Gina Szanboti Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 I've told this before, but I don't have any new stories since I stopped interacting with people. The hands-down weirdest thing that I can recall was when I was in Alice Springs in Australia. I was sitting in front of the Greyhound station, looking down at my maps trying to figure out what to do next, when suddenly I heard, "[my name]!" I looked up to see a person I couldn't recall ever seeing before, then looked around to see if I'd misheard and they were calling to someone else, but they were looking expectantly at me, and clearly knew me. Seeing as how I was 13,000 miles away from home in the literal middle of the Outback, I was so gobsmacked I couldn't even form the usual reply to such situations (like, "Excuse me?" or "Oh, hi, (whoever you are)."). Finally they reminded me that they were on the Katherine Gorge river tour I'd taken about a week earlier and 800 miles north, where I had managed to make myself, um...memorable. Still not sure how they recognized me with my face buried in a map. But for what felt like an eternity, it was the most Twilight Zone moment I've ever had. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 4, 2019 Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 22 minutes ago, Gina Szanboti said: I've told this before, but I don't have any new stories since I stopped interacting with people. The hands-down weirdest thing that I can recall was when I was in Alice Springs in Australia. I was sitting in front of the Greyhound station, looking down at my maps trying to figure out what to do next, when suddenly I heard, "[my name]!" I looked up to see a person I couldn't recall ever seeing before, then looked around to see if I'd misheard and they were calling to someone else, but they were looking expectantly at me, and clearly knew me. Seeing as how I was 13,000 miles away from home in the literal middle of the Outback, I was so gobsmacked I couldn't even form the usual reply to such situations (like, "Excuse me?" or "Oh, hi, (whoever you are)."). Finally they reminded me that they were on the Katherine Gorge river tour I'd taken about a week earlier and 800 miles north, where I had managed to make myself, um...memorable. Still not sure how they recognized me with my face buried in a map. But for what felt like an eternity, it was the most Twilight Zone moment I've ever had. Everybody calls me Mark. And every town I’ve stayed in for more than a year seems to have a doppelgänger of me. I should test this in Australia, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Kmart: West Columbia ×woman walks up with beautiful child who looks almost exactly like my daughter* Me: Oh! She's so beautiful! Grandma: 🤨 Kid:*rolls eyes* I'm a BOY! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 I just can remember a lot of awkward convos Me: may i get your number for your rewards Couple: 843-...-.... Me: oh youre from Charleston. Me too! Are you visiting family up here? Them: No Me: Up here for the zoo or some other attraction? Them: no Me: passing through back home from vacation? Them: no, we just really wanted to shop at kmart (100 mile 2 hour drive) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Life Insurance: Claims This particular man called daily for almost a week straight and had to be the dumbest person i ever spoke to Going thru his claim form step by step Him:IT SAYS SIGNATURE! HOWS SHE SUPPOSED TO SIGN IT? SHE DEAD! me: that's for your signature, sir. She doesn't have to sign it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 4, 2019 Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 1 minute ago, fuggstop said: Life Insurance: Claims This particular man called daily for almost a week straight and had to be the dumbest person i ever spoke to Going thru his claim form step by step Him:IT SAYS SIGNATURE! HOWS SHE SUPPOSED TO SIGN IT? SHE DEAD! me: that's for your signature, sir. She doesn't have to sign it. Necromantic life insurance company. New plot idea. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 4, 2019 Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 9 minutes ago, fuggstop said: Kmart: West Columbia ×woman walks up with beautiful child who looks almost exactly like my daughter* Me: Oh! She's so beautiful! Grandma: 🤨 Kid:*rolls eyes* I'm a BOY! Beautiful baby boi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 I love this thread. Will read through when I am not dead tired and drinking. XD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiina Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 The washing machine repair man came over one time. He made a negative comment on my waifu pillows. But I resisted the urge to pick up the nearest blunt object and put it through his forehead. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 4, 2019 Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 1 minute ago, Shiina said: The washing machine repair man came over one time. He made a negative comment on my waifu pillows. But I resisted the urge to pick up the nearest blunt object and put it through his forehead. In prison, sometimes you get to be the waifu pillow. Probably a good thing you didn’t. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 4, 2019 Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 1 hour ago, 𝙍𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚𝘼𝙡𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙚 said: I love this thread. Will read through when I am not dead tired and drinking. XD I made this thread for you and you dare read it at YOUR own convenience!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 On 10/2/2019 at 5:30 PM, InsaneFox said: Little old lady: I need a switchblade. Me (confused and shocked): *looks over at Jeff M.