Ruin the Previous User's Superpower

[PhilosipherStoned]

shazzamm.. every portal leads to zeni's bedroom

I want the power to go to sleep on demand/ 

[Zenigundam]

3 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted but you can now only breath underwater. 

I want the power create portals. 

Granted, but every portal you create leads to a hostile, alien planet that doesn't even have decent cuisine. 

I want the power to get the girls who I was talking to briefly and haven't logged into OkCupid for over a year to log back in and send me their digits.

[GunStarHero]

3 hours ago, Zenigundam said:

Granted, but every portal you create leads to a hostile, alien planet that doesn't even have decent cuisine. 

I want the power to get the girls who I was talking to briefly and haven't logged into OkCupid for over a year to log back in and send me their digits.

Granted, but you're still gay from before. 

 

I want the power to shoot (and control) lasers from my eyes. 

[cyberbully]

1 hour ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted, but you're still gay from before. 

 

I want the power to shoot (and control) lasers from my eyes. 

Granted, but your girlfriend's super power is she attracts eye lasers no matter what.

I want the power to break electronics from thousands of miles away.

[GunStarHero]

5 hours ago, cyberbully said:

Granted, but your girlfriend's super power is she attracts eye lasers no matter what.

I want the power to break electronics from thousands of miles away.

Granted but every time you break an electronic, you destroy every one of its kind across the globe. 

I want the power to change my voice. 

[Distortedreasoning]

1 hour ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted but every time you break an electronic, you destroy every one of its kind across the globe. 

I want the power to change my voice. 

granted but you can only change them to sound like different versions of gilbert gottfried voice. 

i want the power to build anything i want. 

[GunStarHero]

2 minutes ago, Distortedreasoning said:

granted but you can only change them to sound like different versions of gilbert gottfried voice. 

i want the power to build anything i want. 

You are now stuck inside Minecraft. 

I want the power to use the Kamehameha Wave. 

[cyberbully]

24 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

You are now stuck inside Minecraft. 

I want the power to use the Kamehameha Wave. 

Granted but it can only be used with your feet.

I want the power of the Orichalcos

[GunStarHero]

1 hour ago, cyberbully said:

Granted but it can only be used with your feet.

I want the power of the Orichalcos

Granted, you may now add one Orichalcos card to your Yu-Gi-Oh deck. Check current banned card lists for details. 

 

I want the power to conjure and control fire. 

[Mr Owl]

24 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted, you may now add one Orichalcos card to your Yu-Gi-Oh deck. Check current banned card lists for details. 

 

I want the power to conjure and control fire. 

Granted but now everything you touch becomes fire

I want power of immunity to all diseases 

[Zenigundam]

27 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted, you may now add one Orichalcos card to your Yu-Gi-Oh deck. Check current banned card lists for details. 

 

I want the power to conjure and control fire. 

Granted, but you live on a Carribean island with torrential rainfall and downpour 364 out of the 365 days of the year.

I want the power to take a jetpack to Mars, find the water supply, and start my own civilization, so that the legal age hotties of the Martian settlers can hang with me all the time. 💏

Edited February 16, 2019 by Zenigundam

[cyberbully]

1 minute ago, Kuroko said:

Granted but now everything you touch becomes fire

I want power of immunity to all diseases 

Granted but you also feel physical pain 100 fold

I want the power to tag posts in DF

[Mr Owl]

Just now, cyberbully said:

Granted but you also feel physical pain 100 fold

I want the power to tag posts in DF

Granted but you can only do it once every 40 years

I want the power of national immunity 

[cyberbully]

1 minute ago, Kuroko said:

Granted but you can only do it once every 40 years

I want the power of national immunity 

You want what?  Is this supposed to be diplomatic immunity?

I'm going to assume the latter and say ok but it's only effective in Antarctica

I want the power to make a bowl of soup

[Mr Owl]

2 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

You want what?  Is this supposed to be diplomatic immunity?

I'm going to assume the latter and say ok but it's only effective in Antarctica

I want the power to make a bowl of soup

Granted but you can only make cream of mushroom 

I want the power of confusion 

[GunStarHero]

1 minute ago, Kuroko said:

Granted but you can only make cream of mushroom 

I want the power of confusion 

Granted but you become confused and hurt yourself in confusion. 

I want Saitama's one punch powers. 

[Mr Owl]

3 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted but you become confused and hurt yourself in confusion. 

I want Saitama's one punch powers. 

Granted but it only works when you're asleep 

 

I want the power to control night and day

[Lasty]

3 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted but you become confused and hurt yourself in confusion. 

I want Saitama's one punch powers. 

You get the one punch powers, but your fingers are tiny penises

I want the ability to befriend anyone...

[Lasty]

Just now, Kuroko said:

Granted but it only works when you're asleep 

 

I want the power to control night and day

Granted, but you will never sleep again until it kills you.

