EmpressAngel

That's fair, the custom laughs are pretty hit or miss depending on the character. Ass Class- Fucking murder Dandy is here to ruin everything. Ohhh this is not going well. Man this kid got fucked up real bad. I love this squid so much. Evil Tatum is the woooorst. No, no he is not alright. This hurts me to watch. SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE. You douchebag! Aaaand I'm crying. Dude this entire thing was your fault for being a weird science asshole. Good girl! At least one of these kids is trying to help. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Never say the words "backup wife" again, please. KILL THAT DOUCHE. Man this is really not going well. Y'all might wanna get her to a doctor right the hell now, kids. Please don't kill my favorite squid. Now he's a disco ball. I'm glad murder Dandy is finally dead. This flashback hurts. Senpai finally noticed you. Koro-sensei needs a hug. Aww he's gonna save her with magic squid powers. Is that a Dragon Ball? WE NEED CAKE, STAT. Awwww, he's the best. However this show ends is gonna destroy me. Lupin- Still slightly disappointed Goemon's not the cute knife lesbian. Hiiii Fujiko. God I love her. Fuck you, window! Parachute, bitches! Hi there, random dude. Goemon you probably shouldn't have left the girls alone without a guard. That driver's definitely evil and going to kidnap them. It's fine, Lupin's got custody of the braincells this week. I like this other detective guy he's cute. Boys don't fight you're supposed to be best friends. Aw crap they killed each other. They're only gonna need the one bed, kidnappers. Fuck you, nice old man! Oh hey, the cute guy. Hi Lupin! Surprise twins? Wait then what happened to the nice old man? Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko! What the hell is that. This seems like an unnecessarily elaborate trap. Maybe don't touch that evil control panel. Lupin if you screw up and get them all killed Fuji's never gonna forgive you. Hi Goemon, again. I don't know what's going on but I'm rooting for these lesbians. WHAT. YOU OWE ME LESBIANS, SHOW. Hi Jigen, again. What the hell is going on here????? I'm not gonna ask questions I'm just disappointed I missed out on lesbians. One Piece- Hordy, still the fucking worst. Of course she knew, you're a douchebag and you reek of evil murder stank. Megalo could you not have told the king about his wife's murder at some point? No shit they'd hold a grudge, he shot somebody! Shirahoshi an innocent man got killed in revenge over that. It's fine, I hate him enough for everyone. He's got a point, keeping that a secret was dumb as hell. Great job now your dad's dead too. Girl now would be a great time to start screaming for the sea monsters. I'm with the kids, bring in the funny hat boy. Any time now, Luffy. Oh my god has he just been inside the shark this entire time. Sushi's on the menu today, folks! Oh my god are they all in the shark. Nami and Fujiko would be good friends. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaale! Oh good, they rescued Zoro's group from the castle. Shut up, random citizens. God I love a good team pose. Are y'all sure that's the Strawhats because we had some confusion about that earlier in this arc. Uncle Fish you should know by now that recklessly is the only way Luffy faces enemies. Heroes have to share their meat. Megalo's been having a rough time in this arc. Jimbei's explaining this flashback like an episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Brook I swear to fucking god you're gonna die here. They're all idiots and I love them. Brook cracks me right the hell up. And then Zoro destroyed the entire damn palace for shits and giggles. Shirahoshi is so adorable. Call me a coward because my hate in infinite. No she's right, she di dd cause everyone a massive amount of trouble by keeping her mom's murderer a secret. Oh right, Hordy's still here. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Arlong fucking sucked, dude. Luffy, not giving a shit about this dramatic villain monologue. 10,000 to 1 seems like decent odds. BAM. Sweet there goes half your problem.

I'm just that one guy getting absolutely blitzed on the deck of the Titanic as it sinks. Ass Class- Good luck kids I believe in you. Imagine how much trouble you'd be in as a government agent getting your ass kicked by a gaggle of middle schoolers. Oh they've got a machine gun, is that all? No matter how this show ends at least Karasuma is getting laid like a madman. Tasers, motherfucker! Sorry kids the important thing is that you tried. I'm surprised so many of them made it to that squid. They're good kids. Well I'm already crying. This sucks, my dudes. I'm also in the "pervert but not dangerous" squad. Final lesson kiddos, life sucks and then you die. Always try crossdressing and making out with lunatics, got it. Someone hug that octopus. Awwwww she brought him cake. Do we even have the rights to this song? No not the cake! NOT THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN. NOT THIS OTHER ASSHOLE AGAIN! This is awful. So this dude was always an evil little fucker. Human Murder Koro is doing things for me. Man why would you dickholes make another tentacle monster. "Tentacles fueled by pure hatred" is the most threatening phrase I've ever heard. Oh no now he's gonna die defeating this douchebag and saving the kids. I'd like to get off this ride now. "Fertile ground for tentacle implantation" immediately beats out the previous worst phrase I've ever heard. Lupin- What's with the cape? Aw hell we fell into an alternate universe. Hiiiii Fujiko. Oh hey, sweet tattoo. Black Lizard is a stupid name but baby I'll call you whatever you want. I VOLUNTEER TO JOIN UP WITH FUJI. Who the fuck is this guy? God I'm gay. Oh hey Jigen. Wow this dude's a douchebag. Hate to break it to you but this girl is about to get dragged into this mess. She seems nice, I don't trust her. It's not just a clock, it's a funky magic clock. Cool, it comes with a bonus knife girl. Not this asshole again! I like her she's feisty. I hope the knife girl is alternate universe Goemon. Plot twist, it's a fake! Plot twist, the fake's a fake! They're lesbians. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko! Oh no somebody's girlfriend is about to get kidnapped. Hey there Lupin. Dangit it's regular Goemon instead of cute lesbian Goemon. One Piece- Here's your weekly reminder not to do drugs, kids. Hordy, still the fucking worst. This could be going better. Didn't see this coming did you, shark wife? Why is Decken allowed to exist. Jesus christ dude why are you like this. I like that they're using those tiny litte rifles to threaten a man the size of a goddamn building. SEABEAR NO. Guys it's just a fence you can get past it. Uncle Fish the king's gonna be dead by the time you get there. The Strawhats are inside the shark aren't they. I can't figure out what small animal Hordy skinned to make that scarf. Well this guy is about to waste his life for nothing. Fuck these corals in particular. Girls you might wanna duck. Oh hey the dudes are here. Sorry seabear. This is going too well, it's time to get their asses beat. Fuck you, evil Zoidberg. This is totes not a trap. Our girl is kinda dumb as fuck. Well this sure went straight to hell in a hurry didn't it. Yeah sweetie this was your fault. Psh, only 30,000? Okay 100,000i might give the gang a run for their money. Hordy, yet again the fucking worst. Hey there shark wife. Lady they're gonna fucking shoot you if you don't stop talking. Snitches get stitches and all that. Arlong, the original fishman piece of shit. Oh wow, I'm so surprised he was the murderer all along. IT WAS ME, I KILLED MUFASA. Y'know what just go ahead, let her scream and call the sea monsters. Meanwhile, aw hell what's this creepy fucker up to now? Ohhhhhh that can't be good. Cheese it! He's the fucking worst.

