Doom Metal Alchemist

As close as I get to French porn is a porn star who is ethnically French but is actually from Germany.

A couple days ago, my package arrived from France to a customs (?) office in New York (don't remember which city). Almost 2 entire days later (pretty much 46 hours), it arrived in... Queens, New York. WTF gives? @1pooh4u is this normal?

Damn, the word "hipster" is MUCH older than I thought.

Remember back in the old days on ASMB 500 posts in one day was hard NOT to do?

During the whole "Nabs died in a car crash" thing Buddy perpetuated it, which is why I believed it until Nabs came back. Buddy is not trustworthy enough to not joke about Nabs' death.

Ha, I haven't been banned in 15 years.

"Bust." Get it? BECAUSE BALLOONS GO BANG.

I'm not at all a big Rush fan, but Working Man rules hard.

Wait until you see Martha Stewart and Carol Leifer on TV / Internet and think to yourself, "Yeah... she's pretty hot," regarding each of them.

I actually just got my very first tattoo last Saturday. It would be cool to get a couple more, but I don't want to just because OMG IT FUCKING HURT. And I purposely got something relatively small and simple in an effort to minimize the pain. Seriously, I don't think I would have been able to take it at all if it weren't for the artists' need to frequently wipe up the excess ink. I kinda think they don't really need to, they just do that to give the tattooee moments of respite so the pain is bearable.

Surprise twist: I AM your bf!

WAT

I don't know. My initials currently spell out 'smh', so that's pretty cool.

We've found frogs in our pool before. Sometimes live and swimming, sometimes dead.... but never any mammals.

Did he have a thick German accent?

I got a need.... a need, for WEED!

For some reason, while in-ground pools are generally seen as luxury, above ground pools are generally seen as tacky. I have no idea why.

She was talking to you, pal.

I figured he was putting on a stereotypical Japanese accent.

*doesn't watch vid but notices thumbnail* Goddamn I didn't think Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn Jenner until recently.

I can't tell if you're acting like a ghost or telling Skiles his joke sucks.

That is a good song. I finally got my first Ted Nugent album maybe a couple months ago, Cat Scratch Fever. Didn't think much of it.

That's not exactly the most flattering picture of her.... Who do I think is the most beautiful woman ever? Probably down to this chick from Spain I went to grad school with or Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima.

Happy birthday!