Again, the ability to befriend anyone

[Mr Owl]

Just now, Lasty said:

Granted, but you will never sleep again until it kills you.

Again, the ability to befriend anyone

Granted but it only works in your sleep 

I want the power to negate side effects 

[Lasty]

Just now, Kuroko said:

Granted but it only works in your sleep 

I want the power to negate side effects 

c'mon, man, quit god-moding us. Is it really that entertaining?

[GunStarHero]

Just now, Kuroko said:

Granted but it only works in your sleep 

I want the power to negate side effects 

Granted, but to maintain this power you have to watch the entirety of the movie Leonard Part 6 each time before using it. 

I want the power of necromancy. 

[discolé monade]

granted...and congrats..you started the zombie apocalypse. 

i want the power to game every game on super serial hardcore mode. and win. 

 

[GunStarHero]

1 hour ago, discolemonade said:

granted...and congrats..you started the zombie apocalypse. 

i want the power to game every game on super serial hardcore mode. and win. 

 

Granted. 

Every video game ever released becomes trivial beneath your unyielding might. Nothing escapes you and you complete every challenge, no matter the difficulty, without breaking a sweat. 

But it becomes boring. No game is stimulating. What was once a leisurely past time is now a chore. You literally cannot fail. Games lose their appeal. There is nothing left. No pleasure comes from crushing every thing you play. You grow bitter. Game devs and other players accuse you of cheating. In a way they're right. But in another way, you no longer care. This once incredible past time has become a joyless husk of it's its former self and find yourself yearning for a challenge. You impose personal handicaps and multitask but nothing can stop you. Before long you swear off it all and quit altogether. 

Game Over. 

 

 

I want the power of the elements. 

[GunStarHero]

40 minutes ago, Quackers said:

You get the power of uranium and give yourself cancer and die

 

I want to be able to pee 20 dollar bills.

Granted but there is no lubrication so you feel every bit of that bill. And the bills themselves are painfully counterfeit. 

I want the power to control every volcano. 

[Distortedreasoning]

4 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted but there is no lubrication so you feel every bit of that bill. And the bills themselves are painfully counterfeit. 

I want the power to control every volcano. 

granted, but you under estimate your powers and in one of the eruptions you engulf the earth in a cloud of darkness lowering the worlds temperature and bringing about a new ice age! civilization is destroyed and most of humanity dies off. 

i want to have power like the q from star trek! 

[GunStarHero]

2 hours ago, Distortedreasoning said:

granted, but you under estimate your powers and in one of the eruptions you engulf the earth in a cloud of darkness lowering the worlds temperature and bringing about a new ice age! civilization is destroyed and most of humanity dies off. 

i want to have power like the q from star trek! 

Granted but the only person you can ever interact with is a naked Geordi La Forge. 

I want the power to brainwash others. 

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

7 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted but the only person you can ever interact with is a naked Geordi La Forge. 

I want the power to brainwash others. 

Granted, but this means you literally wash peoples' brains.... with soap and water.

I want the power to see in the dark just as well as I see in the light.

[GuyBeardmane]

20 hours ago, Distortedreasoning said:

granted but you can only change them to sound like different versions of gilbert gottfried voice. 

I'm sorry, I thought this was RUIN a super power.

[GunStarHero]

17 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Granted, but this means you literally wash peoples' brains.... with soap and water.

I want the power to see in the dark just as well as I see in the light.

Granted...

You have made a choice many would regard as terrible. A tragic power now courses through your mortal coil. Not only do you see what lies before you in the light, you see through the shroud of the darkness. Untold horrors and fetid machinations greet you from every angle. You see through time and space itself, the true evil of our realm laid bare before you at every turn.

You're off the edge of the map. Here there be monsters.

The dead never truly die. They know you see them, they know you are still tethered to the mortal plane. One by one they claw at you, some begging for forgiveness, others seeking vengeance. To them, you are legend. To the dead, you are god. They outnumber the living, 100 to 1, some more broken than others, but all cry out in anguish for your gift. 

Sleeping will do you no good. You won't be able to anyways. You will never be able to ignore the damned souls that surround you ever again. 

 

 

I want the power to create rainbows! 

[RainyDayJizz#35]

13 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted...

You have made a choice many would regard as terrible. A tragic power now courses through your mortal coil. Not only do you see what lies before you in the light, you see through the shroud of the darkness. Untold horrors and fetid machinations greet you from every angle. You see through time and space itself, the true evil of our realm laid bare before you at every turn.

You're off the edge of the map. Here there be monsters.

The dead never truly die. They know you see them, they know you are still tethered to the mortal plane. One by one they claw at you, some begging for forgiveness, others seeking vengeance. To them, you are legend. To the dead, you are god. They outnumber the living, 100 to 1, some more broken than others, but all cry out in anguish for your gift. 