A gross? Poke, that's 144 eggs!

I demand more Captain Sexy.

Fishman Island: Your weekly reminder that drugs are bad, kids. Ass Class- Good job kids I'm proud of all of you. Awww, that's nice of him. I love this squid so much. I'm sorry what was that last one? And then he was a cat. Okay the random cowboy moment cracked me up. Ten times a day, good lord. They're married now. YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF SQUID SQUID. I always forget this little orphan girl exists. He ships it. Oh no what is this. YOU BETRAYED US. Dude you could have at least waited for him to finish the yearbook. Fuck all of you. Oh thank god, he's still alive. He's having a rough night. Okay so we got a week to save him from the magic squid net. You guys should probably just let Karma do all the talking here, he's the smart one of your class. Kids you're assassins, at least one of you should be able to sneak in and off him. Koro-sensei would want you to bring him snacks and porn. Could you not just hook up the vocaloid girl for company? Awwwww squid. You're right kids the news is, in fact, redonk. AWWWWWWWWWWW he's still working on the yearbook. Lupin- Oh no what is this. This waitress has seen some shit. I respect a woman who gives absolutely zero fucks. Well it's good that he likes her, I guess. I have no idea what's going on here. Sorry our food sucks. Ohhh that guy's definitely delivering a gun. Lady I've seen enough Tarantino movies to know you need to get the hell out of there right now. Okay which of these dudes is Lupin wearing a hyper realistic mask? Girl you should probably duck now. They used different voices othis time, that's cheating! Oh hey, the real waitress. Hiiiiii Fujiko. Uhh is this guy okay? Honestly she could shoot me and I'd thank her for it. This is more than I ever wanted to know about Earnest Hemingway. All I knew about Dulles before now was that I once got stuck in a five-hour layover in the airport named after him and that's alone is enough to earn my hatred. Awww she didn't shoot him that's nice of her. It's okay Fuji I won't make you cook. One Piece- Guys do we really have time for you to have a dramatic friend fight right now? I goddamn love Brook. Uhh hey Brook whatcha doing? BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE BONE. Oh, that's new. He's the best. Oh goddammit Brook. Luffy your friends are gonna be dead by the time you get there. Ooh, fishman karate's cool. He said the Gandalf thing! Guys could you not just have Luffy go save his crew and Uncle Fish go save Neptune? Oh hey Robin. Could she always just straight up clone herself? Meanwhile, don't fuck with Fukaboshi. Neptune is having none of your shit today. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Yeah you could find the keys but giving Zoro a sword is so much cooler. That poor starfish is having a rough day. BROOK NO. Goddammit Brook. Look I agree that humans are goddamn terrible but Arlong was a total bag of smashed assholes. Hachi's a good boy. Everybody needs a hug. GODDAMMIT SANJI. Remember kids, don't do drugs! Not the candy factory! Can we put a muzzle on that thing? Joke's on you Hordy's fucking crazy. I kinda love this guy's verbal tic. Drugs are bad! Meanwhile that guy is drunk as fuuuuuck. Never trust a violent drunk. That was a nice building you jackass! Meanwhile, Evil Zoidberg is here to ruin your day. I'm with him, roaches are the worst. He'll tell you when he's had enough drugs! Guys just send Chopper he's not even a human. Man that seabear is cracked out of his mind. Okay the blood-suckign squid spear is kinda fucked up. DRUGS ARE BAD, Y'ALL. Ohhh that ain't right. Well this can't be good.

