Doom Metal Alchemist

He means you're sharp.

1. Ronnie James Dio 2. Eric Adams 3. I don't know, maybe Johan Lanquist?

Fuck craigslist. I don't know if I would say I had much luck with sites like Monster, CareerBuilder, Indeed, etc, but they're better than craigslist.

That's a part of it. But I had a big crush on her before I noticed how nice her boobs are. She's just a hottie.

I could've sworn after the shitstorm that happened over Apple Maps it was announced that iPhones switched back to Google Maps. My iPhone is hella old, so I think it always had Google Maps, so I don't know first hand.

You may appreciate the spoken word intro to this song:

Ugh. I have an automatic and none of that sounds fun. I'd have to try it the next time I get in my car, but I can't imagine being able to work the brake pedal with my left foot because of the steering wheel being in the way.

Brony alert!

2 hours makes a HUGE difference. I try to go to bed one hour earlier than I used to on work nights, and it made a huge difference. When I went to bed at 10:00 I was always tired, sluggish, and miserable at work. Since I started doing my best to go to bed by 9:00, I've always been far more energetic at work and no where near as miserable.

Packard's basically the only one here who can make me break my vow of not shit-slinging over the Internet. EDIT: Maybe bucket too. 15 years ago though? RAAAAAAAAGE.

Using cocaine on a bar toilet. I don't often go to bars, especially not biker bars, but I got kinda a funny story. A while ago I drove out to Apple Valley, California, for Throwback Metal Fest III (or was it Metal Throwback Fest III?) held at a combination restaurant / bar / inn. There were 12 bands playing through 2 days, but I only cared to see one certain band, called Emerald. Anyway, pretty soon after I got there, I figured I should try to take a shit so I don't have to go during the band's set. Well, I'm STRUGGLING. It takes me a while. When I come out, there's one dude pissing at the urinal and another dude at the sink talking to him. While I'm washing my hands, the guy at the sink asks me, "got any cocaine?" I tell him no, then he kids me that I must've been doing cocaine since I was in the stall for so long and keeps trying to egg me on. Then when I started getting paper towels to dry my hands, the guy at the urinal was like, "No one doing cocaine uses the paper towel machine!" In an effort to vouch for me. I thought that was a pretty dumb encounter at first, but later in the night, I went back to the bathroom, this time to take a piss.... I'm at the urinal, and in the stall I hear a HUGE *sniff* a deep breath, and while my back is still turned, whoever was in there exited the stall and bathroom without washing his hands. Then I thought, "Maybe that weird guy had a point" lol.

Fair enough.

You knew what this was. (literally)

You better believe I looked for one of a black woman on purpose. 😂

Cut out middle man and just use chocolate milk.

I'm actually pretty curious myself. I can't imagine you pissing someone here off that much. Unless it was me when I facetiously go FUCK YOU or something or someone else doing the same.

You don't actually EAT balloons, do you? And by "eat" I am not referring to the same way one would "eat" pussy.

Chick Not-Fil-A.

I don't know enough about the fantasy genre to be able to agree or disagree. To me elves are just the ones that make Santa's toys.

I never had to deal with that. We used to have (maybe we still do, but I somehow doubt it) two landlines, my dad used one to take business calls from his home office. That's the one he wanted me to use for the Internet, not our "main" line. It actually wasn't often that I wanted to use the Internet but he was busy in his office. Most of his working time was at appointments elsewhere (or driving to and from said appointments).

Con: They don't get candy. Pro: Snow day! School's canceled! EDIT: Don't mind me. I just realized 7 inches PROBABLY isn't enough to get school canceled. Don't mind me, I'm a lifelong Californian. I don't know shit about snow days.

She's trying to get YOU to cum come you fuckin' fool!

Fucking millennials. *is a millennial*

Got mine already. The flu shot soreness does linger for a while, but by far the most painful needle I've gotten was to draw blood for getting blood work done. The nurse or whatever laughed at me for writhing and groaning in so much pain. Allergy shots on the other hand are cake. Anyone with serious allergies they can't seem to shake I highly recommend getting allergy shots. Can't imagine what Athena's been through with friggin spinal taps.

At first I misread "woodshop" as "woodship" and had quite the image in my head.