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UnevenEdge

Depression is a bitch.


Age of S'jet

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I don't have many pressing issues in my life right, but I had some conversations with a friend the other night and came to the conclusions I'm massively depressed. Every weekend is the same. Meet up with the same group of people and then meet up with our other groups.  Go to the same two bars and grab food at the same place. My life has become very habitual  and so have the friends closest to me. It's all smiles and laughs on the outside, but it just doesn't feel like its real. The moment some drama happens or someone voices an opinion of something negative, its like everyone else immediately feels the same way and the mood just changes for hours. Me, friends, gf, all same way. Maybe it's the winter, maybe its philly, maybe its just the world sucking ass. I dunno. I certainly am not gonna talk to some stranger who get paid at the end of the day to listen to me. 

 

Don't even get me started on work. Work is pure evil. No one is your ally at a job, unless you start hanging out with them outside of work. No one gives a fuck about you on this world.

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1 minute ago, DoubleDoink said:

Don't even get me started on work. Work is pure evil. No one is your ally at a job, unless you start hanging out with them outside of work. No one gives a fuck about you on this world.

I just made a complaint similar to this in rants.

Do everything..as someone with your...issues...do everything to avoid people at work. They are poison to folks like us and they DO seek out sensitive people!

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Just now, 🍬Candy🍬 said:

I just made a complaint similar to this in rants.

Do everything..as someone with your...issues...do everything to avoid people at work. They are poison to folks like us and they DO seek out sensitive people!

I don't have the issues you're thinking of. I just can't stand douche baggery on the iinternet, especially from a group of people that has known each other forever. That's it. I am entirely a different person IRL. Thanks for attempting to inject that misconception immediately into my thread tho.


I am used to being in the background at work, and having to manage people with small amounts of pay and hear their complaints and be able to do nothing about it is terrible, and it's not like I can exactly share my paycheck which is only double of theirs with them.

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The only things that ever truly helped me with bouts of depression were stuff like finally doing something I always wanted to do or returning to something I had attempted but quit. Passion projects were good for this. Or learning something like a new language or program. 

I don't fuck with therapists after the one I saw after the Vegas shooting told me I was gay because I must have been raped. She firmly believed all gay people were raped and that's why they were gay. Bump that shit. 

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3 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

The only things that ever truly helped me with bouts of depression were stuff like finally doing something I always wanted to do or returning to something I had attempted but quit. Passion projects were good for this. Or learning something like a new language or program. 

I don't fuck with therapists after the one I saw after the Vegas shooting told me I was gay because I must have been raped. She firmly believed all gay people were raped and that's why they were gay. Bump that shit. 

I am holding off a few things that are pretty important,

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A rut can be depressing. Stop going out with the same people, and to the same places. Mix it up. Try different things on the weekends. That doesn't help with work issues, but could help with the social life. Mingling with new people, or just going to the movies with the g/f. Small things like that could have a big positive impact. If they don't, then you haven't lost anything but one weekend.

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1 hour ago, GunStarHero said:

The only things that ever truly helped me with bouts of depression were stuff like finally doing something I always wanted to do or returning to something I had attempted but quit. Passion projects were good for this. Or learning something like a new language or program. 

I don't fuck with therapists after the one I saw after the Vegas shooting told me I was gay because I must have been raped. She firmly believed all gay people were raped and that's why they were gay. Bump that shit. 

Also that therapist logic makes no sense. Let's give degrees out to people and let them make bucko bucks for diagnosing the part of the human body we know the least about..makes sense.

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35 minutes ago, midnight said:

A rut can be depressing. Stop going out with the same people, and to the same places. Mix it up. Try different things on the weekends. That doesn't help with work issues, but could help with the social life. Mingling with new people, or just going to the movies with the g/f. Small things like that could have a big positive impact. If they don't, then you haven't lost anything but one weekend.

I already cut the most toxic person to me out of my life. I've done this before and can do it again. I have thought about a reset. I have had multiple groups of friends over the years that I'm all still In contact with, and go out of my way to see bi-monthly. Getting a new group of regular friends is easy for me, but getting tiresome.

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1 minute ago, DoubleDoink said:

I already cut the most toxic person to me out of my life. I've done this before and can do it again. I have thought about a reset. I have had multiple groups of friends over the years that I'm all still In contact with, and go out of my way to see bi-monthly. Getting a new group of regular friends is easy for me, but getting tiresome.

I can't even relate anymore really. Being married for so long. Having kids. Grandkids. Hell, going out for us is going to the grocery store. 

I don't really know man. Sorry I couldn't be of any help.

