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My xmas tree this year

I just want you all to know…. I’m drunk and sentimental. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas tomorrow, and your Hanukkah was equally awesome.

And may this year be better than the last. Low fucking bar, am I right?

is it scarier than young women "checking you out"

Babies. Granted, the only reason I'm still up is a Twilight Zone marathon.

old people. fuckallyall I"M UP... by complete mistake. i should have been in bed hours ago. but that pesky pinot g. haven't seen them in a little while...so we stayed up...watched the stars. then i watched a movie. something with markie mark balding and a plane, and the nerdy guy that got hot donna. anyway....eating neccos. *yup...sheeeerrrr am kuds* happy new year LOL just get your shit done and don't plan it for some next year bs. do it now. ok. love you. good night. sleep tight.

🖕

The most confusing, bleary-eyed week of the year, December 26th-January 2nd. I don't know what day of the week it is and I'm too scared to ask.

happy christmas. olive juice, old man.

I'm still impatiently waiting to open christmas presents.

Asleep by 10 pm on new years eve. *high fives* Those assholes better not be setting of fireworks. 😡

Y'all are old.

actually got up to take my old man meds and saw a notification from the work portal.... These mfers tryna play me....The message was stamped at 7:47.... But fuck it, its 11:21 and I'm bout to let y'all know who you playing with. Didn't expect a response because it was so late....but oh yeah, its fkn NYE...Yeah y'all bitches up. So instantly, responses start pouring in. By 12:14, they remembered my fkn name. Laid the boo down, brought in the NY kicking ass. I'm in a great mood

Fine. WTF Ever.

Boy, have I! ...I mean what?

I dunno about that. Have you seen their porn?

that is the question. a conversion with me, and myself: me: why are you getting your jams jams off? me: becu- me: because nothing. we don't want to gets outs our jam jams me: i say call a vote! me: HERE HERE! me: all those that want to be in jams jams say aye! me, me, and me: AYE. me: **putting back on jam jams** there's a poppet. my cat: *licking his ass* google: *recording*

Seems as good a place as any to put this...

Amah-day-us

It's pronounced "how dare you speak to me" "Day-Us" is also acceptable

A-am I doing it right?

I too want a Grafted blade

Two weeks hours later...

I kept thinking it was Sunday

I'm pretty sure the day camp mum sent us to was giving us frozen soy sauce and duck sauce packets and calling them popsicles.

And when they’re together, there’s plenty of bees. Happy Birthday!

Just finished the moonshine he's leaving for Santa Claus tonight.

Has been on the naughty list since 1996 following that incident at a Walmart where she beat up an old lady over the last Tickle Me Elmo doll.

For a song called "piano man" it sure as fuck got hijacked by the harmonica man.