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This one time on tinder

That_One_Guy

By That_One_Guy
in Free-For-All

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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
Posted

I met this asian lady and had the strangest sexual encounter ever. We matched and almost immediately started talking about sex. She gave me her address and I drove to this dark kinda shitty neighborhood in the southside of pittsburgh. She poked her head out and asked me If I was the dude from tinder. Then she hugged me....which was weird as shit. Anyways, she gave me a blowjob and then vigorously cleaned my penis with baby wipes and a very soft towel. She also commented that my penis was a very nice color. I never saw or heard from her again because she deleted her account afterward. I never learned her name. Our entire knowledge of each other consisted of a sexual conversation, a blowjob, and a penis cleaning.

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Mix Monster Mutant

Mix

Posted
Posted

- The topic of conversation never shifted from the only thing you cared about

- You received, but didn't have to give

- She cleaned and complemented your dick afterward

- She never bothered you again

:|

 

You're one ungrateful motherfucker xD

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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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Just now, Mix said:

- The topic of conversation never shifted from the only thing you cared about

- You received, but didn't have to give

- She cleaned and complemented your dick afterward

- She never bothered you again

:|

 

You're one ungrateful motherfucker xD

I'm trash as fuck

Sawdamizer Monster Mutant

Sawdamizer

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Posted
8 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

You probably slammed so many whores

When I was single and living on Cape Cod.... they came from all over and well.... I was happy to provide a bed for their weary heads to rest.... my house was on the beach and.... they wanted to make mistakes.... I was happy to oblige.

It became reckless.... and a lot of these girls were married or had boyfriends and were on vacation with friends or family...

In hindsight.... I wouldn't do it again. I made it to work the next day, they did their "walk" of shame... and I'd occasionally get a Facebook friend request that I would typically decline... idk.... 

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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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1 minute ago, Sawdamizer said:

When I was single and living on Cape Cod.... they came from all over and well.... I was happy to provide a bed for their weary heads to rest.... my house was on the beach and.... they wanted to make mistakes.... I was happy to oblige.

It became reckless.... and a lot of these girls were married or had boyfriends and were on vacation with friends or family...

In hindsight.... I wouldn't do it again. I made it to work the next day, they did their "walk" of shame... and I'd occasionally get a Facebook friend request that I would typically decline... idk.... 

Why did you make your fuckboy exploits sound like the midnight ride of Paul Revere 😂

Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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Posted
21 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Yeah but I forgot I talked about this already. I'm fucking boring. This thread was a mistake 😭

thats ok ppl need to know 

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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4 minutes ago, Poof said:

thats ok ppl need to know 

Not really. Tbh I feel like I annoy ppl here fr. I'm not like depressed about it but at the same time I think I should slow down posting bas much

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Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Not really. Tbh I feel like I annoy ppl here fr. I'm not like depressed about it but at the same time I think I should slow down posting bas much

put it in df if u think its too graphic

PhilosipherStoned Monster Mutant

PhilosipherStoned

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1 hour ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

1. Your posts range from good to great. Can't speak for the others, but they sure don't bother me.

2. If it makes you feel any better, I don't remember this story nor any sexual story involving spaghetti, and I really want to hear it now.

Wait I stopped reading a bit before the part were she scrubbed his dick with a baby wipe or whatever...Was their spaghetti involved if so I change my opinion.

Can I get a hook up plz?

Doom Metal Alchemist Monster Mutant

Doom Metal Alchemist

Posted
Posted
Just now, PhilosipherStoned said:

Wait I stopped reading a bit before the part were she scrubbed his dick with a baby wipe or whatever...Was their spaghetti involved if so I change my opinion.

Can I get a hook up plz?

I guess, as the thread continued:

6 hours ago, Vamped said:

Is this the one with the spaghetti?

 

 

6 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

Holy fuck have I already told this story? I'm fucking boring

So it looks like spaghetti was indeed involved, but I want to know how.

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BlackNoir Megastar

BlackNoir

Posted
Posted

Yeah, I remember this too....As soon as you said "Asian lady" I was like "this again?"

