Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 -They closed down the gyms today. I demanded they be re-opened but they hahahahahahaha jk I bought a ton o booze -I took enough liquids and herbs to insure that my body was not suitable for viral infestation -Spent thirty minutes putting pressure on my thumb because the blood moving under the nail looked like a lava lamp -Watched Natural Born Killers -Took more herbs as I was left disconcerted by the movie and thought this would help.............it didn't -Paranoid, I took a bath to sooth myself..........The walls were closing in, I thought I was going to die -took a short nap......woke up six hours later Quarantine is fun guys ! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaBarney Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Day 1- all the bars are closed. Looks like I'll be getting about six hours a week at work. Hoping they'll keep the buses running. Not sure what I'll do if this goes on for too long, right now just getting drunk and high Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Day 1 - haven't run out of weed yet 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Quarantined? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 11 minutes ago, cyberbully said: Quarantined? nah, just dickin' around.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 23 minutes ago, Nablotson said: Day 1- all the bars are closed. Looks like I'll be getting about six hours a week at work. Hoping they'll keep the buses running. Not sure what I'll do if this goes on for too long, right now just getting drunk and high i'm gonna miss you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Just now, Mix said: nah, just dickin' around.... It seems I have lost all sense of humor.....That's strike 2 for me on mix tales that I took seriously for some odd reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helpme Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Work is closed for 14 days I'm literally out of a job and unemployment site is crashing under the pressure of applicants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 22 minutes ago, Poof said: Day 1 - haven't run out of weed yet memba the days when the shit was illegal and every now and then all the dealers would run out and you'd call everyone you knew like it was the end of the world simpler times, them was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaBarney Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 1 minute ago, Mix said: memba the days when the shit was illegal and every now and then all the dealers would run out and you'd call everyone you knew like it was the end of the world simpler times, them was Still the reality in red states! We still have droughts, it's crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, cyberbully said: It seems I have lost all sense of humor.....That's strike 2 for me on mix tales that I took seriously for some odd reason. never take me seriously I'm a guy who made a list of jokes as options of things to say as I lay dying I'm a guy who pretended to be deaf or blind for the entire first day of every new school I attended (5, 6 if we're counting highschool) I'm a guy who got his dick pierced for a joke.........turns out the joke was on me I'm a guy who is actually a girl.....i'm a girl.....I've been lying to you all for years.....why.....why not I'm a guy who just lied to you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 12 minutes ago, helpme said: Work is closed for 14 days I'm literally out of a job and unemployment site is crashing under the pressure of applicants I don't know if you have connections, but this is the time to start selling weed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 I wish I had beer, sigh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 10 minutes ago, Nablotson said: Still the reality in red states! We still have droughts, it's crazy shhhh, it's not going to be long now 😢 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 1 minute ago, CAC said: I wish I had beer, sigh... I got plenty, brother.....come on over and throw back a few with me All offers subject to strict blood, urine, stool, and saliva testing. 48 hour quarantine mandatory. Strip search and cavity search mandatory. Tracking chip installation mandatory. Side effects of tracking chip may include, but are not limited to headaches, nose bleeds, sleep walking, sleep running, sleep driving, sleep cooking, sleep eating, sleep murder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Mix said: I got plenty, brother.....come on over and throw back a few with me All offers subject to strict blood, urine, stool, and saliva testing. 48 hour quarantine mandatory. Strip search and cavity search mandatory. Tracking chip installation mandatory. Side effects of tracking chip may include, but are not limited to headaches, nose bleeds, sleep walking, sleep running, sleep driving, sleep cooking, sleep eating, sleep murder. Sure! Also, sleep running is a plus, I need to lose weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helpme Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Mix said: I don't know if you have connections, but this is the time to start selling weed Connections? Weed is legal here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Mix said: memba the days when the shit was illegal and every now and then all the dealers would run out and you'd call everyone you knew like it was the end of the world simpler times, them was somebody always has something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, helpme said: Connections? Weed is legal here this is the one situation where that's actually bad news....you can't compete with the dispensaries welp, plan B.....you're going to have to do some cam work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Poof said: somebody always has something yeah, and that something was not weed and maybe probably could possibly have you on top of a Wendy's roof showing all god's creatures your money maker simpler times, them was Edited March 17, 2020 by Mix 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helpme Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 14 minutes ago, Mix said: this is the one situation where that's actually bad news....you can't compete with the dispensaries welp, plan B.....you're going to have to do some cam work I'll just go back to retail since they're hiring temp workers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 17 minutes ago, Mix said: yeah, and that something was not weed and maybe probably could possibly have you on top of a Wendy's roof showing all god's creatures your money maker simpler times, them was you have to take that risk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molarbear Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Mix said: memba the days when the shit was illegal and every now and then all the dealers would run out and you'd call everyone you knew like it was the end of the world simpler times, them was I member in College it was all schwag and we'd get excited if it had a lot of red hairs in it Then one day a guy charged us way more than normal and the shit was blue, we smoked the normal amount and to this day I'm convinced an Alien spoke to me telepathically for at least 3 hours 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, molarbear said: I member in College it