jackiemarie90 Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 I wasn't a student over a year cause: depression in a global pandemic. Anyways, I'm really depressed and wanna kill myself. If you guys were to run away anywhere in the world to start a new life, where would you go? Seems like a good idea. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nabreezy Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 5 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: I'm really depressed and wanna kill myself I feel you, I'm sorry, and don't do it. 5 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: If you guys were to run away anywhere in the world to start a new life, where would you go? In the world, hard to say. In the US...also hard to say, but I'd probably go with a medium sized college city somewhere near where I am now in east TN, or the general NC/VA regional area. Warm and comfortable with plenty of nature. Also a couple years of college is free here too so you can always tell yourself you'll go back eventually and one day maybe even believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Share Posted February 13, 2022 2 minutes ago, Nabreezy said: I feel you, I'm sorry, and don't do it. In the world, hard to say. In the US...also hard to say, but I'd probably go with a medium sized college city somewhere near where I am now in east TN, or the general NC/VA regional area. Warm and comfortable with plenty of nature. Also a couple years of college is free here too so you can always tell yourself you'll go back eventually and one day maybe even believe it. Ok, I won't. I do want to come back, but honestly, really questioning if it should be in the fall. I want it to be longer. People here are selfish on another level. But in San Jose, it was the same. The only difference this time, was that I looked tough to my bullies. I didn't cry like a little bitch. But now I'm deemed to dangerous. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 well, is weather a factor? alaska would be a cool place to run to, at least for spring/summer. then maybe head to the east coast for winter, it's a different kind of vibe (i'd recommend NE coast) i'm sorry this happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Share Posted February 13, 2022 14 minutes ago, discolé monade said: well, is weather a factor? alaska would be a cool place to run to, at least for spring/summer. then maybe head to the east coast for winter, it's a different kind of vibe (i'd recommend NE coast) i'm sorry this happened. I had been considering the east coast for awhile now. Maybe DC/Virginia area. But I do not where to move and get a job and start a new life. I don't know if I want to be student for awhile. I feel too traumatized to go back to school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 5 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: I had been considering the east coast for awhile now. Maybe DC/Virginia area. But I do not where to move and get a job and start a new life. I don't know if I want to be student for awhile. I feel too traumatized to go back to school. virginia beach is a lot of fun. lived there for about 2 years ago. a very long time ago. when the tourists are gone, it's pretty chill. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Share Posted February 13, 2022 2 minutes ago, discolé monade said: virginia beach is a lot of fun. lived there for about 2 years ago. a very long time ago. when the tourists are gone, it's pretty chill. I wonder if they have shared housing like here. I'm slowly realizing like half the housing here is like 8 bedroom houses where everyone pitches in because the rent is so god dam expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudasai Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 Sorry to hear that. Everyone here has your back if you ever need to talk. And to answer your question I've made it known that I plan on moving to Arizona sometime in the future. Hopefully in a rural spot. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Share Posted February 13, 2022 2 minutes ago, Kudasai said: Sorry to hear that. Everyone here has your back if you ever need to talk. And to answer your question I've made it known that I plan on moving to Arizona sometime in the future. Hopefully in a rural spot. Do you have a plan to get a plot of land? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudasai Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 7 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: Do you have a plan to get a plot of land? Haven't figured out the details but I can for certain say that my time in Michigan will be coming to an end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted February 13, 2022 Author Share Posted February 13, 2022 Just now, Kudasai said: Haven't figured out the details but I can for certain say that my time in Michigan will be coming to an end What makes you want to leave if you don't mind me asking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudasai Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 3 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: What makes you want to leave if you don't mind me asking? I just really want a change of scenery and there's something about Arizona that appeals to me some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 For downtime contemplation / extended sabbatical I recommend you go to the cheapest place that you can be safe at wherever that is. and if anyone bullies you again.. send me their social medias… Fear will keep them in line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 I doubt it's possible to run from what you're encountering, as you'll probably run into the same or worse anywhere you go. If you truly think going elsewhere is what is best for you, take political leanings into consideration (along with weather, etc.). Alaska was suggested, but is also a Red state. Madison, WI is supposed to be an easy-going college town (I've got left-leaning cousins that live outside the city proper). You might look through local newspapers online for the places you consider, just to see what is going down currently. I'm pretty sure no particular