But yeah, this is how tinder works.  I too made the mistake of trying to chat them broads up.....Nope, ask to fuck....if she gets offended, the SHE'S in the wrong place.

 

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Still Me Monster Mutant

Still Me

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Posted

I got rid of tinder a while ago. My experience was awful...I was lead on and breadcrumbed for 8 months by a guy that dropped me like a damn rock after he found what he wanted...but yet STILL calls me because he’s a “good guy”.

 

just fuckin...punch me in the fucking face...

Sawdamizer Monster Mutant

Sawdamizer

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1 hour ago, Still Me said:

I got rid of tinder a while ago. My experience was awful...I was lead on and breadcrumbed for 8 months by a guy that dropped me like a damn rock after he found what he wanted...but yet STILL calls me because he’s a “good guy”.

 

just fuckin...punch me in the fucking face...

Dude spent 8 months trying to smash? That's not typical tinder.... 

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Still Me Monster Mutant

Still Me

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Sawdamizer said:

Dude spent 8 months trying to smash? That's not typical tinder.... 

Oh no, he got it day one. But kept stringing me along acting like he wanted me for more. 

Edited by Still Me
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BlackNoir Megastar

BlackNoir

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Posted
2 hours ago, Still Me said:

Oh no, he got it day one. But kept stringing me along acting like he wanted me for more. 

Rule 8 of tinder....Disengage.

Do not entertain further contact....I think that this might be in their ToS in so many words

Still Me Monster Mutant

Still Me

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1 hour ago, BlackNoir said:

Rule 8 of tinder....Disengage.

Do not entertain further contact....I think that this might be in their ToS in so many words

Na, he has someone now. But still fucking calls me. He called me on Valentine’s, and this past Friday....but I don’t engage with him. I don’t text or call....I feel like when his relationship goes to shit he will come knocking...not anymore...he crippled me the last time, I’m not doing it again

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Sawdamizer Monster Mutant

Sawdamizer

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Posted
17 minutes ago, Still Me said:

Na, he has someone now. But still fucking calls me. He called me on Valentine’s, and this past Friday....but I don’t engage with him. I don’t text or call....I feel like when his relationship goes to shit he will come knocking...not anymore...he crippled me the last time, I’m not doing it again

The cop?

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Still Me Monster Mutant

Still Me

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7 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

Cops like that scare the shit out of me.

Yeah well I can’t attest as to how he does his job so I can’t help you with the cop hate there...but needless to say the tattoo thread was based around it...

scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

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2 hours ago, Still Me said:

Yeah well I can’t attest as to how he does his job so I can’t help you with the cop hate there...but needless to say the tattoo thread was based around it...

This has nothing to do with cop hate.  Pretty sure dudes with that kind of entitlement are abusive no matter what they do, but giving them a badge and gun makes them dangerous.

Still Me Monster Mutant

Still Me

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20 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

This has nothing to do with cop hate.  Pretty sure dudes with that kind of entitlement are abusive no matter what they do, but giving them a badge and gun makes them dangerous.

Yeah

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Sawdamizer Monster Mutant

Sawdamizer

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Posted
1 hour ago, Poof said:

This reminds me of this time I gave a guy a bj on a plane...

I've got one of those... I don't think it was you... but I returned the favor with some fingers.... stupid drunks

Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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Posted
1 hour ago, Sawdamizer said:

I've got one of those... I don't think it was you... but I returned the favor with some fingers.... stupid drunks

What are you telling me

Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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Posted
On 2/28/2021 at 1:40 PM, Still Me said:

he crippled me the last time, I’m not doing it again

is this the chiropractor who punished your buttocks? 

Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Sawdamizer said:

 

EgaNdGn.jpg

you said "I've got one of those" so ok unless you want to tell me I will just take it literally and assume you have your own story about giving a guy a bj on a plane except you also fingered him

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scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

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Posted
21 minutes ago, Poof said:

you said "I've got one of those" so ok unless you want to tell me I will just take it literally and assume you have your own story about giving a guy a bj on a plane except you also fingered him

He said he didn't think it was you, so it better not have been a guy.

Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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26 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Does that count for the mile high club, or does it have to be intercourse?

I thought it counted. If it doesn’t then I still have work to do

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