EmpressAngel

Netflix can go ahead and keep this one.

Housing Complex- I don't know what's going on but I always approve of hitting someone with a bat. So uh what's up with that flashback? Kids having fun? Not on my fucking watch. Gee that suddenly dead bug seems ominous. Ah hell who's dead? This girl is adorable. Mood, kiddo. Ohhh do not go in that underground tunnel there is nothing good down there. Definitely starting to get creeped out by how fixated everybody is with this little girl. Oh hey, I've heard of this thingy before. I'm sure this line about not trusting your eyes isn't gonna be important later. Oh I don't like that. I'm with the kid playing some shitty mobile game instead of watching the scenery. Okay so her mom's definitely dead and she's seeing ghosts right? That's way too many white dudes. Fucking weeb. This is either the setup for a murder or a sitcom, there is nothing in between. Hey child, what the fuck? Thanks, incredibly large man. This guy seems nice he is going to die so fast. Oh good they're friend and nothing bad will ever happen now. Please don't take your new friend into the haunted murder bunker. Aw fuck it's time to get murdered. I like Yuri she's a good kid. What a relief it's just the weeb, you can outrun him easily. Meanwhile, fish murder. I hope racist granny dies. Waifu down. Yashahime- I like when Moroha gets to do things. Oh right, Riku's blind and nobody cares. It's just lotion calm the fuck down. Oh right, Setsuna is doing something. Maybe we should just let Rin die and escape the creep that knocked her up as a child. Oh yeah because nothing stops a monster made of fire like a fucking wood fence. These bulls just look so pathetic I can't even insult them. wow it's shocking that the plan didn't work out. Oh what the fuck now. And now our villain, who gives so few shits he doesn't remember why he's attacking them. This is stupid and I hate all of you. Way to fuck it up, flashback lady. You start simping for some village girl and everything goes to hell. Why are you sidekick cows so fucking stupid looking? Why does your himbo son not wear a shirt? I DON'T CARE, SHOW. And now she can activate the magic floss bullshit or whatever it is, I don't care. Oh what the fuck is THIS. I'm sure this would be very moving if these two random characters mattered at all. Lupin- Who's this girl? Welcome to...Greenland, I'm guessing? Oh this is gonna be depressing. Good news kid you're gonna read about your mom getting railed. If she starts singing Mama Mia I'm out. Alright so how is this gonna relate back to Lupin at all? Did you fuck my mom, Lupin? It's a seal! Oh right, there was an actual plot with this lady who might be Lupin's mom. Okay so y'all got a long family history of getting knocked up at 16. Oh hey is that the one girl who shot the other lady? Why is this suddenly getting super ominous? Meanwhile, Goemon cathces a fish. Hi pops. Oh I don't like where this is going. Fuuuuuuuuck. I'm sorry, what just happened? And then she died of sad mom disease. Well, that sure was a thing that happened. One Piece- Hi Law! Come back with a warrant, lady. Hey maybe the nice marines will help these kidnapped children. Well that's some depressing childhood trauma. Chopper is a good boy. I don't trust this master guy. I love Kung Fu Chopper. This seems ominous. Well those sure are some terrifying giant corpses hidden in the ice walls. Franky you have a centaur mode. Just help him find his son. Meanwhile, Luffy shenanigans. Hey you leave our banana boat alone. Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Brook is a gift. There goes the samurai. Goddammit Luffy you got the cops called. Law definitely got hotter after the time skip. Get off my porch, Smoker. Oh hey, the kids. Franky is the best babysitter. Smoker didn't sign up for this today. Maybe just take the kids and leave. Law regrets answering that door. You don't need powers to get me in your room, baby. Fuck this ship in particular. Guys don't fight I have room enough in my heart and/or bed for both of you. You centaur fucks leave our boat alone! Oh wow 80 million, I'm pretty sure half the crew's higher than that. Aww, now his feelings are hurt. I volunteer to grab Robin. I hope somebody grabbed those disembodied legs. Aw fuck now there's sharks. Akainu ruins everything. RIP Zoro's tits. Brook to the rescue! I think Brook might be my favorite Straw Hat. They beat up the sharks. Get these people some coats, stat. Somebody grab one for Usopp before he dies. Law's so cool. Ohhhh, Law cut him up. Uh hey Law what are you doing. Oh please tell me we're doing a bodyswap episode. YESSSSS. Sanji's having the best day. Fuck this ship in particular, again. I bet Law's unbeatable in Tetris. Joke's on you, he doesn't give a shit about his job. Somker he is gonna beat your ass. It's okay Tashigi the important thing is you tried.