place is going to be idyllic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 I'd prolly do like that lady in The Wolf Children and roll out to some super rural area full of old people and grow potatoes. Get a pick up truck and 2 dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nameraka Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 Always wanted to go to Buenos Aires. Not too expensive. Loads of culture. Temperate climate. Architecturally interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilosipherStoned Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 Wow. The 'I wanna kill myself' thing.... I've been through a lot of shit lady. Not sure how my reputation even stands here sometimes since I'm definitely guilty of using this place as an outlet for simular reasons...Jackie You've been here for so long, and your one of the only users outside poe territory that actually seem real and relatable when you post about your goals, struggles etc. I've lost a damn good friend to suicide already. I don't think feelings like those that lead you in the direction of purposeful death can be ran from honestly. I have them myself, but I also have a lot of other shit that's hard to explain in a message board post... All I can say is pm me if you want to talk about shit or yadayada. Moving...Especially to new and drastically different areas is not the answer in my experience. Maybe it's yours, and it can work. Only you can make that shit work though honestly. I felt the same way being active duty.. Hmm This place I have to go to next sounds nice...Hawaii is on the table. A change of scenery can only do so much is all I'm saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 13 hours ago, Vamped said: I'd prolly do like that lady in The Wolf Children and roll out to some super rural area full of old people and grow potatoes. Get a pick up truck and 2 dogs. washington, nj. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 12 hours ago, nameraka said: Always wanted to go to Buenos Aires. Not too expensive. Loads of culture. Temperate climate. Architecturally interesting. and lots of machismo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 8 hours ago, discolé monade said: and lots of machismo. Quien es mas macho, Fernando Lamas o Ricardo Montalban? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 Ay I know you don't know me but my DMs are open if you need to talk about shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumbo Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) On 2/13/2022 at 12:58 PM, jackiemarie90 said: I wasn't a student over a year cause: depression in a global pandemic. Anyways, I'm really depressed and wanna kill myself. If you guys were to run away anywhere in the world to start a new life, where would you go? Seems like a good idea. You are going to have to admit you need mental health counseling.. you have to be a serious participant in a recovery and medical program.. you're going to have to explain you are homeless and have no money.. you will need as much proof of your current situation and living conditions and mental health status as you can provide,, this is why i suggest asking for a recommendation to be linked to a mental health social worker. Go to mental health and ask them, over a considerable amount of time to hook you up with a social worker that can tell you how to obtain welfare and counseling, somewhere else. Hopefully in a slow moving suburban area with really good medicaid so you can get treatment and transportation, hook up with some psychologists, poke around to find a safe place and take a lot, I mean years, of time to distance yourself from everyone except those you love and support you... distance yourself from your immediate situation and problems and the concerns that boggle you most. . Create yourself a safety net of mental health and crisis management, you may even want to consider a short hospital stay if they can really dive into what your asking, so while you adjust to the move you are in secure facility to gain some courage and scour papers and ads and learn the area.. they might be alike to advise most of this, and align a living arrangement... so you'll need to learn the area first, groceries, pharmacies, facilities, hospitals, counseling, transportation, crisis phone numbers, social services, taxis, businesses, post offices, police stations, public services, food banks, homeless shelters, and so on... the more you know the better and ask... (if you take my advice,) the psychologists you choose to help you apply for social security disability or supplemental security income,... then after you create a safety net and participate in counseling, ask them to assess your readiness to work.... are you addicted? Edited February 15, 2022 by mumbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumbo Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Edit for better accuracy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumbo Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) You would rather go straight to mental health and skip the relocation advise, because it might be outside your medicaid workers reach to tap into outside sources. Really what you would be asking is to be linked with mental health in the state you select, but I don't think you really have your story concise enough to jump right into the relocation idea directly with welfare... a mental health social worker is a better place to start in your life I think. They will know how to create your support system locally, but on those terms, you would need to prove some stability. They will help you anyway they can but might not see things the same way as you, and help you through some of the immediate problems first Edited February 15, 2022 by mumbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Sheesh 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumbo Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Hey I guess I'm supposed be helping so, isn't a suicude threat an @Raptorpat situation. This sucks that I'm online for like two days and making reports already. Blows. Jackie, if I didn't know you are ok I would have said something sooner, but you used have your