EmpressAngel

RIP in peace. Yeah it was illegal, but it's been a huge part of anime fandom for what, damn near a decade? I'm sure we all have fond memories of that festering scab of a site demanding we shut off adblock and risk giving our computers cancer to watch an episode of something we missed.

Year One- You should probably not beat up a monk, that's probably some bad karma right there. Jim Gordon is the only cop worth trusting. These shady masked fuckers totally aren't the other cops aw shit they're the other cops. HI CATWOMAN. Goddamn child hooker stabbed me! Remember, don't trust cops. Don't fuck with Gordon. Uh hey Bruce you okay there? I don't think that's a sign, I think this bat just has rabies. GORDON PUNCH. Alright he looks like the old TAS version Batman and I can get behind this. REVELRY IN THE DARK. Hi there, future Two Face. Sure hope nobody else was in the building they just blew up. She's my favorite crazy cat lady. BATS, MOTHERFUCKERS. Oh no don't cheat on your wife with the hot detective lady. I'm always gay for Catwoman. Really should not have fucked that lady. Nothing to see here, just a rich alcoholic day-drinking with his exotic whore. Huh, I was expecting the son thing to be a fakeout and for her to give birth to Batgirl instead. God I'm gay for her. Babies are indeed a curse unto us all. I've seen John Mulaney, you never let them take you to a secondary location. Uh Gordon maybe try not ot crash the car that's carrying your baby. Eat shit, fat man. Somebody's poisoned the watering hole! Dark Knight Returns- It's nice that he found a safe hobby after his retirement. Is Gordon retiring because his balls are too big? Joke's on you thugs, this is is fetish. Oh thank god, Alfred's still alive. Even if he's in a coma, I don't trust the Joker. Oh hey, he's back to One Face. Goddammit Harvey. Oh no, it's Zorro-induced PTSD. For fuck's sake Bruce, just bat-proof that window already. I don't like where this is going. BATMAN'D. Batman's built like a Joestar, age means nothing to him. Big deal like this is the first time Batman's been threatened with dismemberment. God I love Alfred. So I'm guessin this girl's gonna be the new Robin. Aw fuck, Joker's listening. Oh a whole $22 million, that's like three hours of work for Bruce Wayne. Ah shit, Batman turned into Devilman for a minute there. Uh hey Harvey you okay there? Again, don't fuck with Gordon. Nice Robin cosplay, dork. And then they all got rabies. She's adorable. Yeah buddy this speech is a great way to give yourself a good image. This girl's definitely about to get herself captured. The BATTANK says fuck you. Batman no you're gonna get your spine ripped out. Oh shit did she just claw out his eyes? Alright kid he's five times your size, drag him back to the tank. Okay I love this girl. Awww good, Bruce is keeping her. Okay but they should really take him to the hospital and say he fell down the stairs or something. On the flip side, I hate these side characters. Idiot mayor's definitely about to die. Wow what a surprise, he died immediately. Ouch, Alfred. I have no goddamn idea what they're saying. No seriously, can I get mutantspeak-to-English subtitles here? Good girl, set a trap. I am not really sure how letting the leader escape is gonna help here but go for it. Movie I don't speak rebellious teen, what the fuck are they saying. FUCK 'IM UP, BATS. Oh fuck he accidentally started himself a cult. Great job, you dumb bastards woke up the Joker.

It's not gonna happen but I'd laugh really, really hard if Adult Swim bought it.

Yikes. Glad I never got into that one.

That's a lie, I know for a fact you've read My Balls. Most of what I've read is just because I just caught up with the anime and was impatient: Fullmetal Alchemist Bleach One Piece Hero Academia Jojo, but only through part 5

It's always possible that they already budgeted and paid for series that have been delayed to next year, like the new seasons of Dr Sone and Promised Neverland. Keep in mind that Funi, Sentai, etc are doing the Pandemic Shuffle, and if they've already been paid for a show, they might not be so willing to hand over a refund for it without going through significant contract negotiations. It's straight up baffling to me how people with zero experience in anything entertainment related constantly shit on a guy who's been in the industry for decades and truly believe they know better than him. It's like watching six episodes of Food Wars and thinking you're a better cook than the ones on Iron Chef.