LET'S FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOOOOO

My tired ass getting to sleep an hour earlier is the greatest gift of all. Ass Class- CHRISTMAS! This squid is a mood. Karma's here for VENGEANCE. Nagisa's gonna be the best little assassin. Is that the one orphan brat? Or a teacher, teacher works too. Koro-sensei is the best. Happy Valentines! Awww, she's adorable. Oh they're all pairing up now. I like the gun kids respecting each other. That creepy girl cracks me up. Goddammit squid! You can do it, girl! That one boy is desperate. Awwwwwww. Koro goddammit you're going to ruin everything! "I love it when he's in murder mode!" Oh my god just spit it out. Oh that hurts, show. GET IT KARASUMA. OH my god just fuck already. Ohhh I don't like the vibes here. Just let him jack off to his dead girlfriend, ya douche. Why do we still let this asshole be in charge? Did...did he get him chocolate? The world does indeed suck, I wouldn't mind it ending either. The end of this show is gonna break me no matter what. Stop pissing her off and just date her! Awwwwwww he likes her. OH THEY FUCKIN. Lupin- IT'S LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAINS! Nobody who loves their kid names it Manfred. Ah hell they're the Hardy Boys. Hiiii Fujiko. GOD I'M GAY. "If I described your type, it'd be 'breathing' " killed me. Sweet, costume party. I wanna see that elephant on a train. Sorry dude your nephews are dumb as fuck. Is that guy wearing a fake mustache over his real mustache? My god these boys are horny. The hyper realistic mask thing never stops amusing me. You can't fool me Tony Oliver I know that's you. MAID FUJIKO, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Mustaches everywhere. Hi Lupin! Oh no is Fujiko okay? God I love her. Oh big deal like this is the first time they've been cornered by a bunch of goons. Please tell me she teams up with the elephant. NOT NOW, POPS. Y'all know you could just shoot someone to kill them instead of doing some elaborate train shit. Oh my god he's on a pony. Awww the little girl's helping. I can't believe these two dimwits are gonna save the day. These are the weirdest vehicles in the show yet. This is exactly what traveling is like in the Rocky Mountains. This episode is cracking me up. Get her off the tracks, dumbass. Nooo not her hair! Jigen's about to shoot these kids. He's so fucking cool. That robot is trying his best. BEAT HIS ASS, ELEFUN. I choose to believe he's asking the elephant for a statement. God I wish that were me. One Piece- Last time, crippling depression. Uncle Fish needs a hug. This random human schmuck definitely did it and was totally not set up as a red herring. Fucking Hordy, always terrible. Everyone needs a hug. Neptune's having a real rough time. I'm definitely not crying here. Decken is the fucking worst. Awww, the kids. Their family got a running start on quarantining away from the population and doing video conferences. Shut the fuck up, Sanji. Nami is the best. Awww everyone's crying. I forgot Franky was here. And then Luffy died. Goddammit Luffy. Awwww, the girls are friends. Oh right, there's a violent coup happening in the palace. That is one big snail. Aw fuck. Y'all are fish some of you could just float over the picture. Fuck you, Hordy. Oh right, they all got into a huge fight with everybody in the palace. Oh hey Roger. You diiiiiiiiiick. Hordy fucking sucks. Hey, you give my skeleton back and also the others! Zoro is either too drunk or too sober for this. Oh yeah, just leave them trapped in a room with plans to kill them slowly in a thematically appropriate way, that always goes well. Everyone disliked that. Brook is a delight. Well we know Usopp's nose can't be used as a magic wand. I goddamn love Brook. He's having a good time. Usopp with the Robin eyes is unnerving. Meanwhile, oh shit she found the thing. SURELY this Joy Boy fellow won't ever be important to the story in the future, no siree. You know Luffy's not gonna think about this. Shirahoshi is a good kid. Uh bro I don't think she knows about that. Chopper you're not even a human! Uncle Fish it's time for a teamup. ACE I MISS YOU. Aw hell we're gonna have a friend fight aren't we.

What in tarnation

Gotta be honest, I'm mostly happy to get to go to bed an hour earlier. Shenmue- Good fucking luck, Ryo. You can go ahead and drop Wong off the roof. Ryo gets clapped in 3...2...1... Well the important thing is you tried. Thanks, old man. Lan Di is really cool. Ryo/Reni s very clearly the real OTP for this show. Dang Ryo you kinda suck at fighting now. False alarm, I assume someone just unplugged the game controller for a couple minutes. Eat shit, fat dude. Last chance to bang discount Nami. Oh hey, an explanation. I forgot about the mirror. Aw hell are we gonna have to buy the DLC for the rest of the story? Nothing ever actually happened with that girl who speaks in cryptic riddles, did it? Poor Joy never got laid. Here, have this bit of trash my cat barfed up. Wait is her brother not dead? Wait is Nami's dad not dead? Bananas, yo. I hope Ren goes with him. GOAT. Oh hey, she did a thing. I don't care who has to die, you save that goat. Ohhh, so that's where the name comes from. Ryo it's been like months by this point I'm pretty sure you can take that bandaid off your face now. Does your father just live down in that mine shaft? Sorry dad, Ryo's not gonna fuck your daughter. I'll have forgotten everything about this series long before another season ever comes out. Titan- Mikasa needs a hug. Nice hat. Mikasa that is a very good question. Nice hats for everyone! SASHA! Levi looks good in a nice suit. Haa, they don't know what cars are. Okay that carrot line cracked me up. Goddamn pickpocket child. ice cream! God I love Sasha so much. That's also how I react any time I make ice cream. Levi's about to murder the molestation clown. Oh no leave the kid alone. I goddamn love Levi. CHEESE IT. Ungrateful little bastard. Oh yeah I'm sure this plan of yours is gonna go just great. Goddammit Eren. Look we all dudes we're into that we can't explain and are deeply ashamed of ourselves over. Hi there, random old guy. Hey, you've made a friend! Getting drunk as shit is really the common thread that unites all of us as humans. This speech is not gonna end well for anybody. Oh hey, an explanation for that. Fuck you, Eren. Oh right, wasn't Historia knocked up? Gee Eren it sure is weird how no decent person is on board with this plan. I hope Levi gets to kill Zeke next season. MY LEG. Your brilliant plan to help your friends got Sasha killed, you dumb basatard. Shit is well and truly going down now. Jesus christ he looks terrifying. WHELP. Ass Class- We're hijackinga rocket, kiddos. Senku approves of this message. Aww, techno boy is a good boy. I love Karma. Just casually breaking into NASA, no big deal. This is where they do the science! Well look at that, Vocaloid girl finally does something I can appreciate. That sure is a totally inconspicuous squid monster. Good luck boys you're gonna need it. Koro-sensei is the best teacher. There he go. I'm just assuming everything in this episode is factually sound. SPACE HIJACKING! Imagine being the astronauts who have to explain later that they've been held hostage by some middle school kids on the fucking space station. Ohhh a bomb, they're so scared. Aww they're good dudes. Wheeeeee! Surprise, the bomb was fake. This feels like it went too well. Vocaloid girl is evolving! The kids sure got into a lot of shenanigans while the teachers were off fucking. New plan, dope him up with that magic drug asap. That is surprisingly convenient. Lupin- Lupin why are you giving that little girl severe PTSD? You'd think at some point they'd just stop sending pops out after him. Give us the exposition dump, my good man! Caw caw motherfuckers. Fujiko/treasure is my OTP. I can't stop staring at Fujiko's tits. Called it, Watson's dead. Ohh, she's Watson's kid. Gee I'm sure that completely dark room with no lights isn't ominous at all. Get that woman her treasure immediately, goddammit. Hey there, Sherlock. Wow what a fucking nerd. Yeah yeah we get it, Sherlock is a perfect counter to the entire group and they can't beat him on their own. TITS. Damn he even seduced Fujiko that's impressive. Dude he's just trying to take care of his dead boyfriend's kid. Oh hey pops. Oh bye pops. Lily's having a rough time. I like that Lupin's friend from the other series has just become a recurring part of the franchise. One Piece- I am old and tired and my brain is scrambled eggs. I love Uncle Fish and humans are the worst.