* Jeff: Right this way. Me: *confusion intensifies* [Quietly to self]: We sell switchblades? Jeff: Just a single switch? Or do you have a few lights? Me: Oh! SwitchPLATES. Much less interesting. Knife switch or blade switch would have been very, very interesting... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackymckrackin Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Me and the wife went to a jewelry store to buy my mom a birthday present. We thought it would be nice to get her one of those bracelets that have all the kids birth stones. We go up to the young lady behind the counter and tell her that we need a bracelet with three stones, one for my older sister and two for me and my twin brother. She immediately asks, "is she the middle child?" Me: Yes, baby time travel is real. It scared the shit out of mom, but everything came out alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 13 hours ago, 𝙍𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚𝘼𝙡𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙚 said: I love this thread. Will read through when I am not dead tired and drinking. XD So probably when you're wide awake and drinking, right? XD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 First Kmart I was assigned to as Mgr: I"m walking down the main back aisle and see a woman admiring one of the potted house plants. She holds it at arm's length & turns it one way, then the other... Then she takes a step back...and holds it at arm's length again to look at it. (No there was no "hood" over the plants, the lighting was the same) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Kmart: Lots of weird people trying to steal in weird ways there. Man comes with three large bags of soil. I go to his buggy with scanner and try to scan them He has two large bags with small skinny bag underneath I cant scan it and ask him to move his heavy bags so i can get to the small skinny one I do and scan it. Its like $1.30 I go back to total the items Then he says he doesn't want the smallest bag I make him move the other bags again so i can scan it and void it out I total his items again without the bag He then says he doesn't want anything at all then leaves Management comes to do a total void and he says the man does this ALL THE TIME 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 Second Kmart Mgmt location: I get paged to the Service Desk. I see the woman working the Desk look at me as I approach and roll her eyes. Female Customer: Are you the Manager? Me: I am. (note - this is the last time I get to speak) Female Customer: Are you aware you're out of large bags (she means the shopping bags we stick purchases in)? How are your customers supposed to feel? I purchased this large package of Charmin and now I have to walk out of the store with it in full view of everyone in the parking lot! What are people going to think? Me (thinking): That you don't wipe your ass with your bare hand? Female Customer (btw she has a toddler in her cart): I think you should put signs on all the embarrassing products saying that they might want to reconsider buying the products because you don't have large bags! Me: (wondering if this is some sort of prank or if Allen Funt is hiding somewhere) Female Customer (she has been talking non-stop this whole time): Are you sure you're a Manager? You don't seem very concerned! (turns & leaves in a huff) I never had the chance to offer the use of a large black trash bag, which was s.o.p. for when something like this happened. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 22 hours ago, Gina Szanboti said: I've told this before, but I don't have any new stories since I stopped interacting with people. The hands-down weirdest thing that I can recall was when I was in Alice Springs in Australia. I was sitting in front of the Greyhound station, looking down at my maps trying to figure out what to do next, when suddenly I heard, "[my name]!" I looked up to see a person I couldn't recall ever seeing before, then looked around to see if I'd misheard and they were calling to someone else, but they were looking expectantly at me, and clearly knew me. Seeing as how I was 13,000 miles away from home in the literal middle of the Outback, I was so gobsmacked I couldn't even form the usual reply to such situations (like, "Excuse me?" or "Oh, hi, (whoever you are)."). Finally they reminded me that they were on the Katherine Gorge river tour I'd taken about a week earlier and 800 miles north, where I had managed to make myself, um...memorable. Still not sure how they recognized me with my face buried in a map. But for what felt like an eternity, it was the most Twilight Zone moment I've ever had. I had a similar situation. I had just moved to central Florida from Illinois 3 months prior and was checking the town out. I had heard that "Krystal's" was the southern version of "White Castle", so pulled in to try it out. I walk up to the counter and the woman in her late-twenties at the register says, "You're [tsar's real name], aren't you?". I'm stunned and stumped. I have no idea who this person is. Woman: You don't remember me? My mom worked for your Dad at [small Illinois based retail chain & small town in central Illinois from 8 years prior]. I remembered her Mom, but I did not ever recall seeing this woman in the store. Turned out she had moved to FL to complete graduate school for something. We chatted briefly & I told my folks about her later. They went over without me and talked with her for awhile. It was a small town, but I didn't think I was that memorable. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 hour ago, tsar4 said: I had a similar situation. I had just moved to central Florida from Illinois 3 months prior and was checking the town out. I had heard that "Krystal's" was the southern version of "White Castle", so pulled in to try it out. I walk up to the counter and the woman in her late-twenties at the register says, "You're [tsar's real name], aren't you?". I'm stunned and stumped. I have no idea who this person is. Woman: You don't remember me? My mom worked for your Dad at [small Illinois based retail chain & small town in central Illinois from 8 years prior]. I remembered her Mom, but I did not ever recall seeing this woman in the store. Turned out she had moved to FL to complete graduate school for something. We chatted briefly & I told my folks about her later. They went over without me and talked with her for awhile. It was a small town, but I didn't think I was that memorable. Pre stalking you. Her skills are legendary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimOdin Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 My real-ass real world encounter: a human woman married me. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimOdin Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Oh, I meant weird-ass, but I’m not fixing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 minute ago, SwimOdin said: My real-ass real world encounter: a human woman married me. What other kind of woman could have married you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimOdin Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Just now, InsaneFox said: What other kind of woman could have married you? Animal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 2 minutes ago, SwimOdin said: Animal. Legally? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimOdin Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 minute ago, InsaneFox said: Legally? I’m sure there’s gonna be SOME country or unincorporated land. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 Just now, SwimOdin said: I’m sure there’s gonna be SOME country or unincorporated land. Love cannot be stopped. Romantic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Phocken tweaker bit me, m8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 3 hours ago, Lasty said: Phocken tweaker bit me, m8 That’s how it spreads. If you get the urge to fix random shit despite having no knowledge of how it actually works. See a hospital or drug dealer immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 In breakroom: Female coworker: Awwww! *looks at me putting on a pouty face* My skittles got stuck. Me: Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Her: *stares* Other female coworker: I’ll get it... *tips machine, skittles fall* Me (after a solid 30 seconds of silence): I was gonna get it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 2 hours ago, InsaneFox said: That’s how it spreads. No, it's not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 Boring day. Wasn’t thinking I would get a L story today but Beech Fuckin’ Grove did not disappoint. Little old hunchbacked lady in the pump aisle, corner of the store: *grunting and moaning in complaint* Me: Something I can help you with today? Lady: I n-need the caramel candies. The crunchy ones. Me: Uh, well, we don’t have any candy back here... but—. Lady: It’s always back here! This is why I come to Lowes! Me: Well, we have some snack candies by the registers... Lady, who I’m slowly becoming convinced is an actual witch: Tell me the quickest way to the caramel candies. Me: How about I just walk you up there? Witch(?) and I awkwardly shamble up to the front register, the which making indecipherable comments as we pass the halloween decorations, something to do with candy, probably. Me (arriving at the registers): *finds the cashier* Hey, do we have any caramel candies? Like the worthers or something? Witch: NOT THE WORTHERS, THE KRAFT ONES! Cashier: I don’t think we have any, but I can show you the halloween candies over here. Me: *ninja vanishes behind a throng of customers, fleeing before I can be cursed* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 On 10/5/2019 at 2:11 PM, InsaneFox said: Boring day. Wasn’t thinking I would get a L story today but Beech Fuckin’ Grove did not disappoint. Little old hunchbacked lady in the pump aisle, corner of the store: *grunting and moaning in complaint* Me: Something I can help you with today? Lady: I n-need the caramel candies. The crunchy ones. Me: Uh, well, we don’t have any candy back here... but—. Lady: It’s always back here! This is why I come to Lowes! Me: Well, we have some snack candies by the registers... Lady, who I’m slowly becoming convinced is an actual witch: Tell me the quickest way to the caramel candies. Me: How about I just walk you up there? Witch(?) and I awkwardly shamble up to the front register, the which making indecipherable comments as we pass the halloween decorations, something to do with candy, probably. Me (arriving at the registers): *finds the cashier* Hey, do we have any caramel candies? Like the worthers or something? Witch: NOT THE WORTHERS, THE KRAFT ONES! Cashier: I don’t think we have any, but I can show you the halloween candies over here. Me: *ninja vanishes behind a throng of customers, fleeing before I can be cursed* She may had had dementia, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 7, 2019 Author Share Posted October 7, 2019 2 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: She may had had dementia, lol. Probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 8, 2019 Author Share Posted October 8, 2019 Manager: You sure you should be posting Lowe’s stories on social media? Me: Worst case scenario: I get a long