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You need Jesus.

You've been claasic'd. Apparently no one is safe

The fuck we doing here?

I don't.

I’m bagging this big beautiful hilarious Turkey 😆

Back on topic: Santa Claus is bald.

I need an adult

I just picture you as a sexually attractive specimen with a shaved head. This girl with comically large hands decides to sit on your lap. She caresses your scalp and, even plays a game of paddycake on it since it feels so good.

He just doesn’t seem like he’d have hair. It’s not an insult to be bald if he is. Men and ladies alike love bald.

GET OUTTA MY FUCKING SWAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JS: B=======D GT: B============D

No, I think he just needs a handjob. Everyone looks like a giant penis to him today.

God damn, motherfucker. You're smoking with an open can of gasoline in here.

You on the other hand indeed have a shaved head, but your muscle-bound physique makes it awkward for any chick to smack it too hard like Top Gun’s or ghostrek’s. A woman could point you to the end of the mattress where she would take a spray-can bottle of whipped cream, spray it on the top of your bald head and lick it off for you to laugh like a little boy again.

I'm mostly confused about how I'd "seem bald." How is that a thing?

I agree, there are plenty of people who rock the bald look

OH SHIT! IT'S TURKEY SEASON Y'ALL!!!!

Unpopular opinion but ghostrek’s nostrils would do the real heavy lifting in the sack. Feel the warmth and the wind of those little holes rather intimately.

You know what to do @ghostrek

The gift that keeps on giving

I need to know just what the fuck is going on in this thread.

The_annoying_on e That's great. Like he needs to go to the gas station. The annoying on E. When I first signed up here I used underscores since that's how I had my username on ASMB (they didn't allow spaces in usernames) but the way the underscores delineated the one word Doom_Metal_Alchemist looked equally stupid to me, if not more, so I requested Pat to remove the underscores and replace them with spaces. It's time for TAO to do the same.

I votes to replace the underscores with the ~

“Windows 10 Support ends in 5 days.” I fucking use Windows 7 man stop playing. There’s no point to that shit. It’s like with Apple. Everyone’s anti-capitalist until you suggest that maybe the 5th or 8th iPhone is still a fucking cellphone that should continue working for people.

if you take the humble ear bud flip the cup inside out then gently press the cup back down BEHOLD!!! Foreskin…

0 because I'm cooler than yall

Not sure anymore, I'm on prozac

changed his name back because nintendo is pulling some copyright bullshit.

I’m a lazy caveman in desperate need of a haircut.

You on a Packard phone, bro?

I always read @The_annoying_one as The_annoying_orange amd it kinda triggers me.

Well, I feel attacked here… No, I’m aware it kind of looks stupid. I made it this way back in 2006 and didn’t care enough to change it for this account. All hail the annoying underscores!

Won the 2024 Most Offensive Halloween Costume Contest by dressing up as a veterinarian neutering Garfield

Favorite insult is calling someone a meanie weenie

Hey @[classic swim], why you dragging my boy T_G?

I have a complicated relationship with how I view my body. Join the fucking club, right? I like eating rich food (although I’m definitely a quality over quantity type), but I exercise damn near every day because I’m horrified of being fat. So I flip out when I see slight pudge but at a big convention I suddenly get a reminder why I put in so much work. Is anyone ever happy with their bodies? Or is this why Joe Rogan injects himself with stem cell shit from Cancun doctors to fend off age?

Is the "Toasty!" guy from Mortal Kombat II.

Do we even know if @Top Gun is bald?

Nothing like getting a 1 am phone call from your niece that her mother's boyfriend hit her mommy. I called the cops. Currently waiting at the hospital. Her eye is lumped shut and her nose might be broken. Kids are safe. I brought them to their nanas. I want revenge.