can do that? Show me what kinda unhealthy backstory these two have together. Tiny Law! Trebol, disgusting from the get-go. Uhhh hey Tiny Law you okay there kiddo? Oh that's rough. New guy's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. Okay him shotputting Tiny Law into a trash heap is unreasonably funny. Yes I know he's attacking children but he's kinda hot and I can fix him. And then he was on fire.

I managed to forget about Uzumaki in record time and that's honestly just kinda more sad than anything. Mashle- I appreciate the recap because I 100% don't remember last month. Him just standing there with that door is cracking me up. I love my dumb good fight son. Well it's good to know the puppet horror is reversible. BEAT HIS ASS, or not that works too I guess. There is no stronger power in this world dthan straight up not giving a fuck. Oh my god our boy is amazing. I would have absolutely let that guy die. Get your own room! Buddy you've got nothing to worry about, that dude only wants to bang his own sister. Mash vs doors is my favorite running gag. "I just wanna get a girlfriend" is a mood. Sorry girl, no gang bang for you today. Hoot hoot, motherfuckers. Let's beat them up and take their gold. Who invited Frankenstein. Owls are dicks. Mash no! And then he turned into a shark. Fuck them birds, my guy. No seriously, who gives a fuck about the birds. Wow, surprising how bringing a giant heavy thing to a fight with a guy that controls gravity didn't pan out well. I'm never lucky enough to see a lolisister fucker die. Mash doing a remarkable job for a guy actively drowning. I goddamn love this show. Fuck you and your stupid mask, loser. BEAT HIS ASS. Oh that ain't good there's somebody faster than our boy. Oh, shit. Exorcist- Oh right, that happened. Maybe you'd have some friends if you weren't such a heinous bitch. I mean he's Satan, does he need a dedicated reason to kill you? So why are y'all not just shouting this shit out of a megaphone in every fight? I hope she dies. Hey now, what did Puppet Kid do to deserve having his dick smashed? Quick, use the unlikable bitch as a meatshield! Surprise, there's two horrible ghouls. Charlie Brown with the assist here. Don't need a good memory when you have a good stick. I already forgot about Eyepatch Seitz again. I think those ghost dogs should rip her limb from limb. Seriously girl you have gotta get better standards for your friends. One Piece- You can go ahead and kill Trebol any time you want, please I'm begging you I'll pay you. Look we should just appreciate that Luffy was able to follow a plan for a whole like, five minutes. Man, Sabo's hot. Koala's so cute. These two are absolutely fucking. Shoutout to Fujitora for being a genuinely good dude. Usopp is popular today. My petty ass would definitely just let everyone die. Thanks, random knife guy! Yes, you all suck and should feel bad about yourselves. That crippling gambling addiction probably isn't great but other than that, Fujitora's the best. God, Law's so cool. I'd honestly rather die than have to be within ten feet of Trebol. Law has returned to having the worst fucking day. You shoudl just kill Bellamy. This fight could be going better. Ah hell of course he's one of those assholes. Oh this is gonna be a fucked up backstory. Uhhh hey Doffy you okay there buddy?

My Christmas gift is being able to sleep before midnight on Saturday for the rest of the year. Mashle- Give him a second, Mash is just processing the tragic loss of his snack. My dude you absolutely cannot handle it. You're a very dumb boy but a good boy. And then he died. I'm sure you didn't need most of those organs that just ruptured. Maybe focus your attention on a girl who's not a total bitch. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. Joke's on you, magic is no match for raw physical violence. I love watching violence. That's one, fuckface. Punch him in the dick next! Hey look a diversion. He just backhanded that thing into next month. Fuck off, you horrible brat. We stan a gender-inclusive violence boy. Contractually-mandated girlfriend is adorable. I can't wait to see that entire dorm get punch-murdered. Hey kiddo your pants are glowing. Wooow. Ah yes, the good ol' Sorting Unicorn Skeleton. This show is a gift. Mash's only weakness is doors. No really what the fuck is with the creepy puppet doll. What the fuck did I just watch. What the fuck. Mash buddy we gotta get out of here, this shit ain't right. Exorcist- Has that other girl tried not being an unlikable bitch? In his defense, his brother's told him absolute jack shit about the job. Choose the one with the rifle. I would still try to pet that hellhound. That little pokemon is adorable. Oh honey have some standards for your friends. I always forget that weird puppet kid exists. Calm down there, Mineta. Tonight's theme is terrible girls who should fuck off forever. We'll have so much fun fighting demons together in situations that might kill us! This is your fault and you should feel bad. That pokemon is the only competent character in this episode. Put some pants on, you embarassing shrew. I'm sure she doesn't hate you but I sure do. I forgot eyepatch Seitz is evil. One Piece- Who the fuck let Trebol in here. Can we get Cabbage's horse some medical attention now please. Man, random henchmen are really fucking stupid. I just got disgust whiplash from being jumpscared by Trebol's face. Just let Bellamy die. He sucks and deserves to suffer for his failures. Cry harder, bitch boy. Doflamingo may be a monster but I'm 100% with him on this. I like seeing Bellamy get hurt. I'm actually with Trebol here, that shit was hilarious. I mean he does have a point, Law did walk up and start throwing the first punch here. Oooh is it finally tragic backstory time? Law's so cool. I fully approve of using Bellamy as a meatshield. Meanwhile, shenanigans. I still find the Grandpa Fight unreasonably funny. MY WIFE. Shippin' it. I know so many people who would give everything they have to get the shit kicked out of the mby giant Robin legs. I am so here for the Man Fight. I'd tell these fangirls to have some standards but I can and have done worse. Please punch the shit out of Bellamy. Luffy I've seen you punch your friends in the face before, that's no excuse. Oh my god Law did you really think he could follow a plan. Hey at least it looks cool. Man, Law's really hot. Not a bad place to leave off for the year, I guess.