Doom Metal Alchemist

I thought you didn't like using helium.

But what about:

I don't know, I may have a long time ago.

You're at risk of being called a hipster.

Happy birthday, have a slice of cake!

Preeeeeeeeeetty sure it's your past suicide attempts, not your bipolar diagnosis.

Not your worst one. EDIT: Maybe I would've liked it more if I had actually played D&D.

Oh dear lord how did you manage that?

Horn-sure?

Why do you post stuff like this? Do you enjoy it when users like buddy, stilgar, and midnight tell you how horrible you are?

I don't remember a Savage Garden song called Santa Monica, but I remember an Everclear song called Santa Monica. I hate it, always have, the guitar playing is garbage. And it somehow found it's way back onto the radio in recent years.

Well good on ya for numbers 2 and 3, but sounds like you fucked over number 1 with horrible advice.

Phillies would never care about fixing his sleep cycle.

I still drink Mountain Dew all the time. I drink one with "lunch" at work every night.

Do I even want to know what that "Go-Go juice" is that Honey Boo-Boo is drinking?

What about a plastic cup? Those don't break so easily.

They say the antichrist will appear as a very attractive man...

What about twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc.

At the KKK meetings: "What do we hate?" "BLACKS!" "What else do we hate?" "JEWS!" "What else do we hate?" "WORKING THE NIGHT SHIFT!"

lol. I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer. Now, I'm not intentionally waiting until I get some groupies, but I guess optimism for the future is overriding any desperation I may have in the present. I don't want to get into specifics, but my mom is very fragile emotionally.

I know you all must be thinking, "Man, 35 year old virgin, he must be so desperate to lose his v-card." But I'm really not. Of course, I would like to lose my virginity. But it's not at all a high priority. I'm not really interested in having sex with someone I don't find attractive just to say I did it. In a certain respect, my thinking is similar to how Buddy's was. I'm in a band, once we start gigging, hopefully it'll happen organically, despite my best efforts to self-sabotage.

I listen to these bible verses: This one is the very beginning of the song. This one at 4:45.

You want to beat up your elderly black mother for cooking soul food?

My parents took me and my brother to Disney Land when I was 2 years old. My whole life I just take their word for it.

No one says it with an exclamation point.