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UnevenEdge

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Naraku4656

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2 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

she would have wanted kids eventually and i don't. neither of us want to break up with the other person but we know that if she came back here she'd eventually be miserable with me. so we mutually ended things. i'm going to grab a drink, curl up, and go die now

No, don't break up. Text her back. It's so hard to get a girlfriend nowadays because girls are impossible. You've gotta fix this. 🤦‍♂️

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2 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

she would have wanted kids eventually and i don't. neither of us want to break up with the other person but we know that if she came back here she'd eventually be miserable with me. so we mutually ended things. i'm going to grab a drink, curl up, and go die now

Still didn’t think she’s existed to begin with

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3 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

she would have wanted kids eventually and i don't. neither of us want to break up with the other person but we know that if she came back here she'd eventually be miserable with me. so we mutually ended things. i'm going to grab a drink, curl up, and go die now

Get fixed and act like you're tryna have kids?

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40 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said:

Get fixed and act like you're tryna have kids?

idk whats going on anymore. i don't her i don't want kids, she told me she does. we broke up, then both decided neither of us really wanted to. will we break up again in the future? probably, but idk i'll ride it out for as long as i can

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1 minute ago, Naraku4656 said:

idk whats going on anymore. i don't her i don't want kids, she told me she does. we broke up, then both decided neither of us really wanted to. will we break up again in the future? probably, but idk i'll ride it out for as long as i can

Isn't this the second time this has happened in like, a month 

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2 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

idk whats going on anymore. i don't her i don't want kids, she told me she does. we broke up, then both decided neither of us really wanted to. will we break up again in the future? probably, but idk i'll ride it out for as long as i can

Oh god, am I reading this correctly, are you back together again?

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Just now, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

It's pretty obvious what's going on. She loves you and will say what she needs to say to keep you.... but she is 100% banking on you will change your mind about having kids down the road. I guarantee this.

They've only been dating for like half the summer, I don't think she's banking on anything

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4 minutes ago, Nabloom said:

They've only been dating for like half the summer, I don't think she's banking on anything

I don't know if you've been following the whole saga (I imagine you have), but either this girl is madly in love with him or naraku's just making all of this up.

Or a third option is this girl is just as 4ever alone as he is, and since she's bagged a bf, she's desperate to hold on because she's worried she won't get many more chances.

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I mean - she tells you she wants to have kids one day in the future, you just say that's cool, tell her you don't want kids or whatever, she should say that's cool, and you move on with your day together. It doesn't have to be this dramatic revelation that sends your relationship reeling, "we can't get married bc she wants kids, why are we together if we can't get married" like holy shit, any given person you are dating at any given time is probably not going to be the person you are dating in a few years, but also they might be, probably not but there is no way to know, that doesn't mean you can't have a nice rest the summer together or w/e. You're just fucking around with someone, it's fine. Stop breaking up, you're barely even together 

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2 minutes ago, Nabloom said:

I mean - she tells you she wants to have kids one day in the future, you just say that's cool, tell her you don't want kids or whatever, she should say that's cool, and you move on with your day together. It doesn't have to be this dramatic revelation that sends your relationship reeling, "we can't get married bc she wants kids, why are we together if we can't get married" like holy shit, any given person you are dating at any given time is probably not going to be the person you are dating in a few years, but also they might be, probably not but there is no way to know, that doesn't mean you can't have a nice rest the summer together or w/e. You're just fucking around with someone, it's fine. Stop breaking up, you're barely even together 

This is a very good point. TV sitcoms seem to shame male characters for keeping relationships that they "don't see a future with," but with Naraku's lack of dating experience, just going with the flow and seeing what happens even if the end goals aren't common is probably a good idea. If they don't end up married, it's fine, like nabs was alluding to, statistically they probably won't, but you just don't know.

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7 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I don't know if you've been following the whole saga (I imagine you have), but either this girl is madly in love with him or naraku's just making all of this up.

All I remember is - she moves out of state for some reason to do with our country's right-wing immigration laws, they break up 

She says she hates it there and wants to move back, or does? At some point they declare the monogamy is back on. Then today they break up again bc they differ on one day wanting kids? before quickly declaring themselves monogamous together once more 

I'm not saying she isn't madly in love with him, but from what all our unreliable narrator has said it sounds like she just would rather have someone to talk to and consider her bf than not right now, if he's cool with riding that wave then ok but this living and dying with every perceived change of relationship status stuff is unnecessarily messy and sad 

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2 minutes ago, Nabloom said:

All I remember is - she moves out of state for some reason to do with our country's right-wing immigration laws, they break up 

She says she hates it there and wants to move back, or does? At some point they declare the monogamy is back on. Then today they break up again bc they differ on one day wanting kids? before quickly declaring themselves monogamous together once more 

I'm not saying she isn't madly in love with him, but from what all our unreliable narrator has said it sounds like she just would rather have someone to talk to and consider her bf than not right now, if he's cool with riding that wave then ok but this living and dying with every perceived change of relationship status stuff is unnecessarily messy and sad 

I agree with most of that, but I think if all she is after is some friendly company, she could easily find it in Cali. Why bother going through this whole rigamorole moving across the country again if she wasn't serious with him?

