I use to work with an old dude that covered everything in hot sauce, we joked it was because he was old and didn't have any taste buds left
seriously, dude put hot sauce on everything
That's a much better reaction than I had when I walked in my old GF with another dude
*edit
I didn't read the post about the whole non monogamy thing until after I posted this
Keep in mind you're arguing with an accountant that is constantly in fear he'll lose his job and also apparently broke none stop.
I don't hate the kid but Accounting may not be his forte