Houdini Splicer

Why in the blue hell do you have a photo of a desk chair in the garbage?

I couldn't hear what the hell was being said. And I'm okay with that.

Another conversation with the mirror, eh?

No, that is failure you smell, beta boy. Plus the cheap liquor.

Dammit, that's just ketchup. Cheap bastard.

You can snack on the leftovers in the trash without anyone seeing you?

Was it the creepy uncle with the lazy eye and the cleft palate? You poor bastard. (I meant the uncle, not you.)

Yep, that part looks about right.

Yeah, Zeni. A true alpha would never do that. Beta status confirmed.

Not without cops getting involved, no.

You should go sit by one, anyway, and see how quickly they all spray you with mace. Make sure you record it on your phone. You know, for your court case science.

Settle down, killer. Focus on the babes. Or, your hand, which is as close as you'll get.

You should give her a thoughtful gift... perhaps some roadkill neatly placed on the hood of her car, with the words "Thinking of you - XOXO" written on the windshield with the dead animal's viscera. Nothing says love quite like that. I guaran-damn-tee you it will leave a lasting impression.

Work (hopefully not). Take my mom out to dinner for her birthday, if I'm off.

Oh, that's good. Much better than some nasty ol' tapeworm.

Happy Birthday!

It's a tapeworm...

Why are you telling me this? More importantly, how'd you get in my house? Oh, ladies...

Just sitting here, reading through this thread like: With the same expression, sitting the same way, taking it all in...

A real alpha would have taken them all out, and anyone calling the cops would catch hands, too. What a beta. No wonder you're still a virgin.

The video had better have some chair throwing in it. For something this emotional, to not have it would be a travesty. Maybe break some stuff, too. Hells yeah!

...for the last 12 years.

Rebecca...

I don't know, I've been pretty entertained by it. That isn't saying much, I know, but...

I've always thought so.