The_annoying_one

Narrowly avoided one of those car batteries while swimming laps in the ocean.

2 corn dogs and some store-bought macaroni salad. It was passable since I wasn’t really hungry anyway.

Asked about Mr. Hoonie in the local rec center and received a lot of sideways glances.

Just realized I missed my boardiversary a little less than a month ago. I’m unsurprisingly indifferent about this.

Told Mr. Hoonie how to save 15% or more on car insurance.

I’m not really sure what’s trying to get under my skin more right now: The loud kids playing outside, my dogs barking at the noise those kids are making, my shoddy WiFi that’ll barely let me stream anything, or the fact that I kind of feel like crap.

Taco Bell, I guess.

The eternal struggle of what to eat for dinner when nothing sounds good.

The whole notion of musicians "selling out" just because they eventually tweak their sound a little is complete bullshit. Artists are free to create whatever they choose, just like fans are free to move on if it no longer interests them.

Gave Mr. Hoonie VIP access to the most exclusive club in town.

Happy birthday.

Earned a life-long supply of OxyClean for mentioning Billy Mays online.

A can of chicken and dumplings.

Farted inside of a nursery and blamed it on the kids.

I keep thinking of people I haven’t seen or spoken to in probably 30 years. What is this?

Dressed up as a giant bottle of mustard just to terrorize Rake Yohn.

Should know I would never touch Miracle Whip, that nasty crap.

Checkers emailed me a $5 off coupon that was set to expire in a few days, so I just went with that. That $5 off coupon was actually just a dollar off, but whatever.

Once smeared mayonnaise all over someone’s mailbox.