Houdini Splicer

No, I fling poo.

He kindly deposited a log for it to climb onto, saving its life. Then he flushed it.

Might as well just put it in the garbage. That's just nasty.

Damn, it has been a long-ass time since I last saw this. Nostalgia trip.

Don't feel too bad. The cat would turn its nose up at that shit. But, if it was feeling brave (read: stupid), and actually took a bite, it could always lick its asshole for an hour, to get the taste out of its mouth.

At first glance, I thought it was cat food.

Yes.

She just called... to say... YOU NASTY!

Oh, I like that one. I had the same thing happen a few weeks ago listening to that exact song. It's not earth-shattering or anything, but I wouldn't call it terrible. I enjoyed hearing it again. Yep, I'm weird, and, nope, I don't care.

It was the first thing I thought of. And it was the perfect thing. I think so, anyway.

Professional motorboating.

Yes, a couple.

I never had it, or mumps, or measles. I'm not 100% positive I was vaccinated for it, but I think I was. If not, well, damn.

Happy Birthday!

I think you've won "free kick to the nads for life". Congrats.

Real alphas don't have to say anything, because real alphas don't get disrespected like that. You're such a beta, Zeni.

You make your mom put on a blonde wig? You're one twisted sumbitch, boy.

You shut your whore mouth, buttnugget. Um, I mean, I disagree. Nah, I meant what I said. Bitch.

Yep, I got mad skillz, yo.

We can fix that...

All this, and more, on tonight's edition of... "Conversations with the Mirror"

Dude... what? Stay off crack. So why even have the chair in the photo? You just wanted to show people the 'before' pic of your garbage throne, before you added the final touches to it, which includes the sybian posted earlier.

translated - *goes and chokes his chicken while thinking about his grandma*