EmpressAngel

Please, please don't suck this time 🙏

I know they're making an anime out of their Pretty Boy Villain Isekai game* and they have a handful of other titles they've announced to stream at some point, but I think Star Wars is the only one on the service now. *I don't know how much money it costs to get Catboy Scar to love me back but by god I am gonna find out.

Yashahime- Moroha has done nothing wrong ever in her life and you will not criticize her. Now here's Sesshomaru and his comatose teenage bride. Oh sure, it's totally fine that the child he helped raise was all of 18 when she gave birth to his kids. I also hate them for entirely different reasons. Look, offing her should be considered a mercy kill. So the punishment here is that she'll live a perfectly normal life but just be ugly? Oh honey, you think he gives a shit about those kids? Could he not just easily explain that they shouldn't kill this one bitch until they undo the curse? So then, it's Sesshomaru's fault Moroha doesn't have parents? Goddammit Kikyo. This explaination sounds like complete horse shit. Congratulations Towa, I guess you've been accidentally trying to kill your mom for an entire season now. Oh what the fuck now. Not this asshole again. Evil Crispin is still too good for this show. Moroha, still zero competition for best girl. I still don't know what the fucking deal is with these rainbow pearls. I refuse to respect anyone afraid of a tree. Okay so he's just a spare chunk of his body like a bad Naraku ripoff. Lady nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about. Shit's on fire. Who the hell is this? Lupin- Seal. Fuck you, ice! Nothing says fashion like arctic whales and seals. Kitty! That is an oddly specific pet peeve, sir. Hiiiii Fujiko. Brb gonna go steal some clothes. #1 simp. Okay how the hell did Goemon get roped into this. Dog! He's trying his best. Goemon possesses zero chill. Dude just take a break. Y'all fuckin yet? "Inner magma" is cracking me up. I'm just assuming Jigen took one look at this plan and spent the next week sleeping off a hangover. Hiiiiiiiii Fujiko. I'm losing it at that ridiculous hat. Camel Lupin is best Lupin. And then it was Cats for a second. This is bonkers, I love it. SHE WANTS TO BANG YOU. That's a lot of clothes, Fujiko's gonna be so happy. Goemon no don't cockblock him! I love Fujiko so much. Nooooo she earned those clothes. Come on Pops you won't arrest a guy in his underwear. It's okay Fujiko I'll console you. One Piece- I love you, hot shark lady. Shirahoshi's so goddamn cute. Sanji's gonna die again. Brook is a gift. Boys don't fight, Zoro's objectively hotter. He's right, maybe we'll get lucky and the thing won't explode. Cool, super compass. I'm already lost, buddy. Don't let Luffy know about the neelde that's going bonkers. Nami is suffering. Oh hey Franky. Those dingbat princes crack me up. Bye, Uncle Fish! It's okay Brook I still love you. Awwww the little mermaids. Protect Shirahoshi at all costs. I need her and Vivi to meet and be princess buddies. It's okay random kid, Uncle Fish will get you a straw hat. Nice, Franky brought some floaties. Shanks is hot and I miss him. HIIII ACE--AW FUCK. I hope you like seeing scenes of Ace dying because that's the only screentime he gets from now on. Let Brook see that whale asap. I'm here for Showr Nami. Chopper has no idea how lucky he is. Y'know what that's still worth it. Oh no what are these idiots doing. Poor giant blobfish. That is one giant terror fish. Sweet, free murder fish. Don't worry it's just the East Australian Current. Robin's having fun. LUFFY NO. And then everyone died. Brook, still an absolute delight. Oh hey, they're alive. WHAAAALE. I wish I could speak whale. I miss Laboon. Brook needs a hug. It's not the first time I've cried over a cartoon whale and by god it won't be the last. Aaaand this song's in my head for the next three weeks. I love it when Ian gets to sing. Awww the whales like his song. Aw crap it's the navy.

I hope everybody likes seeing Ace's death because that's Toei's favorite footage to reuse, and I'm yelling AW FUCK NOT AGAIN every single time.

Well that sure is a dark horse.