vacation out of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 On 10/2/2019 at 5:20 PM, InsaneFox said: Since @RogueAlphonse likes the Lowe’s retail stories I post on Facebook, I figured I’d share some with the class. Post your own stories, let the fucked up times roll! Beech Grove Lowe’s story: At work: *some 10ish year old looking kid walks up to the toilet displays* Kid: Hey, what would you do if I pooped in this? Me (internally): Teach your parents what a late-late-term abortion looks like. Me: I dunno, kid. Let’s not find out. Well.....I got to help Peter Mayhew in my store a few months before he passed away. Me (knowing full well who he was): “Wow. You have the same name as him. The guy who plays Chewbacca.” Chewy: “Yeah. People tell me that. He’s much better looking, though.” After I helped him and got his phone back to him: Me: “Thanks, by the way.” Him: “No, you helped me. Thank you.” Me: “Nah, you’re the best wingman ever. Thank you.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renjifan Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 (edited) At my current job, there is a company who sends us invoices, but they don’t put any of our client’s information on them. Just list an account number. So I have to call them and give the account number so I can determine which client it’s regarding and get it to the appropriate staff member. Never had an issue before, then one day... Employee: “Thank you for calling [company name], how can I help you? Me: “Hi there! I’m calling from [my place of work]. We received an invoice and I just need to know which client this was regarding. Can I give you the account number so you can look that up for me?” Employee: “Um...one moment please.” Long pause. “I’m sorry, but I need more than just the account number before I can give out that kind of information.” Me: “.....Ok....like what kind of information do you need?” Employee: “Like the name, DOB, social security number...” Me: “But that’s why I’m calling you. I don’t have any of that, just the account number.” Employee: “I’m sorry, but I need more than that to give out information.” Me: “That makes absolutely no sense. How am I supposed to provide you with information that I’m calling you to obtain?” Employee: “I’m sorry, but that’s what I need.” Me: “Really? Because I’ve never had to give any of that before. Everyone else I’ve ever talked to when I called just needs the account number.” Employee: “Well they are not supposed to do that.” Me: “I don’t understand how I’m supposed to give you the name when I’m calling to get the name...” Employee: “Sorry ma’am, but that’s what I need.” Me: “Ok, well since you won’t tell me which client this is regarding, I don’t know what staff to give this to. So I guess you’re not getting paid.” *Hangs up* Y’all, I’m getting a little too sassy. I’m going to get myself into trouble one of these days... 😅 Edited October 9, 2019 by renjifan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lytbryt Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Yeah you coulda handled that better imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Im back at kmart. Cant wait to contribute more to this thread LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renjifan Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 13 minutes ago, Lytbryt said: Yeah you coulda handled that better imo Yeah, probably. But I didn’t. Her lack of common sense was infuriating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Heres one from today at my life insurance job. Not really funny as annoying. Theres two managers and one i specifically asked not to be placed under because he does shit like this. I have FMLA and twice a week I can dip out when I want and still get paid. Im taking new meds and i didnt feel right. My mouth was dry, i was coughing and had a metallic taste in my mouth so i decide to dip out. Well i email my supervisor that im leaving like i ALWAYS do, log my time in all the fucking systems (multiple) to ensure i get paid and approved for fmla and dip out On my way out i past HIM but i already said good morning to him so i walk by and dont say anything as hes working at the printer. Someone is next to him but i dont look and keep going. Well this motherfucker chases me down on my way to the elevator Him: Cynthia! Cynthia! (Shitty name on my bc no one i love calls me) Me: yes Him: you leaving Me: yes Him: you have to talk to [your supervisor] Me: i did, i emailed him Him: he was standing right there and you didn't say anything to him Me: i didnt see him. Plus i always email him and its never a problem Him: you can't just walk by and not speak Me: i saw u there but i didnt see [my supervisor] i thought that was another rep. Please tell [my supervisor] i didnt see him. Im going now. Later Stupid motherfucker. Just like the horrible mods here..hes a horrible supervisor and he is always making up new rules on the spot like that. I am sooo tempted to go to his boss about how he is always passively aggressively harrassing me about my absences that are FEDERALLY PROTECTED So happy hes not really MY supervisor. Keep in mind MY REAL supervisor didnt feel the need to chase me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina Szanboti Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 FMLA doesn't require them to pay you, it just keeps them from firing you for being on leave. If you run out your sick leave, they won't pay you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 1 minute ago, Gina Szanboti said: FMLA doesn't require them to pay you, it just keeps them from firing you for being on leave. If you run out your sick leave, they won't pay you. Ok *checks balance after her FULL check is deposited after taking over 300 hours of leave* whatevah yoouu say! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina Szanboti Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Ok, I should have said, they don't have to pay you (unless you somehow earn 300 hours of sick leave a year). I forgot to factor in that you work for idiots. That said, at some point they may wise up and decide to quit throwing money at you. Or not. I don't care either way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 16 minutes ago, Gina Szanboti said: Ok, I should have said, they don't have to pay you (unless you somehow earn 300 hours of sick leave a year). I forgot to factor in that you work for idiots. That said, at some point they may wise up and decide to quit throwing money at you. Or not. I don't care either way. Just let this tragedy play out. We all know the ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 (edited) I work at a bar near my city's bus terminal, so while imagination is fine for figuring out what that's like, consider that I'd rather tell you about the guy who did whipits, passed out against our alleyway's emergency exit with the recycle bin pulled over him like a blanket, and effectively locked me in at closing until I was forced to call 911, because he was too fished out to respond to me banging against the door and hollering. Edited October 11, 2019 by Bouvre 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 4 minutes ago, Bouvre said: I work at a bar near my city's bus terminal, so while imagination is fine for figuring out what that's like, consider that I'd rather tell you about the guy who did whipits, passed out against our alleyway's emergency exit with the recycle bin pulled over him like a blanket, and effectively locked me in at closing until I was forced to call 911, because he was too fished out to respond to me banging against the door and hollering. He was just making sure you were safe! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 7 minutes ago, InsaneFox said: He was just making sure you were safe! The fire marshal isn't too sure about that 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 41 minutes ago, Bouvre said: The fire marshal isn't too sure about that To be fair, I’ve never met a Fire Marshall that wasn’t a petty, trifling dick. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GunStarHero Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Three years ago I moved to Vegas and was initially taking the bus everywhere. I worked nights and one night I was waiting on the last bus home. It was around midnight and I was at a very busy intersection. Six lanes all 4 ways, always packed at all times. I'm sitting quietly and there's one other person waiting alongside me on the bench. Just some guy reading a book. All of sudden I hear all these car horns blaring and people shouting out of their windows. I look over to the intersection and there's this dude, strutting through the intersection with his hands up like a god damned WWE Superstar, lavishing the yells and horns like adoring fans. But he was walking slowly and fucking DIAGONALLY through the busy intersection. This guy is spinning and waving his arms like it's a god damned concert. When he finally makes it to the curb he beelines to the bus stop. The one I'm at. He waltzes up to the guy beside me and barks "MOVE!" and the guy scurries away. Then the dude sits next to me, as he puffs his blunt. He leans towards me and holds the blunt out for me to take and with unmatched enthusiasm says "YO TURN!" I politely decline. He insists, "BUT I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" Again I tell him no thank you. He leans back and lets out this howling belly laugh. "HAH HAH HAAAAAA HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR THE KING!" He stands up, takes a puff, then walks off into the desert in the dead of night. And that's how I met the King of Vegas. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneFox Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 4 minutes ago, GunStarHero said: Three years ago I moved to Vegas and was initially taking the bus everywhere. I worked nights and one night I was waiting on the last bus home. It was around midnight and I was at a very busy intersection. Six lanes all 4 ways, always packed at all times. I'm sitting quietly and there's one other person waiting alongside me on the bench. Just some guy reading a book. All of sudden I hear all these car horns blaring and people shouting out of their windows. I look over to the intersection and there's this dude, strutting through the intersection with his hands up like a god damned WWE Superstar, lavishing the yells and horns like adoring fans. But he was walking slowly and fucking DIAGONALLY through the busy intersection. This guy is spinning and waving his arms like it's a god damned concert. When he finally makes it to the curb he beelines to the bus stop. The one I'm at. He waltzes up to the guy beside me and barks "MOVE!" and the guy scurries away. Then the dude sits next to me, as he puffs his blunt. He leans towards me and holds the blunt out for me to take and with unmatched enthusiasm says "YO TURN!" I politely decline. He insists, "BUT I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" Again I tell him no thank you. He leans back and lets out this howling belly laugh. "HAH HAH HAAAAAA HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR THE KING!" He stands up, takes a puff, then walks off into the desert in the dead of night. And that's how I met the King of Vegas. Sounds like some Fate Alexander the Great shit right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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