Doom Metal Alchemist

Is he a doctor? Because he might be finding cancer and not even knowing it.

This is the proper attitude. ^ My hair does that shit when its short too. Fuck that.

@NaBron_James teach this guy to kill a mouse without even really trying.

No thanks.

Wait.... aren't you the guy who says he has a tiny dick? And you're picking something you can actually do yourself in the real world?

Need a barf react.

Since like late 2014 the only hair cuts I've had are basically trims. Usually it's a result of my mom complaining she's finding my hair everywhere, lol.

Exactly.

Oh that's ok then.

Is it still going to be long at least?

GODDAMNIT A RAPE O' THE LOCKS IS EVEN WORSE THAN A BREAST REDUCTION

Ugh. No to Phillies and double no to his cum encrusted pillow.

The thing is I made my "love of chest pillows" FAR more obvious in the distant past than I do now. I hope you're not reading that thinking, "How is that even possible?" because I thought I was more subtle about it now.

I think you mean SkinDRIVERS. Heyo!

........So Phillies has two dates and I have none. That's not a double date.

I mean, yeah, now that I'm finally employed I bag on Phillies, but for that he doesn't WANT a job. Job searching in this day and age is absolutely soul-crushing, but that didn't mean I didn't want to work, it just meant I wish I could act like an old cartoon where there's a building with a "Now hiring" sign in the window, I just walk in, remove the sign, and hey, I'm hired. Job SEARCHING is infinitely worse than actually working, imo.

That's what headlights and streetlights are for! Heyo!

I have not experienced this. Or if I have it was a long fucking time ago. But even then, shouldn't these people be like, "I'm not comfortable going fast at night, I should get in the slow lane."?

That would require me to find a date. Finding a date is for me what finding a job is for phillies.

I've never connected breast reductions and climate change, but my actual attitudes towards breast reductions are pretty similar, and I'm pretty sure I used to be far more outspoken about it ~a decade ago. It seems you know me better than even you realize.

As long as I don't have to hang out with waifu...

I was driving home at like 2:00 AM this morning, they were probably awake too long, if anything.

That makes everyone want to drive slow in every lane EXCEPT the slow lane? During the day the only reason I wouldn't be able to drive fast in the fast lane is because there is too much traffic. And even then, it's still faster then the other lanes. Late at night / early in the morning, the few people on the road are typically going slow, in the middle and left lanes, with absolutely nobody in the far right lane. And to top that off, late at night, the turtles in the fast lane never merge over to the next right lane when I catch up with them. MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU WANT ME TO PASS ON THE RIGHT? I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. BUT I GUESS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT "slow traffic keep right" SIGN EITHER, HUH?

It feels good to get out of the house and do something. Take this from someone who has been perpetually unemployed for most of his adult life.... And I think I am a few years older than you too.

The division of the seasons seems arbitrary to me. Here, it always seems like fall is only like a month long (late October/early Novmber to Early December). This year fall started in I want to say late September (which I guess is abnormally normal), and then winter happened when it usually did... but then it got even COLDER for practically the entire month of February. I don't think I've ever experienced that before. February was practically "super winter" here. (super winter in comparison to normal winter here, all you non-Californians would laugh at me calling this super winter). Finally this past week it's starting to warm up. I get out of work at 4:30 AM, and finally there's no longer any frost or fog on my car windshield when I get out of work. It's still raining though, which is weird.