little_girl_lost

saves the "trim-to-fit" ends off the dr scholls insoles "just in case"

Knows where Jean spangler is

knows what really happened to sunny von bulow

My xmas tree this year

I'm pretty sure the day camp mum sent us to was giving us frozen soy sauce and duck sauce packets and calling them popsicles.

For a song called "piano man" it sure as fuck got hijacked by the harmonica man.

uses 2 uncooked spaghetti noodles to knit cooked spaghetti

just spent the last 20 minutes trying to thread a pin

Is the reason Handi-snacks don't come with the red stick anymore.

Cold medicine does absolutely nothing

Remember that astronaut that drove across the country in a diaper to go stalk her ex? pretty much that

They should continue the Wicked franchise with Jeff Goldblum, and call the next installment "Oz Girls Are Easy"

Do you think Jerry O'Connell, Corey Feldman, and Wil Wheaton are ever hanging out, and Jerry says to the other guys "you wanna go see a dead body" and then they all go to River Phoenix's grave?

thought he was jacking it to Joyce Hyser- turned out to be Ralph Macchio

I thought kerrygold butter was supposed to be like top shelf butter. I got a small tub of kerrygold thinking it would be easy to spread, it's solid as a rock. I really wanted good quality bread and butter, instead i got bread with chunks of butter on it cuz the shit wouldnt spread to save its life. And the label says 'naturally softer', bullshit

I almost feel sorry for john travolta with his santa commercials he does for credit cards and then i remember he's a scientology nutter

thanksgiving dinner was a roast beef sandwich from a gas station

has a restraining order against this guy

Amazon needs a dark mode on their website.

Weird that any woman throwing themselves at homer are babes, and when marge is pursued, it's always by a creep.

Loves to see great stand-up comedians become successful actors and never do stand up again

There's an alternate universe where there is a band from the late 60s-early 70s called "David, Stephen, Graham, & Neil"

Now, i dont drink the stuff, i havent even tasted a regular mtn dew in probably 25 years. But i sell beer and flavoured beers are a hit with the younger people (the old guys live on the mil. best ice and steel reserve). And all the people that come in for the flavoured beers, not one person has asked for a sugar free or zero sugar option. People tried the hard mtn dew when it came out, didnt like the taste and never messed with it again. It would be different if they made full sugar options and one zero sugar one for the people who prefer that.

Mtn dew really shot themselves in the foot by making their alcoholic mtn dew zero sugar, like, they don't have a full sugar option, its zero sugar only. And with all the drink companies making Hard or alcoholic versions of their drinks, I think capri sun needs to get in the game

There are too many star wars/star trek movies/shows just let franchises die