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I've erased 3 long ass posts just to say....And take this with a grain of salt because this works for me, but maybe not you....Man, just don't ever try to replace negativity with negativity.  Every time I get in a rut, I try to learn a new skill....Will I ever use it professionally....Probably not, but guess what.  I can swim now....2 years ago, despite being raised on the gulf coast....I could not swim, and was scared to try.  Just find something you think you can't do, or have resigned on ever trying and try it.

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I’ve never really understood internet personas...if it’s not you then don’t fucking do it...god forbid you find someone who likes this “persona” then you actually meet up with them and you have to continue some facade or admit that you had been lying the whole time...

i am the same fucking person from web to life...the only difference is my tone of voice...I still say fucked up shit...but you can tell I’m kidding when I do it...but I’m certainly not gonna prance around to placate anyone’s opinion or with some character I’ve made up...

bullet points:

dont be fake

dont fucking lie

and stop being a little bitch when things don’t go how you planned

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15 hours ago, GunStarHero said:

The only things that ever truly helped me with bouts of depression were stuff like finally doing something I always wanted to do or returning to something I had attempted but quit. Passion projects were good for this. Or learning something like a new language or program. 

I don't fuck with therapists after the one I saw after the Vegas shooting told me I was gay because I must have been raped. She firmly believed all gay people were raped and that's why they were gay. Bump that shit. 

Not all therapists are so dense to LGBTQ issues. One of my facebook friends is a trans therapist (he's trans himself, I mean). Not saying you should go find yourself another therapist, but if you feel compelled, you can probably find someone on google that is not only properly sensitive to LGBTQ issues, but possibly specializes in them.

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1 hour ago, Still Me said:

I’ve never really understood internet personas...if it’s not you then don’t fucking do it...god forbid you find someone who likes this “persona” then you actually meet up with them and you have to continue some facade or admit that you had been lying the whole time...

i am the same fucking person from web to life...the only difference is my tone of voice...I still say fucked up shit...but you can tell I’m kidding when I do it...but I’m certainly not gonna prance around to placate anyone’s opinion or with some character I’ve made up...

bullet points:

dont be fake

dont fucking lie

and stop being a little bitch when things don’t go how you planned

Nah, I think I get what he's saying. Sometimes it's a lot easier to keep your emotions in check and your tantrums to yourself IRL then online. IRL you're more afraid of being judged and the shield of anonymity is not there.

That's been my experience, anyway. 

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2 hours ago, Still Me said:

I’ve never really understood internet personas...if it’s not you then don’t fucking do it...god forbid you find someone who likes this “persona” then you actually meet up with them and you have to continue some facade or admit that you had been lying the whole time...

i am the same fucking person from web to life...the only difference is my tone of voice...I still say fucked up shit...but you can tell I’m kidding when I do it...but I’m certainly not gonna prance around to placate anyone’s opinion or with some character I’ve made up...

bullet points:

dont be fake

dont fucking lie

and stop being a little bitch when things don’t go how you planned

Not that this post has anything to do with me, but yeah, I agree with this.

I have said things online that have actually led to face to face encounters in the real world. 

And I repeated to the individual exactly what I said online. It got ugly fast, but I am the same irl as on here. 

I usually mean what I say and rarely apologize. 

I never lie. Well, sometimes. But it's about petty shit. Like disco will ask who tracked dirt all through the house, and if I did it, I'll just blame it on one of the kids or something. Haha. 

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7 hours ago, DoubleDoink said:

August. Gotta wait till then.

Planning additional vacation makes me feel better. I like vacationing and vacation planning. 

I hope you find something you like to do to break you out of your rut. I'm a creature of habit so its a little difficult for me to adjust to doing things on the fly without it being planned, but sometimes thats what I need. 

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11 hours ago, cyberbully said:

I've erased 3 long ass posts just to say....And take this with a grain of salt because this works for me, but maybe not you....Man, just don't ever try to replace negativity with negativity.  Every time I get in a rut, I try to learn a new skill....Will I ever use it professionally....Probably not, but guess what.  I can swim now....2 years ago, despite being raised on the gulf coast....I could not swim, and was scared to try.  Just find something you think you can't do, or have resigned on ever trying and try it.

I've been playing this video  game together with my girl and we've been hanging out with people less and less. Then this weekend I'm not going out with my normal crew because I almost fought one of them on last sat. 

But, yea I could say the negativity in my life is certainly the group of friends I'm around the most. Not all of them are negative but a few of them seem like they're just taking what they can get socially, and I have other friends who'd love to hang out but won't come by when I'm with those others. 

I've come to terms that I need weekend social interaction, it's just the person I am - so this weekend me and the boo are gonna inv some people over we haven't seen in awhile and chill.

