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Worst sexual experience?

That_One_Guy

By That_One_Guy
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SwimModSponges Monster Mutant

SwimModSponges

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Once i beat it to a live feed of Storm and Jean Grey being sexually assaulted by dinosaurs while Deadpool stood behind me, also masturbating.

It was sort of awkward, but not too awkward to finish.

Edited by SwimModSponges
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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Just now, SwimModSponges said:

Once i beat it to a live feed of Storm and Jean Grey being sexually assaulted by dinosaurs while Deadpool stoop behind me, also masturbating.

It was sort of awkward, but not too awkward to finish.

Lol I read all about that 

nameraka Monster Mutant

nameraka

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1 minute ago, That_One_Guy said:

Dude that's awful for your first time lol did you think you did something wrong?

i kinda freaked for a second and then she told me. 

i guess i didn't want to make it more awkward or seem like i had no clue, so i just played it off like it was no big deal. 

Opium Aristocrat

Opium

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I wouldn't qualify it as the "worst" as in it being a negative experience but I did gag/burp/choke on a girl's pubes once while I was doin the business.

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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2 minutes ago, diphenyl oxalate said:

I wouldn't qualify it as the "worst" as in it being a negative experience but I did gag/burp/choke on a girl's pubes once while I was doin the business.

Was it really that bad?

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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3 minutes ago, KN said:

Toothy blowjob from a girl with a small mouth.

Felt more scraping on my dick than I did tongue.

That's rough dude. I once got a handjob from a girl that was WAY too aggressive. Instant bone kill

Rogue_Alphonse Monster Mutant

Rogue_Alphonse

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1 hour ago, That_One_Guy said:

I had a girl slap the dog shit out of me once during sex without warning or reason. It actually hurt lol

Worst but funniest.

 

Me and drunk friend (dude) got horny and got into it. We had drank a whole handle of whiskey among other things that night.

 

Whiskey dick happened like 20 minutes in, for both of us, at the same time. It was so bad we laughed hysterically.

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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2 minutes ago, Roggo_Doggo said:

Worst but funniest.

 

Me and drunk friend (dude) got horny and got into it. We had drank a whole handle of whiskey among other things that night.

 

Whiskey dick happened like 20 minutes in, for both of us, at the same time. It was so bad we laughed hysterically.

That sucks ass. Alcohol doesn't really do that to me unless I get stupid drunk which I haven't done since I was like 16

Neko Elder

Neko

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Well shit...most of them.  I gotta see a doctor because my vagina is in pain and my clitoris has non of it's normal functioning.  Basically my vajaja isn't working correctly anymore.  My ex was alright, motivated...welp towards the end you know brain and chemistry play a part in attraction.  It was hard to stay attracted to him because I knew he was no longer attracted to me.  Hard to function but after a while it got bored and stale.  He was no longer interested and offered not one suggestion to help, so one thing led to another and I just kept masturbating to weirder and weirder things till I reached a point and stopped.  Couldn't find anything relatable to the weird things so I couldn't get off as well and had to rely on old feelings that were there and fleeting.   I was attracted to him in a sense and my best orgasms were when I could somewhat connect to him.  TBH that wasn't the worst experience.  I had 2-3 that didn't pan out like I wanted it to.  I ended fooling around with this guy....red flags everywhere, was sloppy and pushy and I told him no multiple times.  Should've went home when I though about it, It was one of those times where I was with the wrong person...he acted like he didn't know what no meant or that no meant something else entirely...happned twice when there should have been a never.  Felt weird then bad, then mad for a while after it happened.  Questioned rape questioned yolo, heck I questioned what my intention was at that time.  I knew that wasn't what love nor sex was suppose to be like...one night stand, hit or or quit it, neither seem like my type of thing but even then, I guess it was from perspective.  Talked to him about it.  He was apologetic and I just left it...I felt bad enough as it was.  I had another experience within a year of that which was a repeat of the same shit.  I said no...just no, go to sleep or something.  Should have removed myself from the situation.  She wasn't trying to hear that shit and wanted what she wanted.  Tbh, it wasn't as much as about sexual as I realized that in the span of 2 years I managed to find myself in the worse situations with people I cared about only to get "I love you" and them taking what they though belonged to them. I have a weird experience but I will tell that in a later post. 