I don't know why that story cracked me up but thank you. Jojo- I'm uncomfortable with this. Your weird dog gimp man has earned his Scooby Snacks. Oh no my son is full of mold. You're being attacked by magic mold, he doesn't have time to be nice. I got a bad feel about this. Oh shit it doesn't land. Whelp, you're screwed. RIP gun. Oh this is not going well. You stay away from that turtle! Aww he says he's their papa. YEEEE HAAW. Mista no you're gonna shoot yourself again. And then Mista shot himself again. Bruno no, the mold! Gopher gimp continues to make me very uncomfortable. I don't think Bruno is okay. Fine then, keep your secrets. Oh I don't like that ominous music. I DON'T THINK BRUNO IS OKAY. Aw fuck he's a zombie. WHAT. And then everyone died. Time to set everything on fire. Does the mold affect stands because I don't want my boys hurt. They're boyfriends. Homicidal badger. It's Fern Gully, bitch. Fire Force- I still don't trust Science Dandy. His junkyard looks like my sewing room before Halloween. I do appreciate a buff dude yeeting beer cans at loud teenagers. Yeah sure I'll call you whatever you want. Vulcan I am right here if you want a big tittied girlfriend who won't betray you. His first mistake was putting on a shirt. I don't know whether the bigger question is why Vulcan made a pissing squirrel robot or why Arthur was molesting it. I'd watch a National Geographic show with shirtless Vulcan. Clover- I hate this monolgue a little more every week I have to hear it. It's too early for Yami to deal with this. Yes good, shit all over their hopes. I'm disappointed he hasn't come to smother him with a pillow. He's a douchebag but his assessment of them is correct. Hey, it worked out for Miroku. You're not cursed you're just a horny bastard. I'm surprised anyone willingly took her brother. I'm goddamn amazed that anyone would willingly take Asta. Kill him anyways, Yami. Why wouldn't you just send Yuno he's objectively the strongest one. Calm down you horny bastard. God Mimosa have some standards. This is painful. Sink their boat, your majesty. Alright I'm already rooting for the ominous water bitch. Honey just date him. Man, this place makes your kingdom look like shit. And nothing of value was lost. You can just go ahead and kill them. Big deal you can draw a transmutation circle. She's got huge boobs and hates Asta, I love her.

I know the big question on everyone's mind is who fucked Sesshomaru, but I'm just sitting here wondering why that one kid's "modern" outfit is a Colonel Sanders cosplay.

Yikes.

I mean, she has a point. Slapping "Dr Stone fandub" on your resume is unprofessional and super cringy in general. BRB updating my resume with my gratuitous Endeavor thirst tweets. I'm counting those as significant writing experience.

Cool, Batman.

I had to watch Avdol die goddamn twice. Jojo- RIP our angry goth boy. Maybe he's targeting her because he's just a complete asshole. Thanks for the stone bust but it's kinda useless. Oh hey, somebody's here with a clue. Sweet, we got a name. Kira also thought his stand had no weakness and then he got hit by an ambulance. Oh shit he's got an arrow. I love the phone. I hate that the angry voice does things for me. I got a bad feel about these guys. Huh, is that how stands happen? Wait if this was 1978, how did Avdol get his stand at birth? That was Avdol's silhouette, I miss him. I don't like the drunk dudes' survival odds here. Hey uh what the FUCK. Goddamn Youtubers. Ohhhh that is fucked up. I didn't expect to find a more uncomfortable character than Melone but here we are. Actual phone...or not. And then Mista died, again. Y'all are gonna die. Oh no my idiot son. I'm surprised Mista of all people figured that out. I don't like that. I hope Giorno cal cure all this. Yeet that turtle! YEEE HAAAAW. Mob- Once again, Reigen is best dad. He has become too powerful. Awww Mob. God I love 1000% Reigen. This is the best fight in anything. I need a Reigen in my life to motivate me. I forgot the boss was an old man and not a little girl. "Surviving's a chore even though I'm so special" is a real mood. I still don't trust this ginger. Even Dimple gets a moment in the spotlight. I like the vegetable friends. That's also how I look when I work out. And everyone gets a happy ending. This isn't ominous at all. Meanwhile, bug hunting. Hey, free mushrooms. Clover- For fuck's sake just give that guy subtitles. I'm okay with him failing. Maybe you don't have friends because you're creepy as fuck in general. Yami continues to be the least terrible character. Why doesn't she just transform into the big ugly guy disguise she always used before they revaled she was actually a cute girl? I hope his mom is also a hot bitch like the team alcoholic's was. Fucking christ, they're all like this. Sister fucker is literally the last person who gets to judge anyone for an incest implication. This is painful. Maybe I'll luck out and his creepy dad will kill them all. Funi I am BEGGING you for subtitles. Oh what the fuck. This is a form of pain he's not studying. Introduce him to that obnoxious screaming science girl. Please kill him. Goddammit he's not a serial killer. Huh, dream lady's awake. Oh what the fuck now. I'm disappointed that her siblings aren't dead. So...he let their douche siblings blame her for their mom's death and treat her like shit her entire life for no reason? What the fuck. This is a stupid explanation. You're all garbage, it's impossible to narrow it down.

I straight up have no memory of what happened last time in Jojo. I think everyone's favorite piss kink goth died?

Every time I read that pointlessly long acronym, my hatred for this franchise grows just a little bit more.

I'm sure that artist is very talented and has done a lot of good work but they probably should have paid someone who actually knew how to draw a Naruto that looks like Naruto and not...that.