This is his scariest story of all.

Idk, I feel like Disney and Amazon would be totally fine with throwing out more money to pick up the broadcast rights just to spite a competitor.

Can't wait to go from watching Little Mermaid with my niece to the BLOOD WAR

I hate this take because even a bad show has value. It represents years of work on the creators' part, and now they have nothing to show for it. Even if it sucked (and I wouldn't know because why the fuck would I care about a cartoon made for small children based on a 40-year old IP), dozens of people still put their time and effort into it and it's shitty that it's basically being sent to the shadow realm never to be seen again.

Yashahime- How's Towa gonna fuck it up this time? Who the fuck is that kid? Oh goddammit this bitch found herself a friend. I still don't know what the deal is with these damn pearls but I'm pretty sure the show doesn't know that either. Kirara deserves a better show. Here, take my knockoff Batn and Bodyworks lotion. Moroha shows up and my brain produces a single molecule of serotonin. Why the fuck is this guy still here when everyone knows he's a direct camera to the villain? Hi, random schmucks I have no attachment to. Oh great, they're sexist. Can you not just throw water on the fire cows? O hthat thing just looks pathetic. Moroha with a Swiss army knife genuinely makes me smile. Please just kill Towa here. I want Takechiyo to die. Oh, it's not Takechiyo but I still hate this child. So what underage teenager did Kirinmaru fuck to get this kid? What's with this fuckin ghost kid? Oh what the fuck now. LOOK WITH YOUR SPECIAL EYES. Uhhh so if Kirinmaru could see out of his eyes, wouldn't blinding him just help Towa? Why does that one guy not wear a shirt. Yes Towa this is all your fault and you're the worst. Moroha almost makes the rest of this garbage series tolerable. Lupin- And now for something completely different. This girl is adorable. Fuck you, bridge! Hiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko. It's okay kid we're all gay for Fujiko. Oh god she's shipping her with Jigen. Jigen is now Dandy. Aw crap, Goemon's got covid. I love this kid she's cracking me up. Sorry kid his first and only love is GUN. Welcoe to Fishing Simulator. Lupin your neck is broken maybe don't go scuba diving. Mermaid Fujiko is doing things for me. Just wait til you meet Player #3, kiddo. SLAP. Lupin being #1 simp is my favorite thing. They're friends now and I like that. Oh my god this is gonna be good. She drew a fucking storyboard for it. I'm wheezing. I think Lupin won there. Can I also pledge my undying love to mermaid Fujiko while we're here? Don't worry girl that's just their fetish. GODDAMMIT KID. Well you're getting closer with the spy idea. One Piece- So what's with the giant daycare center? Kids love Franky. Awww they love Chopper too. Franky is somehow the best babysitter. He's looking for his son, Nemomonosuke. Yes please limit your weapon usage around the small children. I love how Robin thinks. Can I ride on Zoro next? Banana boat! Aw crap that guy's got a horn. Oh fuck what are they doing with the kids. You have activated Dr Chopper. I don't trust the guys in the full body gas masks, kids. Uhhhh kids, y'all doing nokay? I don't know what's going on here but I don't like it. Nami is the best. I like when Sanji gets to be cool. Watch some violence, children! Lupin vs Sanji in a contest for biggest simp on the block. Meanwhile, Brook. This seems ominous. Oh hey, it's the rest of that guy. Hiiiii Smoker. These marines are gonna be so confused between the centaurs and the giant kids and the dismembered torso stabbing people. Smoker's not having a good time. These marines are kinda idiots. That is a very large man. More centaurs! Oh my god Usopp shut up. Meanwhile, Chopper is a good boy. Franky's having fun. Great job Sanji now the room is filling up with gas. Uh you okay there samurai dude? Meanwhile meanwhile, Brook's having a rough day. Brook you don't have eyes either. So what the hell happened to that guy anyways? What's the deal with science Hexxus here? Who are you are you hot? Uh y'all might not wanna drop those gas masks yet. Vegapunk, huh? Come back with a warrant, fucksticks. YES YOU'RE HOT, HIIIII LAW. Oh sweet he's a Warlord now. Jesus christ Law. My heart is still available to steal, Law.