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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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10 minutes ago, Neko said:

Well shit...most of them.  I gotta see a doctor because my vagina is in pain and my clitoris has non of it's normal functioning.  Basically my vajaja isn't working correctly anymore.  My ex was alright, motivated...welp towards the end you know brain and chemistry play a part in attraction.  It was hard to stay attracted to him because I knew he was no longer attracted to me.  Hard to function but after a while it got bored and stale.  He was no longer interested and offered not one suggestion to help, so one thing led to another and I just kept masturbating to weirder and weirder things till I reached a point and stopped.  Couldn't find anything relatable to the weird things so I couldn't get off as well and had to rely on old feelings that were there and fleeting.   I was attracted to him in a sense and my best orgasms were when I could somewhat connect to him.  TBH that wasn't the worst experience.  I had 2-3 that didn't pan out like I wanted it to.  I ended fooling around with this guy....red flags everywhere, was sloppy and pushy and I told him no multiple times.  Should've went home when I though about it, It was one of those times where I was with the wrong person...he acted like he didn't know what no meant or that no meant something else entirely...happned twice when there should have been a never.  Felt weird then bad, then mad for a while after it happened.  Questioned rape questioned yolo, heck I questioned what my intention was at that time.  I knew that wasn't what love nor sex was suppose to be like...one night stand, hit or or quit it, neither seem like my type of thing but even then, I guess it was from perspective.  Talked to him about it.  He was apologetic and I just left it...I felt bad enough as it was.  I had another experience within a year of that which was a repeat of the same shit.  I said no...just no, go to sleep or something.  Should have removed myself from the situation.  She wasn't trying to hear that shit and wanted what she wanted.  Tbh, it wasn't as much as about sexual as I realized that in the span of 2 years I managed to find myself in the worse situations with people I cared about only to get "I love you" and them taking what they though belonged to them. I have a weird experience but I will tell that in a later post. 

Holy shit I didn't expect anything that deep. That's actually all pretty sad.

Rogue_Alphonse Monster Mutant

Rogue_Alphonse

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25 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

That sucks ass. Alcohol doesn't really do that to me unless I get stupid drunk which I haven't done since I was like 16

NORMALLY it makes me horny as fuck and I stay that way.

 

That time was not the case xD

That_One_Guy Paragon

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3 minutes ago, Roggo_Doggo said:

See, I never smoked until I was 19... and I barely smoke now.

Dude I'm a delinquent you don't understand. My family is full of jailhead and drug addicts. I'm all fucked up. But I'm ok though lol. 

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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18 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Got an old-fashioned from a girl named Jackie and she bruised the tip because she didn't live up to the expectation her name set.

You just won this thread holy hell that was funny

Doom Metal Alchemist Monster Mutant

Doom Metal Alchemist

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Well, I'm a 4everalone virgin, so by default my worst sexual experience was masturbation.

For the first time ever (and last) I was fapping standing up in the shower. Partway through I felt a huge pain in the back of my head. It didn't feel at all like a headache. I was worried I was having an aneurysm or something. Dying with my dick in my hand in the shower in my parents' home is not the way I wanted to go out. Anyway, the pain in my head wasn't going away, so I gave up and got out of the shower. The next night, I went for a fap (laying down on the bed this time, per my usual) but when I started, the pain in my head came back. I stopped, the pain stopped. I started again, the pain started again. So I had to go a while without fapping. Eventually this stupid fapping pain went away completely. 

But yeah, I guess I almost got a brain aneurysm masturbating. :| (in reality I have no fucking idea what the pain meant or was from, I just think of it as an almost aneurysm because I have no other answer).

