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UnevenEdge

Ruin the Previous User's Superpower


GunStarHero

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1 minute ago, midnight said:

You have the power of psychokinesis, but the only thing you can control with your mind is the toilet handle. 

I want the power of positivity.

You gain the power of positivity, but lose the ability to eat pancakes.

I want the power to speak to fish....

 

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18 minutes ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

You have the power glove. It works to factory specifications.

I want to be able to shoot lightning bolts at things that displease me.

Granted but the bolts come from the tip of your dick and you have no control over them so they fire off every time you dislike anything at all. 

 

I want the power of Oxiclean. 

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2 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Granted, but you have been turned into Billy Mayes.

I want the power to make money appear from thin air.

you can make money appear from thin air, but only on mars and other planets/moons.

i want the power to fart at will.

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56 minutes ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

Surprisingly, the power sword weighs 700 pounds to prevent people without power suits from using it.

I want the power of Riverdance!

 

You can only do the river dance in a actual river

 

I want to the powers of a Power Ranger

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6 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

I grant your granting but you lose a turn in this game, I guess. 

I want the power to summon and control demons. 

granted, but they are only 1 cm tall and you have to use a 1960's computer to do so.

i want the power to control facebook.

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16 minutes ago, PosterPoser said:

granted, but they are only 1 cm tall and you have to use a 1960's computer to do so.

i want the power to control facebook.

You now have admin control over the original, now inactive, facebook, ConnectU (aka HarvardConnection). 

 

I want the power of power ballads. 

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2 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

You now have admin control over the original, now inactive, facebook, ConnectU (aka HarvardConnection). 

 

I want the power of power ballads. 

granted, but you can only play them at nursing homes.

i want the power of all the energy in the universe.

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2 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Granted you are now god and hence no longer exist. 

I want the power to read minds. 

granted, you can read minds, but only ducks minds which drives you quackers.

i want the power to kill any leader in the world and get away with it scot-free.

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1 hour ago, PosterPoser said:

granted, you can read minds, but only ducks minds which drives you quackers.

i want the power to kill any leader in the world and get away with it scot-free.

Granted but you can only do so in the Teletubbie world. 

I want the power heal sick children.

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4 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Granted but you can only do so in the Teletubbie world. 

I want the power heal sick children.

Granted, you can heal sick children, but you take on their disease.

I want the power to make any woman (besides family) to cum at any time.

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1 minute ago, Kudasai said:

Granted but now you're too shy to be around women and pass out instantly whenever a woman is near your presence

I want the powers of a fisherman

granted, but you never catch a fish and lose everything you have.

i want the power of a gynecologist.

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2 minutes ago, discolemonade said:

granted, but you can only use this power in the desert.

i want to see every lotto winning number for every lottery. 

You gain the ability to receive every newspaper with lottery numbers delivered to your door. 

I want the power of thunder. 

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3 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

You gain the power to play any musical instrument poorly. 

I want the power of Captain Planet.

Granted, but the planet was Pluto.

I want to have the power to win more than i spend on every lottery ticket I buy.

Edited by mthor
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6 minutes ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

Granted, with every ticket you win a lesson in frugality.

I want a functioning robot that looks like Voltron.

You now have the ability to use a 1/16th scale Chinese knockoff of Voltron. Batteries not included. 

I want the power of interstellar power. 

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1 hour ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

You are given the appropriate amount of energy for your mass and rate of decay.

I want the power to understand sloppy joes.

You understand sloppy joes. But now you know too much. You surge to the top of Interpol's most wanted list and must live a life on the run. There is no sleep, there are no dreams, only nightmarish machinations of the true horror that is the truth behind sloppy joes. 

 

I want the power to control water. 

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4 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

You understand sloppy joes. But now you know too much. You surge to the top of Interpol's most wanted list and must live a life on the run. There is no sleep, there are no dreams, only nightmarish machinations of the true horror that is the truth behind sloppy joes. 

 

I want the power to control water. 

Granted, but you only get to control water contained in a drinking glass.

I want the power to turn into a dinosaur.

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10 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Granted, now you have a new cold 

I want super human strength

You have superhuman strength but no idea how to control it. You tear blankets to shreds pulling them off the bed. Doors fly from hinges and you sit in a room lamenting your inability to touch your loved ones. 

I want the power to ruin other superpowers.

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37 minutes ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

You have superhuman strength but no idea how to control it. You tear blankets to shreds pulling them off the bed. Doors fly from hinges and you sit in a room lamenting your inability to touch your loved ones. 

I want the power to ruin other superpowers.

Granted but you can ruin your own  superpowers 

I want the power of interpretive dance

 

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2 minutes ago, discolemonade said:

granted, but every computer you ever log into has a virus.

i want the ability to find every shelter animal a furever home.

Granted. But the furever home is at a taxidermist shop.

I want the power to eat anything I want, with no consequences.

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