Sleeping will do you no good. You won't be able to anyways. You will never be able to ignore the damned souls that surround you ever again. 

 

 

I want the power to create rainbows! 

You find this outside your front door.

I want to control Earth's weather.

[Distortedreasoning]

 

1 hour ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

You find this outside your front door.

I want to control Earth's weather.

granted! but now donald trump is in control of you and has your number on speed dial whenever he needs it sunny for his golf vacations.

 

i want the power to understand animals. 

[Vamped]

1 hour ago, Distortedreasoning said:

 

granted! but now donald trump is in control of you and has your number on speed dial whenever he needs it sunny for his golf vacations.

 

i want the power to understand animals. 

Granted, but now the animals know you can understand them and seek you out for free counseling every minute of every day. You can't even hide in your house without a queue of ants forming for advice on organizational development.  

I want super human charisma 

[GunStarHero]

3 hours ago, Vamped said:

Granted, but now the animals know you can understand them and seek you out for free counseling every minute of every day. You can't even hide in your house without a queue of ants forming for advice on organizational development.  

I want super human charisma 

Granted, may the Fourth Reich serve you well. 

I want the power heal. 

[Naraku4656]

12 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted, may the Fourth Reich serve you well. 

I want the power heal. 

have power heal. now talk like ghostrek

i want the power of beating Breath of the Wild so i can move on to the next game

Edited February 19, 2019 by Naraku4656

[GunStarHero]

1 hour ago, Naraku4656 said:

have power heal. now talk like ghostrek

i want the power of beating Breath of the Wild so i can move on to the next game

Granted.

 

You enter the Octagon.

The Oprah for men, Joe Rogan is present, and also naked. Mike Goldberg, also in attendance, does not seem to mind his co-commentator's lack of clothing. Tonight's fight may not be held at the MGM Grand but it is happening in a hidden basement that connects to the deadly maze that is the lair of the legendary Vegas sewer people. The ring girl for the evening is the venerated princess of ahegao, Belle Delphine. Please stop making that face, Belle. 

The commentator duo mentions your distinct reach advantage, really it's almost unfair. Breath of the Wild is the clear crowd favorite, but will it be enough? Herb Dean was originally scheduled to ref the fight but declined because it was, and I quote, "fucking stupid." Mario Yamasaki will ref in his place. The judges seem confused by all number of variables at play. Even the age difference is shocking, never mind the allegations of Naraku injecting Game Shark Serum before the match. 

The fight has begun! Naraku approaches like a some how even more lanky Slenderman, but Breath of the Wild will not be intimidated and stands his ground. Yamasaki's eyes bulge at the sheer courage shown already. He quakes in fear. Best to avoid that part of the ring, lest you slip. 

Naraku swings in a right hook and misses completely. A barrage of sloppily thrown kicks follow as Naraku makes quick work of the Octagon's fence. Wild finally living up to his name goes buck ass wild on Naraku and tips over onto his big toe. Naraku reels in pain over his latest boo boo. Can he recover? IS IT EVEN HUMANLY POSSIBLE? HOW WILL HE RESPOND? YAMASAKI REFUSES TO BREAK THEM UP! DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WHY WON'T HE STEP IN!?

In a fluster, Naraku lands a devastating ax kick probably.

"Wild is on his back! Naraku needs to secure this take down, Mike!" Rogan cries out as he mounts Goldberg from behind. A single tear rolls down Goldberg's cheek. 

A fit of rage overwhelms Naraku and he lashes out, attempting to stomp Wild and end the fight. But oh my goodness, what is this!? WILD HAS LAUNCHED HIMSELF INTO THE AIR I GUESS AND HAS LANDED DIRECTLY WHERE NARAKU HAS BEEN UNLEASHING HIS UNYIELDING AND INEFFECTIVE ONSLAUGHT! GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL!

Naraku spots Wild's positioning but it's far too late. His foot comes crashing down.

"OH! RIGHT IN THE HEEL, MIKE! IT WENT RIGHT IN THERE! JUST. LIKE. THIS. MIKE!" Rogan belts as he begins violently humping Goldberg. There is no life in those eyes. Mike has given up. Resigned to his fate. It would appear silence really was Golden today.

Unbelievably, Naraku has managed to stay on his feet. With tears in his eyes, he lets loose a primal roar. Yamasaki faints. If there is a god, he will end this fight now. 

Never before has Naraku faced such an insurmountable obstacle. He ponders how he can ever possibly bring down this titan of an adversary. 

Ah.

It's all coming back to him now.

He smells what The Rock is cooking.

That's right, folks, it's time for the UFC's first taste of the People's Elbow. 

With a look of determination and a quick succession of slaps to his right elbow, Naraku begins pacing back and forth, bouncing himself off the walls of the Octagon. 

It's time.

