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UnevenEdge

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Posted

Staring me down over my night food 

I now know their schedule and the approximate trees where they live. 

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No one talk about my problematic ornaments 

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Posted
Just now, Nabloom said:

Only one way to settle this

*presses button on small pokeball to enlarge it slightly*

Ok, tomorrow....well, today....Any time after 6pm.  It's your ass.

Posted
Just now, cyberbully said:

Ok, tomorrow....well, today....Any time after 6pm.  It's your ass.

How convenient, the one night when you (psychically) know I'm working from 6 to midnight and then probably getting drunk afterward and not getting home until 4 

Coward 

Posted
Just now, NSAID said:

What are their names

I don't know them like that but there was this enormous one that would climb up on a table to eat my neighbor's cat food. I'd come outside because it sounded like a big dog knocked something over and it would scramble away all big as fuck. 

I never named that one 

Posted

I'm not sure exactly how smart raccoons are anymore but they're some cool animals. In Omaha there's a place called Alpine Inn, and they have great fried chicken and fries... more like potato wedges I guess. They throw all the bones out on a deck in the back and stray cats and raccoons eat together. It's a great dinner and a show.

Posted
1 hour ago, Nabloom said:

How convenient, the one night when you (psychically) know I'm working from 6 to midnight and then probably getting drunk afterward and not getting home until 4 

Coward 

How the hell would I know that.

  • Like 1
Posted
3 minutes ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said:

I feel like you're either really stoned or trolling me. And dammit, so am I.

I'm not trolling or stoned....Which is why I....feel physically stupid, I guess, for not understanding anything past the last 7 or so posts.

  • Like 1
Posted
10 hours ago, Nabloom said:

I don't know them like that but there was this enormous one that would climb up on a table to eat my neighbor's cat food. I'd come outside because it sounded like a big dog knocked something over and it would scramble away all big as fuck. 

I never named that one 

I had an interesting incident with a raccoon. I was going outside and this big lanky dude was near the door. I said, "What the fuck are you doing" and it froze and kept still. I walked out to the end of the driveway, waved my arms and told it to get the fuck out of there. It started coming towards me and I backed up appropriately. When it was crossing the street I probably crossed a little too close cause the raccoon got a little edgy, but I didn't care. Once we were on our own sides of the street I bowed low and said, "Thank you kind sir" because I'm weird. It nosed around in the other yard for awhile, looked at me, then stood on its hind legs and stared in a direction. I looked where it did, and when I turned back it got down and and crouched on its forelimbs facing me. Like I said it was lanky, so if you can imagine a four limbed animals bow, that was it. It then went about its business, and tested proximity to me a little. I was a statue but intended no harm, so it was fine.

 

Later the house cat had an incident, reacting to the invader like the lion does. The cat was under a trailer and the raccoon was close, I told the dude to stay there and tried to call the cat. It waited for about three minutes while the cat howled, and then it moved in. The cat ran out towards me and I went and picked it up where it froze, somewhat near the raccoon. Told the cat he was an idiot and that other guy was gigantic and brought him inside. I'm not entirely sure how to interpret all of this.

Posted
46 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

This is almost as funny as your Zyklon B joke.

Im flattered you remembered that

 

Though I'm not sure how a terrible event in history compares with animals rummaging through my garbage

Posted
On 7/13/2018 at 4:49 PM, Drunkenwarrior said:

Im flattered you remembered that

 

Though I'm not sure how a terrible event in history compares with animals rummaging through my garbage

Daww, aren't we the clever little bigot.

Posted
1 hour ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

The cleverest. 

 

And don't worry, I'll have my lawyer write up my apology speech for my Orwellian public shaming

The capacity of conservatives to disingenuously nail themselves to the cross never ceases to be hysterical.

I control all levels of government yet I'm such an oppressed marginal group woe is me.

Posted
25 minutes ago, enad said:

The capacity of conservatives to disingenuously nail themselves to the cross never ceases to be hysterical.

I control all levels of government yet I'm such an oppressed marginal group woe is me.

I I'm glad you reminded me

 

I'll just use my white privelage to call big daddy Trump and absolve me of my wrong doing, so glad I have him on speed dial

Posted
2 minutes ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

I I'm glad you reminded me

 

I'll just use my white privelage to call big daddy Trump and absolve me of my wrong doing, so glad I have him on speed dial

I'm assuming you've sought out some sort of Gran Torino phone to accommodate those sausage link impersonators your wife insists are fingers?

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Posted
4 hours ago, enad said:

I'm assuming you've sought out some sort of Gran Torino phone to accommodate those sausage link impersonators your wife insists are fingers?

fc-1507.jpg&newwidth=650

Nah, I just use the Obama phone for old people.... Yaknow the ones with the really big screens

4 hours ago, enad said:

 

Posted
3 minutes ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

Nah, I just use the Obama phone for old people.... Yaknow the ones with the really big screens

I'm sure this made sense to you at the beginning but somewhere around "Yaknow" you lost confidence and fell off the bike.

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