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And if he's not interested for whatever reason, doesn't get anything good out of it anymore, wants to find someone who he can BUILD SOMETHING with, or whatever, then just end it instead of waiting around for her to decide or whatever has been happening. Idk, idk this has been a boring story arc 

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1 minute ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I agree with most of that, but I think if all she is after is some friendly company, she could easily find it in Cali. Why bother going through this whole rigamorole moving across the country again if she wasn't serious with him?

Might just hate it there where she doesn't really know anyone and wants to come back independent of op's existence. She didn't move there because she wanted to, she was ripped away from her friends and life in Wherever and forced to move there because of some vague legal issues relating to her immigration status bullshit she had to put up with 

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1 minute ago, Nabloom said:

Might just hate it there where she doesn't really know anyone and wants to come back independent of op's existence. She didn't move there because she wanted to, she was ripped away from her friends and life in Wherever and forced to move there because of some vague legal issues relating to her immigration status bullshit she had to put up with 

That makes sense too.

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Well shit there has been some damn good discussion in here and the bf is no where to be found. I but I agree with almost everything that's been said. Just try to enjoy the ride and don't over complicate things like marriage and kids. That stuff doesn't need to be talked about for at least another year of actually being together or if an accident comes along.

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20 minutes ago, CAC said:

Well shit there has been some damn good discussion in here and the bf is no where to be found. I but I agree with almost everything that's been said. Just try to enjoy the ride and don't over complicate things like marriage and kids. That stuff doesn't need to be talked about for at least another year of actually being together or if an accident comes along.

i fell asleep for a while.i guess i'll just see what happens

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3 hours ago, Nabloom said:

Might just hate it there where she doesn't really know anyone and wants to come back independent of op's existence. She didn't move there because she wanted to, she was ripped away from her friends and life in Wherever and forced to move there because of some vague legal issues relating to her immigration status bullshit she had to put up with 

She's told me that if she moved back to this area it'd be 99% because of me. I just feel guilty that I wouldn't eventually be able to give her what she wants and she'd go through that for me. I tried to initiate the break up earlier because I don't want her to be with me and eventually resent me for waisting her time

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Im honestly not sure what to do. She's gone back to California for now. If I'm going to be the one to initiate the break up I want to do it to her face and not over the phone. But seeing her reminds me of how happy she makes me and I don't want to lose that 

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1 hour ago, Naraku4656 said:

Im honestly not sure what to do. She's gone back to California for now. If I'm going to be the one to initiate the break up I want to do it to her face and not over the phone. But seeing her reminds me of how happy she makes me and I don't want to lose that 

Spell out these exact concerns to her. If she says, "I don't care, I want to give it a shot" then imo that should absolve you of any guilt of "wasting her time." (doesn't mean you shouldn't feel like an asshole for other things that might happen if it goes south :P). But like even nabs was saying (or alluding to) statistically you're not going to last. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Because that's how it's going to be with anyone you date. There's no way to know if you're wasting each other's time right now, except for the blatantly obvious that you make each other happy. But dating is literally trial and error. In the end you're going to "waste the time" of damn near every woman you date, and likewise, damn near every woman you date will "waste" your time. *(I'm using this in what seems to be your definition of wasting her time, that being being in a relationship that doesn't last. But just because it doesn't last, doesn't mean the time is wasted). Just see where it goes. You maker her happy, she makes you happy. 

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7 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Spell out these exact concerns to her. If she says, "I don't care, I want to give it a shot" then imo that should absolve you of any guilt of "wasting her time." (doesn't mean you shouldn't feel like an asshole for other things that might happen if it goes south :P). But like even nabs was saying (or alluding to) statistically you're not going to last. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Because that's how it's going to be with anyone you date. There's no way to know if you're wasting each other's time right now, except for the blatantly obvious that you make each other happy. But dating is literally trial and error. In the end you're going to "waste the time" of damn near every woman you date, and likewise, damn near every woman you date will "waste" your time. *(I'm using this in what seems to be your definition of wasting her time, that being being in a relationship that doesn't last. But just because it doesn't last, doesn't mean the time is wasted). Just see where it goes. You maker her happy, she makes you happy. 

i did, we both talked about that today. i sat down at her table with her in her apartment and spelled out factually that it was not likely to work out between us because of that. we both gave each other several opportunities for an easy out, but neither of us wanted to take it.

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4 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

i did, we both talked about that today. i sat down at her table with her in her apartment and spelled out factually that it was not likely to work out between us because of that. we both gave each other several opportunities for an easy out, but neither of us wanted to take it.

Well then fucking go for it.

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