Yashahime- How's Towa gonna fuck it up this time. Neat, fish people. Aw fuck not this guy again. I hope they just ditched Towa because they know she'll fuck it up. They're looking for a what now? Oh right, that thing. Totosai, out. Moroha, still zero competition for best girl. Aw hell, somebody''s about to get taken as a sea demon's bride aren't they. Fuck you, Ursula. Towa she's not even here maybe focus on the people who might actually need help. Terrible news, Takechiyo's still alive. This freaky nun is definitely the water bitch. Joke's on you nobody here's a human. I hate that guy. Oh hey it''s a Medusa. I'm not gonna ask why Takechiyo's suffering I'm just gonna enjoy it. No, we want to kill you because you're a loony bitch who murders people. Suddenly Little Mermaid. I mean, that was kind of on you for showing up as a freaky giant snake. Okay I get the turning people to stone thing but why are you targeting long haired women now? That is an unsatisfying answer. Okay the entire group showing up with fucking blindfolds on is cracking me up. Towa, still the worst. I swear to god if she sees her reflection in those shitty sunglasses and dies I'm throwing a chair. Oh sure let this douchebag save the day why not. Hey lady remember your boyfriend that you killed? That sure was a thing that happened. Lupin- Why do I hear Real Folk Blues playing in the distance? Jigen always looks so wrong without his hat. Oh shit is that rich asshole marrying Jigen's girlfriend? GASP she's commoner. I'd date her. Who's this douchebag? Well I know which evil schmuck is getting killed in the next twenty minutes. Jigen's such a good dude. GET IT, FLASHBACK JIGEN. And then they fucked. This lady is so nice I kinda love her. Hello there criminals it is murder time. Damn Jigen that one was brutal. Not to go full Fujiko but shit I'd marry this guy just to get that necklace. I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. So go get a job you whiny rich bastard. SURPRISE JIGEN. Aww, she still loves him. Give that thing to Fujiko immediately. NOOOO THE FANCY NECKLACE. Could this franchise just let Jigen get the girl for once? One Piece- Sweet, free treasure. Y'all can go ahead and just kill Caribou while you're here. Oh no why are you asking Zoro for directions. Oh my god Pekoms looks like a giant stuffed animal I love him. LUFFY NO YOU''RE NOT HELPING. And then Luffy caused an international pirate war. Aggressively French. Now that's a deal I can appreciate. Sanji no. Dude we just stopped this island from being destroyed don't make us do it again. Oh, she's terrifying. This mutant girl with her is cute though. You destroyed the Baked Goods Kingdom? YOU MONSTER. I always like how the snail phones are personalized. Luffy o don't answer that. It's probably not the best idea to piss this lady off, let's see how that goes. She has a point, you can't eat gold. Hi Kid. This bitch wants candy and by god she's getting candy. Ohhh Nami's gonna be so pissed they got in a fight with an emperor. Shirahoshi's so damn cute. Why do we still let Caribou exist. Uncle Fish is the best. Don't worry she's got a new target for her anger. Okay so we accidentally gave Big Mom a giant bomb, that'll go well. And then Nami murdered them. Please kill Caribou while you're here. I can only understand about half of what this French guy says. GUN. He's not just a lion, he's a turtle lion. THANK YOU, FINALLY. You know I've never thought about how they're supposed to get back up to the surface. Meanwhile, some other people. Oh hey, that one girl. She's blind as fuck. Hiiii Smoker.

As the resident pervert, I've seen multiple people concerned about them suddenly throwing all the adult stuff in this hidden shack out in the woods. The porn store's not even open yet and their FAQ says it won't be for weeks; that's just poor planning at best or sabotage at worst. This shouldn't have been announced until the sister site was launched and its store ready to take orders. There are people with orders in limbo who now have to wait god knows how long for the individual items to be split between two companies (that's not going to be a quick or simple process, I'm sure), who can't even cancel and get their money back because this new place didn't get the chance to port over those transactions into their system before this was announced, and no word on how long that will take. Throw in the fact that adult sites have had issues with getting payment processors to work with them, and this site could easily die off before all the dust has settled. I've seen people worry that it's an excuse to ditch all the adult content, wait for it fail, and then just shrug because it's not their fault the customers didn't show up. Sidenote, really not sure how much Crunchyroll is actually gonna help with any staffing issues. "Come work in a bluray warehouse in the middle of Bumblefuck, Iowa!" is gonna be a tough sell no matter whose name is on the paycheck.