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That_One_Guy Paragon

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15 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Well, I'm a 4everalone virgin, so by default my worst sexual experience was masturbation.

For the first time ever (and last) I was fapping standing up in the shower. Partway through I felt a huge pain in the back of my head. It didn't feel at all like a headache. I was worried I was having an aneurysm or something. Dying with my dick in my hand in the shower in my parents' home is not the way I wanted to go out. Anyway, the pain in my head wasn't going away, so I gave up and got out of the shower. The next night, I went for a fap (laying down on the bed this time, per my usual) but when I started, the pain in my head came back. I stopped, the pain stopped. I started again, the pain started again. So I had to go a while without fapping. Eventually this stupid fapping pain went away completely. 

But yeah, I guess I almost got a brain aneurysm masturbating. :| (in reality I have no fucking idea what the pain meant or was from, I just think of it as an almost aneurysm because I have no other answer).

Dude that's wild. What the hell? That would scare the hell out of me too lol. I'm glad it went away. Fap pain is just cruel 

Phillies Monster Mutant

Phillies

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6 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Well, I'm a 4everalone virgin, so by default my worst sexual experience was masturbation.

For the first time ever (and last) I was fapping standing up in the shower. Partway through I felt a huge pain in the back of my head. It didn't feel at all like a headache. I was worried I was having an aneurysm or something. Dying with my dick in my hand in the shower in my parents' home is not the way I wanted to go out. Anyway, the pain in my head wasn't going away, so I gave up and got out of the shower. The next night, I went for a fap (laying down on the bed this time, per my usual) but when I started, the pain in my head came back. I stopped, the pain stopped. I started again, the pain started again. So I had to go a while without fapping. Eventually this stupid fapping pain went away completely. 

But yeah, I guess I almost got a brain aneurysm masturbating. :| (in reality I have no fucking idea what the pain meant or was from, I just think of it as an almost aneurysm because I have no other answer).

That scared me.

fuggnificent Monster Mutant

fuggnificent

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He was like 4 inches and i could barely feel him. i should have known when he didnt enthusiastically send a dick pic like most guys.

another guy,my boyfriend, couldnt fuck for more than 3 mins. we even timed him.

bnmjy Monster Mutant

bnmjy

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13 minutes ago, fuggnificent said:

He was like 4 inches and i could barely feel him. i should have known when he didnt enthusiastically send a dick pic like most guys.

another guy,my boyfriend, couldnt fuck for more than 3 mins. we even timed him.

Isn't @Phillies 4 inches? xD

Azalar Hex Elder

Azalar Hex

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My first, who I fondly remember as "The Fleshy Washing Machine".  Big girl, liked to be on top, rattled around like an off balanced top-loader.  The circulation went out in my legs and when I started flexing my muscles down there to keep the blood flowing so I didn't have to cut my legs off later, she took that cue incorrectly thinking I was about to pop and started dropping awkward dirty talk.  She also had a blast furnace inside her ass and frequently shot plumes of superheated fart onto my jewels during her erratic pelvic gyration.

But hey, got laid.

Edited by Azalar Hex
That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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2 hours ago, fuggnificent said:

He was like 4 inches and i could barely feel him. i should have known when he didnt enthusiastically send a dick pic like most guys.

another guy,my boyfriend, couldnt fuck for more than 3 mins. we even timed him.

So how did you break it to the 4 inch guy? Was it a polite conversation?

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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1 hour ago, Azalar Hex said:

My first, who I fondly remember as "The Fleshy Washing Machine".  Big girl, liked to be on top, rattled around like an off balanced top-loader.  The circulation went out in my legs and when I started flexing my muscles down there to keep the blood flowing so I didn't have to cut my legs off later, she took that cue incorrectly thinking I was about to pop and started dropping awkward dirty talk.  She also had a blast furnace inside her ass and frequently shot plumes of superheated fart onto my jewels during her erratic pelvic gyration.

But hey, got laid.

 Jesus h christ I know this is the worst one so far lol

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