Doom Metal Alchemist

The thing about that is, when people are on long drives to see relatives, they need somewhere to stop to go to the bathroom and get something to eat. And this is coming from someone who used to have to work Thanksgiving, because I had to work every Thursday no matter what. I don't have to work any Thursday anymore so I never have to work on Thanksgiving, but I do have to work during a LOT of holidays, including July 4, President's Day, Easter, MLK day, Veteran's Day..... If I remember right I had to work labor day too but I am not absolutely certain. I'm actually pretty sure the only holidays I get off are Memorial Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years Eve, and that is it (I get new year's eve instead of new year's day off because I work night shift and it makes more sense for night shift to have NYE off so we can party with everyone else. Day shift get's new year's day off instead).

Also can we talk about how his appearance is modeled after the bad guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with the malnourishment of Ghandi when he was on his hunger strike?

It's all the yoga. Keeps him looking and feeling young.

When I was little, my brother was always, "I get the cannon!" So I always went "I get the car!" It never stopped being my favorite piece.

Why would you keep playing if you've already won?

I don't know why not. IMO, in theory, putting cookies n cream pop tarts in the freezer shouldn't work, but.... I don't know, I eat all my pop tarts at room temperature. Which I guess is another thing that you might think shouldn't work, and yet....

I used to love that game throughout my whole childhood. The last time I played, I was probably in my 20s, I was completely bored out of my mind the whole time. Haven't played since.

Huh, what movie is that from? I was wondering where South Park got that character.

I recently got my first root canal. Come January I got to a get a crown. No where near as bad as your situation, but it's the best bonding I can do.

I honestly hate it when people disable autocorrect, because they still have no intention of ever fixing any typos.

*slow clap*

What is it called when you have an uninflated balloon wrapped around your dick and you cum?

You gotta teach your phone to recognize "no popping" as an intentional phrase. You got to keep un-autocorrecting it and typing it again and again and again and again.

Is it looning if you have sex with a non-inflated balloon?

Well if you type "no pooping" more often than "no popping" that's your own fault.

Does jacking off with a latex condom on count as looning?

What if instead of that they save all of the balloon stuff for you? 🤭

My work week is Sunday through Wednesday. Thursdays are great. 😄

Thursdays are great.

It's a Monty Python reference... is there anything beyond that?

I first learned it on Office 95, which I believe was the very last version that if you wanted to use any formula, you had to click into a cell, type the equals sign, and write the formula yourself.

Seriously though, is that that fake Twitter you like to post?

So much for "wholesome Christian family values."