little_girl_lost

bit o honey chick o stick mary janes

mike & ike/good n plenty smarties

peanut butter taffy in the orange and black wrappers people give out on halloween

necco wafers Jordan almonds

candy corn mallowcreme pumpkins candy canes conversation hearts circus peanuts

T.S. Motherfuckin' A.

the wedding season all the commercials are about their wedding, but I doubt we'll see it actually happen last night's ep, jimmy and gretchen tell fake love stories to wedding planners, no sign of Lindsay or Edgar, but i'm sure they'll have their own arcs this season, I don't wanna see them just following jimmy and Gretchen around

if by stick you mean erect penis, then yes, yes I can

i cant drive

with hookers and blow

the guy who played the kid in A Christmas Story that got his tongue stuck to the pole, he tried porn, but had to bow out cuz he couldn't get/stay hard so, him

at my job I've had to fire a lot of people lately young kids who stand there and cry and ask "why" over and over again I feel like this is good training for super-villainy

i'd wish myself into the cornfield

get them kicked out and/or demand a free meal

pray to robot-jesus

I would get a dick on a mug that was also printed with a child's handwriting that says "I luv my daddy"

do people try to get dicks printed on stuff?

that may be worth the rape and/or murder

yeah, i'mma do it a few years in a row, then abruptly stop with no notice, and go dark on social media get her used to it, then crush her

and I send my sister a card every year with different gift cards in them, she receives them, she's just an ingrate who doesn't even acknowledge getting them

my dad sent me a birth-mas card last year, asked me every week if it came yet and it hadn't, then the second week of January I got the ripped open empty envelope in a "we care" outer envelope from the post office someone prolly stole the card right out of the mail truck, stole the innards and discarded the envelope on the ground

now i'm sadder cuz I know there isn't one really cumming

i haven't gotten any xmas cards, email or otherwise