I'm guessing contract disputes plus budget constraints are really biting us in the ass. The Funi/CR merger's been handled pretty poorly in other aspects, so it really wouldn't surprise me if getting new content from them is less about bad blood or money issues and more about Sony's goons just simply not having whatever necessary legal details fully ironed out to give Toonami broadcast rights for new shows yet. Meanwhile I'd be shocked if they weren't trying to save every penny they possibly could for Bleach, because there's no way that's not gonna come with a huge price tag. Although with Netflix's current issues, they might actually have a better shot of picking that up.

Count your blessings, those crossovers were fucking awful. Shenmue- Last time, the boys fucked up. Discount Nami's accepted that she's never getting any dick. Don't provoke the fat guy he's gonna catch up to you eventually. Hey maybe stop idling on the street and drive your bike away from the guy who wants to kill you. Is this Chainsaw Man? Oh, I guess she's somebody important's kid then. It's fine we can always rescue her with another forklift. What the hell is that guy wearing. Now the kid gets his own sidequest. Meanwhile, rats. Y'all gonna explain what this dude's deal is or nah? Sidequests paying off! Okay then we're just never gonna explain this guy's outfit. Ha, bike guy. Dudes you should probably just grab her and cheese it. Floor it, grandpa! Oh no, he's too fat to brute force you way past. I'm kinda rooting for Chainsaw Twink here. Big deal like this is the first time he's been put into handcuffs by a shirtless muscle dude. He's having a bad day. Oh hey Lan Di. Titan- Well folks this plan has gone right to shit in a hurry. Oh fuuuuuuuuuuck. Whelp the entire planet's screwed. Y'all are gonna wanna put a rush job on that. At least Annie's having a good time. Whoever manages to kill this douchewad earns my eternal gratitude. That arm was just holding you back. Thanks Reiner. Falco is a good boy. Id on't know who just blew them up but thank you. Calm down Annie this is no time to lose your head. Connie's got some rage isues to work out right about now. Everybody needs a hug. Thanks, packmule. Good luck with the titan thing, kiddo. At least he gets a cool design. Bite that asshole in half, good boy! Holy shit, did something GOOD actually happen when Gabi shot someone? Remember, don't fuck with Mikasa. Somebody grab Monster Falco and run. Whelp, he's dying here. FUCK YEAH BALD SEITZ. God speed, old dudes. This could be going better. Mikasa honey Eren sucks, date literally anyone else on the ship. Ass Class- Previously, holy shit Nagisa. You should probably just shoot him. Karma's so cool. I'm surprised he realized Nagisa's a boy. In case you forgot Karma's kinda ducktits bonkers. Have fun beating the piss out of each other, kiddos. I love this squid. I think ya got him, dude. SURPRISE BITCH. Weaponized hug, go! Nagisa sweetie you can let go now. True friendship is not stabbing them in their weak spot. Okay so how do we save him now? I don't think it'll be that easy, folks. Vocaloid girl might be the only kid in this class I dislike. The space station, saving squid monsters AND avoiding being turned to stone for thousands of years. Ignore what we're about to say we're just gonna talk about some illegal shit. We're going into spaaaaace. Lupin- I'm sure this random guy with his secret cane isn't about to kick off a plot. This isn't even the first anime Sherlock Holmes I've watched this year. Oh hey he's acceptably attractive I can work with this. Oh hey is that Lupin's friend from the other series? SURPRISE LUPIN. Well hey now you got a free convertible. He did save your life you kinda owe him one. Oh my god please tell me this adorable schoolgirl is our Watson. I'm here for this modern renaissance of hot young Mrs. Hudsons. Hiiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko. God I'm gay. Oh that seems ominous. Well this could have gone better. Hi pops! Okay then so Watson's dead. Fuji honey escape first exposition later. That's definitely not a fake letter just to get you out of the action. He's running because you're chasing him. I love this little girl. She's like ten just buy her a Nintendo. And then shit exploded, again. Uh hey Lupin what the fuck. What is this ED. One Piece- Oh that title sounds ominous. Awwww she's so cute. Fuck you, Arlong. Arlong, still the fucking worst. I love you Uncle Fish. Congratulations you now have several dozen fish uncles. Awwww they're holding hands. I love this child so much. Can somebody beat the shit out of Arlong already. Aww she got to go home finally. OH FUUUUUCK. What is this dude's hair. You're fish you don't need a ship. Remember, fuck the government. Tiger. He's right, humans are the fucking worst. Somebody hug Tiger. I wonder whatever happened to Koala. Fuck you, Arlong. Kizaru, still high as fuck. Jimbe's a good dude. Aww look at lil' giant Shirahoshi. I have the exact same reaction whenever I'm walking into a grocerys tore and there's someone shilling for a petition. Humans are the fucking worst! Sorry kids Mommy needs to go get drunk in the bathtub. Okay I was joking about the drunk thing but apparently not. Drunk queen makes a good point and way more sense than I make when I'm hammered. Jimbe don't fuck around. Oh hell no Hordy you get the hell out of here. Beat his ass, Uncle Fish. You should have killed him. How does Aladdin move on land?