shit together and I wasn't worried. Well it's out of my hands good luck, jackie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 1 hour ago, mumbo said: I don't think you really have your story concise enough Her story isn't concise enough, but your advice is? Your crisis intervention mumblings are too much. If you feel suicidal or are having suicidal thoughts ... go to the nearest ER, call 911 or call the suicide hotline for mobile crisis 1- 800-273-8255 Somebody in crisis is not going to sit here trying to figure out what the fuck you're talking about and then go through the effort of trying to follow all of your steps if they figure it out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumbo Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 4 minutes ago, Vamped said: Her story isn't concise enough, but your advice is? Your crisis intervention mumblings are too much. If you feel suicidal or are having suicidal thoughts ... go to the nearest ER, call 911 or call the suicide hotline for mobile crisis 1- 800-273-8255 Somebody in crisis is not going to sit here trying to figure out what the fuck you're talking about and then go through the effort of trying to follow all of your steps if they figure it out. Yes to have a plan to move I couldn't say what the best first step would be. But I reevaluated and no one is going to want her to catch a bus and get hospitalized somewhere else as a plan, so I had to ditch that idea and start from scratch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumbo Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 6 minutes ago, Vamped said: Her story isn't concise enough, but your advice is? Your crisis intervention mumblings are too much. If you feel suicidal or are having suicidal thoughts ... go to the nearest ER, call 911 or call the suicide hotline for mobile crisis 1- 800-273-8255 Somebody in crisis is not going to sit here trying to figure out what the fuck you're talking about and then go through the effort of trying to follow all of your steps if they figure it out. Well she has been here for years and based on the pattern I think differently... I actually believe I can give her some hope. And you don't have to be mean. Last time we had a civil conversation was years ago vamped. You jumped train. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 1 hour ago, mumbo said: Hey I guess I'm supposed be helping so, isn't a suicude threat an @Raptorpat situation. This sucks that I'm online for like two days and making reports already. Blows. Jackie, if I didn't know you are ok I would have said something sooner, but you used have your shit together and I wasn't worried. Well it's out of my hands good luck, jackie Don't ever do anything ever again 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Suicide ideation is not suicidal intent. In an effort not to de-rail Jackie's thread into Dumpster Fires, I will excuse myself from this thread. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptorpat Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 1 hour ago, mumbo said: Hey I guess I'm supposed be helping so, isn't a suicude threat an @Raptorpat situation. 33 minutes ago, Vamped said: Suicide ideation is not suicidal intent. Thank you Vamped. 1 hour ago, mumbo said: This sucks that I'm online for like two days and making reports already. If you are going to report something, especially if it's something as serious as suicide, SEND AN ACTUAL REPORT AND DONT JUST TAG ME. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilosipherStoned Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) Heaven forbid ya know, but hopefully Jackie actually has someone here she can trust to just kind of level with in DM's they would Ideally be female given the nature of a lot of her posts speaking about relationships probably in said school.. Because at least two of us have said DM's are open, but both of us are dudes and admittedly (I can only speak for myself I guess) though I'm game and have been there for ya know plutonic friends and tried to provide a shoulder ya know... 'girl talk' I think (if I put the term in the right way) does go a lot further in situations like this... As for the thread topic since a lot of users did the opposite of me, where would I go if I could? Some of the forests of Japan sound awesome idk..Even the infamous one...Alternatively I watched a conservation channel I follow go into hostile African terrirtory to join with local rangers in protecting a gorilla troop. Shit seems carthartic looking at the view, but you definitely don't escape political bullshit even in remote, and wild areas like that so.. Idk I'm a realist. Edited February 15, 2022 by PhilosipherStoned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnmjy Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Personally, I don't like the idea of running away to start anew. A change of scenery doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes, all it does is create even more stress. Ultimately, you only know what's best for you. Maybe start by taking a temporary retreat somewhere. Hang in there, regardless. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted February 17, 2022 Author Share Posted February 17, 2022 whoa I want to apologized to anyone I scared. I feel like I want to kill myself, but currently do not have any plans. I am experiencing some major depressive symptoms from disorder, but it's mostly things like not communicating with my friends, and not getting out of bed. I barely made it to work like 25 minutes late today, this shit is affecting me, but there is something I haven't mentioned, and that's I was also kicked out by 3 to 4 people who I lived with. And the thought of pissing them off more keeps me going for a bit more. I'm actually still causing a ruckus at that house, but that's one when they try to block me further. I do want to say the whole story. But just kind of mentally laying low for now 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 hang in there jackie. I was voted out of a house unanimously before. It's a really sucky feeling. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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