The_annoying_one

It was dark Jerry, yeah. Kind of fits what birthday boy said, though.

I was today years old when I realized my spacebar scrolls a hell of a lot faster than the arrow keys.

A can of beef stew. I’m trying to cut down on food delivery a little since it’s so expensive and untrustworthy. And I didn’t feel like actually cooking anything with this absolute bitch of a headache.

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end, inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing.

Likes to yell “Now we are cooking with fire!” whenever someone lights up a grill.

Bakes potatoes in the midday sun and devours them.

Tops his hamburgers with peanut butter m&m’s.

That feeling when a movie you knew was going to be bad actually turns out really bad.

Narrowly avoided one of those car batteries while swimming laps in the ocean.

2 corn dogs and some store-bought macaroni salad. It was passable since I wasn’t really hungry anyway.

Asked about Mr. Hoonie in the local rec center and received a lot of sideways glances.

Just realized I missed my boardiversary a little less than a month ago. I’m unsurprisingly indifferent about this.

Told Mr. Hoonie how to save 15% or more on car insurance.

I’m not really sure what’s trying to get under my skin more right now: The loud kids playing outside, my dogs barking at the noise those kids are making, my shoddy WiFi that’ll barely let me stream anything, or the fact that I kind of feel like crap.

Taco Bell, I guess.

The eternal struggle of what to eat for dinner when nothing sounds good.

The whole notion of musicians "selling out" just because they eventually tweak their sound a little is complete bullshit. Artists are free to create whatever they choose, just like fans are free to move on if it no longer interests them.

Gave Mr. Hoonie VIP access to the most exclusive club in town.