This show deserves an award. Shenmue- Beat his ass! Meanwhile, Ryo's dead. Hey sometimes revenge is the right path you don't know everything, lady. FIGHT ME. And then she killed Ryo. That's the People's Elbow. Hi, discount Nami. We gotta go rrescue that old guy. She's helped you enough now you gotta bang her. My dumb ass would ahve immediately tripped over the single obstacle in the dark room and cracked my skull open. I have lost track of how many sidequests we've had a long time ago. Discount Nami is tired of not getting laid. I miss the girl who slapped people. This weird guy's also trying to get Ryo to fuck him. I'm sure Lan Di isn't going to show up and murder the shit outta this fat guy. Oh, discount Nami's got a tragic backstory. Yes, this is totallly a conversation that you shady bastards should be having in public. Ren coming out of nowhere and suckerpunching that guy in the gut made me laugh. Sorry boys this was all a trap. Titan- If hange dies I'm flipping a table. Use Yelena as a meatshield and just barge in. No, kill the shit outta them. Connie sweetie those aren't your friends they're trying to kill the entire planet. God I love Hange. Please kill her already. Gabi I swear to god if you ruin this again I'm beating you with a chair. Man, this guy experienced some real positive character growth in about ten minutes. Fuuuuuuuuuck yooooooooou. I really hope this guy is stupid as fuck. Noooo we're totally on your side. No seriously did I just completely misremember Armin becoming a titan because I don't think he's done literally anything with that since it happened. YOU ARE THE WOOOOORST. Good for you, old lady. Oh my god somebody just kill him already. You shoulda just killed them all from the start. "You said we'd eat meat together" is cracking me up. TITANS, DOUCHEBAGS. It's nice to see Annie back in action. Oh hey, is Armin finally gonna do some titan shit? Nope, not today it's all on Connie. Ass Class- No offense kids but I don't like your odds on curing him as a flock of middle schoolers. Uhh i think Karma broke. Oh shit Nagisa's got some moves. I love that squid. Okay kids new plan we're playing paintball. This is gonna hurt me. Look kids sometimes the ultimate act of love would be putting me out of my fucking misery. Honestly I still don't remember a solid 3/4 of these students. This is gonna end up with Nagisa and Karma having to face each other alone. Man some of you kids are dumb as hell. However this ends is gonna break my heart. Nagisa holy shit. Lupin- Big deal you're in jail you'll be out in three minutes, tops. Hiiiiii Fujiko. Goddammit Fujiko! Fucking drones and their weird plastic gunk. I am also old and tired of my job. Boys stop fighting you're both pretty. You okay there Jigen? Something's up here don't drink that. Hi pops! You don't hang out with Lupin for the jobs you hang out with him for the personality. God I love Fujiko. Something's up here Jigen's not right. Fujiko/money is my OTP. Alright that was a good shot that might be actual Jigen. Meat fight! God I'm gay for her. Everyone knows Lupin/Jigen is the real OTP. Everybody's drunk and fighting, just like an average family reunion. Fuji if Jigen doesn't wanna work for you I will pay you for the opportunity. Hi pops, again. Not those damn drones again. It's fine it's nothing a little explosives won't fix. Eat shit, drones. I always love the Lupin car. Joke's on you he's just gonna blow the place right the fuck up. God he's cool. New jacket, go. CUE THE SONG. One Piece- In this house we stan Fisher Tiger. I love you, Uncle Fish. SLAP. Okay how the hell did she survive having Shirahoshi? Her strongest attack is making you ashamed of yourself. Everyone loved her and then she died tragically. Lady I know you mean well but goddamn do humans suck and should be avoided at all costs. Giant baby! This is too wholesome it's gonna end badly. Again, humans are the worst. Uncle Fish needs a hug. FUCKING ARLONG AGAIN. Please beat Arlong's ass. Tiger's right, humans fucking suck. We stan a legend. Owww that looks painful. Awww, that's actually really sweet. That baby is too large. Lady I admire your optimism but you're massively underestimating how much humans suck. I'm gonna punch baby Hordy. Brilliant move there, attacking the FISH PIRATES in the open ocean. God fucking damnit Arlong. Meanwhile, Kizaru is high as balls. I would follow Tiger into hell and back. Arlong is a massive bag of dicks, we're all thinking it. I'm loving the queen hounding people like an insanely persistent Jehova's Witness. Here, have this child. This girl needs a hug. GODDAMMIT ARLONG. Oh no, the nobles broke her. Jesus christ kid. Tiger what the FUCK. I know you did it to help but holy shit my dude. Well I'm crying right now. Awwww, you got your own Fish Dad. Awwwww she gets to cry.

I still can't get over the weirdly hot CGI Jigen from the movie.

Did this woman personally shit in your cornflakes or are you just that ridiculously salty that she had the nerve to act in a show you didn't like? It was bad and it got cancelled, who even gives a fuck?