Yashahime- Oh boy I can't wait to see how Towa fucks it up this season. Oh right, Setsuna's dead I guess. Evil Crispin deserves a better show. Sesshomaru appearing for ten seconds and then fucking off before they can catch him for child support. Moroha deserves a better show. You're never gonna convince me they didn't just steal that butterfly from an ambien commercial. Reminder that Rin would have been like, fifteen when Sesshomaru knocked her up. Sometimes Totosai's cow shows up and gives me a brief flicker of nostalgic happiness. Is it just me or does Jaken sounds less grating than he used to? I love my feral urchin daughter. Oh hey, Towa's doing something without fucking it up. Just make Moroha is the only one I care about just make her the main character already. Show you're just wasting your screen time I have literally zero attachment to the twins. In a surprise twist, Towa continues to be a failure and the worst. Oh hey, she actually managed to do a thing. Genuinely surprised Sesshomaru is doing literally anyth8ing to help his kids. Wow what a surprise, Setsuna's alive again. I don't remember half demons just being able to use up all their demon powers and getting turned temporarily human but it looks like it's not going to be any kind of a problem. Moroha continues to have zero competition for best girl. Lupin- Oh good, the nice flower girl's okay. I love watching these three bicker. Now can you explain why all of them look exactly alike? So how does this lady know Lupin's mom? Wait how old is Lupin supposed to be anyway? He would later rebel against that lesson on not trusting people by basically developing a lifelong threeway with two other dudes. That's a nice story, now how does it go horribly wrong? I like this cop lady she's pretty. TANK. Honestly kinda rooting for these bitches they brought a tank. Thanks, Fujiko! Aww dang it, a buncha them are dudes. It's a trap! It's funny you think the dark is gonna stop Goemon. Haaaa, that Lupin was Jigen. It's a trap, again! Hiiiiiiiiiii Fujiko. I know you're not gonna shoot her but you can at least pistolwhip her a bit. We stan a king. Fujiko's having a great time. Oh shit. One Piece- Happy ending for everyone! Or they understand that this one dude in particular was an asshole and don't take it out on the rest of the country. Sweet, free jobs! Get that boy some meat immediately. Heroes have to share their booze. Surely it won't take like 400 episodes for Jinbe to join the crew. Come back, we still owe you a party! Oh right, Hachi and Camie are still back there. Hordy, still the fucking worst. I love that kraken. This may just be sufficient amounts of meat and booze for Luffy and Zoro. I love the adorable tiny mermaids. Call 'em hereos all you want they're still not sharing anything. This sure is a lot of stuff that isn't food and booze. Let Brook sing. And then Sanji died, again. Just let Zoro get hammered goddammit. Sanji needs to be sedated. Less talking more drinking. MEAT. Get it, Brook! Goddammit Sanji. Neptune never gets to make his speech. Reminder that Nami can keep pace with Zoro's drinking. King is drunk as fuck. Joy Boy, you say? Surely this Joy Boy fella won't be important to the story at all. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Oh hey, that thing. Oh not this gross bastard again. WHy do we keep letting Caribou exist. You know damn well Luffy's not aware of shit. Oh no not Akainu, i HATE that guy. FUCK Blackbeard and the horse he rode in on. How did he steal that devil fruit anyway? Hiiii Shanks. Surely the rest of these guys won't be relevant at all. Unce Fish is gonna have an aneurysm dealing with Luffy one day. Something ominous is about to happen. OH HELL NO YOU GO AWAY. I need an adult. BEAT HIS ASS. The best part of this is Luffy not giving a single shit. Yeah that was definitely the robber and not Zoro. Nami/treasure otp. This is just how it feels being over 30 and sleeping in a bad position. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Y'all can just go ahead and beat the shit out of these old men. Oh hey, Big Mom time. Oh no this isn't gonna go well.

Still not the weirdest comment he's made.

Anime fans once again failing the Quit Being Fucking Weird challenge.

