Doom Metal Alchemist

That's an angry looking Dick.

I went my entire adulthood until the age of 33 of having no irl friends. At 33 I put in my first effort since age, I want to say, 21, to form a band. And I actually succeeded this time! And that's where all my friends came from.

That's weird. When I tell people the first time I got drunk at 16 years old was on whiskey, they're always like, "No wonder you don't drink. Whiskey's a horrible drink to start with. You got to work up to it. Should've started with beer." By the way, I don't drink, even in my mid 30s.

RIP. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is possibly my favorite movie of all time.

I generally don't like being naked. I'm sure that'll change if I ever have someone to share sexy times with.... but without that.... I prefer pants or shorts, depending on the temperature.

Oh.... I haven't been a gamer since the days of the N64, so.... Yeah....

.....You hated money?

Fuck-fighting? On tour? I'd go see that.

Four words: Doctors Phil and Oz.

There's a new, confident Doom? Where is he? I could use him.

I don't get it... Are the border patrol agents mobsters and the guy crossing is "sleeping with the fishes"?

Oy. Jackie, reading your cluelessness just makes me shake my head and wonder, "is this what everyone here feels like when I post about my attempts at a love life?" The dude likes you. The dude wants to kiss you. He's not kissing you because you BLATANTLY wanted to slow things down, and he is respecting that. He doesn't want to ruin things with another moment like when he put his hand down your pants. I don't even know what to do with that "maybe he just wants a warm body" thought of yours. If he didn't like you as a person, he'd either be endlessly trying to score or would've given up hanging out with you entirely.

Watching my music come together with the work and input of my bandmates.

But the question is, are they all talk?

Today was lazier than I planned / wanted. I went to bed at around 9:00 AM. Planned to get up around 5:30 PM to go to my D&D night, but I was too tired, so I texted the group I wasn't going to make it, fell back asleep and didn't get up until after midnight.

That looks like the "Holy Grail" of fleshlights.

California.

You've been watching too much shonen anime, go home.

IKEA must have quite the sordid history.

Well, yeah.

That's not a stealth penis. How the bible describes the Virgin Mary's immaculate conception, God has a stealth penis.

I have no idea what Ikea that would be about. But this post reminds me of the time I saw something in the cable guide called "Bikini Islands", and I was like "ooh, that sounds nice" so I put it on, and it's a documentary about a group of islands actually naked named the Bikini Islands, which were not known for ladies in skimpy swimsuits (though I think that's actually where the swimsuit got its name from) but rather the islands served as extensive nuclear bomb test sites. Not quite as sexy as I hoped.

Happy birthday!

The difference is that sponges continued doing it way, way, way, WAY after literally anyone else on Earth gave a shit.

My Californian ass will join you in solidarity.