The_annoying_one

Plays drums in a Weird Al polka cover band.

Has never laughed.

Ringtone is Pee-Wee Herman laughing.

Once published a book of hundreds of blank pages…with a drawing of a stick figure on the last page.

It was in a plastic container with a pull tab. Didn’t look secure enough for me so I just tossed it. No big deal, I guess.

Grilled some cheeseburgers and had a few fries.

All I know is, I have been looking forward to this junk food for at least a week now. Lesson learned, I suppose.

Goes to world-renowned steakhouses and orders chicken.

The temperature has been around 80° for the past few days, and the container that the dip was in was room temperature. I’d much rather throw $5 in the trash than risk food poisoning.

Is making a documentary about colby jack cheese.

I bought some potato chip dip from Amazon because it’s apparently not sold anywhere nearby. The package was delayed for a day or two and the dip is dairy-based. Probably sat on the truck without refrigeration for a day or two. Worth the risk or should I just chunk it?

Wrote Sylvester Stallone a letter asking him to please save humanity from the aliens.

I’m hot, I’ve barely slept, my head kind of hurts, potential really bad weather late tonight, and I’m taking everything personally today.

That moment when everything finally turns peaceful, even if only for a short time, should never be taken for granted.

Was in charge of stuffing Mr. Socko down Mankind’s pants.

Alright, Doomy!

Chicken & rice….if it ever gets ready.

Has a bowl full of water hanging above his front door with a string.

From this point forward, I will be referring to any and all children as “semen demons”. That is all.

Boils popsicles before eating them.

Is the wind beneath Bette Midler’s wings.

Once bought a matchbox 20 album, thinking it was some kind of special anniversary collector’s item. Is still royally pissed about that.