I swear I'm trying my hardest to get Garbage Dilf killed

Had a family tragedy for the past month and a half but we're crawling back outta the gutter, babey Lupin- Hello there, gang of murder women. Jigen is the best housewife. Hiiii Fujiko. Steal it all! Hey maybe you'll find the devil's skeleton again. Somebody stole my grandpa's stolen loot! Oooh is it your grandma? Oh good, Pops' boyfriend got to come with him from London. One of these days the obvious disguise voiced by Tony Oliver won't be Lupin. This girl is cute. Lupin/Jigen is the real otp. What's your angle here, Lupin? I'm glad Pops has finally learned to check everyone's faces for masks. Hiiiiiii Fujiko. Okay so who's this mysterious lady. Oh hey Goemon. THE FLOWERS WERE BUGGED, YOU GENIUS BASTARD. Mustache Lupin is unreasonably funny to me. Oh shit they faked the robbery to go in and do the real robbery, that's brilliant. That WAS a brilliant plan until this bitch got in the way. Knife shoes! Since when does this show have so many women who aren't just Fujiko in a wig? Dangit flower girl just move! What does that mean? OH SHIT. One Piece- Hordy still fucking sucks. Now boys don't fight, just measure your dicks already. I love Robot Franky. Oh hey, we won while I was gone. Oh right, the damn boat's still falling. FUCK THIS BOAT. Uh hey everybody y'all might wanna run. Oh hey, Whitebeard! This definitely won't be relevant at any point in the future. Okay y'all can stop screaming STRAWHAT any time now. It's fine, just ask Franky to build you a new boat. I'm sure this Joy Boy fella won't be important at all. Say what? Oh hey, monsters! It's cool, they're your friends. Aww good, a happy ending. Aw hell Luffy's dying again. Oh hey,, that boat is the perfect size for them. Maybe don't let the government know about that power. Yeah, capture the villains now that all the hard work of beating them is done. SURELY THIS WON'T BE IMPORTANT LATER. Sure just drop that thing in front of Tom's brother and let him patch it up. Oh goddammit I forgot fucking Caribou is still here. So hey guys, sorry we accused you of kidnapping and plotting an assassination and all that. I love Uncle Fish. I love Franky's hair. Chopper is so goddamn adorable. You can just go ahead and kill Decken, please I'm begging you. Just give him some meat he'll be fine. Honey you're gonna drown him in your tears. Robin is the best. Hey maybe ask all those humans you've got captured. It's red, close enough! Just stab somebody and take their blood by force. Uncle Fish to the rescue! And now the narrator will read a heartfelt essay he composed over the commercial break. Remember to give blood, kids. Now get that boy his weight in meat immediately.

I mean, if they can get that $30 million per episode budget Stranger Things had, the effects might just look decent.

Oh no, I want that 1:1 translation. It's not fair if the anime-only audience doesn't have to spend three entire months sitting through a weird, baffling clown fight.

I nominate Top Gun or PokeNirvash

They signed off on Food Wars.

The other day I was watching something on CR and the audio just went completely silent for 30 damn seconds, and there's comments about it since the day it was uploaded so it's definitely something wrong with the actual video and not on the customer end. Funi's player had its share of issues but I straight up never saw a problem like that before, so I'm guessing FuniRoll's just not doing any quality checks anymore as a way to cut costs.

