Doom Metal Alchemist

Since I'm forever alone, my only plans were taking my friend to the doctor, some kind of pre-examination for his upcoming surgery. Everything went well. Next step is him getting bloodwork done in a couple weeks, the week before the actual surgery.

Since I've never had a gf (and therefore, don't have any ex's) I was wondering if I could just give them a pic of my unrequited love. *sheds single tear*

One time I was eating lunch at McDonald's and this dude was on his phone shouting, "IF YOU COME NEAR HER I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

Happy birthday!

I hope you're the one giving it. 😄

The only connection I see is the more you eat, the fatter your ass gets, and the more you eat, the bigger your poops.

I'm pretty sure the same bands that were there when you went, Cunts and Hepa-Titus.

I work nights so it's not the following day I'm worried about, it's the day of. Technically I could take the day off, but I want to save my hours for when I really need them (or for concerts I REALLY want to go to.... fucking Uli Jon Roth is coming here in May... goddamn right I'm using PTO for that one).

They came to my town last year, me and my friend were considering seeing them, I don't remember why we ended up not going. They're coming again, but it's on a worknight, so I'm not gonna go.

*slaps you* wtf are you doing?

I love how these two posts came in succession and the latter didn't quote anything so its ambiguous to what it's a reply to.

Fake glasses, huh.... the prophecy was foretold.

How are your glasses staying up like that?

Great, now we got to take this Chapzilla tyrant out in a coup.

What's the verdict?

Honestly I think his stumbling backward was just his momentum, whether from just the force of Snowman having an equal and opposite reaction to his fist, or if he himself felt his momentum was going to have him toppling over on top of Snowman so he compensated by taking his momentum backward on purpose.

What's she gonna do with B.B. King's guitar? Become Quick Draw McGraw's alter ego El Kabong?

IT'S PEOPLE! SOYLENT CAKE IS PEOPLE!

Cracky at the appointment: "This couldn't happen to me 20 30 40 50 years ago when I was single, it had to happen now." I don't know how easily you could put yourself back in single-you mindset, but if you were single, do you think you would've tried to hit that?

We are on two different the same exact wavelengths.

What brought be to Robo-Nixon was CAC said "a new body" and that's exactly what Nixon's head said. "It says no BODY can..... but I've got a NEW body...."

Ba-ZING

Very much inline with your usual fare, I must say.

Especially when that sport is ice hockey, amirite or amirite????

@SwimModSponges a potential new follower.