mthor

As one of my daughters once told her grandmother, "There is no beauty without make-up."

MXC

I have the funny feeling that they screwed up my CT.

Aw, shit. This one really hurts.

Y'know, I've got to give you props for persistence.

Bathroom dreams are the ones that get me. You know, the ones where you've got to pee and, instead of waking up and going to the bathroom like a reasonable person, you start searching for a bathroom in the dream. The dreams themselves aren't the problem,although the bathrooms and the obstacles involved in finding them are usually bizarre. It's that sometimes, when I realize that I'm dreaming and wake myself up, I'll actually find myself in another dream, looking for a bathroom. I've had this happen where it takes up to five dream bathrooms before I actually wake up, and when I finally get to the real bathroom, I'm still not sure if I'm dreaming. It always makes me question my already feeble grip on reality.

The aliens are already here. If you go outside and listen to the silence very carefully, you may hear a quiet voice speaking a strange language. And if you could understand that language, what it would be saying is, " Please keep all extremities in the vehicles at all times. Remember, these are wild animals. Now, up ahead on your left, you'll see a beautiful specimen of...."

But you have to plug the vacuum in first.

A vacuum cleaner doesn't suck until you plug it in.

But what about the glue? Also, what's the difference between a banjo and a vacuum cleaner?

Ok, what?

Nice use of Google translate.

Sometimes. But chickens never have lips.

The Queen of Darkness (the 22 year old black cat who honors my house with her presence) approves.

That's my alarm clock.

Now that is acceptable.

I told you I was going to report every use of the word "Karen." You're just lucky that I'm too goddamn lazy to access the form.

Reported.

Um, guys? You are cluttering up my non-topical thread with a topic again. Don't make me get all matriarchy on you.

Mass murder was on the table a lot back then, but back then, all of you whippersnappers were teenage edgelords. The rest of you have grown up; she seems to be an exception.

They're best if they still moo a little when you poke them.

This is the one thing you've said that I completely agree with.

I like it soft enough to stir into peaks.

The proper way to cook steak is of greater general interest than your personal life.

@Vamped https://lilluna.com/grey-stuff-recipe/ It's nice when the internet can be used for good instead of evil.