was all schwag and we'd get excited if it had a lot of red hairs in it Then one day a guy charged us way more than normal and the shit was blue, we smoked the normal amount and to this day I'm convinced an Alien spoke to me telepathically for at least 3 hours Them.wuz.the.dayz The first time I had sour diesel I thought I was time traveling Edited March 17, 2020 by Mix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seight Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 I watched Detective Pikachu yesterday. It was better than I was expecting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 8 hours ago, molarbear said: I member in College it was all schwag and we'd get excited if it had a lot of red hairs in it Then one day a guy charged us way more than normal and the shit was blue, we smoked the normal amount and to this day I'm convinced an Alien spoke to me telepathically for at least 3 hours .....You are way cooler than I thought. Why did I think you were like mormon or some shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 i saw something, and now i shall refer to this self quarantine as being exiled for the good of the realm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackymckrackin Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 11 hours ago, Nablotson said: Still the reality in red states! We still have droughts, it's crazy You're so full of shit your eyes are brown. Not once had this state, (red state) ran out of weed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 13 hours ago, Poof said: Day 1 - haven't run out of weed yet wow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 me i dont know if i have to go to work tomorow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 31 minutes ago, ghostrek said: wow? So wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molarbear Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 5 hours ago, cyberbully said: .....You are way cooler than I thought. Why did I think you were like mormon or some shit. I dunno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 I had to settle for rye bread instead of marble rye bread at the store. This will be a piss poor Ruben tonight will be the true tragedy of this that I'll tell people about years from now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 17, 2020 Author Share Posted March 17, 2020 34 minutes ago, HardcoreHunter said: I had to settle for rye bread instead of marble rye bread at the store. This will be a piss poor Ruben tonight will be the true tragedy of this that I'll tell people about years from now. I can see it now.....years down the road.....as the reavers turn your body on a spit..... You: Marble rye bread is what you want. Reavers: ??? You: Especially for the thigh meat. Reavers: ??? You: I remember once when I had to settle for rye bread. Ruined everything Reavers: ??? Reaver 1: What's rye bread? Reaver 2: I think there's a guy named Ryan in the pen Reaver 1: Go make bread out of him Reaver 2: ok.........what's bread? Reaver 1: Ask him then make it out of him Reaver 2: Good plan. That's why you're reaver one. You got the brains. Reaver 1: I just wish I had some fava beans and a nice chianti to enjoy them with. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Herbs 😆 Y'all acting like you can't workout in your house and need to be out 24/7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 6 minutes ago, Mewn said: Herbs 😆 Y'all acting like you can't workout in your house and need to be out 24/7. Uh, excuse me, madame....I don't go to the gym to work out, I go there to check out jangly booties while I sit on an exercise bike I splashed water on to make it look like I'm sweating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, Mix said: Uh, excuse me, madame....I don't go to the gym to work out, I go there to check out jangly booties while I sit on an exercise bike I splashed water on to make it look like I'm sweating 😆 I'm sure there's something like this on the internet somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 27 minutes ago, Mewn said: 😆 I'm sure there's something like this on the internet somewhere. OK, so I took your advise and went looking.....and......well.......I'm on a watch list now 😔 I'm not allowed within 500 yards of an exercise bike 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 6 minutes ago, Mix said: OK, so I took your advise and went looking.....and......well.......I'm on a watch list now 😔 I'm not allowed within 500 yards of an exercise bike Shit, sorry bro. 😆 In other news: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-51910099?at_medium=custom7&at_custom3=%40BBCWorld&at_custom2=twitter&at_campaign=64&at_custom4=2F7E1AB8-6989-11EA-A422-8DC24744363C&at_custom1=[post+type] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, Mewn said: Shit, sorry bro. 😆 In other news: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-51910099?at_medium=custom7&at_custom3=%40BBCWorld&at_custom2=twitter&at_campaign=64&at_custom4=2F7E1AB8-6989-11EA-A422-8DC24744363C&at_custom1=[post+type] What does cow piss taste like? I can tell you if it's anything like goat piss you're gonna want to water it down A LOT...you know what I mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 First it was Eat, Pray, Love....Now it's Eat, Drink Piss....The Indian Tourism Board is losing its touch I like that joke better.....let's go with that one....what...the speech to text is what.....SHIT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cau Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Why are you in quarantine, is something going on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 33 minutes ago, Cau said: Why are you in quarantine, is something going on? No.....I mean I sneezed last week, but aside from that i'm fine Why, were you worried about me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cau Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 8 minutes ago, Mix said: No.....I mean I sneezed last week, but aside from that i'm fine Why, were you worried about me? The joke was that I was pretending to not know the virus was a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 Just now, Cau said: The joke was that I was pretending to not know the virus was a thing. Nah, you were worried 'bout meh......cause ya luv meh 😝 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilosipherStoned Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 I think it's only beginning to actually take root here.. The metropolitan area closest to me just now has a few confirmed cases, but the way people are probably ill equipped for this sort of thing here could effect the level of danger.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackNoir Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Mix said: Nah, you were worried 'bout meh......cause ya luv meh 😝 Well, you are pretty meh. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted March 19, 2020 Author Share Posted March 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Radical Left said: Well, you are pretty meh. You're better than this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackNoir Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 3 minutes ago, Mix said: You're better than this LIES.... Lies and blatant propaganda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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