Lucky for all of you that at my core I am a hater.

I wonder if that guy ever got put on the right combination of court-ordered medications. Actually Family Guy related, it's always pretty bonkers to remember that the reason it became one of the most successful shows Fox has ever had because Adult Swim pulled it out of their dumpster 20 years ago.

I think this is my favorite one so far.

Hell, who was that one weirdo who'd flip out and post death threats over One Piece opinions?

Sometimes a post is so stupid it leaves a permanent imprint in your memory. The real reason they nuked the old boards was to hide all the dumb shit we said 10-15 years ago.

Remember kids, any company that refuses to discuss unions doesn't care about their workers.

Ranlsa had a lot of nutbar posts but my favorite will always be finding out that she truly believed Bleach's universe was centered around Christian theology and Soul Society was just purgatory where everyone was there to work off their sins. 10/10 bonkers theory right there.

All I know about Genshin is that there are so many horny fans throwing money at it.

I never thought a character would make me miss Shippo and yet here we are. Yashahime- Okay I get that Setsuna is a violin prodigy but how does Towa know that song on flute? I'm not lucky enough for this demon to kill them. Well that was anticlimactic. Towa you stupid fuck. I agree with Setsuna for once, just go the fuck home. Oh fuck me not Takechiyo. I miss the old show. Moroha, still zero competition as best girl. Buddy she's not gonna give a shit about her zombie niece. Wow what a surprise she's still an evil bitch. Is this other batch of demon slayers Tanjiro's group? Takechiyo makes me miss Shippo and I fucking hate that. Yes we all know Towa sucks. Give Sango more screen time I'm begging you. Oh hey Hachi. It's nice that this season actually gives a shit about the parents. It's okay Moroha I'm your mom now. Really, her inability to retreat is her ONE weakness? I appreciate that literally no one trusts Towa to do anything. I love my idiot daughter. Oh good, the rock things are back. Oh what the fuck now. "Yeah Towa can't do shit and is a load on everyone." Lupin- Hiiiiiii Fujiko. Oh hey, she has a friend. Number one simp. So are we just done with the whole cop lady getting murdered by Lupin's friend last week? Now I want lollipops. I like this girl she seems fun. Get in line asshole we're all horny for Fujiko. Girl you're gonna choke on that sucker at this rate. We're gonna join a cult, ladies. Wait up I don't trust her. Haa, Lupin's jealous. Aw fuck she's gonna try and steal Fuji's organs isn't she. I can't stop staring at her tits. Nun Fujiko is definitely smeone's fetish. Oh is this the same guy with the weird brand thing from earlier? God I'm gay. Yep it's that same guy what a surprise. I'm still not sure if this girl is playing dumb or actually this stupid. I know this is a serious moment but GOD I'm thirsty. Now would be a great time for Lupin to show up and help. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER. You got me on that, she's good afterall. Hey Lupin! And then they murdered a dude. Oh shit. Awww, that's nice. Congratulations you're technically a dilf now. One Piece- Speaking of great tits, hi Zoro. Nothing to see here, just some dude's disembodied lower half. This is weird even for One Piece. Legs, join the crew! Right in the nuts. Sweet, free lunch. Centaur Luffy. What is up with this island? And now, some kinda giant bird thing. It's a lady bird! Meanwhile, SCIENCE. I don't trust this guy but his theme slaps. Alright Brook you're gonna have to rescue the rest of the crew. I love Brook so goddamn much. Can't Franky just shoot his way out? I love these idiots. Oh hey, I bet this head goes with those legs. Well this is different. This is exactly how I feel in the heat. Centaurs, everywhere. What in the hell. Oh cool she's a harpy. He has no ass but you can still kick it. I want Nami and Fujiko to be friends. I sense this head's got a tragic pirate-related backstory for us. Guys, Franky's literally got guns built into him. So cool. Bring the head with you. Surely this guy's mystery son won't be important at all. Hi there, random kids on the freaky science island. Those are some biiiig kids. It's nice that Luffy made a new friend. Brook is having way too much fun here. Brook murdered the shit out of those guys. I love Brook's little skull teacup. Oh no they're not friend anymore. Maybe you can make a better friend, Luffy. Dr. Leggingston. I'd also like a snowcone. The hell is this guy? Hiiii Smoker. This shit ain't adding up, folks. AW FUCK IT'S THAT LAVA ASSHOLE WHO KILLED MY BOYFRIEND.