We're on a mission from Tom. Lupin- Hiiii Glasses Fujiko. Who's this douchebag? I don't trust this guy. I don't know enough about archaeology to know if any of this is bullshit so I'm just gonna assume it's legit. "Thanks for curing my tuberculosis, doc, have this weird bird rock I found." That sure took a long time for him to get to the point. How many men will she have to seduce to get that fossil? Jigen's too old for this shit. It's okay Fuji I'd help you for free. I always love the super realistic latex mask ploy. Well that sure is weird. Shoutout to that guard looking at porn instead of watching the cameras because I'd be doing the exact same thing. Uhhh this ain't normal. How does she fit all that hair in that cap? Just fuck already. This definitely feels like some kinda elaborate trap. Uhhhhhh hey Lupin you okay there buddy? What the fuck is going on. Hey, who spilled Angel's Egg in my Lupin episode? One Piece- Fuck you, Hordy. I can't believe we can't just let Decken bleed out here. Sea Hagrid cracks me up. Eat some balls, douchebags! You suck, evil Zoidberg. Nami being menaced by yet another invisible asshole. Goddammit Brook. Cut that out you're ripping his jacket. I am always down for more Mecha Franky. They are all idiots, aren't they. Meanwhile, Chopper being the only one doing any work here. Man Usopp got cool. Aw hell where'd Chopper go. Stop taking drugs! I just want shark waifu to make it out of here. Okay that was definitely a pregnant lady there, how the fuck does that work? And then everyone else got stabbed. Uh hey Luffy you know what water does to you right? I agree with Hordy, Decken should just fucking die already. Look I know we need to keep him alive so the giant boat doesn't crush-murder the entire island but I really wish he'd just die. God I hope he's dead and not just knocked out. Oh right, the ship. Well this could be going better. Oh, so it's a special phantom mystery ship. I don't think I'm lucky enough for Decken to be dead. No, he is not alright. Man that is one strong bubble. Sweet, free shark teeth. Dude it's not a flex to be smarter than Luffy. This is a real rough day for Shirahoshi. I don't like Fukaboshi's odds here. She died because you shot her, you sack of shit! And then he died. Spoiler alert he's doing this because he's just as MASSIVE bag of dicks. Owwww that's gotta hurt. I have no memory of these guys. Okay I would rather just be crushed to death than lose the air conditioner. Dude no that's SO MANY drugs. Hordy is the fucking worst.

My mistake. I thought that "I Enjoy it but It doesn't seem like we're gonna get much of that moving forward...." implied that you believed the block would be getting fewer shows and thus there'd be fewer voice actors hearing themselves live. I didn't realize it was referring to voice actors having a strict pre-midnight bed time that hasn't really been an issue in the past. My apologies for misunderstanding the one time you weren't panicking about the health of this cartoon block you seem to be obsessed with. Pictured: me logging in and opening threads I know are gonna make me be a bitch

Silly me, thinking we could see one thread where you're not doom posting.

At this point I kinda just shrug and show up ready to be surprised. Lupin- Oh great, ominously glowing Jesus statue can only bode well. Is Lupin dressed up as that old lady in the wheelchair. YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF GEM GEMS. Everything is shiny and I want it. Hiii Fujiko. This old man is totes not Lupin. Hi pops! Wait, granny's doll! Aww, he brought back her doll. This is totally not a devious plot, not at all. Hiiiiiiiiii Fujiko! I understand completely I'd also fork over a priceless diamond to nail Fujiko. That's a super cute dress. Granny's copping a feel there. I'm not gonna question why Goemon was riding a giant squid I'm just gonna accept the little things that make me happy. Hiiiii Fujiko's tits! Okay what is granny's deal. I don't trust granny. Goddamn I'm gay. Oh this flashback is gonna get depressing. Oh he was a sexy pirate I get it. Lupin is now a better pirate anime than Fena. The treasure is rare nuts. I take back what I said, I'm rooting for granny now. Goddammit pops not now! NO MY DIAMOND. I would be so pissed. One Piece- Clearly tonight's theme is pirates. Decken, still the fucking worst. Shirahoshi is a good kid. YEET. Awww, they're all trying to help her. Hordy sucks. Bubble Luffy, go! Whelp so much for Bubble Luffy. That's it, show's over. Oh hey, her brother. Can someone please punch Decken's entire spine out now? I dunno man maybe she doesn't like you because you're creepy and gross? Oh good, her other brothers are here too. WHAAAALE. Fuck those random fish in particular. Don't show me sad flashbacks now. Remember kids, drugs are bad. Look we could just let Hordy murder Decken and solve one of our problems for us. Thanks, Hordy! I hope this episode is just 20 straight minutes of watching Decken painfully bleed out. Oh fuck you Hordy we can't have anything nice. I like watching Decken suffer. Well boys you failed to help your sister but the important thing is you tried, I guess. Nooo not the whale! Oh hey Luffy. Meanwhile, shenanigans. No don't give sea Hagrid drugs! You suck, evil Zoidberg! Nooo not the kraken! It's fine, Uncle Fish is here. Whelp you hit Nami now you have to die. Now Zoro gets to do things! Zoro isn't drunk enough for this. Aw hell the drunk octopus went into druggy berserk mode. He is gonna beat your ass and then steal whatever's left of your booze. "That is way too many swords" is Zoro's cue to come play. Finally, a worthy opponent! Meanwhile, the damn boat's still in mortal peril. Fuck off, Hordy.

