mthor

Do you jump up and down when you ask questions in real life?

You may need this.

Thanks. Now all I can think of is

$&%@ Better?

Kiwi Farms has closed registration - apparently that's where a bunch of them went.

I sometimes use a similar technique - eggs that have boiled dry smell really bad.

Egg in pan, bring to boil, simmer 12 minutes. This is probably too long, but I hate partially cooked yolks in a hard boiled egg.

There are some really yummy vitamin c gummies out there.

Are your gums bleeding?

Carbon monoxide poisoning. Just kind of dozed off watching TV...

Awwww

Benzos

RIP. (What was he reading?)

So I've got the phone propped up on the counter with a YouTube video on how to clean the filter in the dish washer, and DeeDee smiles at me and says, "Don't die like a Sim, grandma."

Some people are fun to stick needles in, though.

Christ on a crutch, will you people make your own Why Rolling Papers Suck thread? You've got this spread over how many threads? Damn kids - back in my day, damn rolling papers didn't come with adhesive, which is probably why I just used a pipe.

Well, i should have probably qualified it by saying that I haven't actually been on a date since sometime in the last millennium. (Uber? Lyft? Keys? I don't trust them horseless carriages.)

See, I always wanted to go Dutch, at least until I was comfortable with someone. I didn't want to be stuck someplace with a guy who felt like I owed him for dinner.

Bitch, even in death, you mess with me. For two days, you've been curled up under the bed 99% of the time, nice and neat and compact. Why did you decide at the moment of your terminal event that it was a good idea to get up and go for a walk, only to keel over in full walking position right where my feet would land if something hadn't made me look before I got out of bed? And how the hell am I going to store you in all your full stretched-out glory until I can get you to the crematorium? Well played, Pooquan, one last time. Rest in peace, Queen of Darkness.

🥩🎂🥩 (The steaks are blue, not well done.)

No, that's Zeni who rides the bus and chases chicks, although he does not seem to catch them.

🍻🎂🍻

Not necessarily a favorite, but definitely unexpected.

Why am I finding spoons everywhere except in the kitchen?