Jump to content
UnevenEdge
This Folder has been Archived!

How do you trust after being cheated on?

That_One_Guy

By That_One_Guy
in Free-For-All

 Share

Recommended Posts

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
Posted

I've had serious issues ever since the first time I was cheated on (I've been cheated on twice). She was such a convincing liar and really good at covering her tracks. I did know something was up when she stopped having sex with me. But she always had a convincing excuse. It was crazy how good she was at lying. She was cheating on me with her ex. I had a sneaking suspicion that she never got over him and boy was I right. Basically anytime I wasn't around they were together. I thought I was just being paranoid then I found out from a mutual friend that she had been cheating on me and lying to me for months. I also found out they had been flirting via text basically the whole time we were together (close to a year). This whole situation fucked me up mainly because she fooled me so well. This was about five years ago and I still have serious trust issues. I even have trust issues outside of romantic pursuits. I always feel like I'm being lied to now. What do? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
GuyBeardmane Star

GuyBeardmane

Posted
Posted

Fuck her ex that she cheated on you with.  IT'S THE ULTIMATE REVENGE.

 

But srsly, it's a hard thing to get over and it's easy to get hung up on.  Only time can really help.  Eventually you'll stop thinking about her and you'll trust again whole heartedly.

Also get a puppy.  They are good friends and always bring joy.  They will help you open up again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
1 minute ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Fuck her ex that she cheated on you with.  IT'S THE ULTIMATE REVENGE.

 

But srsly, it's a hard thing to get over and it's easy to get hung up on.  Only time can really help.  Eventually you'll stop thinking about her and you'll trust again whole heartedly.

Also get a puppy.  They are good friends and always bring joy.  They will help you open up again.

Lol I never even saw the dude. She just talked about him a lot. But he sounded like a bitch. 

I actually have a dog so maybe I'm on the right track haha

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rogue_Alphonse Monster Mutant

Rogue_Alphonse

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

I've had serious issues ever since the first time I was cheated on (I've been cheated on twice). She was such a convincing liar and really good at covering her tracks. I did know something was up when she stopped having sex with me. But she always had a convincing excuse. It was crazy how good she was at lying. She was cheating on me with her ex. I had a sneaking suspicion that she never got over him and boy was I right. Basically anytime I wasn't around they were together. I thought I was just being paranoid then I found out from a mutual friend that she had been cheating on me and lying to me for months. I also found out they had been flirting via text basically the whole time we were together (close to a year). This whole situation fucked me up mainly because she fooled me so well. This was about five years ago and I still have serious trust issues. I even have trust issues outside of romantic pursuits. I always feel like I'm being lied to now. What do? 

I have trust issues I have been slowly working past but I completely cut off the insane whore I mistakenly dated before finding the right person. It’s easy to get past it once I think, “Oh they are nothing more than a whore.”

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Vamped Monster Mutant

Vamped

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Fuck her ex that she cheated on you with.  IT'S THE ULTIMATE REVENGE.

 

But srsly, it's a hard thing to get over and it's easy to get hung up on.  Only time can really help.  Eventually you'll stop thinking about her and you'll trust again whole heartedly.

Also get a puppy.  They are good friends and always bring joy.  They will help you open up again.

No. You fuck her mom and then her dad

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
5 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said:

I have trust issues I have been slowly working past but I completely cut off the insane whore I mistakenly dated before finding the right person. It’s easy to get past it once I think, “Oh they are nothing more than a whore.”

Lmao I dig it. Those insane whores man. They're everywhere. Sometimes even here 👀

Link to comment
Share on other sites
scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

Posted
Posted

You can't control how other people treat you, but you can control how you treat others.  Because trust isn't something that can be bestowed - it has to be earned with each and every person you encounter - the best way to have someone else earn your trust is to set meaningful expectations for yourself.  That means learning first to not rely on anyone else for the the things you need to be emotionally stable:  you don't need someone else to make you laugh when you find something funny; you don't need anyone else to tell you when to be sad; if someone does something that angers you, then tell them immediately.  The point isn't to isolate yourself from people, it's just to be willing to be a stranger in a crowd.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
5 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

You can't control how other people treat you, but you can control how you treat others.  Because trust isn't something that can be bestowed - it has to be earned with each and every person you encounter - the best way to have someone else earn your trust is to set meaningful expectations for yourself.  That means learning first to not rely on anyone else for the the things you need to be emotionally stable:  you don't need someone else to make you laugh when you find something funny; you don't need anyone else to tell you when to be sad; if someone does something that angers you, then tell them immediately.  The point isn't to isolate yourself from people, it's just to be willing to be a stranger in a crowd.