This was a better pirate anime than Fena.

Yeah, if there's a family history that's more significant than "Pop pop worked in the ol' town asbestos factory for 40 years and then randomly got cancer" then it's worth it to push for earlier testing. I have a half-sister who got stage 3 breast cancer when she was only 31, and that's another one that they basically call you a hypochondriac for worrying about before your 40's. I started getting ultrasound exams at 22 and mammograms at 30 to hopefully nip it in the bud if they do catch anything one day.

Ass Class- I'm not emotionally strong enough for this. Karasuma is a good dude. They're all good kids, even the one who looks 40. Can someone nail that principal in the dick with a 2x4 please. He has a dad? Don't do it bro that bitch is crazy. Awww even these assholes got to do something nice. Aaaaand I'm crying. I'm glad the principal suffered. Alright kids new lesson, let's get drunk. Oh god what did they buy together it's gonna break my heaert. Fuck you, moon! I don't know enough about moons to know if that's legit. Dude don't send your wife. Good lord woman. Tiiiiiiiimeskip. Awwww he called them their kids. .I still don't recognize 2/3 of these kids. Awwwwww they bought the mountain for him. Are Karma and Nagisa just fucking somewhere offscreen during all this? I'm proud of these kids. The old-looking guy looks exactly the same. I still hate that vocaloid. Karma is now president. Oh shit is she knocked up. At least he got to cut his hair. And then Nagisa killed a student. Lupin- RIP gun. Hat with the save. Aww that one boy likes her. Well this is adorable. Aw hell, what now. I am disappointed this is not really a butch woman with huge tits. That is the worst alias. Lupin being a top-tier wingman to this random kid. Ohhh this is going to go badly. Aw hell the theacher's in on it too. Meanwhile, Jigen being the best babysitter. Congratulations, Jigen is your father now. "You can trust me" says the guy who just shot two dudes in front of you. His license is written on his gun. CHEESE IT. Jigen's so fucking cool. You don't understand he loves that gun like a wife. PLOT TWIST. I love this kid. Jigen/Gun is my OTP. Oh hey the teacher's not evil after all. Oh thank god, the gun's gonna be okay. Goddammit Jigen you were too cool now he's gonna grow up to be an assassin. One Piece- That HONK sound is never not hilarious to me. Time for Zoro to fight another swordsman and take his booze. Chopper is having so much fun in that little tank. We just got that tank, Franky's gonna kill you if you break it! They're all so goddamn stupid I love them. Oh my god what does it do next. THIS IS AWESOME. Nami, somehow, is unimpressed. WE STAN A LEGEND. Oh my god Franky. Meanwhile, Nami defeating people with the power of meteorology. Oh my god look at Usopp he's all grown up and fighting on his own. Oh shit look at Chopper go. LEAVE THAT KRAKEN ALONE HE'S A GOOD BOY. Well now Luffy's gonna beat your ass twice as hard for upsetting his new kraken friend. I miss your hot dead brother, Luffy. Eat shit, fish boys. Oh right, that lunatic sent a fucking ark after her. Just in case you forgot Decken is the fucking woooorst. .Gee this "intended day" thing doesn't sound ominous or important at all. Don't do drugs, kids. Let Surume join the crew. GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT. Uh hey y'all there's a giant fuckin' boat floating over to jkill everyone. I love Robin. Oh hey it's the big guy. THE WOOOOOOOOORST. "Incel fish dude" isn't a character I would have expected pre-timeskip but yet here we are. Oh hey, she grew a spine. Shirahoshi is a good kid. AGAIN, THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST. I'm okay with Hordy killing Decken, I don't mind if they take a break to do that.