Little Witch Academia Carole and Tuesday Beastars Devilman Crybaby

To be fair, googling the phrase "goo shooter" is a risky move.

They've got three months. Even if they only put out one episode a month, five weeks of new content is still better than zero.

What, these people are on Twitter but can't figure out how to look up "Series OP" on Youtube?

Y'all: There's no new content coming on the block! It can't survive on reruns! This is a tragedy, Toonami is doomed! Toonami: Hey here's a new show we're airing in a couple months Y'all: Why are they scheduling new content!? There's no guarantee we'll have a completely uninterrupted season! They should have just aired reruns instead! Me, watching you guys lose your minds across the 15 new threads you made this week:

You've spent all this time shitting on One Piece and gleefully claiming that it's been a failure in the states and all that jazz, but 20 year old episodes are doing super well with a mainstream audience and you're smug about that?

Okay that's actually pretty adorable.

The fact that all their announcements were for next year is pretty good confirmation that, barring some major unforseen catastrophe that hits Toonami without affecting AS as a whole, they're already fully greenlit for operations next year regardless of how the rest of 2020 goes. They probably weren't able to announce anything big for the rest of the year because with the pandemic interrupting production on so many series, the plans they already had laid out are now uncertain and contracts can take months to renegotiate. There's probably several dozen emails in the Toonami inbox that look like this: "Okay, you can't guarantee us New Show #1 anymore. Can we have a discount on Slightly Older Show #2, and Beloved Classic Anime #3 instead?" "No, we can't do that. We can give you Slightly Older Show #2 for $$$$, and Bullshit Nobody Wanted #4 for $." "We don't want Bullshit Nobody Wanted #4, what about Average Thing #5 for $$?" "We will consider your offer and get back to you by next Friday." "We will accept $$$$$ for Slightly Older Show #2 and Average Thing #5. Here are the terms for reruns, length of ownership and airing dates." "Hold on, there's an issue with the airing dates. We won't have space available until a month after that, can we change that and update the terms?" And so on probably right up until the show airs.

This didn't age well. Toonami- This pirate show looks cool, I'm in. I don't care about Rick and Morty. I've still never seen any of Blade Runner and I'm not sure how much I'll understand of the new series. Can't wait to piss my pants in horror watching Uzumaki. This definitely looks a lot more accurate style-wise than that weird anthology series they made a couple years ago. I'm always down for a Pillows performance. Okay the Tom and Sara interviewers were the best part of this. Paranoia Agent- Thanks, random cardboard fish monger. Well this is creepy. Nothing can stop the smoooooze. Sweet, free jellybeans! Fuck this TV in particular. I hope she doesn't die. And now, somehow, shit gets even weirder. Tiny Tsukiko is adorable. Awww, real Maromi. Oh this is depressing. This lady needs a hug. I honestly couldn't remember if she died or not and now I'm sad. You are NOT the father. "Fuck this shit I'm out." That's a lot of Maromis. You'd think she could have changed her story the second time around. Nothing to see here, just Hobo Batman yelling at a mentally ill woman while otherworldly sludge flows through the streets. Now it's evil plushie sludge. Oh hey, it's everyone else. The dead wife wasn't sad enough, have a dead puppy to go with it. Cramps are indeed the root of all misfortune. Oh hey, you broke whatever batshit curse this was. Off-brand Hello Kitty is adorable. She's cute with the short hair. Here we go again. Wait is this last scene new? Mob- Reigen is somehow best dad I don't even care how it happened. Awwww look at Tiny Mob and Ritsu. Mob is the best kid and I love him. I'm surprised nobody's beaten the shit out of that ginger kid yet. I like how everyone here is just stupid enough to believe Reigen's the boss. The funniest thing is Reigen treating the evil underlings like a disobedient kindergarten class. The special moves get me every time. Good job, ya blew it. Mob fight scenes are so great. Reigen is best dad. Clover- Can we go back to the old monologue that doesn't suck Asta's dick? STOP SCREAMING YOU JACKASS. Oh good the dumbass lesbian is here. We all want to fuck Yami, get over yourself lady. I like that he's just lighting up a smoke in the hospital wing. This is painful. I hate everything. Thanks for getting rid of the obvious rapist during your panicked flailing. What the fuck IS this? Are they really turning this into a dramatic moment after we just spend five minutes watching her run around screaming like a goddamn lunatic? We get it, men are awful. I like that Yami just walks in sometimes and says "Grow a spine and get over your baggage, loser" and fixes their entire life. This show is really squandering the lesbian squad. OH MY GOD YOU'RE HORNY GET OVER IT. Girls no don't encourage this bullshit. Wait they're not all lesbians? Okay this is the least terrible squad. Yami continues to be the single bright spot in this heinous shit show. Just fuck him already you dumb bitch. Oh what the fuck now.