Yashahime- Oh, Towa finally figured out she needs sleep. This girl is terrible and I want her to die. Didn't she organize some kind of death game last season because Towa bumped into her one day? Oh what the fuck. Y'all fuckin yet? How's your hot mom doing, kid? This is painful. On the other hand, I'd rather sit through those lessons than hang out with Towa. What, you're only allowed to have one monk per family or something? Kohaku sure did get generically attractive and that is the best compliment I can give this week. Yes, he suffered the deep tragedy of getting minor cosmetic damage across his face. Just let her die. Towa, still the fucking worst. She's right, where is Moroha and why aren't we watching her? Oh they fuckin. She deserves to be murdered by the tentacle monster and you should let it happen. Oh hey, it's their other kids. Anybody else wanna see her violently murdered or just me here? Oh great, now she's thirsty. Oh she wants to ride something alright. Kilala deserves a better series. Be a parent, beat her ass. I also have a lot of pent up aggression after experiencing this episode. Fuck off, TOWA. Yeah your mom is rapidly dying from the curse you reactivated but sure you've got all the time in the world for shenanigans and mournful violin solos. Lupin- Alright Lupin you gotta break Pops outta jail this week. So y'all fuckin yet? The plot, it thickens. Whelp, time for the sidekick to get his ass beat. Your girlfriend's a badass. Oh they fuckin. Oh hey, she's another tutor kid. Damn bitch that's cold. So you didn't think that maybe the lady who was being explicitly threatened by a group you were investigating was murdered by the group you were investigating? I kinda love these two bozo cops trying their best here. BAH GAWD SHE HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR. Pops is shipping it. OH THEY FUCKIN. Oh no there's only one bed. Ah hell he's gonna get herself captured. I don't know where this is going but I got a bad feeling about this. Oh no is the nice flower girl the killer? Don't trust that cake. "I bet you could easily hop a fence" is a hilarious comment if she's not the killer. Oh, I don't like that. Okay so how's all this gonna resolve itself. One Piece- Eat that time with five minute recaps, Toei. Uh I don't think islands are supposed to look like that. It's fine, the ship's fireproof. What in tarnation? The snail cries as a distress signal. Did you say samurai? Brook is a delight. I'm surely this Wano plave won't be important to the story at all in the future. Oh hey, Thriller Bark flashback. Hiiiiii Smoker. I appreciate how many dudes in this series who are willing to go tits out at all times. Alright who's gonna babysit Luffy. Usopp is suffering. Oh no why would you give the food to Luffy. MINI MERRY! I love Nami. Titties. Welcome to Punk Hazard. That won't stop Luffy because he can't read. Look, Zoro made you a door. Hellooooo Zoro's tits. Hellooooo Robin's tits. The floor is lava. Uh guys I think you just wandered into hell itself. Luffy cracks me up. I love these idiots so much. DRAGON AHOY. I hope you like excessivley long opening recaps because boy howdy are we in for it now. I hope they befriend that dragon. Oh hey it talks. Y'all might wanna get out of the way. Luffy's having a great time. Zoro's got great tits. Goddamn he's cool. And then Luffy broke half it's ribs. Whelp, they're all dead now. Meanwhile Sanji's having a great time. Uhhh guys I think something's up here. Someone get Chopper an ice pack. Oh I don't like that. And then the rest of the crew was murdered by toxic gas. Brook you don't even have lungs. Zoro you're looking really hot and sweaty you should take the rest of your clothes off. Somebody get this boy some oven mitts. What in the what. I wonder if that's the samurai they were talking about. Awww the dragon doesn't actually talk it's just the weird disembodied legs. Dragon buddy no you're chewing on your own tail. Usopp gets to help! Uh hey shouldn't that thing have like, blood and muscles and things inside it? Alright Sanji you're in charge now. Whelp so much for Sanji. Well that's freaky. Hey you forgot Brook.

Neat, can't wait to pirate Monster again.

