scoobdog

garden

throat

Oh, but these are purely for our enjoyment. No need to put a price on that.

balls

You were let go because you were an unnecessary tool.

bikini

out

No, just wanted to shove your own words back down your throat,

Drug

"Then who am I talking to?" "Little late to ask that, isn't it?" "Look, my friend just had this number and a Dr's name on a card." "Oh God, is your friend this weasally little shit with a rat tail and a real shiny dome? You tell that moron that I'm not taking his case." A lawyer? "Uh.... I'm sure he will be.... disappointed? Wait, who are you calling a moron?" "Bah. One of my clients gets called that all the time, and he got elected Pres...." " What?" "Forget you heard that."

[Act II] I had fallen asleep in front of the mini mart with a corndog in my hand and a scratcher half-way to loserville in the floor boards. Naturally, it wasn't the result of a massive opiate addiction, I was just exhausted from, you know, working. Hard. I looked down at the card in my hand. Did this mean Dr. Nick Riviera wasn't dead? I called.... "Is Dr. NIck in?" "Who?" "Dr. Nick." "Who is that?" "What do you mean 'who is that?'" There was only silence on the other end. "I don't know what kind of prank this is, but I'm hanging up." "Wait, don't. I found this number on a card." "I have no idea who that is." This was going nowhere fast. I had to think of something..... "Look, my friend gave me this number. He said you could help me with my scalp.... issue." Nothing. "I'm desperate man. I miss my hair so much. The way it used to blow in the window. The way my girlfriend used to tug playfully on it." "What the hell are you talking about?"

Just then, I woke up...

Yes, Chris Isaak is always the right answer.

If he's a good boy, he's hoping she'll sit on his face and fart.

Ha ha.

Last I checked, the DF posts were removed from your post count but you did not lose the like stats for posts in DF.

My Grandma is in the hospital after she broke her hip.

I'm guessing no fun at all.

A Kenny Klassic! [YouTube] [/YouTube]

Kenny sings! [YouTube] [/YouTube]

I had a nice chocolate brown for my rank color on Nodebb. Here, I just ended up red.

Be an asshole.

Shut up, scoob.

I had no idea what Omega 13 meant. I looked over at Ghosty. "You mean the fish oil?" "A little help over here?" "Not now Mirna, I'm on to something." "No, really.... Help!" ghostrek[/member] and I looked over to see Johnny standing over Dr. Nick, a smoking pistol in his hand. "ok wtf?" said Ghosty, echoing my thoughts exactly. Then I noticed that Frankie was near Johnny's black bimmer, grappling with the helpless Mirna. "Frankie, you were the muscle all along?" I could tell he didn't know how to handle a dame. You can always tell a sixty year old virgin when you see one. Johnny fired at me sending me and the ghost scrambling for cover. "Quit screwing around, you dolt. We need put a squeeze on this chick before she squeals to the coppers." "Wait what? You know I leave that kind of work to the other guys to bid on." "Get in the car!" I pulled out my piece and took a few wild shots as they sped away....

Stop being such a stick-in-the-mud.