little_girl_lost

fred Schneider and Kermit the frog, the real rainbow connection

I only carry a small bag of ass

there used to be a man who shopped at my store very early in the morning, he had a very thick southern accents and would ask for a "large bag of ice" but it sounded like he was saying "large bag of ass" every time.

Dana Gould Hour

The wrong side. every night.

Tie me 14 year old girls down, sport

nothing like that in my area, main street in my town consists of a tiny Kroger, two gas stations, a dollar general and about 20 gambling joints

only a handy-j? I would go further with you for less

is that a local place? I don't have anything around here to get one, there's fast food places that offer floats, but those are on the other side of town.

haven't had one in years, but I am craving one in the worst way but I don't keep ice cream and root beer around my house I wanna stop at the grocery store on the way to work to pick up some, but I don't wanna wait for a 2 liter of root beer to get cold first

mid-day, I wake up too late to shower before work and a shower energizes me too much to be able to sleep afterward

finally, some love for short women

no prom for me, no kid would ask me to go and I was too poor to get a dress anyways

Mitch Hedberg hit me really hard and more recently, Michelle McNamara, a lot of sadness for patton oswalt

the heatwave finally broke here its a comfortable 79 atm

miserly

I couldn't resist myself

kind of surprised no one posted this one yet