That's actually really sorry advice. Lol damn that cal education is worth it 😁

Link to comment
Share on other sites
🍑Side Piece McSlutty Tits Gentry

🍑Side Piece McSlutty Tits

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

Your first mistake was trusting anyone in the first place.  No one deserves your trust, you just mutually share your time together and enjoy the good times.

Other than that

 

 

He sucks but hes right. Trust NO ONE. Expect the more you love someone the more they will most likely hurt you and move on.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Baby_Yoda Aristocrat

Baby_Yoda

Posted
Posted

I have a hard time trusting in general due to my upbringing. My biological mother abandoned my siblings and i when i was very young. She has muchausen syndrome by proxy, so she used to do things to trigger my asthma or hurt me to get sympathy from others. She was also bipolar and had a personality disorder. She would leave us for days, weeks, sometimes a month at a time in a house alone. Sometimes without power, water, or food. Then one day she just didn’t come back and she put the house up for auction. We were all homeless and bounced around to get by. I got with my ex in 2007 and left him in 2012. He was beating my ass and cheating. Then he passed away in 2014: https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/garrett-taylor-obituary?pid=172948194 i don’t trust anyone. No one here knows my real name. Etc etc. I don’t trust people when i am with them. Plus i am bipolar. 

  • Like 1
  • Sad 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
36 minutes ago, 🍑Side Piece McSlutty Tits said:

Also i see the little cowardly hints at me lol im not a cheater and i dont date those types..i barely date at all and im monogamous when i do. Im not greedy. Im not the heartless bitch you werent enough for. 

If you're referring to what I said to Rogue that wasn't about you. I was playin lol chill

Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
20 minutes ago, renjifan said:

Oh, that's hard. I can 100% relate and it sucks. I think it's pretty normal to be much more guarded after something like that happens, and it will take time to heal.

Yeah like now when I'm with someone I fuck things up because I just can't bring myself to believe that there's no catch

Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
20 minutes ago, Tempty_McHotstuff said:

I have a hard time trusting in general due to my upbringing. My biological mother abandoned my siblings and i when i was very young. She has muchausen syndrome by proxy, so she used to do things to trigger my asthma or hurt me to get sympathy from others. She was also bipolar and had a personality disorder. She would leave us for days, weeks, sometimes a month at a time in a house alone. Sometimes without power, water, or food. Then one day she just didn’t come back and she put the house up for auction. We were all homeless and bounced around to get by. I got with my ex in 2007 and left him in 2012. He was beating my ass and cheating. Then he passed away in 2014: https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/garrett-taylor-obituary?pid=172948194 i don’t trust anyone. No one here knows my real name. Etc etc. I don’t trust people when i am with them. Plus i am bipolar. 

I'm very very very sorry that you went through all that Boo. that's some seriously rough shit :(

You didn't deserve any of that

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
renjifan Aristocrat

renjifan

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Yeah like now when I'm with someone I fuck things up because I just can't bring myself to believe that there's no catch

I completely get it. My ex hooked up with my best friend, like a frickin' soap opera or something. It really messed me up. I haven't really had a serious relationship since.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
25 minutes ago, renjifan said:

I completely get it. My ex hooked up with my best friend, like a frickin' soap opera or something. It really messed me up. I haven't really had a serious relationship since.

thats fucked up. I couldn't imagine that. At least when i got cheated on I didnt know the dude. I couldn't imagine getting betrayed by a best friend and my partner.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

I've had serious issues ever since the first time I was cheated on (I've been cheated on twice). She was such a convincing liar and really good at covering her tracks. I did know something was up when she stopped having sex with me. But she always had a convincing excuse. It was crazy how good she was at lying. She was cheating on me with her ex. I had a sneaking suspicion that she never got over him and boy was I right. Basically anytime I wasn't around they were together. I thought I was just being paranoid then I found out from a mutual friend that she had been cheating on me and lying to me for months. I also found out they had been flirting via text basically the whole time we were together (close to a year). This whole situation fucked me up mainly because she fooled me so well. This was about five years ago and I still have serious trust issues. I even have trust issues outside of romantic pursuits. I always feel like I'm being lied to now. What do? 

