mthor

No, I'm old people, and I don't eat that shit. Edit: sometimes I eat wintergreen life savers, but that's more so that I can bite them to see if they make sparks as opposed to actually liking them.

Be careful of that - allergies can worsen with repeated exposure.

Arby's horsey sauce. 💕

There are three things that one should not do in a language in which one does not have native fluency: cast a spell, tell a joke, or get a tattoo.

2 days after my birthday, and I had to pull the cane out. Now I really feel old.

Thanks! This has bothered me all morning, and now I can stop thinking about it.

The little plastic box is for either a ring or a pair of earrings - it's missing the fuzzy cardboard part that the jewelry would stick in.

That's only if you eat it backwards.

If Willy Wonka's gum turned Violet Beauregard into a blueberry, is this going to turn us into an apple? Or a cup of coffee?

It's too late for kegels.

Too late. Not only have I reproduced, my reproductions have reproduced. You really have to be quicker with this kind of imperative.

It's possible to fracture a rib while coughing, so why not?

🍻🎂🥂🥂🍻🎂🧁🎂🍻🥂🥂🍻🎂🍻 Y'all can fight about who gets the cupcake.

This prompts a question which there is no delicate way to ask, but please don't be insulted; it's out of genuine curiosity. Do transwomen do menopause? That is, assuming that one has completely transitioned, do they start tapering the hormones around the age when a normal physiological menopause would occur?

Maybe you need more fiber.

Nope. Look it up. If I just tell you, you'll never learn anything.

I thought Blue Buffalo was dog food?

Dear AARP, I know how old I am. Could you please stop killing trees in order to remind me? Thanks.

😱

Through my career, I probably spent 15+ years working nights in various hospitals, and nothing. No spooks, no bumps in the night, no cold spots, no nothing. I've been bedside when patients died, and nothing, regardless of circumstances. When it comes to ghosts, I think one finds what one is looking for.

Also did the voice of Hudson in Gargoyles.

🍻🎂🍻

As long as it grows back if you change your mind😉(My older daughter has a permanent one from a collision with a desk in preschool.)

What, pray tell, is an eyebrow slit? In simple terms for my feeble boomer brain, please.

Don't pluck from the top unless they're really obvious strays. Always pluck along the bottom of the brow - you always want to kind of open up your eyes, not look grumpy. Find a tutorial about how to do whatever shapes are popular now (I'm still doing the same basic shape I was doing in the 80s, or I'd offer more suggestions, but the one thing I do know is NEVER pluck from the top down, always from the bottom up.)