Doom Metal Alchemist

Soda was invented by "drugists" (basically pharmacists) and marketed as a health drink. Wild knowing what he now know about soda, huh?

*microscope

Only one solution... Shave your head.

"You're so heartless, you did what my two brothers did!"

If it's (seemingly) a random jumble of letters I can't make a simple pronunciation of, I ain't gonna remember it. Also like Sorce said, the transposing of n and m.

You're not even close to the only one. Buddy started calling him benji and I followed suit because it's a good idea.

For many, many years I had flip-flops that were way too big and whenever I was sitting down with them on, I'd inevitably slip them off, regardless of where I was, including in restaurants. Those flip-flops have since broke and now I have much tighter fitting ones, so that probably isn't going to happen anymore.

You mean Helana? I think that was her sn...

Some other PA UEMBers seem to go nuts for Wawa.

Funnily enough, a couple or so days ago I randomly was wondering why people snort(ed) cocaine through their nose. Why the fuck would anyone even think to do that in first place? Like there's gotta have been a better way to ingest cocaine, even before the invention of crack.

Dude, that was Packard level.

When I was unemployed I'd gladly accept any charity anyone would throw my way. Now that I can actually pay for shit myself I generally don't accept it.

According to an ex-coworker who is certified as a truck driver (but did not go that route professionally), truck drivers are among the best and most careful drivers out there because of the rigorous training and requirements to still be employed. Well, last week a semi started to merge into my lane when I was directly next to the middle of it. My knee-jerk reaction was to swerve into the next available lane, and thankfully no one was on that side of me. The semi never stopped his merging or even delayed it. It's like he was 100% unaware I was even there.

Tell that to like half the WWE / WWF in the 90s.

This year is the first time I've had a job where activity is made severely busier at Christmas time. These past two weeks I felt like I was at the end of my rope physically but it's over now.

What the hell shirt is he wearing?

My therapist once suggested I become a marriage counselor. At that point I had never even been on a date before (I was probably in my late 20s at the time).

Happy belated birthday!

Is that something Calvin did, or was he just the inspiration?

That used to work like a charm when I was a teen, but that hasn't cured my insomnia in ages.

Well, even though you have a tiny dick, you can take solace in the fact that you are flexible as fuck.

Should've used full cups so when he wakes up they all spill.

Why is her hair so limp?

The one by me just closed like earlier this month (or last month?). No big loss, we still got Rasputin, which is WAY better, even when FYE was still mostly about music.

Mistleto? Or is the E behind the stocking?