Tonight killed me. Shenmue- I keep forgetting that one girl who speaks in cryptic riddles exists. I don't trust this guy but I do respect someone who chooses to do business with their tits out. Another sidequest! Time for another mook fight. PLAYER THREE HAS ENTERED THE GAME. Well boys the important thing is you tried. Somebody's gonna have to cut their hand off. The ol' GET HELP ploy. Ryo I'm pretty sure that scrape on your face has healed by now, you can take that bandaid off. Oh yeah this fight is gonna go just great. CHEESE IT. You'll be fine he's too fat to jump. Maybe Ryo's just been gay as hell this whole time. Meanwhile, traumatic flashback for that lady. Oh hey, you found a clue on that tape. And now is it time for a sidequest to rescue that guy? False alarm, it's bird time. This guy just wants to be gay and feed birds. I think that counts as a hate crime. Well you found that guy pretty easy. That bird is about to betray you. You've been bamboozled! Yeah I'm sure that flimsy closet door is gonna hold him. It's funny to me that even having never played these games I can still recognize this entire key sequence as a game mechanic. Great job boys ya blew it. And then Ryo died. BEAT HIS ASS. Titan- His imaginary wife sure looks a whole lot like Mikasa. Jean is a good boy. Don't worry Levi'll be up and murdering titans in no time. Hange is the best. I miss Erwin. Time for a well-earned potato break. Listen here douchebag you tried to titan-genocide them first. Just let Jean beat his ass. Yeeeeah I think it's a little late to talk this all out with Eren. Girl fight! Annie sweetie your dad kinda sucks ass. Fuck yeah, stew! Sweet, free boat. Y'all can just go ahead and kill Yelena if you want. Yelena is the WORST. Imagine doing all that because you're thirsty over Zeke of all people, the sheer embarrassment would have killed me. Shut up bitch nobody cares about you. You keep Sasha's name out of your fucking mouth. Happy festivus, ya cunt. All of them need a hug. Depression Reiner, still the most attractive one in this series. Gabi still sucks but do it for Falco. Don't waste that stew! God I love Levi. Not these assholes again! Ass Class- I know he was an assassin who killed a shitton of people but he still needs a hug. Her fiance can fuck off these two are cute together. Titties. This is too wholesome it's gonna hurt me any minute now. Being on teh verge of tears over my job is just an average work day. Aw fuck here we go. Fucking lab rat. Stop him with your boobs. Oh that's just mean. YOU ASSHOLE. Oh no, I always assumed you just had a fetish for torturing people. This hurts me. This fucking dickbag killed your girlfriend. Aaaand I'm crying. Oh no her revenge thing was all a huge misunderstanding. Man his death is really gonna destroy me. Everyone needs a hug. She likes you, you little dork. Thanks, bitch sensei. Uh kiddo I don't think you're all gonna become genius scientists in the next two months. Abyss- Now for something that's gonna hurt me even worse! WAIT WHAT, NO. I got a bad feeling about this flashback. Ohhh I'm already crying. I do not trust Bondrewd. She looks like a Pokemon trainer. Oh noooo that's human Mitty. Sorry girl the cave monster says it's bedtime. These tiny lesbians are going to break my heart. I got a real bad feeling about this. Get out of here random dude, your silly ethics have no place here. I don't like where this is going. Oh fuck that science chamber can't be a good thing. OH FUUUUUUUUUUCK. Spoiler alert Bondred fucking sucks. I'd like to get off this ride now please. OHHHHHHH THIS HURTS. This is fucked up. Jesus fucking christ, show. Mitty is best girl. Do not let Nanachi cook. Well Reg the important thing is you tried. Please don't kill Mitty. At least make it quick and painless if you can. NOOO ALL THE PLUSHIES. I know I start crying a lot when I watch stuff but I'm straight up gross sobbing here. Everyone needs a hug. I knew exactly what was coming and I still wasn't prepared. Oh good Riko's awake. Everyone loves Nanachi. Reg sweetie the bunny is a lesbian. Goddammit show I just stopped crying! Please stop hurting me, show. That hot spring looks cool as shit. Nanachi playing expert wingman here. Poor Reg. And then KNIFE. Owwww that looks painful. I love my kids. I hope their friends are doing okay. Hi Ozen! Good fucking luck kids you're gonna need it. Well that was an emotional marathon. FUCK this guy. One Piece- I don't have the mental strength to watch anything else for the night.

FELLAS I GOTTA SAY THIS IS SOME OF THE MOST FUCKED UP SHIT

Twice is best boy and these people don't deserve him.

Why is this titled like some clickbait horseshit CBR article?

Attack on Titan: Final Season: For Real This Time: Electric Boogaloo

Shemue- So how long has he been on this quest in-universe? Sidequest to translate this random symbol. Granny's got your back here. Man I hope my obscure cup placement message gets picked up. FIGHT-well that was quick. At least they bandaged him up after they beat the shit out of him. You have not unlocked this backstory yet. She's telling you to take your shirt off. Hey look, you made a friend. Your new friend is Sweeney Todd. Ryo you're gonna accidentally call somebody's mom a whore with those cups and get your ass shot. Oh hey, you made another friend. Aw crap we activated a fight scene. Sorry dude somebody killed your boys. Thanks, random shadow figure. Hey there, you know where I could find some sailors? PIPE, AGAIN. i'm gonna laugh so fucking hard he if gets nailed with the pipe a third time. You need nerves of steel, like the pipe that's given you two concussions this week. I don't trust this guy. Goddammit Ryo. And then they both died. Seriously, don't trust that guy. Meanwhile, this lady's still kind of a bitch. Thanks for nothing, lady. Titan- God I love Hange. Local man too angry to die. Hange needs a hug. Levi needs a hug. I just want to watch Levi finally get to murder Zeke. This is a real rough night for everybody. Falco is a good boy. Aw hell he's figuring things out. Oh my god that is the worst excuse. Oh good, I was wondering if everybody just forgot Armin was a titan too. Meanwhile, lesbians. Sorry Mikasa your girlfriend is dying. Bitch gimmie my scarf. Stone fucking cold. Fuuuuuuck yoooooooou. Oh yeah I'm sure Jean's really changed sides. Time to murder some pie. Oh hi Annie. Oh no Annie dumped her girlfriend. Oh yeah this is gonna go just great for you, ya douchebag. This guy's a good dude. PACKMULE! Ahahahaha you fucking tool. Y'all could have just left Yelena there. Good news Reiner it's time for a suicide mission. Ass Class- Y'know I've literally never once questioned why there was an omnipotent squid monster here and why he decided to go into teaching. You could just try shooting her. Oh that sounds like it's gonna hurt. Quick, tell her she's got no tits, she'll attack you instead. Oh shit get it boy. Congratulations you won a girlfriend. Please don't kill my squid. YOU SON OF A BITCH. I got a bad feeling about this. Wait what? I don't think I'm prepared for this. Well this is depressing as hell. Oh no he was pretty. Spoiler alert things are not going to go well for her. Magic science, got it. Oh that sounds bad. Talk shit get hit. Awww he likes her. Fucking Dandy Reaper. Ohhh you douchebag you set her up. You okay there buddy? Well this hurt me. Abyss- Oh no not Precious Moments Boy. Okay so something in that orphanage is definitely killing those kids. Mitty no don't eat her! Oh sweet, she makes antidotes. Be nice she worked hard on that stew. Oh we've gotta wake Riko up so she can cook. Oh hey, it's a magic blanket. So try and avoid the magic blanket, got it. That sounds horrifying. Uh hey Riko you okay in there? Cool, she's got walkie talkies. Today's your lucky day, random whistle guy. Just follow the bunny's instructions. Now shoot the fuck out of that thing. That old man is shitting his pants right now. Good job kiddo I'm proud of you. WAIT WHAT NANACHI NO. Oh look, I'm already crying. One Piece- Hordy fucking sucks. Decken fucking sucks. Luffy you're just making this worse for yourself. And then Sanji died. Hachi is a good boy. Oh yeah this is gonna go great for y'all. NOT THIS CREEP AGAIN. I would 100% choose death without a second thought. Oh my god she's so precious. Fuck off, citizens! THANK YOU. I love Chopper and Sanji together here. Get back in the shark. Son of a bitch he's still going at it. Oh hey that guy. BEAT HIS ASS, ZORO. He's on drugs. You kinda suck, Neptune. God I love Brook. Quick Usopp your'e gonna have to give Zoro mouth to mouth. Don't fuck with Zoro. Remember kids, don't do drugs. I'm slightly surprised that Zoro managed to swim in the right direction. Whelp there goes the bubble stick. And then he died. I goddamn love that whale. Meanwhile Zoro's slowly drowning. Fucking Brook. Meanwhile, more shenanigans. Oh hey Franky. Uncle fish! If I had a nickel every time this show reuses that scene of Ace getting fisted through the chest, I'd have enough money to afford the theraphy I clearly need. Oh good Sanji's less obnoxious. Close enough. Well that's depressing. Hey by the way there's an evil fish mutiny going on. Oh no you just activated Nami's PTSD again.