 

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6 hours ago, Still Me said:

I’ve never really understood internet personas...if it’s not you then don’t fucking do it...god forbid you find someone who likes this “persona” then you actually meet up with them and you have to continue some facade or admit that you had been lying the whole time...

i am the same fucking person from web to life...the only difference is my tone of voice...I still say fucked up shit...but you can tell I’m kidding when I do it...but I’m certainly not gonna prance around to placate anyone’s opinion or with some character I’ve made up...

bullet points:

dont be fake

dont fucking lie

and stop being a little bitch when things don’t go how you planned

I see you're trying to be civil.

Let me fill you in on a little bit of what made me make this post. Main group of friends, one of the dudes is a total douche bag. We bust eachothers balls all day but he takes it too far, especially with me somtimes. Drinking in jersey the other weekend when I managed to get them to all come out to my buddys house. He starts his bullshit right away with me when they get there and I told him I'm not gonna deal with it all night. First time he's meeting my girl too, so fast forward a few hours later and we're all at the bar up the street. Like, 20 of us pour into this bar. He keeps it up, and at one point I'm reaaaally drunk - so I see him being loud and obnoxious as usual - so idk why but I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder and started to say like yo dude we need to chill with this bs - he cut me off and told me to take my hand off his shoulder, at which point i told him why the fuck even come if you're gonna be a piece of shit and put my hand in his face and told him to fuck off. APPARENTLY I put my hand directly into his face and mushed it. GOOD. Fucker has had it coming. Fast foward 15 minutes and I go back over and I heard him talking shit again, so i got in his face and told him were fucking 30 years old stop acting like were in highschool, and he told me he was gonna spit if my face if i didnt get away from him, at which point i lost my shit and told him to fucking do it over and over for 15 seconds and he just sat there like a little pussy.  Mean while our boys didn't do anything to stop this shit, except for one person.

/end rant.

 

If this fat fucking wigger starts with me again I'm telling him to put his hands up. Dude is the literal worst. MFer sells drugs and didnt tell his wife for 5 years what he does and somehow she's still with his fat obese ass after she found out. Fucking lunatics.

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4 minutes ago, Vamped said:

 

This is how I imagine everyone else while all that is happening. 

image.jpeg.dbc767a6e344f87609e173cf61358466.jpeg

YES. LOL.

The three girls that were with us walked in from outside while my friend is telling me to chill and let it go, while im screaming at him saying shit like dude knows he pushes it to far if he keeps it up imma tell him to put his hands up.face beat red, veins popping out and they all look at me like hoooooly shit angry jeff. 

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4 hours ago, DoubleDoink said:

I see you're trying to be civil.

Let me fill you in on a little bit of what made me make this post. Main group of friends, one of the dudes is a total douche bag. We bust eachothers balls all day but he takes it too far, especially with me somtimes. Drinking in jersey the other weekend when I managed to get them to all come out to my buddys house. He starts his bullshit right away with me when they get there and I told him I'm not gonna deal with it all night. First time he's meeting my girl too, so fast forward a few hours later and we're all at the bar up the street. Like, 20 of us pour into this bar. He keeps it up, and at one point I'm reaaaally drunk - so I see him being loud and obnoxious as usual - so idk why but I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder and started to say like yo dude we need to chill with this bs - he cut me off and told me to take my hand off his shoulder, at which point i told him why the fuck even come if you're gonna be a piece of shit and put my hand in his face and told him to fuck off. APPARENTLY I put my hand directly into his face and mushed it. GOOD. Fucker has had it coming. Fast foward 15 minutes and I go back over and I heard him talking shit again, so i got in his face and told him were fucking 30 years old stop acting like were in highschool, and he told me he was gonna spit if my face if i didnt get away from him, at which point i lost my shit and told him to fucking do it over and over for 15 seconds and he just sat there like a little pussy.  Mean while our boys didn't do anything to stop this shit, except for one person.

/end rant.

 

If this fat fucking wigger starts with me again I'm telling him to put his hands up. Dude is the literal worst. MFer sells drugs and didnt tell his wife for 5 years what he does and somehow she's still with his fat obese ass after she found out. Fucking lunatics.

None of this sounds like depression...it’s sounds like an anger issue...or contol issues...hell maybe a drinking problem

Edited by Still Me
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It sounds to me more like:

  • Narcissism
  • anger/rage control issues
  • Alcoholism
  • inability to deal with change
  • inability to deal with routine
  • a dead end job
  • Unfulfilled relationships

 The first few, I recommend therapy for, especially behavioral changes. The last ones.....fucking suck up and deal with it, white boy. That’s fucking LIFE. That’s how shit works. Day-to-day bullshit, and people you don’t want to always deal with. Get the fuck over it. You weren’t born black or any other race/ethnicity, so enjoy life, asshat.

Edited by lupin_bebop
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