Mix

ok, i'm gonna get on twitter for the sole purpose of following unevenedge.....no doubt I regret this in morning during the couple of hours i'm sober while eating breakfast and commuting to a job where these morons think i'm the dependable office nerd.... #deskflask #fakesmile #officespace #mydreamofdoingnothing

happy birthday, bruv

I dream every time I sleep....they rarely make sense and the nightmare begins when I wake up....it's a surgical summer

this ^

I mean......a green card's a green card, ya dig

last night we said a lot of things.....look, i'm not good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see the problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world....I know if you don't marry this girl you'll regret it...maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.... we'll always have Paris

RIP the last pets i'll ever have.....they deserved better

y'know, the mental image of you, shirtless, in your mom's living room, tracking women on a dating site..... finally managed to make me think you might be the creep people say you are.... I think it's time to stop

@katt_goddess pointed this out like a year ago.....just sayin' >.>

damn.....I appreciate you @JeNewBee they just don't see the value in the service you provide....I, again, offer my services as a manager

that's not quebecelegy.....that man is not pretty enough....the sort of pretty you would find in a Nathalie Emmanuel or an Alexis Bledel....

I thought you went back to....I want to say rehab, but I think it was the looney bin

she smiled and watched me crumble

i'll be over with an oz of sour diesel and a blueray of the Fantastic Mr. Fox

I want to fit in so much i'm gonna take up smoking just to quit it with you fine fellows ....three years later = heroin addict

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but........aren't you homeless?

I've heard of such miracles but never imagined they had actually come to pass

that speech is a bitch....that bachelor party though

exactly

but...I already went to the bathroom