Shenmue- Have fun doing the housework, Ryo. It's definitely gonna rain and ruin those books. Just do the chores, chore do-er! And then he obliterated some old lady. That's a box full of drugs isn't it. Or tea, that's fine too I guess. Sweet, free tea. Discount Nami is my favorite. Just beat that kid's ass already. Don't worry Ryo's too oblivious to notice anyone's thirst. Every single woman in this town is a thirsty karate master. THAT'S MY PURSE, I DON'T KNOW YOU. Kick my ass next please. Is it time for a tragic backstory? Aw hell what now. Gentrification is the real villain of Shenmue. Goddammit Ryo you forgot the books! Girl he forgot to do your stupid books one time, get over it. Well mostly he was doing it just to get daddy's love. Let granny beat their heads in. Please tell me grandma's in his harem now. Granny being the kung fu master is less than surprising. Oh good this girl is less of a bitch now. You found a clue! Titan- This could be going better. I have no memory of these people at all. Oh hey Annie. This is someone's fetish. You feel lucky, punk? Having to hear this girl complain and nothing else for years straight sounds like fucking torture. These two are lesbians. Man her life sucked. Her dad is awful. Shippin' it. Annie needs a hug. Meanwhile, everything sucks for everyone. Honestly maybe y'all should just let the others die. God I'd listen to Seitz read a phone book. Also meanwhile, have some more depression from Armin and Mikasa. Connie's also gonna need a hug. You're gonna have to kill Eren, kids. I miss Erwin. Never forget, this is all Gabi's fault. Floch is the WORST. I will eat my shoes if Levi and Hange are actually dead. Connie no! Falco doesn't deserve this. Hange! LEVI. Ass Class- I love these kids. It's gonna destroy me when they eventually find a way to kill that squid. Sweet he found the porn stash. Try the pudding thing again, he'll never expect it. Uhhh what the FUCK is that. Well this came totally out of left field. What? Am I supposed to know who that is? Well this is awkward. Out of everything in this show, this is the hardest thing to believe. Wait how old is she supposed to be? I forgot that Koro's actually done some fucked up shit back in the day. Oh that sounds horrifying. Okay I appreciate her breaking that douchebag's desk. Nagisa is a good boy. You can go ahead and beat this guy's ass. "The dangers of untamed tentacles" 100% sounds like a hentai title. Oh this backstory's gonna fuck me up. At least she's having a good time. Sorry kids I don't think your heartfelt talk is gonna work on her. This could be going better. Aw hell she broke. Abyss- I've only known Nanachi for two minutes but I'd die for her. Uhhh y'all Riko's really not looking so good here. So is there a way to fix her because between the arm and the curse I'm not thrilled with her odds her. Right up the butt. Owwwww. It may come as a shock that neither of this children is a medical professional. I love my kids. Uh what was that. What the FUCK is that. Well this is some fucked up shit. Why am I already crying? Fetch quest time, Reg. Ohhh I don't like this guy. Keep an eye out for Ryo on his own sidequest. Reg is such a good boy. Shroombear nooo! And then naked time. I hope they don't have to kill that bear. False alarm this is good. I love this bunny. She's right, dinner is the most important part. Hands off the bunny, kiddo. Oh hey, the pickaxe is here. This is a weird place. Whelp, Reg's hallucinating. Uhhh whatcha up to, Mitty? One Piece- You're a fucking creep, dude. Oh hey, Robin. Good luck guards you're about to get your bones snapped in half. God I love Robin. Zoro's having a great day. I love that goddamn giant shark. Nami and Usoopp are suffering. You're just talking nonsense now, Neptune. Shit, we forgot about the switch! Oh thank god, Sunny's alright. Tom's brother looks nothing like him. Fish genetics are weird. RACISM IS BAD, GUYS. Uncle fish! Man it sure is lucky that Luffy kidnapped the princess. Zoro's not drunk enough for this. Vander Deken fills me with a sense of visceral disgust. Goddammit Luffy. That poor shark needs a vacation. Nami's cool with getting all your money. Aw hell you triggered Nami's PTSD. Remember, all rich people are murderers. Arlong, doing exactly one decent thing in his life. God I love Brook so much. And then they all drowned. Neptune may be dumb as rocks but he's a good dude. Zoro's hot and I like watching him fight. Where's Nami? Usopp with the assist. Brook's dying. Zoro you can't use your swords as good under water. Robin and Franky, still married. Meanwhile, Choopper's doctoring. Goddammit Sanji. Oh my god don't show Sanji that princess. Oh no she's gonna pop out of the shark and they're all gonna misunderstand. Goddammit Megalo! Whelp, Sanji's dead.