With a cock of an eyebrow and a thrust of his right leg, Naraku brings the pain and drops his right elbow directly onto Wild. 

Direct Hit.

Wild shatters to pieces. And also those pieces catch on fire.

There is nothing left. 

He's done it.

 

Naraku has finally beaten that son of a bitch. Breath of the Wild breathes no more.

 

Obama is there. 

 

 

 

 

 

I want the power of interdimensional travel. 

Edited February 19, 2019 by GunStarHero

[Naraku4656]

57 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted.

 

You enter the Octagon.

The Oprah for men, Joe Rogan is present, and also naked. Mike Goldberg, also in attendance, does not seem to mind his co-commentator's lack of clothing. Tonight's fight may not be held at the MGM Grand but it is happening in a hidden basement that connects to the deadly maze that is the lair of the legendary Vegas sewer people. The ring girl for the evening is the venerated princess of ahegao, Belle Delphine. Please stop making that face, Belle. 

The commentator duo mentions your distinct reach advantage, really it's almost unfair. Breath of the Wild is the clear crowd favorite, but will it be enough? Herb Dean was originally scheduled to ref the fight but declined because it was, and I quote, "fucking stupid." Mario Yamasaki will ref in his place. The judges seem confused by all number of variables at play. Even the age difference is shocking, never mind the allegations of Naraku injecting Game Shark Serum before the match. 

The fight has begun! Naraku approaches like a some how even more lanky Slenderman, but Breath of the Wild will not be intimidated and stands his ground. Yamasaki's eyes bulge at the sheer courage shown already. He quakes in fear. Best to avoid that part of the ring, lest you slip. 

Naraku swings in a right hook and misses completely. A barrage of sloppily thrown kicks follow as Naraku makes quick work of the Octagon's fence. Wild finally living up to his name goes buck ass wild on Naraku and tips over onto his big toe. Naraku reels in pain over his latest boo boo. Can he recover? IS IT EVEN HUMANLY POSSIBLE? HOW WILL HE RESPOND? YAMASAKI REFUSES TO BREAK THEM UP! DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WHY WON'T HE STEP IN!?

In a fluster, Naraku lands a devastating ax kick probably.

"Wild is on his back! Naraku needs to secure this take down, Mike!" Rogan cries out as he mounts Goldberg from behind. A single tear rolls down Goldberg's cheek. 

A fit of rage overwhelms Naraku and he lashes out, attempting to stomp Wild and end the fight. But oh my goodness, what is this!? WILD HAS LAUNCHED HIMSELF INTO THE AIR I GUESS AND HAS LANDED DIRECTLY WHERE NARAKU HAS BEEN UNLEASHING HIS UNYIELDING AND INEFFECTIVE ONSLAUGHT! GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL!

Naraku spots Wild's positioning but it's far too late. His foot comes crashing down.

"OH! RIGHT IN THE HEEL, MIKE! IT WENT RIGHT IN THERE! JUST. LIKE. THIS. MIKE!" Rogan belts as he begins violently humping Goldberg. There is no life in those eyes. Mike has given up. Resigned to his fate. It would appear silence really was Golden today.

Unbelievably, Naraku has managed to stay on his feet. With tears in his eyes, he lets loose a primal roar. Yamasaki faints. If there is a god, he will end this fight now. 

Never before has Naraku faced such an insurmountable obstacle. He ponders how he can ever possibly bring down this titan of an adversary. 

Ah.

It's all coming back to him now.

He smells what The Rock is cooking.

That's right, folks, it's time for the UFC's first taste of the People's Elbow. 

With a look of determination and a quick succession of slaps to his right elbow, Naraku begins pacing back and forth, bouncing himself off the walls of the Octagon. 

It's time.

With a cock of an eyebrow and a thrust of his right leg, Naraku brings the pain and drops his right elbow directly onto Wild. 

Direct Hit.

Wild shatters to pieces. And also those pieces catch on fire.

There is nothing left. 

He's done it.

 

Naraku has finally beaten that son of a bitch. Breath of the Wild breathes no more.

 

Obama is there. 

 

 

 

 

 

I want the power of interdimensional travel. 

i have no idea what the fuck that was but cool.

 

you can travel BUT ONLY THE SHADOW REALM.

 

i want the power of UNLIMITED POWER

[Distortedreasoning]

3 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

i have no idea what the fuck that was but cool.

 

you can travel BUT ONLY THE SHADOW REALM.

 

i want the power of UNLIMITED POWER

granted but your body can't handle all that power and you melt into a pile of goo. 

i want the power to make anything i can think of into reality. 

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

7 hours ago, Distortedreasoning said:

granted but your body can't handle all that power and you melt into a pile of goo. 

i want the power to make anything i can think of into reality. 

Granted, but all you can think of is your own death, which causes, well, your own death.

I want the power to never need sleep.

Edited February 19, 2019 by Doom Metal Alchemist