Houdini Splicer

You made a thread, just to tell us that? Oh, and in the title, you spelled "fatter" wrong.

Just think about how many times Reese jerked it to that old photo of Sarah Connor. Now, think about how many times you jerked it to pics of teen girls on OKC. Think you're similar in that regard? Perhaps, but at least Reese got to have sex with the woman he desired. You have... what? Your hand, and the tattered, dried-semen-encrusted remains of a stuffed tiger? You sad, sick, little monkey. Everyone knows the real creep here is you.

Go masturbate with a cheese grater, creep.

The world may never know.

Bummer.

Well, do you ever try to cheer her up?

She doesn't look like she's all that enthused to be holding it, anyway.

It was your mom. You drunkenly tried to cop a feel, so she got up, ran into her room, locked the door, and dialed 9-1- just waiting for you to try to open the door before she hit the other 1.

Yep.

Well said.

Son of a bitch.

Dammit, someone said its name three times, and summoned it back to our realm.

Uncontrollable laughter has that effect on some people.

And when you're talking about hair rustling in the wind, you're talking about your back hair, right? Because you don't have enough hair on that rat turd head of yours to rustle, or wave. Just look greasy.

Uh huh. So, what do you do, since everyone here knows you're more like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, than a "ripped lone wolf alpha male warrior"?

So, your hand gets frightened. Hmm... well, damn.

Unlimited power!!!

Huh. Being honest with yourself, is the first step to... well, something. You're still a creepy little bastard.

Your hand will be with you. Always. Creepy little bastard.

Nah, he just meant he was jerkin' it in the back of the bus, to someone in the front.

You are this drunk, and, here's the twist: you're the one that died, not him. Ain't that some wild shit?

Pulled your pud in the back of the bus while creeping on some kid, eh?

No, I don't. Don't think I ever have.

I'm sorry for your loss.