I knew what was coming and I still wasn't ready. Shenmue- Every year the "i can't fight a girl!" issue gets more tired and annoying. Sounds like it's time for some SIDEQUESTS, bitches! Hey again, discount Nami. Sometimes you just gotta wake up and start drinking. Congratulations you're a sideshow attraction now. It's either the weird rock smashing thing or whoring yourself out. If the guys won't hit on sure I'm sure willing to pick up the slack. Oh look, a gang of random thugs to get beat up. Never fight a man who wakes up day drinking he's already got nothing to lose. Oh don't worry she'll do your room alright. Punch those rare books in half, Ryo. "Earn rent money" sidequest activated. I like that they just threw Nami's voice at discount Nami here. RYO SHE'S TRYING TO NAIL YOU. Sure, now's a good time for a serious talk. Siiiiiiiiiiiiidequest. Goddammit Ryo you oblivious son of a bitch. Titan- Previously, Eren activated the apocalypse. Oh hey is that Annie's dad? Reminder that this is all Gabi's fault. The fuck you mean what's wrong, there's a gaping hole in his side. It's not my fault if Reiner dies he's been wanting this the whole season. Falco deserves better. Eren did save everyone's balls but he's out of line with the genocide thing. Oh right, Connie's mom got titan'd way back years ago. Shut up Armin let him save his mommy. Gee thanks Eren this is just great. If Sasha's sister gets eaten I'm flipping a table. I never thought I'd be happy to see Gabi. Chef dude is the best. I love Sasha's parents and their hillbilly accents. Yeah yeah humans are all terrible but Gabi's still the worst here. Trainer Seitz! Eat shit, Yelena. I'm happy to see a return of the derpy running titans. Oh shit it's the old dude. Alright which of you's gonna be the one to go Old Yeller on the commander. Meanwhile, the world's still ending. THIS FUCKING GUY. I enjoy seeing this specific child suffer. Oh right, Reiner's still dying. I'm still waiting for Hange to show back up with Levi 99% dead and 1000% pissed off. Wait was that Annie? Ass Class- I love this squid so much. Eat shit, douchebag. The hell kind of flashback is this? You're wasting your time show you're not gonna get me to like him. Wow this got DARK. This backstory sure went off the rails. This asshole can still eat shit. Awww these kids. Boooo, he's not dead. I still hate him, show. Huh, he's surprisingy weak. You tried kids. And now for something completely different. I love these kids. He's a peach. Oh hey we're doing Momotaro here. Divorce papers. This is goddamn fantastic. You people just don't understand quality theater. Meanwhile, this guy is STILL a massive sack of asshole. YAY FOR UNEMPLOYMENT! Abyss- I know what's coming and I've got my Emergency Booze. The enviornments in this show are so fucking cool. At least Riko's having fun. "Bleeding out of everywhere" sounds like a real bad time I hope we don't have to deal with that. I hope those squid things are friendly. Great, we're in a hole full of mysterious unknown monsters. I hope whatever's following them isn't violent. Ohhhhhhh I don't like that. CHEESE IT! Aw fuck it's fast we're so screwed. Good luck kids I believe in you. OHHHHHHHHHHH I DON'T LIKE THAT. Oh shit fuck we're breaking out the Emergency Booze early. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Aaaand it's time for BLOOD FROM EVERYWHERE. Oh fuck oh FUCK her hand. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I DON'T LIKE THAT. I don't think you got much of a choice here, kiddo. I can't drink fast enough to handle this. Here sweetie bite down on this stick. Jesus fucking christ. Knowing this was coming didn't make it any better. And now the giant bugs are here, great. Shit please tell me she's not dead. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Raise your hand if you're already crying! BUNNY FRIEND, THANK GOD. Reg honey I don't think anything's gonna hurt her more at this point. I've only just met this little creature but I would die for her. One Piece- Talk about a fucking tone change. I like that it didn't occur to them to take that guy's swords before they put him in the dungeon. God I love Nami. Shirahoshi is so goddamn adorable. I love these idiots so much. Don't feel bad my back hurts constantly too now. This entire family is weird as hell. I want Zoro to answer my door forever. You goddamn idiots. I miss Uncle Fish. I still love those tiny mermaids. Oh hey, Sanji's still alive. Shirahoshi honey use your words. Take her to that forest right now! Hey could y'all go check on my kid? Zoro gives absolutely zero fucks and I love it. Brook no mermaids don't wear panties. GODDAMMIT BROOK. This fucking wingnut just yeeted a bunch of dudes at her. Well this banquet sure turned into a real shitshow. I love that shark. Oh hey Franky. Wow the princess is gone who could have seen that. Don't fuck with Brook. Fucking Hordy, Oh hey Hachi! Remember kids, don't do drugs. Arlong sucked. Remember kids, racism is wrong. Joke's on you douchebag, Luffy's his friend. Hachi is a good boy. Oh no Hachi! Poor Hachi. You creepy fuck you stay away from that princess. Fuck you Hordy. Goddammit Sanji. Chopper's done with his shit. Oh hey, he's a doctor! Oh good they found Hachi. This day just keeps getting weirder for everyone. Great timing on kidnapping that princess. I sense a tragic backstory ahead. Uncle fish!

Remember kids, sometimes executive meddling is a good thing.

Who asked for this? Like, the two sequels we already got weren't horrible, but I honestly don't think I've seen a single person who's ride or die, hardcore into them the way people still are towards the original even after 20 years. It felt like they were milking that cow pretty dry already, and adding on another two whole extra sequel series just feels completely unnecessary. Housing Complex sounds like it has some promise, though. Here's hoping they can actually pull it off and roll out more original ideas.