My mom was dying from aggressive lung cancer. Keeping up with cartoons was the absolute least important thing in the world for awhile. Yashahime- I don't trust this kid. `Oh good, she hates her dad. This dude can kill all the demons he wants I'm still gonna hate him. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. No shit she's a ghost, girl's goddamn transparent. Okay but we've literally seen him in the future and nothing seems to be that weird. At least if you die you don't have to be in Yashahime anymore. Towa you're so fucking stupid. You're grounded, ghost child. Oh what the hell is this. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru continues to dodge his child support payments. It sure is nice for Towa that someone else did all the work and then just handed her the stick she needed. Show you can throw in as many characters as you want, Moroha's still the only one I care about. I hate Towa so much. Sesshomau's here to earn his Worst Dad Ever mug. I mean she didn't really meet him as much as she briefly glanced at him while being flung through the air. I hate you all. Okay so that whole subplot about her traveling with you was completely worthless. She's tired you dumb bitch. Lupin- I like this niice flower girl. Aww he bought all the flowers. Hey that's Jigen's sleepin' newspaper. Who's that lady? Oh hey, the flower girl's here. Sometimes a man just wants a good kebab. The world is dying and everyone is depressed, sounds about right. I like this lady. FRIDGE GUN. Hey lady do you know my semi-dead sorta mom? Window flash drive, go! Aw hell now you're involved in an international political scandal. Oh hey Pops. Are these two sidekick cops fucking or what. SKATEBOARD LUPIN. Maybe bringing this nice flower girl into whatever this political minefield is might not be the best idea. Significantly older brother. Oh they fuckin. What are y'all up to with Pops now? Oh, he was the asshole all along. Aw shit she's dying. Oh shit is she his real mom now? Well that ended well enough...wait what do you mean this is a two-parter. WHELP. Well now we gotta break Pops out of prison. One Piece- Life is too short to rewatch movie tie-in filler, see ya next week.

That's true. I'm sure circling back around for the rights is an option on the table. I'd actually be pretty surprised if Toonami didn't have right of first refusal with Uzumaki. Why would Uzumaki default to CR? I've literally never seen them mentioned being involved with it, just Toonami and the Japanese studio. Unless I missed them being co-prouducers on it too, there'd be no reason for it to go to them.

I know literally nothing about TV production., but I'd assume that being a co-production with a studio outside WB's bubble complicates things for them. It could very well be the case that breaking the contract and paying off their partner would cost significantly more than whatever tax writeoff they'd get for shitcanning it.

Yashahime- How's Towa gonna fuck it up this time. I don't rmember if we ever got to see him in the real series but Inuyasha's dad was hot. Show I can bring myself to care about exactly one of your characters and Moroha already has that spot locked down permanently. I miss Naraku. I still don't know what the fuck this woman's deal is or why I'm supposed to care. Wow, that is one stupid origin story for this guy. He's going to protect his kid by putting her into constant danger. It's Moroha time, bitches! Oh greatt it's time for cryptic riddles. I hope these two die offscreen. Let my feral idiot daugther save the day. Oh hey, your fucking paretns. LET MY GIRL MEET HER PARENTS. Get out of here with your cryptic bullshit. Hey maybe this Kirin guy who sounds exactly like Kirinmaru might be connected. Not now, Kikyo! Please stop showinh me the teenager that Sesshomaru knocked up. Look letting Rin die would just count as a mercy kill. Who gives a fuck about the twins, go rescue your parents. How dare you remind me of the better series whose coattails you're riding. Oh what the hell now. Lupin- Disguise time! Oh yeah I'm sure this security system is uncrackable and he'll never get past it. Wow elaborate facial recognition, never heard that one before. Oh he's gonna have fun with this. Hiiiiiii Fujicakes. Catsuit Fujiko is the reason I can never be straight. I love these idiots. Okay that ad is annoying as shit, I hope they lose just because of that. Hi Pops! Okay the unquenchable thirst part is new. Not the hat! This was all according to keikaku. Oh, the annoying ad is a clue isn't it. As if anyone doubted the whole team would show back up. Yes she's crazy but as someone also unfathomably horny, game has to recognize game here. Haaaa, that's brilliant. The different jacket colors are a nice touch. I hope there's at least one Zenigata cosplayer here. THAT FUCKING AD AGAIN. Great job lady this is was your own damn fault. She's gonna go home and jack off. One Piece- I'm a sleepy bitch and not bothering with movie tie-in filler.

Nah, I can watch Vic and his cringey fans get dunked on about this endlessly. Catch me scrolling through twitter like a raccoon digging through a dumpster.