You get over it bc it's going to be 2020 who even has closed relationships anymore???

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
renjifan Aristocrat

renjifan

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

thats fucked up. I couldn't imagine that. At least when i got cheated on I didnt know the dude. I couldn't imagine getting betrayed by a best friend and my partner.

Yeah, it was pretty awful. She at least felt bad about it and ended up telling me. And when I called my ex out on it, he just got pissed. Like he was annoyed that I was upset. No remorse, no apologies. He was the worst...

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
5 minutes ago, renjifan said:

Yeah, it was pretty awful. She at least felt bad about it and ended up telling me. And when I called my ex out on it, he just got pissed. Like he was annoyed that I was upset. No remorse, no apologies. He was the worst...

thats fucking awful. I'm sorry. Fuck that must have hurt

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Vela Megastar

Vela

Posted
Posted

It's not the cheating that hurts it's the lies that surround it that fuck you up.  I guess "time" might help you trust again but I don't think it will for me.  Which is why I agree with this...

8 hours ago, André Toulon said:

 just mutually share your time together and enjoy the good times.

 

Cause it wasn't worth trusting to begin with, lol.  You 'do' for you from now on.  And then maybe if you find the right person whom you appreciate for who they are you'll have to put one foot in front of the other and see where it takes you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
molarbear Hero

molarbear

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

I've had serious issues ever since the first time I was cheated on (I've been cheated on twice). She was such a convincing liar and really good at covering her tracks. I did know something was up when she stopped having sex with me. But she always had a convincing excuse. It was crazy how good she was at lying. She was cheating on me with her ex. I had a sneaking suspicion that she never got over him and boy was I right. Basically anytime I wasn't around they were together. I thought I was just being paranoid then I found out from a mutual friend that she had been cheating on me and lying to me for months. I also found out they had been flirting via text basically the whole time we were together (close to a year). This whole situation fucked me up mainly because she fooled me so well. This was about five years ago and I still have serious trust issues. I even have trust issues outside of romantic pursuits. I always feel like I'm being lied to now. What do? 

You poor soul, a Good Therapist can help.   Or so I thought, the last person I talked to attempted to get teary eyed and claim I didn't "Trust" them, they then informed me they were totally sleeping with their coworker. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jackiemarie90 Megastar

jackiemarie90

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

I've had serious issues ever since the first time I was cheated on (I've been cheated on twice). She was such a convincing liar and really good at covering her tracks. I did know something was up when she stopped having sex with me. But she always had a convincing excuse. It was crazy how good she was at lying. She was cheating on me with her ex. I had a sneaking suspicion that she never got over him and boy was I right. Basically anytime I wasn't around they were together. I thought I was just being paranoid then I found out from a mutual friend that she had been cheating on me and lying to me for months. I also found out they had been flirting via text basically the whole time we were together (close to a year). This whole situation fucked me up mainly because she fooled me so well. This was about five years ago and I still have serious trust issues. I even have trust issues outside of romantic pursuits. I always feel like I'm being lied to now. What do? 

As someone who takes the world personally, try not to take it personally and see people as new slates of a variety of characters.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Distinct Lunatic Icon

Distinct Lunatic

Posted
Posted

My first girlfriend was really nice and sweet, she was also half black, though she was the type that'd be considered white on the inside, and that's what counts. Anywho, I was with her for 6 to 8 months, don't really remember since I was around 17 back then. Things were falling apart in the last month or so, she told me at some point she cheated on me, she didn't do it with anyone (as far as I know) but she started seeing someone else. I really cared about her and you could say I was blindsided by that so instead of splitting up then I managed to get us to work through it, but then this one grade A dbag that didn't like me at all did his best to cause trouble between us, him being a friend of hers and unable to see that he was only being her friend to fuck me over, the dude even told her that he only started talking to her yo drive us apart but gave her one of those "but once I got to know you I couldn't do that" talks and she believed it. It wasn't long after that that they hooked up, and I don't think they were together that long before splitting up. 

My second girl was very very manipulative, and in some ways a compulsive liar. She'd lead me on with so much drama supposedly going on in her life, using that to exploit my grief for her amusement and benefit. 

These two relationships went down between 2010 and 2012, and everyone in the boards back then thought that I was just a bitter asshole that argued with everyone for no reason at all, something some people here still hold against me to belittle me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...