Doom Metal Alchemist

According to an ex-coworker who is certified as a truck driver (but did not go that route professionally), truck drivers are among the best and most careful drivers out there because of the rigorous training and requirements to still be employed. Well, last week a semi started to merge into my lane when I was directly next to the middle of it. My knee-jerk reaction was to swerve into the next available lane, and thankfully no one was on that side of me. The semi never stopped his merging or even delayed it. It's like he was 100% unaware I was even there.

Tell that to like half the WWE / WWF in the 90s.

This year is the first time I've had a job where activity is made severely busier at Christmas time. These past two weeks I felt like I was at the end of my rope physically but it's over now.

What the hell shirt is he wearing?

My therapist once suggested I become a marriage counselor. At that point I had never even been on a date before (I was probably in my late 20s at the time).

Happy belated birthday!

Is that something Calvin did, or was he just the inspiration?

That used to work like a charm when I was a teen, but that hasn't cured my insomnia in ages.

Well, even though you have a tiny dick, you can take solace in the fact that you are flexible as fuck.

Should've used full cups so when he wakes up they all spill.

Why is her hair so limp?

The one by me just closed like earlier this month (or last month?). No big loss, we still got Rasputin, which is WAY better, even when FYE was still mostly about music.

Mistleto? Or is the E behind the stocking?

Go into a brick-and-mortar store for porn? What the hell century are you living in? (The 31st, lol)

I don't think there's such a thing as too fat for the army, they whip you into shape themselves.

The only thing I can think of that "soft chips" could mean is the British term for french fries.

Then he could just make up account info and when you tell him it doesn't exist he insists that it does over and over again.

You mean a bow and arrows? Note I have no idea how long ago the bow and arrow was invented, and I don't care to look it up.

No because I don't get paid for those days anyway. What happens with people who are normally scheduled to work those days I don't know.

And just think, if you were male you would be made to feel like a pussy for ever crying while reading a book. I started tearing up at work not too long ago thinking about an "ex." Luckily I work by myself so I didn't have to explain it to anybody.

Oh wait you probably mean the one referenced in the quote and not the grey Zapper. My bad. Yeah I don't have that.

I have one... >_>

Night shift doesn't have to work Christmas Eve (I'm night shift)... The whole facility is closed Christmas day. I'm off Mondays and Tuesdays every week anyways. *shrug*

From the article: Pretty sure duct tape and the popular zapper are far easier and cheaper to acquire...

The thread title sounds like a title of a facebook article.